


Keen On Boys

by orphan_account



Series: Austlan Cashby; College verse [1]
Category: Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: Austlan - Freeform, Austlan Cashby - Freeform, Cashby, College, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 09:32:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 43
Words: 120,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1118301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan just moved halfway across the country to attend his parents' Alma mater. Due to his roommate's love of D&D, Alan ends up spending most of his time with his R.A., Austin.<br/>(also posted on my mibba page, also the chapters are different {two chapters on mibba = one chapter here})</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

I could hardly take my mom’s constant chatter. Between her telling me that Ohio was going to be pretty in the fall and her explaining to the eight hundred relatives she just had to call when we got here how much bigger the campus had gotten, I thought I was going to die.

“Alan! Look it’s your building!” I legitimately thought she was going to piss herself with excitement. Truthfully, I was nervous as hell. I’m from California, that’s where I wanted to go school, but my dad went to school here, so did my mom, that’s where they met and it meant so much to them for me to go, so I applied, not thinking I would get in. Turns out if your parents are alumnus you pretty much get in, even if you were just a decent student, with eh ACT scores.

I looked out the window to see Oak Hill, the biggest resident hall on campus, mostly home to freshman. There were a few upper classman who lived in co-ed club halls on floors six and seven.

“Are you excited sweetie?” She asked turning around in the front seat to look at me.

“Yeah…”I half lie opening my car door after my dad throws it into park. I stopped and looked around. There was a basketball court off to the right with two boys playing against each other. There were a few girls standing nearby watching. Under one of the huge Oaks, there were two friends talking and drinking smoothies.

“Alan, come on. We want to get you moved in so we can go out for dinner.” My dad calls while walking. I grab my backpack and follow him up to the door.

I followed my dad through the two huge doors that were being held open with bungee cords with ribbons in the school’s colors tied off them. The main room was painted an off beige, the couches a sort of dark red, the wood a little darker than pine. There were a bunch of folding tables set up on the top tier of the main room. The bottom tier, just down a couple of stairs held a big TV with some more ugly couches, a little stand that looks like it sells coffee and baked goods when school is actually in session, and a couple little tables and chairs scattered about. I focused my attention on the folding tables in front of me. My parents have started talking to other parents leaving me to check in by myself. FLOOR THREE EAST—GIRLS, FLOOR SEVEN—ANIME--CO-ED. I sighed. The tables were in no specific order. The R.A.s probably just set up next to their friends.

“What floor are you looking for?” I look to my left to see a guy a little taller than me with long, brown hair.

“Uh,” I look at my paper. “Floor two south.”

“Nice, you’re with Austin. He just took someone up, but he’ll be back down in a few. His table is over there.” He points left; the table was back in the corner next to the art club wing’s table. “I’m Phil, by the way. I’m an R.A. in North, right across the hall. What’s your name?”

“Alan.”

“Alright, Alan, I’ll see you around.” He waves and goes to talk to another kid looking just as lost as I was. I walk over to Austin’s table and wait.

“Hi! Are you one of Austin’s?” A cheery girl with blonde hair asks from behind her table.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, awesome! I’m Penelope, by the way.”

“Alan.”

“Well, Alan. You are going to love it here, and you’ll probably love Austin as your R.A. he’s pretty fun.” She smiles.

“Penelope, they told us not to flirt with the new residents.” A tall guy with tattoos running down his right arm says walking behind her.

“I wasn’t flirting, Austin! I was making conversation with your resident, Alan.”

“Looks like my groups smarter than yours. How many have you checked in already? Like two?” He laughs, it’s a weird, but endearing laugh.

“Three.” She corrects sarcastically.

“Hi there. Alan, right?” He looks at me and smiles. I’ve been here for five minutes and I just may be in love.

“Yeah, my last name is Ashby, if you need it.” I say looking down.

“Well look at you making my job easier.” He says picking up his clipboard and flipping through papers. “Ah, I found you. Room 220.” He opens a little box filled with keys and fumbles through them before coming across one of the two keys for 220 and handing it to me. “I wouldn’t lose that if I were you. It cost a fortune to replace it. Tino, my roommate, lost his last year. It was awful.” He laughs. “I can take you to your room now if you want.” By now my parents had decided to come over and join in on taking me to my room. “You must be Alan’s parents? I’m Austin; his R.A. It’s nice to meet you.”

Austin leads me and my parents up three flights of stairs, through a gray door marked SOUTH, and four doors down from that one to room 220.

“So you can go ahead and unlock it. You may have to push on it a little. These doors haven’t been opened since they cleaned them out last summer.”

I put the key in the lock, turn it and nudge it with my hip a couple of times before it opens. “Nice job, you’re a natural.” He smiles at me. I want to die. This is not how I need to start college, with some weird crush on someone who is supposed to be there in case I try to hang myself or something.

I look inside. It’s pretty basic. Of the two beds inside, one is lofted with the corresponding dresser and desk under it. I decide that this is the one I want.

“So basically with the beds, you can lower them to standard height or there’s one that’s a little taller, the dresser can fit under it, or you can bunk them. If you want to do that just come down and tell me and I’ll get maintenance to come and get that done as soon as they can. Um…oh yeah, my room is like right down the hall.” He points and I look to see. “I mean it’s really hard to miss with the huge black R.A. painted above the door, but you’d be surprised. Alright, here’s the last thing and then I’ll let you start moving in. Here is your paper. Basically just write down anything that appears to broken or if there’s like paint coming off the wall. Just so you don’t get blamed for it. Alright, I will see you later, Alan and parents. If you need anything I’ll either be up here or downstairs checking people in.” he walks towards the stairs before turning around. “I forgot to tell you, there are elevators across from the stairs, it’s a lot easier moving in that way.”

++++++++++++

Militant isn’t even close to describing my mom’s techniques for moving me in. Back at home she insisted on packing everything for me so she could appropriately label everything. She insisted on making several trips to both Wal-Mart and Target to make sure that I had everything I would need. Apparently she thought that I was going to be living forty thousand miles away from civilization and the only way I would be able to shower would be to buy it all now. When my dad and I were packing the car she made us arrange things in the order to which she wanted it unpacked. Bedding, organization bins, and weird cloth things that you hang in your closet for shoes were first, then clothes, then other shit, half of the boxes’ contents were a mystery to me. All I did was pick out colors and patterns, half of which were shot down because they didn’t match something else in my mother’s arsenal of college supplies.

“Alan, I want you and your dad to go downstairs and get the boxes with your bedding. I’m going to clean this room up while you’re down there, so take your time.” She opens the bag she brought with her and pulls out her Clorox wipes and that’s when my dad and I head for the stairs.

“What do you think so far?” He asks me as we get outside my door.

“I mean I’ve only been here for like, ten minutes so I can’t really tell you?” I say following him to the stairs.

“Well, what do you think of the people.”

“I’ve met like three people and they were nice, especially Austin, he seems really helpful.” I could name some ways he could help me. I mean, with locating my classes and all of that.  
When we make it to the stairs, Phil is taking another family up. This kid must be the North wing’s token ginger, like I’m the South’s. “Hey Alan! Getting ready to move in?” I nod and he smiles and looks at the family that’s following him. “Come on Trotta family; let’s get you ready to move Justin in!” He takes them up and my dad and I continue to walk to the car. “When did you meet that guy?” He asks as we make it through the main doors.

“When we first got here, you were talking to some other parents so he showed me where Austin’s table was.” I shrug.

As we walk to the car, my dad clicks the button to unlock it. “What did she want again?” He asks looking at the boxes.

“I know she wanted the bedding, but I don’t know if she wanted the clothes.” I look at my dad.

“Well, they’re going to have to come up anyway.” He grabs the box marked bedding and hands it to me, then takes one of the boxes with my clothes (folded neatly, thanks mom) in it and closes the hatch.

-=-

“Alan, get up there and slide the mattress to your dad so I can put sheets and things on it without injuring myself. I just don’t understand why you want your bed up this high.” I climbed up the side of the bed and maneuvered myself to slide the mattress toward my dad so he could set it on the floor so my mom could the four hundred things that she bought to make my bed comfortable on it. I remember the day we bought it. ’Alan, I know you’re going to think I’m being ridiculous, but that mattress is going to be so hard, I just want my baby to be comfortable so he can sleep well.' And honestly, after I climbed on the mattress, I’m glad she bought all four hundred of them.

“Alan and family.” I hear from the door. I look over and see Austin and a skinny boy with glasses and short black hair staring at me. “This is Vince, your roommate.” I watched as my mother resisted every urge she had to go over and hug him and officially adopt him into the Ashby family.

“Hi, Vince.” I wave awkwardly from my newly comfortable mattress. We had texted a bit over the summer; apparently he’s really into Dungeons and Dragons. That’s basically all I know about him because that’s literally all he talks about.

“Hi there, Alan.” He says looking around at the room. Austin starts telling him the same things he told me, about the door, where his room was, about the elevators, and finally giving him a copy of the paper he gave me, and then he heads toward the wing door. Vince sets the paper on the desk and disappears, I’m guessing to go get his stuff.

“Honey, do you want your underwear in the top drawer like you have it at home?” I look up at the door and see Austin standing there, trying not to laugh.

“Uh…” I start looking down at my mom who was sitting in my desk chair going through my box, separating things and putting them into drawers. “Sure?”

“I, uh, I'm sorry, um, where’s Vince?” Austin asks from the door.

“I don’t know, why?” I ask back, trying not to make eye contact with him.

“I forgot to tell you that we have a wing meeting tonight. I can’t make it mandatory, but it’d be nice if you would come. I’m just going to fill you in on some rules and stuff. I’ll try to make it as short as I can. You’ll tell Vince, right?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.” I say looking up at him, then looking back down.

“Nice, it’s at 8 and it’ll just be out here.” He points behind him with his thumb. “I’ll see you then!”

-=-

After I went to dinner with parents and watched my mom cry throughout the whole thing, I sat in my room and watched Vince arrange his ‘collectables’ on his desk for an hour before heading out in the hall for the wing meeting.

“Hey, Vince, are you coming?” I was standing in the doorway, it was 8:05 and people were starting to come out of their rooms. It was the first time seeing the people of my floor. Austin’s door opens and I see him and who I’m assuming to be Tino walk over to where most of the group was standing. Vince walks over to the door and leans in the door frame, a little too close to me.

“Uh, hey guys, if we could all just gather a little closer that would be fantastic, I’m not trying to yell all the way down the hallway.” The people from the end of the hall scooted closer. “Nice, thanks guys. I’m Austin, your R.A., you already knew that. Um…right. Okay, so I know most of you are going to think this is is lame, but we’re going to go around and introduce ourselves.” There were a few ‘dammit’s and ‘ugh’s from the group. “That’s the spirit. So basically just tell us your name, where you’re from and something interesting about yourself. I’ll start. Okay, I’m Austin, I’ve lived here in Ohio for a while now, and I’m on the baseball team. Okay, Tino, go.” Austin says tapping Tino with his clipboard.

“Uh, let’s see. I’m Tino, aka Your Boy, I’m Austin’s roommate. I, too, have lived in Ohio for a bit now, um, I can whistle really loud, I can do it right now---” Austin stops him. “No, I would prefer for them not to go deaf right now. There are rules to go over, and your whistling is in violation of like five of them. Okay, next.”

I always get nervous during these things. I always feel like the most boring person in the world because everyone is always like ‘I can burp the alphabet backwards’ and I just say something that’s not interesting at all like ‘I have red hair’ and everyone looks at me like I’m stupid. When they got to Vince, he of course says the most interesting thing about him is that he plays D&D and can speak Klingon or something.

“Uh, I’m Alan from California….um; I can break an egg one handed?” Tino starts laughing and Austin looks at me weird. I shrug and awkwardly stand there while people keep looking at me, even when the guy in 221 starts talking. This is my life, where my adorable R.A. knows where I keep my underwear and thinks I’m the most boring person in the world.


	2. Two

I feel my bed start move and look down and see Austin standing next to my bed, just in front of the Vince’s desk, looking at me. “Hey Alan. Your door was wide open, so I called for you or Vince and no one responded so I came in and woke you up.”

I rub my left eye and look at him. “Vince must’ve left it open when he left this mornin.” I mumble and sit up on my bed, nearly smacking my head on the ceiling.

“Well tell him not to do that, filling out stolen property forms is a pain in the ass.” He says walking towards the door.

“Will do.” I look at my phone and see that’s almost 11:30, I consider going to back to sleep. Who knows how much sleep I’ll be getting once classes start.

He looks back at me from the door. “Hey, Tino and I are going down to the caf for lunch if you want to come with us. I was just going to get Phil and Aaron from across the hall.” I looked at him for a minute. He wanted me to go eat with his friends. Is this real life?

“Yeah, that’d be awesome! Can you give me like five minutes to get dressed?” I ask over enthusiastically, moving my pile of blankets that my mom insisted I have, over, so I could get off my bed.

“Great! We’ll be in the main area just outside the main door. I’ll see you in a few.” He walks out the door and closes it behind him. I carefully lower myself on to my dresser and jump off.

-=-

Austin and Tino were waiting in the main hall in between Austin and Phil’s wings where the elevators and stairs were located.

“Hey, Alan! Phil and Aaron are meeting us over at the caf; Phil’s dealing with a situation right now.” Austin grimaces. “You’ve met Phil right?” Austin and Tino start walking toward the elevator and I follow.

“Yeah, yesterday, but not Aaron.”

“Look at you, you already know people.” Austin smiles. “All of us, plus a couple other friends, know each other from high school, I can’t even imagine moving like halfway across the country. Why did you come here?”

We were in the main area now. The tiers were filled with people; the little kiosk on the bottom had people around it buying smoothies and coffee and other things. The TV was playing some sporting event that I couldn’t catch because Austin and Tino were moving quickly to the exit.

“My parents made me apply because they went here, I got in and pretty much nowhere else back at home except community schools, and I didn’t want to live at home, I wanted to be in a dorm, so I came here.” I say following them down the path. “Hey Penelope!” Tino yells. The girl from yesterday and waves at him.

“Well, I hope you like it here then.” Austin laughs. “Considering you came this far.”

“Yeah, me too.”

We walk into the commons building and it’s the only the second time I’ve been here. The first time was yesterday when I had to buy my books and check in with all of the different offices on campus---safety, financial aid, registrar, business. The list seemed endless.

I followed Austin and Tino down a hallway and into the cafeteria. I watched them as they slide their I.D. cards under the watchful eye of a student worker. I slid my card and followed them over to the table all the way in the far corner, next to a wall of windows looking out over the rest of campus.

“Do you guys sit here every day?" I ask sitting next to the window across from Tino. It seemed to be the most out of the way place.

“Basically. Unless we’re piled down with homework or Austin’s with Sh---ow---dammit Austin.” Tino shoots him a dirty look. “Basically yes. We try to eat at the same time every day, sometimes that doesn’t happen though. Oh there’s Phil and Aaron.” He waves them over and Phil waves back.

“Tino, why do you look like you’re in pain?” Phil asks standing next to me.

“Because fucking Austin kicked me.”

“Not even going to ask. Anyway, hi, Alan. This is my roommate, Aaron.” Aaron waves saying a quick hello, Tino stands up and everyone seems to follow him up to the lines.

“How was your first night?” Phil asks as we walk.

“It was okay, kind of hard to fall asleep with a total stranger though.”

Phil nods in agreement. “Been there before. I got stuck with some creep that watched me sleep all the time.” I grab a plate and decide that pizza would be the best choice. The line was the shortest and I might as well start my college career on a stereotypical note.

-=-

I’m back at the table first, followed by Tino. “Pizza? Dude, come on.” He exasperates setting his plate on the table.

“Sorry?” I say as he’s walking off in the direction of the drink area.

Austin comes next, drink already in hand. He sets his food on the table and looks at Tino plate, makes a gross face and sits down. “Pizza?” He smiles.

“Is there some sort of pizza slash freshman slash this guy’s an idiot joke that I need to know about? Because Tino said something, too.”

Austin smiles. “Yeah, if you look around, like 90% of the freshmen are eating pizza. I did it my freshman year, too. It’s just something that Tino noticed last year when we were sophomores. It’s not like bad or anything. He just likes to make observations.” He laughs and takes a bite of chicken nugget.

Phil and Aaron arrive at the table at the same time. Luckily neither of them say anything about my pizza.

“Wait, Phil. How did you know that your roommate watched you sleep?” I ask grabbing a napkin from the dispenser in the center of the table, Tino laughs as he sits down at his spot.

Phil laughs. “He basically told me. One night he was just like ‘you don’t move at all when you sleep’ and I was just like okay and started sleeping in Aaron’s room on an air mattress.” He says moving his food around on his plate with his fork.

“Until Phil unknowingly started dating my roommate’s ex, then he was forced to sleep in his own room.” Aaron laughs.

-=-

“Alan, you wanna come back to our room? Austin has some dumb work study meeting but it shouldn’t take long.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” I smile. Tino sets his tray on the conveyor and waits for me to do the same.

“Do you have your schedule with you? I could give you some tips on teachers.” He offers. I follow him as he starts walking towards the door we came into. Austin was back at the table with Phil, laughing about something.

“Yeah, it’s in my room, but I can grab it really quick.”

-=-

When we make it back to my room, the door is open and Vince and a couple of his friends are sitting on the floor, a huge game board spread out in front of the door. Little figurines scattered across the board with little popup doors placed in different colored areas.

“Um, hi Vince, you remember Tino?” I ask walking around a tiny girl with dark hair and a red folder standing up in front of her.

“Austin’s roommate? Yeah.” Vince looks down at his papers.

Tino looks at me from the door. “What are you even playing?” He asks to anyone willing to answer. I shrug and go to my desk, pulling out the top drawer and grabbing my schedule.

“Dungeons and Dragons.” The girl with the red folder responds.

“Oh.” Tino says and walks away from the door, I carefully step over Vince and his friend’s game and follow Tino to his and Austin’s room.

+++++

“You have Taylor for English? That sucks.” Tino laughs after he opens his door. I had handed him my schedule after exiting from the D&D party in my room.

“Thanks for that.” I mumble following him into his room. Their room was a little bigger than mine. Tino walks over to the bed against the far wall, leaving me to assume that the bed diagonal from the door was Austin’s. I sit in the desk chair closest to Tino’s bed.

Tino laughs and continues to look at my schedule. “Why are you taking all of this shit? Environmental Science? Psych 101?” Tino looks up at me.

“Well, I just went with what they told me. I don’t really have a major so.” I twist around in Tino’s desk chair and look at the desk next to the one belonging to the chair I was currently sitting in. There were notebooks with phone numbers with all different area codes, web addresses and pamphlets scattered all over.

“Well that makes sense.” He sets the schedule on his bed.

“What’s your major?” I ask looking back at him.

“Sociology, the best major.” He laughs.

“I don’t even know what that is.” I say looking over to their closets. There was a Slipknot poster on one and a Boyz II Men poster on the other.

The door opens and Austin walks in. “Hey sorry. Shelly thought I needed to know how to work the copier again. Because I haven’t been working for her since day one.” He sits on his bed.

“She’s old, Austin, leave her alone.” Tino laughs. Pulling a page from the book of Tino and making the observation: Tino is a happy person.

“Anyway, let’s ignore Tino. You thinking about joining any clubs?”

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it.”

“I’m sure you could join Dungeons and Dragons club with Spock.” Tino says looking up from his phone.

“Is Spock Vince? Or am I missing something?” I ask.

“Yep. Austin and I gave everyone nicknames last night. It helps with the name remembering process. Like that really tall kid in 214, his nickname is Shaq. Vince is Spock, because he speaks Klingon or whatever the hell, the really creepy kid in 217? Manson. Because he looks like he could lead a cult to murder people.”

“That’s...nice. I’m guess mine has something to do with eggs, then, right?” I sigh.

“Actually---” Tino starts.

“Yep.” Austin interjects. “Yours is Deviled Eggs, because your red hair and the whole egg thing.”

Tino looks at Austin with a quizzical look and I’m starting to think that Deviled Eggs isn’t my real nickname. Oh god.

“Which leads me to ask you, what was the whole egg thing?” Tino looks from Austin to me.

“I didn’t know what else to say so I just said that? My mom said that it’s a nice skill to have.”

Tino looks at me and starts laughing. “I don’t really think that you know how funny you are.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny. That’s what my mom actually said.”

Austin starts laughing now and I just feel like a total idiot. Why can’t I learn to control my word vomit?

There’s a knock on the door and Austin gets up to answer it, still laughing. He opens the door enough to see who it is. He says something along the lines of ‘Hey, Shay’ this must be that mysterious person that Tino was talking about at lunch. Austin steps out of the room and Tino looks at me.

“That’s Shayley. Austin’s boyfriend” Boyfriend. Austin has a boyfriend. Austin likes boys. There could be some hope there. “Well, that’s what Austin refers to him as. They broke up towards the end of sophomore year, because Shayley needed to be free to find his muse or some bullshit. Austin was heartbroken, so Shayley comes over once a week to make Austin feel like he’s relevant in his life. I don’t like Shayley and Austin doesn’t like to talk about him, hence the kicking earlier. I’m just warning you. It’d probably be best if you never even say Shayley. Ever.” Tino looks at me with a serious face and I decide that I don’t like Shayley.

“I’ll try to remember that.”

“Try and remember what?” Austin is in the doorway, followed by a guy slightly shorter than him with a beanie, covering his light brown hair.

Tino looks at me. “Not to have his phone out in Greene’s class.”

“Oh, right, you don’t want to do that. Anyway, um, Alan this is Shayley.” Austin says as he moves out of the doorway. Shayley walks in after him and looks at me. “Hi…” I feel Shayley judging me from his position next to the semi-opened door. Definitely don’t like him.

“Um, Tino…Shayley was going to show me that new song he was working on, you know how he is about people.” Austin awkwardly stands there.

“He doesn’t have a guitar though.” It was only meant to be a thought, honestly, but mouth opened and it came out and now I just sat there with my mouth closed tight. Tino looked like he was going to cry from biting his lip so hard, Shayley just narrowed his eyes at me, and Austin was blushing. No. No. No.

“Alan, how about I show you where your class is, so you’re ready.” Tino says standing up.

“Yeah, that sounds great. It was nice to meet you, Shayley, good luck with that song thing.” I quickly follow Tino out of the door.

-=-

 _“I can’t even believe you said that.”_ I ditched Tino out of embarrassment and returned to my room. Vince was gone so I called my best friend Natalie back home.

“I know it was just the most awful thing, and I left my schedule on Tino’s bed and I’m going to have to go over there and get it.” I sigh leaning back against the wall.

_“You’re so dramatic. It could be worse. Just go get it.” >_

_“What if he hates me?”_

_“Austin doesn’t hate you. Go get your schedule. I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Alan. Go get it.”_ She laughs. 

I hang up and sigh. It was 9:15, if I was going to go get it. I would have to go now. I could always go down to Student Affairs and get a new one, but that was too much work. Especially since I knew where my actual one was. I climb off my bed, grab my keys and walk into the hallway in my sock feet. This wasn’t going to take long. 


	3. three

I walked down to 226 and leaned closer to the door to see if I can hear anything. I don’t want to interrupt Shayley’s _guitar playing_.

“Alan?” I turn around and see Austin looking at me from the hallway, he was wearing an apron that read _Thomas’ Bakery_ and had a brown paper bag in hand.

“Oh, hi. Sorry if this is weird.” I move out of the way as Austin walks towards the door, key in hand to unlock it.

“Oh, no you’re fine. I was at work. Did you need something? Are we out of toilet paper again?” He opens the door and I stand awkwardly in the frame, watching him walk in and set the bag down on his desk, avoiding the papers.

“Um no, I left my schedule on Tino’s bed earlier and seeing that Student Affairs is closed this weekend I kind of need it.” I shuffle my feet and look up at him. He was untying the apron and lifting it over his head, his black slipknot shirt sliding up a little on his stomach. Why.

“Oh, yeah that would be useful.” He walks over to Tino’s bed and grabs it and glances down at the paper. “If I were you I’d get your science switched to another professor. He doesn’t teach and his exams are super hard.”

“Oh, thanks. I’ll see if they’ll let me.” I take the paper and look at him; he had a bit of flour on his cheeks. God hates me.

“You need anything else?”

“I’m sorry for earlier. I really need to work on a filter.”

“Um, it’s okay. I didn’t really mind. Shay was kind of mad, but…no it’s fine.”

“Um, well thanks for getting this for me. I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah, you’re eating lunch with us again, right?” He smiles.

“Yes! I mean, if you guys want me to. I can always eat with Vince...” I shudder at the thought of  
having to sit with Vince and his friends. I’m sure they’re nice, but no. Just no.  
He laughs. “Yeah, I want you to, er, so does everyone else.” He trips over his words and sets his hand on his desk, as if he actually lost his balance in his word stumbling. “Collectively, as a group we want you to eat with us.”

“Um, so 11:30, right?”

“Yeah!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I say turning from the door and heading down the hallway.

“Alan!” I turn around. “Tell Vince to close the door when he leaves the room.”

“I will.” I hear him laugh and close the door quietly. I make it down the rest of the hallway to my door, take out my key and open the door with 220 on the little metal plaque.  
Vince and the girl with the red folder were in the room when I got back.

“Hey Vince and…” I look at the girl.

“Shawna.” She says quietly.

“Oh, hi Shawna.” I smile at her and walk over to my chair and sit down. Vince looks over at me and tilts his head to the door and he gets up and walks over and out, I sigh and follow him. I can’t even imagine what this could be about.

“What?” I ask him as he cracks the door so we can get back in since neither of us brought our keys out with us. I guess Shawna could let us back in, but I wasn’t going to annoy Vince with that.

“I’m trying to get her to like me.” He says leaning against the concrete wall next to the door.

“Oh, so you want me to leave so it isn’t more awkward.” I state looking at him. He runs his left hand through his hair. “If it wouldn’t be too much trouble…” I sigh. I can’t help but feel the guy’s pain.

“Right, yeah I’ll go do laundry or something. I have a little pile.” I say. I really just wanted to watch a shitty horror movie on my computer and fall asleep. But part of being a good roommate is helping the guy get it in, right?

“Really? Thank you so much, Alan. I owe you.” He looks like he’s about to hug me, but thankfully doesn’t.

“It’s no problem.” I open the door and follow him in. “Do you know where the laundry room is?”

-=-

“Well this isn’t sketch as fuck…” I mumble walking down the concrete stairs into the basement of the building. I could hear a few machines going as I reached the bottom of the stairs. There were about ten machines on one side of a metal table, with another ten on the other side. Twenty dryers, stacked two high lined the back wall next to an area with couches and tables. On one of the couches was the kid that Phil was taking to his room on move in day. Jason or Jacob, something with a J, that’s all I remember, he was curled up on one of the couches reading the issue of AP with Chiodos on the cover. I set my laundry bag and one of those tide pod things that my mom bought for me on the washer next to one I planned on using. I threw the pod in the open washer and tossed my clothes in after, set it and walked over to a couch. I should’ve brought a magazine or something.

“I’m really glad they got back with their original line up.” I say. It was going to be awkward if we both just sat down here without speaking.

“Huh? Oh right? I liked Brandon’s voice, but original is better. I’m Justin, by the way.” He smiles over his magazine.

“I’m Alan.”

 

 

+++++++++++++++

Vince was sitting on his bed, a huge science book spread out on his lap when I returned to the room.  
“You get anywhere with Shawn?” I ask sitting in my desk chair and opening my laundry bag on the floor and taking out a shirt.

“Huh? Kind of. She agreed to go to the coffee shop with me Monday after class.” He blushes a bit looking down at his book. “Thanks for going and doing your laundry.”

“No problem.” I fold the shirt quickly and set it on my desk.

“How was the laundry room?” I’m a little taken aback. Vince and I were having a real conversation.

“It was okay, the stairwell going down there was really sketchy, but it was nice.” I fold another shirt and set it on top of the other one.

“Was there anyone down there?”

“Yeah, this kid in Phil’s hall, Justin. He seems really cool.” Justin and I talked for at least an hour while we were doing out laundry Justin’s parents pressured him into attending the same school as his brother. Apparently in high school, Justin had trouble making friends so his parents thought that if he went to the same school as his brother it would help him make friends, even though Justin and his brother are polar opposites.

“That’s good. Aren’t you friends with Austin?” He asks.

“Um, kind of? Like he invites me to eat lunch with him.” I pull out two pairs of boxer briefs from the laundry and set them on my desk.

“Do you think you could ask him about visiting hours? I don’t really know him and I don’t think he or his roommate like me…”

“I’m sure he will, but yeah, I’ll ask him tomorrow.”

-=-

I woke up at 10:30 the next morning and decided to venture into the bathroom to shower. I climbed down on my dresser, then down to the floor. I look over at Vince’s bed; he’s stretched across his it, quiet snores coming out of his mouth. I grabbed a pair of underwear from the drawer, my little basket of shower stuff, and a towel from my closet and went quickly to the bathroom. The back of the bathroom housed the six showers, two rows of three right across from each other. I set my basket in front of the shower in the farthest corner, hung my towel on the hook, and threw my underwear in the cubby on the wall that kind of separated the showers from being right up next to each other. Above the cubby was a little sign that was laminated, it read: please do not fondle your dick (or anyone else’s) in the shower!!

-=-

After my shower I ran back to my room and attempted to open the door. It was locked. I sighed and knocked on the door, awkwardly standing there in gray boxer briefs.

“Vince! Open the fucking door!” I banged harder on the door. “Vince!”

“Jesus, Alan, hold on.” I heard him unlock the door and open it.

“Thanks, I didn’t realize the door would lock when I closed it.” I walk over to my desk chair and sit, while Vince climbs back into bed. I run the towel through my hair again before throwing it on desk. I open the drawer with my shirts in it and flip through my folded shirts, selecting a Pink Floyd one. I threw on the pair of jeans I wore yesterday, grabbed a pair of socks and climbed back on my bed to grab my phone, which I could hear buzzing. It was probably my mom making sure I got up at a reasonable time.

“Hello?”

“Hey sweetie, did I wake you?” I could tell she was making breakfast. She insisted on making my dad and me a huge breakfast before I went to school, and he went off to work.

“No, I’ve been up for about 45 minutes.”

“Well that’s good, it’s what 11 there?”

“11:15, I’m going to lunch soon.”

“By yourself? Honey…”

“Mom, no with Austin and his friends.” I sigh and lean up against the wall.

“Is that your RA? He seems like a nice boy. You make any other friends?” I could hear my dad talking to her in the background.

“Yeah, Austin’s my RA and I met this kid, Justin in the laundry room, dad and I past him when we were moving me in.”

“Oh, I’m happy for you sweetie, your dad wants to talk to you.” I sighed; I had to meet Austin in like ten minutes.

“Hi dad.”

“Hey, son. How’s it going.” I listen to my dad and I slide one of the socks on my left foot.

“Good.” I liked talking to my parents, but damn I just want to eat.

“Meet any pretty girls?”

“Dad, you know—“

“Alan, calm down, it was joke. Any handsome young men, then?”

“A few.” I laugh a bit.

“Well, I don’t want to nag, but be careful.”

I sighed and looked at the clock on the microwave. 11:35. “Dad, I would love to sit here and talk about condoms, but I’m meeting some friends for lunch so I have to go. I love you and mom. I’ll try to call later. Bye.” I click the end button and hop down on my desk, then to the floor. Maybe having my bed up this high wasn’t such a good idea.

I slide on my shoes, grab my keys and leave the room.

-=-

“Alan, hey!” Austin and Phil were sitting at their usual table, Tino and Aaron nowhere to be found.

“Sorry, my mom called and proceeded to talk for like half an hour.” I sit down next to Austin.

“It’s fine, I thought you stood me up.” Austin fakes a frown and Phil laughs.

“Where’s Tino?” Phil asks Austin.

“Well, he got in late last night, he was out with Penelope or something, I asked him if he wanted to come and he said no, so he’s still sleeping.”

“Are they dating?” I ask.

“Practically. They both like each other but neither one of them will make the first move. It’s kind of annoying.” Austin laughs and get sup to go get his food, Phil and I follow. I decide not to go with pizza this time, because I don’t feel like being made fun of today. I look at the options, some sort of pasta dish, a gross looking cheeseburger, pizza, or grilled cheese. The grilled cheese line was the shortest, so that’s what I went with. I grabbed the plate and went over to the drink station, got my drink and went back to the table, again, the first person back.

Austin arrived next with the pasta. “If you make fun of my grilled cheese I’m quitting life.” I say to him.  
He laughs. “No you’re good with the grilled cheese.”


	4. four

Austin had excused himself to the area right outside of the window next to where we ate. I could see him from my seat; he was pacing back and forth and had a concerned look on his face.

“So how’s life treating you, Alan?” Phil asks chewing on a crinkle fry.

“Um, good I guess?” What an awkward way to phrase a question.

“Is your roommate still weird?”

I nodded and Austin came back in through the door four tables down from ours.

“I’m really sorry; Alan, but we have an emergency in Phil’s hall.” Austin grabs his keys off the table.

“What?” Phil turns to look at him. “Why didn’t they call me?” He sighs, standing up, grabbing his phone off the table along with his keys.

“I’ll see you around, Alan. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” I sigh, moving around the fries that came with my grilled cheese. I guess I couldn’t really upset, that’s what you get when the only people you really talk to are RAs, I suppose. I threw away my trash and began walking back to the dorm.

-=-

Vince wasn’t in the room when I got back. I left the door open and folded my remaining laundry. Underwear in the first drawer, rolled, along with my socks, matched to its mate, shirt like clothes in the second folded, pants and shorts in the bottom drawer. The five million sweaters mom made me get were in the closet, all hung up on their own hangers. This was how my mom did it when she would do my laundry for me, so I figured I’d try to do the same since I’m accustomed to it.

“Alan?” I looked up the door in the process of folding my shirt.

“Justin?” I set the shirt in the drawer on top of the previously folded one.

“Sorry if this is weird but your RA and Phil are in my room right now so I had to leave, so I walked over here just to see what was going on, and behold, your door was open.” He stands awkwardly in the door so I motion him in. This must be the reason that Phil and Austin had to leave at lunch.

“What’s going on?” I hesitate to ask, Justin grabs Vince’s chair and brings it over to my desk.

“Well, my two other roommates, Eric and Jake just got into a fist fight over something, I have no idea what since I walked in right in right after Phil and Austin got there.”

“You have two other roommates?”

He nods. “Yeah, a couple of the rooms over on Phil’s side are really big so they put three people in them. But I think either Eric or Jake is moving over into your hall, so I’ll probably only have one.”

“We haven’t even started classes yet and you already have drama.”

“Just another day in the life of a college student I guess.”

Justin and I talked until Vince came back from whatever he was doing and made it really awkward.

“Who is that?” Vince asked as he set his backpack on his bed, unzipping it as he talked.

“Justin from over in the North hallway.” I stare at the still half full laundry basket on the floor and sigh. I never realized I had this much clothes, and that it took this long to fold them this way. My mom must have no life.

+++++

When I returned from taking a piss, Vince was standing on his bed with a tape measurer in his left hand, a roll of duct tape in the other. This was going to be good.

“Vince?” I asked him while walking over to the area that my mom liked to refer to as our ‘kitchenette’ which basically consisted of Vince and I’s mini fridges, a small tv dinner table that mom got so we had somewhere to ‘prepare’ our food as if we were making four course meals in our dorm, a small microwave, and a plastic drawer thing full of macaroni and cheese and other food items.

“Yes, Alan?” I opened the drawer, grabbed a container of macaroni and cheese and a bottle of water from the case of the floor and walked over to the little table. Mom would be proud.

“What exactly are you doing?” The top of the tub came off, water goes in, tub enters microwave.

“I’m hanging up this wall decal of the U.S.S Enterprise, you know, from Star Trek?” Vince enthusiastically said placing a small piece of duct tape on the wall.

“Right, well I hope that works out for you.” I turn around to the microwave just as it starts to beep. I take the hot tub out of the microwave, setting it on the table and squeezing the cheese sauce into it, stirring it with a fork I grabbed off the top of the microwave.

Vince hops off his bed and makes his way to the door. I didn’t hear anyone knock, but then again our microwave was really loud.

“Um, hey Austin.” Vince opens the door a little wider

“What are we doing in here?” Austin leans against the door frame.

Vince goes over to his desk and sits so I walk over to the door, mac and cheese in hand. “Vince is hanging up some poster thing and I’m not doing anything.” I stick the fork into the noodles and look at him; he’s acquired a beanie and hoodie sometime since lunch and now, close to 8 at night.

Austin leans in a little closer. “Then come up to the roof with me. Phil and a couple of other people will be up there.” He had lowered his voice, almost whispering and fuck, how I didn’t have an erection was beyond me.

-=-

Austin explained that it was little chillier than it had been this morning, plus we were going to the roof, so I grabbed a hoodie and got in the elevator with him. He pressed the button to the tenth floor.

“What exactly are you guys doing on the roof?” I ask taking a bite out of macaroni and cheese.

“Goof off, drink some, you know.” He shrugs.

“Hm.” Part of me wanted to ask how he thought drinking on the roof would be a good idea, especially since he’s an RA, but I decided not to press my luck, running my mouth had already gotten me on shaky ground with the whole Shayley incident. Shayley. Fuck, what if he was at this little shindig on the roof. “So who is going to be up there?”

“Well, aside from you and me, Phil, his girlfriend Anouk, she’s from Holland, I can’t understand a thing she says, Tino, probably Penelope, Aaron, maybe. Not too many, our group is pretty small.”

“What about Shayley.” Fuck.

He laughs. “No, he has some open mic night shit that he’s doing. I don’t even ask anymore.”

“Oh.” We arrive on the tenth floor, which I assume no one uses considering the lack of life. Austin takes out his flashlight and we make our way into one of the hallways. Furniture and trash had taken over most of the pathways. There were plastic sheets covering the areas where doors used to hang.

“Why does it look like this?” I was walking directly behind Austin, someone could jump out and murder me, at least Austin looks intimidating and has a flashlight.

“It’s haunted. No one wants to live up here so they closed it down.” Austin turns and looks at me.

“Are you shitting me?” I was terrified of ghosts. The whole afterlife thing was just creepy.

“No, I’m serious. This building was built on a Native American burial ground.” He looks behind him.

“Did you hear that?”

“Austin, stop fucking around, it’s probably Tino or someone, can we just go?” I tried to hide the fact that I was nearly pissing myself with terror.

Austin stops and looks straight behind me. “Alan, there’s something behind you…”

“Austin. Seriously.” I could feel the tears building up behind my eyes. No, Alan, you’re not going to cry in front of Austin over something dumb like your fear of ghosts.

“Alan.”

I turn around. There’s nothing there. I turn around to look at Austin and he’s trying so hard not to laugh. “You’re such an ass.” I push him slightly.

“Damn, Ashby, I thought you were going to cry.” He laughs and keeps walking to a door labeled ‘maintenance’, he turns the handle and pushes it in. There was a small ladder leading up to an open hatch, I guess Phil was already up there. “Okay, I’m going to climb up there and give you a signal to follow me, just in case there’s an actual maintenance person up there, I can claim RA duty and we won’t get in trouble, okay?”

-=-

When I arrived on the roof, Phil was lying on the ground, a brunette girl was lying with her head on his stomach, they were passing a joint back and forth, two cans of beer sitting next to them. Some song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers was playing, but I couldn’t place it.

“Austin, you have contraband up here, what kind of RA are you?” I sit on the ground near Phil and his girlfriend and set my mac and cheese tub in front of me.

“A happy one?” He grabs two beers and a baggy from a backpack, I’m assuming it’s Phil’s, and hands me a can of beer. I hesitate and take it, setting it next to my tub. “You don’t drink?”

“Huh? No, I do.” That was only half a lie, when I turned 13 my parents starting letting me have a glass of champagne on New Year’s, and I had a full beer at a party once and threw it all up within an hour.

He laughs and sits down next to me and opens his beer.

-=-

Somehow I had drunk half of my beer, I wasn’t feeling sick, and I didn’t feel it rising in my throat. I was 90% sure that Phil and Anouk were asleep. Austin was on his second beer. We hadn’t really talked since we’ve been up here, just sat in a comfortable silence as we watched as the lights of the University pollute the sky surrounding Central Ohio.

“Hey, Alan?” I looked over to Austin who was opening the baggy he grabbed from Phil’s backpack.

“You smoke?”

“A little, mostly cigarettes.” I took a sip of my beer, if anything it was getting stronger.

He smiles and lights up. “Come here, I’ve always wanted to try this.” Deciding I have nothing to lose, I set my beer down and scoot closer to him. He inhales and holds it, leaning towards me. Before I know it his mouth is on mine, blowing smoke into my mouth. I hesitate for a moment before sucking the smoke in, and before I know it, it’s over and he’s looking at me. I cough a little bit and take a drink of my beer.


	5. five

I somehow woke up in my room on the floor. Vince was nowhere to be found, but there was a pillow under my head and a blanket near my feet. I had probably kicked it off sometime while I was passed out. I sat up and got on my hands and knees to crawl over to Vince’s chair to help me get up gradually, the feeling in my stomach told me that if I got up too fast I would probably throw up.

I finally got upright, using Vince’s desk as a support. There was a bottle of water and a bottle of Advil on the desk, along with a note.

_Alan-_  
I would highly suggest taking two of these and drinking all the water you can. I’ll come by around 11 to check on you.  
Xx Austin 

I did as the note said, two pills and some slow sips of water. I looked at the microwave clock, it was almost 11, I looked and felt like shit and Austin would be here any minute. I walked over to my desk to find my deodorant. I didn’t have time for a shower right now, and I probably smelt bad. I took a seat in my desk chair and sighed. I didn’t remember anything from last night after I finished my first beer. I remember Austin breathing smoke in my mouth, almost kissing me, and I remember Tino and Penelope bring more beer to the roof, that’s all, after that, my mind is blank. It’s a scary feeling.

I heard a knock on the door, a 3 second pause, then a key slide in the lock.

“Alan?” He was early, like 10 minutes early.

“Yeah?” My voice sounded horrible, like I had been smoking every single day for twenty years straight. I cleared my throat and took a drink of water.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He walked over my makeshift bed and over to me, bringing Vince’s chair with him.

“Terrible.” I rubbed my hands on my jeans.

“You look it.” He laughs and hands me my keys and phone. “I took your keys so I could come check on you. Hope you don’t mind.” I nod and take the objects from him and set him on my desk.

“And you took my phone why?”

“You left it on the roof, Tino found it when he was cleaning up so we charged it for you, your mom called like three hundred times.” He sets a brown bag on the desk.

“That sounds like her. What’s this?”

“I brought you some chicken noodle soup from my work; I thought it would be easy for you to get down.” He is the most perfect person I’ve ever met.

“You didn’t have to do that, thank you.” I sounded like a fucking frog. How can he drink and smoke so much and sound normal.

“It’s no problem.” He smiles and takes the bowl of soup and a plastic spoon out of the wrapping and sets it in front of me.

I was really hungry. I hadn’t eaten since about 10 last night when I had my mac and cheese. I opened the bowl and watched as the steam came pouring out. I dunked my spoon in and shoved it in my mouth. Pure heaven.

“How much did I drink last night?” I stirred the soup in the bowl, mixing the vegetables and chicken with the noodles.

Austin laughs. “You had one and half before you puked, and then you finished the second.”

I sighed. How embarrassing. “Oh.” I ate half a spoonful of soup. I wasn’t sure if it was going to stay down. I felt so rough and I started classes tomorrow. Why did I think that drinking would be a good idea? Who let me make my own decisions?

“I see Vince got his decal up.” Austin says looking over to his bed. I hadn’t noticed. I was too busy trying not to vomit all over the room. I looked over at it. It was bigger than I expected.

“I guess so. He’s so weird.”  
Austin smiles and gets up. “I have to go meet Shay for lunch, take it easy Ashby, you start classes tomorrow.” The only time I will ever be thankful for him going to see Shayley. I liked spending time with Austin, but this was kind of awkward and I didn’t feel well. Plus, I could vomit at any moment, and I didn’t want him to see that again.

“Yeah, thanks for the soup and everything.” I give a weak smile as he pull the chair back to Vince’s desk.

“Anytime. By the way, I put my number in your phone. Call me if you need me.” He closes the door quietly behind him.

+++++

Why did I come to college?

I was in my second class of the day, head still throbbing, body still aching, mind still stuck on how Austin went out of his way to bring me soup, which I had shamelessly finished for breakfast. It was almost 10:10 now and science started in tenish minutes. Austin suggested that I get it switched, but I didn’t feel like dealing with my advisor. She’s mean and knows the only reason I got in was because of my parents.

I chose a seat towards the back. My last class the teacher gave us a syllabus and sent us on our way and I was hoping that this class would be the same, but giving Austin’s description of the professor, that wouldn’t be likely. I nervously tapped my pen on my notebook. A couple of people I had seen Vince talking to early on my way to English were sitting in front. I hope I don’t have to work with them in labs, if environmental science even has labs. What if we have to dissect a cat?

“Alan?” I look up to see my new favorite redhead. Justin. Justin was going to be my saving grace in this class. Need a lab partner? Justin. Need a study buddy? Justin. He slides into the seat next to me.

“I’m so happy that you’re in this class. I was so afraid I was going to have to work with one of my roommate’s friends if we do labs in here. Do you think we do labs in here?”  
Justin looks at me, one eyebrow slightly raised. “I’m pretty sure we will. We did in high school, anyway.”

“You took this in high school?” My school offered the class, but let’s be real, I took what was required and after that I took what I thought would be easy.

“Yeah, it didn’t transfer over though; it wasn’t a CP class, so here I am.” And I was glad he was.

-=-

Homework. We had homework on the first day of classes. I sighed as I threw my notebook in my backpack.

“Alan?” I looked over at Justin. He already had his backpack on.

“Hm?” I stood up, shoving my phone in my pocket.

“You wanna work on this together after lunch? We can go to my room, Jake has football practice until 3, but only if you want to.”

The professor didn’t go over what we were talking about---population or something---and since Justin had taken this class, he could help me. “Sure. Can we go to lunch though? I’m starving.” And I wanted to see Austin.

-=-

The cafeteria didn’t have a lot of people in it, but Austin, Phil, Aaron, and Tino were in their normal seats. With an added guest, Shayley. I sighed, probably a little more dramatically than intended because Justin looked at me weird.

“Where do you want to sit?” Justin says looking around the room. There multiple open tables, we didn’t need to sit with Austin and his friends, and Shayley.

“I usually sit with Austin and his friends, but we don’t need to.”

“That’s fine.” This is not what I wanted, with Shayley being here, this was bound to be terrible. I walked over to the corner table where everyone was seated. Shayley looked up and rolled his eyes and grabbed Austin’s right hand from across the table. Jealous much?

“Alan! Hey!” Austin smiles and waves with his left hand.

“Hey.” I toss my backpack on the ground.

Austin looks at Justin. “Justin, right?” He questions. Justin nods and sets his backpack next to mine, a little more carefully.

-=-

“Feeling better, Eggs?” Tino asked me, I’m assuming he’s asking about Saturday.

“Yeah. Still a little achy but I’ll survive.” I moved the spaghetti around on my plate. This was so awkward; I could feel Shayley staring at me. Why can’t he eat lunch in his home on Troll Mountain?


	6. six

“Why do I sense tension between you and that Shayley guy?” Justin asked me as I slide my keycard to get entrance to Oak. I had finished my food quickly, then dragged Justin with me, even though he wasn’t quite done with his food.

“He just doesn’t like me. I haven’t really done anything to him, he just doesn’t like me.” I decided to leave out the whole guitar situation, because I’m fairly certain he didn’t like me before I started talking.

We walked through the door, passed the group of guys watching football on the big screen, and over to the elevator. Justin took a bite of his burger that he smuggled from the cafeteria and I pressed the up button. Normally I would take the stairs, but I wasn’t exactly feeling it today.

“From what I gather, he sounds like a pain in the ass.” Justin says as he presses the button with a bold, black, 2 printed on it.

-=-

I followed Justin to his room, through a similar door, except marked with North. His room was right next to Phil and Aaron’s, 202. He unlocked the door and I walked in after him. Their room was a lot bigger than Vince and mine. There was a set of bunk beds on the wall across from the door, I’m assuming the top bunk was Eric’s before he moved out, because they had a bunch of boxes and shit stored up there. There was a bed, only slightly lofted; high enough to put a dresser under it, just like Vince’s, near their closets.

Justin threw his backpack and half eaten cheeseburger on the bottom bunk. “I’ll be right back.” He walked out of the open door. I put my backpack on the bed next to his. His room was a lot messier than mine, but Vince and I were both somewhat neat people. I walked over to what I assumed was his desk; there was a corkboard above it a couple of pictures tacked to it. Him and his parents, him and who I’m assuming to be his brother, and a picture of him and some guy at what looked like prom. Hm. Could it be that my dear friend Justin was on my team?

“Hey sorry, nature called.” Justin said from the door.

“It’s fine.” I awkwardly stood where I was. Was I supposed to say something?

-=-

I was sitting on Justin’s bed, legs crossed, book in front of me, with my hand supporting my head. This was so boring, but having him explain K and R strategies was a lot better than having to read the chapter about it. I looked over to the door as it opened, a guy a little taller than Justin, but a lot more muscular, walked in. This must be Justin’s roommate.

“Hey Justin and Justin’s friend.” Justin looks up.

“Hi, Jake.” Justin goes back to scribbling something down in his notebook.

Jake goes over to his bed and plugs his phone into the charger and walks over to his closet.

“Justin, this is so boring, and it isn’t due until Wednesday, can we go do something else.” I was prepared to put on my best pouty face if my begging didn’t work.

He again, looked up from his notebook. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, what is there to do?” I closed my book.

“The baseball team is practicing, I’m sure that could be entertaining.” Yep, he’s definitely on team ‘I like boys.’

“Yeah, we could go see what’s going on over there.” I tried to sound like I wasn’t interested, but let’s be real; again, Austin is on the baseball team, teams usually do stretches and stuff before practice, right?

-=-

“Which one is your brother?” The guys were standing around the coach, all in black shorts and gray t shirts with their last names and numbers on them. I didn’t see ‘Trotta’ anywhere, so I asked.  
He points to the only ginger in the group. “That one, that’s Josh.”

“Right.” I felt dumb, of course his brother was the only redhead, I just looked at a picture of him.

“And Austin is right there.” He points three people down from Josh, Austin looked annoyed with whatever the coach was saying.

-=-

They didn’t even do anything. Practice was basically just them playing. No stretching, no real running, there wasn’t even butt slapping! Had I paid for this little outing, I would’ve demanded a refund.

“So what do you want to do now?” We had awkwardly sat there as the team went into the building connected to the baseball stadium. I sighed, it was close to three now.

“We could walk around campus, I guess? There isn’t a lot to do.”

-=-

We were walking towards Rodgers, a residence hall all the way across campus. I was going to have a time walking back. I was still achy all over.

_“I just don’t know why feel like you have to keep him under your wing, Austin.”_ My ears perked up. I knew that voice. I grabbed Justin’s wrist and dragged him behind these huge, conveniently placed bushes next to a statue of Evan Rodgers, the guy who donated money to the school, and hunched down.

“Alan, what the fu--”

“Shh!” I held up my index finger. He gave me a confused look. I turned my attention back to the main path in front of the statue. Austin and Shayley came into view. Funny how Shayley didn’t want to hold Austin’s hand now that no one was around to see it.

Austin stops and looks at Shayley. _“I don’t, Shay. He’s my friend, if you’d get to know him instead of giving him dirty looks all the time, you could see how awesome he is.”_

Shayley gives him one of those famous Shayley scowls. “He’s like, in love with you. I don’t want to know him.” Someone's got a case of jealously.

Austin laughs; he has such a cute laugh. _“Alan is not in love with me, Shay.”_ **Alan.** That's me. 

That’s me, I’m Alan. They were talking about me. I heard Justin suck air in behind me.

_“Yes he is! Austin, trust me. He’s always looking at you with these ridiculous puppy eyes.”_ Shayley scoffs and kicks a rock a few feet away. Did I really give him puppy eyes?

Austin sighs and grabs Shayley’s hand. _“Even if he was in love with me; I don’t feel that way about him, Shay.”_ Austin lifts Shayley’s hand up to his mouth and places a kiss on it. I felt my heart sink. I wasn’t sure why I even thought that maybe Austin would like me in that way. I felt Justin place his hand on my right shoulder, as if that was going to comfort me.

+++

Justin walked me back to the dorm, even though I insisted that it wasn’t necessary, he just shrugged and told that me that he had to walk that way anyway.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I had managed to kick off my shoes and climb up into my bed even though I felt like absolute shit. Justin looked at me from the ground.

“Yeah, Justin I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch, okay?” The truth was that I wasn’t fine. The first guy I had liked since my junior year in high school basically just took a shit all over me. I couldn’t exactly blame him for not falling head over heels for me like I had done for him, but I could blame him for being with Shayley.

Justin nods and runs his left hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He forces a smile and lets himself out.

I pull my knees up my chest and stare at powered off TV, the remote in Vince’s bed. It wasn’t even worth trying to get down, only to aimlessly flip through the endless amount of shitty channels, never to find anything of substance on. Maybe I was being dramatic, but when someone practically kisses you on a roof top, it’s safe to assume that they like you, right? When someone repeatedly goes out of their way to be nice to you, brings you soup when you have a hangover, makes sure you don’t eat lunch alone, they like you right? And as more than just a friend? I could feel the tears behind my eyes, but this time they weren’t because Austin was telling me there was some ghost behind me, this time they were caused by actual sadness. It was only into my first real day of college and my heart was broken.

-=-

It was close to 8 now; I had fallen asleep and missed dinner. I was starting to feel the chicken nuggets I had for lunch wear off. I needed something to eat. I climbed off my bed and found my phone on my desk. Seven missed calls. Two from Austin, five from my mom. I hadn’t even heard my phone go off, but I wasn’t about to call either of them. Two new texts messages, both from Austin. Great.

_6:32 - are you coming to dinner? I knocked on your door and no one answered?_

_7:01 - I guess you’re not coming to dinner? Such a shame, they had cupcakes. Sorry I called you, I got worried._

I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone a little harder than I intended. I walked over to my fridge and got out one of the microwave meals my mom had bought when she was here. She’d know what to say if she was here. But I really didn’t feel like crying again, so that would be a phone call for another day. I’d probably text her later, wouldn’t want to worry her.

I tore the lid off halfway and threw it in the microwave, pressing the 2 to make it go for 2 minutes.

“Alan?” I heard come from outside of the door along with a knock. It was Austin. I sighed. Literally the last person I wanted to see right now. I couldn’t pretend to not be here, he could probably hear my microwave out in the main hallway.

I walked over to the door, took a deep breath, and opened it, but only enough for me to see him.

“What?” It came out a little ruder than I intended, some day I’m having. He deserved it though.

“Well hello to you, too.” He leans against the wall next to our door and looks at me. “Have you been crying?”

Shit. “No?” I hear the microwave go off.

“Alan, you can talk to me about it, that’s what I’m here for.” He smiles.

Think Alan, think.“Um, it’s just my goldfish died, my mom called and told me, I was so upset, I fell asleep crying.” It was a terrible lie, but maybe he would believe it and get off my case, and then leave.

“That’s terrible, Alan. I’m sorry about that. Is that why you weren't at dinner?” I couldn't tell if he believed me or not.

Why did he care so much that I wasn’t at dinner? “Yeah, I fell asleep.” I happen to look up and see Justin walking over to the door, my backpack in his hands. I totally forgot about homework.

“Um, hey Austin?” Justin gives me a quizzical look.

“Hey, Justin. Well, I’m going to go do some paperwork. See you guys later. Bye Alan, sorry about your goldfish.” Austin turns and walks towards his dorm. I grab Justin and pull him into my room and close the door.

“Your goldfish? Nice one.” Justin rolls his eyes.

“I had to get him to leave.” I go over the microwave and pull the cover off my food, mix it around and shove it in the microwave for another 2 minutes.

“And the best you could come up with is that you were so distraught over your fish dying that you cried yourself to sleep? Only an idiot would believe that.” Justin leans against my desk after setting my backpack on it.

“What was I supposed to say? That I heard him say he doesn’t like me the way that I like him and I cried myself to sleep like the pathetic college freshman that I am?” I sighed and grabbed a paper bowl from the pile of eating utensils lying on our microwave.

Justin sighs. "Alan you aren't pathetic. Everyone has moments like this, just calm down."

-=-

“I was just so convinced that he liked me, you know? Everything pointed to it.” I was leaning against my pillows on my bed, bowl of pasta in my lap, Justin sitting across from me, on my bed. If my mom was here, she’d flip out.

“You’re too hard on yourself, Alan. It was perfectly logically to think that he liked you as more than a friend.” Justin shrugged. I was so lucky to have him. Someone remind me to give Vince a hug whenever I see him next for making me do laundry that one night.


	7. seven

I really didn’t want to get out of bed, had it been later in the semester, maybe I could tell myself that I could take a day off, but it’s barely been two weeks, and in that two weeks I’ve done everything imaginable to steer clear of Austin, and that included spending most of days in Justin’s room watching him play video games and smoke weed.

Vince was already gone; he had been in and out of the room a lot, probably spending time with Shawna. They had become an item over the past couple of days. At least one of us is in a relationship.

I lowered myself off the bed, onto the dresser, onto the floor. I grabbed my phone off the dresser where it had been charging. Three new messages.

4:54 – _i know ur sleepin but jake has a girl over rn he’s tryin to do the dirty im laughin so hard. I am also high?_

8:12 – _hey im going to come to your room to walk you to class instead of you coming over here ok. That girl is still over here like so awkward i guess he got in in because theres clothes on the ground how did i sleep through that lmao ___

__8:30 – _im early but im at your door, open up, ass. I don’t want to wake up vince because he’s scary.__ _

__I walked over to my door and unlocked it, opening it only a little bit so he could come in._ _

__“It’s about time, I’ve been out there for like ten minutes. Whoa, where are your pants?” Since it was now October, the mornings had gotten colder, which explained Justin’s jacket._ _

__“I just woke up.” I walked over to my dresser and started picking out clothes._ _

__“Do you have any food?”_ _

__“Yeah, you know where everything is.” I excused myself to the bathroom as Justin started going through my drawers of food. I guess he was still suffering from the munchies, just like he was every Thursday, because he spent his Wednesdays smoking since he didn’t have class, and surprisingly, while high, he could still help me with my math homework._ _

__I closed the door behind me and started walking to the bathroom, clothes in hand, and that’s when I saw him. Austin. Coming out of the bathroom with only a black towel wrapped loosely around his hips, tattoos glistening thanks to the shitty dorm light mixing with the water he hadn’t completely wiped off his slightly tanned skin._ _

__“Alan! Hey!” He stops so he can talk to me. No, this is the opposite of what I needed right now._ _

__“Erm, hey Austin.”_ _

__“I haven’t seen you in while, everything okay?” He runs his hand through his hair, making it stick up only a little bit._ _

__“Yeah, I’ve just been focusing on my studies and hanging out with Trotta.”_ _

__He nods. “That’s good.”_ _

__“Yeah…”_ _

__“Well my awkward meter is full so I’ll see you around?” He smiles and I almost die._ _

__I nod. He walks back towards his room and I go into the restroom to change and brush my teeth._ _

__=-=_ _

__“So he was just in his towel talking to you? Why are you so upset about that?” Justin shrugged and took a drink of his smoothie from the counter in the lobby. I had gotten coffee. I had to wake up somehow._ _

__“Did you totally forget about the whole ‘he doesn’t like me’ thing? Maybe you should calm it with the weed.”_ _

__He rolls his eyes. “No I didn’t forget, how could I? But you can still look.”_ _

__“Why would I look at something I can’t have though?” I sighed and followed Justin into the Science building; we had a test today that I forgot to study for._ _

__“You are so dramatic, I know you’re undecided on a major, but maybe you should try theatre.”_ _

__-=-_ _

__Justin had gotten done with his test before me, which we both knew he would because he had already taken this class. He was sitting on the brick barrier holding back the three foot pile of dirt that the biology kids grew plants in, smoking a cigarette._ _

__“I totally bombed that.”_ _

__“I’m sure you did fine.” Justin said hopping off the barrier. “Wanna go somewhere with me tomorrow?”_ _

__“Um, where?” I had only been in a car with Justin once, and I swore it would be the last time, unless I ran out of cinnamon toast crunch again. He may be the smartest person I know, but he can’t drive._ _

__“Boyfriend’s bands coming like half an hour away, I’m going to go see him. I thought maybe you’d want to come, get your mind off of Austin.” Ah, yes. The mysterious boyfriend. I had seen one picture of him, the one in his room. The things I know about him? His name is Jon, he’s a year older than Justin, he’s in a band, and they’re in an ‘open’ relationship because of the touring._ _

__“I guess it would be nice to get off campus.” And I wanted to meet this kid._ _

__Justin snorts and takes a drag of his cigarette. “Exactly, it’ll get you out of your depressed state, which everyone needs, not just me.”_ _

__+++++_ _

__“Justin slow down, the speed limit is 65.” I grabbed onto the door._ _

__“I’m only going 80, we’re almost there anyway.” Only._ _

__I wasn’t exactly sure where we were, since I’m not from here. Justin told me that he used to come to this side of town to see shows all of the time before they added a newer, nicer, venue across town where he lives, apparently only tiny, local bands play at this venue now. I can see why, this whole side of town is extremely sketchy, especially now that it was close to 5, starting to get dark.  
Justin pulls into a parking lot in front of a building painted black with various neon colored shapes painted on it. There was an alley in between the black building and some sketchy looking store._ _

__“Come on.” Justin cuts the engine and opens his door. He presses the lock button and shoves the keys in his pocket. I follow him through the alley._ _

__“Justin!” A tall guy with blondish hair runs over to Justin and hugs him. “I missed you so much.” This must be Jon._ _

__-=-_ _

__I sighed and walked into the building. I had walked around the building at least three times; I had no idea where Justin was. One minute he was standing next to me, the next he was gone. He wasn’t answering his phone; there were only so many places I could look._ _

__I walked over to the bar; all of that walking around had made me thirsty. I ordered a bottle of water; the guy went into the room attached to the bar to get it._ _

__“Alan?”_ _

__“Justin?” I turned around. It wasn’t Justin. It was Austin, of all the people it could’ve been, it just had to be Austin, the person I was trying to get away from. “Oh, it’s you.”_ _

__“What are you doing here?” Austin asks. The guy returned with my water, I grabbed it and shoved an extra dollar in the tip jar; I scooted over so Austin could order. Austin orders 6 bottles of beer and a bottle of water. I bet the guys must be with him._ _

__“Justin’s boyfriend is playing tonight, they’re like second on, I think. What about you?” Austin hands the guy his ID._ _

__“Oh, nice. Aaron’s band is playing tonight, we also know the headliners.” He shrugs and takes his ID back from the guy and hands him his credit card._ _

__I nod and watch the guy set 6 bottles of Budweiser on the counter and walks back into the room, Austin also shoves a couple of crinkled bills in the jar._ _

__“Hey, can you give me a hand with these?” He asks holding out three bottles to me._ _

__“Yeah, no problem.” How did I get roped into this? At least I don’t have to awkwardly stand in the corner waiting for Justin to reappear. The guy sets the water on the counter and Austin grabs it along with the other three beers. I follow him to a booth in the corner. I was right, Tino, Penelope, Phil, Anouk, and some other girl I didn’t know were all here. At least Shayley wasn’t here._ _

__“Deviled egg! It has been forever since I saw your little ginger self around.” Tino exclaims from his spot in between Phil and Penelope. Austin sets the beers on the table and hands the water to the girl I don’t know._ _

__“Yeah,” I nodded. “Well, I have to go find Justin, so I’ll see you all later.” I bet the three beers I was holding next to the ones Austin had set down._ _

__“Wait, Alan, you can’t leave yet!” Austin says grabbing a beer and shoving it in my hand._ _

__“Austin, I really can’t stay, I have to find Justin, besides you’re here with your friends…”_ _

__“Just sit down, Ashby.” Phil says, and that’s when I slid into the booth next to Austin._ _

__-=-_ _

__Tino and Penelope had gone up to the bar to get another round of beers. I had given my first beer back to Austin, telling him that I wasn’t really feeling it. He just nodded and took it. I remained quiet nearly the whole time, I learned that the mysterious girl was Aaron’s girlfriend, she seemed very nice, but I wasn’t surprised, Aaron’s a nice guy._ _

__“Well, I have to go look for Justin, so I’ll see you guys later.” I really only said it to Amanda and Austin, Phil and Anouk were too busy making eyes at each other._ _

__“Alan, actually, before you go, can I talk to you?” Austin scoots to the edge of the booth and looks at me._ _

__-=-_ _

__We walked outside, Austin bringing my discarded beer with him. He walked over to the alley, walking halfway down and stopping. I leaned against the wall and looked at him. “What did you want to talk to me about?” I zipped my hoodie up a little more._ _

__He sighs and leans against the wall to the shady store. I could barely see his face, there were only two lights in the alley, and they were a ways away._ _

__“I know you’ve been avoiding me,” He runs his hand through his hair with this free hand. “I wanna know why, I guess. I mean, if I did something to upset you, I want to apologize, because I’m certain I didn’t mean to do it.”_ _

__“I just, I don’t know Austin.” I shove my hands in my pockets and then take them out right after, I was nervous._ _

__“What do you mean you don’t know?” Austin snorts. “I either did something to really piss you off, or I’m going fucking crazy.” He takes a drink. “Please tell me I’m not going crazy, I’m only 20.”_ _

__I could just tell him what I heard. The truth is supposed to set you free. I sighed and scratched the back of my head. “Promise you won’t be mad.”_ _

__He looks at me for a minute. “Okay?”_ _

__“I heard you talking to Shayley the other day, in front of Rodgers, when he telling you that I was in love with you and made puppy eyes at you all the time.”_ _

__“And that’s why you’ve been avoiding me?” He looks at me with a confused look._ _

__“No, I’m not done. During that conversation, you told Shayley that you didn’t like me in that way.”_ _

__He nods. “But you do like me that way.”_ _

__I look down and kick around an empty beer can with my foot._ _

__“Fuck. Alan. I don’t know what to say.”_ _

__I nod. “I’m going to go find Justin. I’ll see you later.” I walked back the way we came. I heard Austin cussing under his breath and kicking the dumpster next to where we were standing. Truthfully, I didn’t know what to make of it. I was just glad he knew, I guess. It didn’t go exactly the way I was hoping, I guess I wanted Austin to jump up and down yelling He likes me back! He likes me back! and we would run off into grungy, polluted, Ohio, next stop New York to get married._ _


	8. eight

I made myself comfortable in a booth across the venue from Austin and friends. I really didn’t want to see him at this point, plus I needed to find Justin, I just wanted to leave.

I took my phone and tried to call him again.

_“Um, hey this is Justin, I’m either doing something or ignoring you. You can leave a message, but I probably won’t listen to it.”_

I sighed and hung up. I’m going to punch him when I see him next. How could he just leave me in a foreign area and then not pick up his phone? I hope the sex is worth it.

The lights started to go down and everyone started yelling. From my booth I could see the stage. Austin and everyone had left their booth; I could see them near the stage. I guess Aaron’s band was on first.

-=-

Aaron’s band was really good; I didn’t even know he could sing, honestly. If what Justin told me was right, then his boyfriend’s band was coming on next, he should be coming to find me soon. I checked my phone for the eighth time, only a call from mom. I might as well call her. I got up from my booth and walked back outside. It was getting colder.

I dialed her number, three rings later she picked up. “Sweetie!” She exclaims.

“Hi, mom.” I could hear the other band checking their instruments inside.

“Where are you?” She sounded concerned.

“At this club, um, Barney’s? Justin’s boyfriend’s band is playing tonight.” I watch as people outside meet up with their friends, laughing and talking.

“Oh, honey, that’s still running? That was there when I went there!”

She began to say something else, but I cut her off. “Yeah, mom I’ll talk to you later, my phone is near death, love you, bye.” My phone wasn’t about to die, but she would just go on and on, so I had to stop that before it began.

I leaned against the wall; I looked up so I could see the gross underside of the overlap. I really needed a cigarette or something.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen your pretty face around here before.” I looked down. There was a guy, heavily tattooed with a slight beard looking at me.

“Uh?” I was so confused.

“What’s your name?” He steps a little closer to me, I could see his face better now. He wasn’t bad looking, in fact, he was attractive.

“Alan.”

“Alan. Hm.” He stops and looks at me. “Alan.”

“Yep.” I shoved my hands into my pockets, this time keeping them there.

“My name’s Jerry. Where are you from, Alan? Because they don’t make them like you around here.” I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or creeped out, or both. No one had ever talked to me like that, granted I didn’t go to shady clubs in sketchy neighborhoods, my parents would never allow that.

“Um, erm, I’m from California.”

He nods. “Can I buy you a drink Alan from California?” He was even closer now, our shoes were almost touching.

“Oh, um, thanks for the offer, but I don’t really drink beer. It makes me queasy.”

“What about mixed drinks? Can you handle those?”

He was extremely adamant about buying me a drink. “Um, I guess I could try it?”

-=-

I was on my third drink, I could barely taste the alcohol, they just tasted like juice or something. Austin was out of my mind completely and I was barely thinking about Justin’s whereabouts.  
Jerry and I were back outside, this time in the alley, I didn’t exactly know what he just said, but he was smiling.

“Hmmm?” I held my clear plastic cup to my lips, taking another drink.

He smiles again. “I said I want to kiss you.”

“Oh, Jerry, no you—“ I stopped to hiccup. “don’t.”  
“And why’s that Alan from California?” He’s extremely close to me, right hand pressed against the brick wall I’m leaning on.

“I’m a mess.” I shoot down the rest of my drink and throw the cup on the ground.

“Doubt it.” He smirks. “You really shouldn’t litter, you know.”

“Mmm, no, I am.” I reach out and grab his shirt, pulling him closer to me. I wasn’t exactly sure what I doing, but it felt good having someone that close to me.

He laughs and brings his left hand to my hip, he starts rubbing his thumb right where you can feel the top of my pelvic bone. It felt weird and good at the same time. The right hand that was on the wall was now behind my head and he dipped down and pressed his lips to mine.

He tasted like Budweiser and menthol; I wonder what I tasted like to him? He tilted his head to the right, I felt his beard tickle my cheek, it felt weird, so I smiled, he slid his tongue in my mouth, more bursts of menthol, I kind of liked it. I let go of his shirt with my left and moved it behind his head, bringing him a little bit closer, as much as I could. In response he took his right hand down to the hem of my hoodie, playing with it before sliding it behind me and grabbing my ass. Jerry pulls his tongue out of my mouth and moves down to my neck kissing it slowly, dragging his tongue up and down near my collar bone, adding tiny bites every few seconds. It really did feel good.

“Alan?” I heard towards the opening in the alley, only a few feet away. Justin? Or maybe I was hallucinating because of the alcohol. I couldn’t see him, only hear him. I started pulling away from Jerry’s grasp.

“What’s wrong?” He looks at me.

“I think my friend is looking for me, I mean I just heard him.” Jerry backs up, but not a lot, his hand was still on my hip.

“Are you sure it’s him?” He bites his lip, they were swollen and red, mine probably looked the same.  
I nodded and grabbed my phone out of my pocket. Four missed calls and twenty new texts, all from Justin.

'alley' was the only thing i was able to get out, and I'm not even sure if it said alley

“Oh. So you’re leaving then?” He looked, almost upset.

I lick my lips. “Probably.”

“Can I at least have your number then?” He takes his hand off my hip and touches my face.

I close my eyes. From what I’ve experienced, he was a nice guy. Besides, it’s just my number, not my address.

“Alan!” I hear Justin call and open my eyes, Jerry was looking me.  
“Down here, Justin.” I call back. I turn to Jerry. “Yeah.” I watch him take out his phone and I recite my number to him.

“Alan I am so sorry I just left you.” He throws his arms around me.

-=-

It turns out that while making out with Jerry in a shady alley, I missed Justin’s boyfriend’s set. We were sitting in a booth, near where Austin and his friends were sitting earlier. Austin.

“So…” He looks at me with a knowing look, like he knows I almost had sex with random stranger.

“I know you’re going to ask me about Jerry, so just do it.” Justin had made me drink a bunch of water and take some asprin that he got from Jon's van, at least I could think now.

“Actually, I wasn’t. I was going to ask you what happened between you and Austin.”

+++++

I was lying on Justin’s bed, Vince and his friends were playing their game again so I left. Surprisingly, I wasn’t as hungover as I thought I would be, maybe it was the water, Advil, and slaps in the face Justin gave me last night.

“So, are you going to talk to Austin?"

After I told Justin what had happened with the alley, he had suggested that maybe I talk to him.

“I don’t know. I mean, I want to, but then I don’t.” I sighed and rolled over onto my stomach so I could see Justin through the gaps on the wooden supports holding up the top bunk.

“Because you’re afraid he’s going to tell you that it’s never going to happen.” Justin writes an equation on the piece of paper in front of him.

“Basically, but then there’s a chance that maybe he does like me, it’s very small, but there’s a chance.” I felt my phone buzz and grabbed it. Jerry.

_When do I get see u again Cali? ;)_ I exited out of iMessage and set my phone down. I didn’t even know if I wanted to see Jerry again. Justin always knows, maybe I should ask him what he thinks.

“I mean, you’ll never know unless you do.” He had a point, but I didn’t want to hear about it. Maybe Austin would ask to talk to me again and then I wouldn’t have to initiate it.

“I don’t really want to talk about Austin right now.”

“Jerry just texted you, didn’t he?” Justin asks as he types something into his calculator.

“Yes. He wants to know when he can see me.” I bit my lip.

“Do you even want to see him again? Just because you made out with him in an alley while you were drunk doesn’t bind you to him, Alan.”

“I mean, I don’t know. He seemed nice. Maybe it’d get my mind off Austin.”

Justin sighs. “I just, I don’t know about this guy, Alan. I get a weird vibe from him, you know? All you know about him is his name.”

“Isn’t the point of going out with someone to get to know them? I think I will, one date won’t hurt.”

“I suppose. I mean, no matter what you do, as your friend and closest confidant, I’m going to back you on it, even if I disagree.” He shrugs and looks at me.

“Aw, thanks Jus.” I blow him a kiss and he catches it, pressing it to his cheek.

-=-

Jerry suggested that we meet at the commons building since it would be easier. I was glad because I didn’t exactly wanting him to know which hall I lived in. It was starting to get chilly since it was getting closer to 5. I watched as a bright yellow Aveo pulls up, Jerry in the driver’s seat.

I walk over and open the passenger door and get in.

“How you feelin’ Cali?” Jerry asks as he pulls out of the parking lot.

“Okay. You?” I respond quietly. This was way more awkward than I thought.

“I’m good now.” I give him a weak smile.

-=-

He pulls into a small parking lot after we drive for about five minutes. I open my door and get out walking around the front to meet up with Jerry. There was a sign on the side of the building _Thomas’ Bakery_ with an arrow pointing around the corner. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

When we got to the door, Jerry held it open for me. I said a quiet thanks and walked through. It smelled so good, definitely beat the cafeteria smell. I looked at the board hanging above the counter with all of the items they sold, the cashier person staring at me, they had a little bit of flour on their face and that’s when it hit me: Austin works here.

“Fuck.” I whispered.

Jerry looks at me. “Is something wrong?”

I bit my lip. What are the chances of him working tonight, anyway? “It just smells really good in here.” At least it wasn't a full lie.

Jerry laughs.

-=-

Jerry had found us a table in the back corner. He told me about growing up in Virginia and moving to Ohio after traveling for a while because it just seemed to call to him. He told that works as a bartender in a bar not too far from Barney’s. He also told me was 24. Six years older than me, so imagine how dumb I felt when I had to tell him dumb high school stories. At least he found some of them funny.

When we finished we threw our trash in the can and started out the door.

“Alan? Why do I keep running into you?” I turned around to Austin putting a tray of donuts in their place in the glass case connected to the counter.


	9. nine

I didn’t have time to answer Austin’s question. “Jerry? What the fuck?” Austin has a confused look on his face and Jerry laughs.

“Well if isn’t the great Austin Carlile.” Jerry says sarcastically. Austin’s expressions turns from confused to angry in about ten seconds.

“What the fuck is your shady ass doing down here?” Austin unties his apron, lays it on a chair behind the counter, and walks around the counter. He comes about a foot away from Jerry and me.

“Cali and I are on a date.” Jerry smirks.

Austin looks at me, his eyes were doing something I’d never noticed before, they were almost covered in sadness, maybe even fear. I looked down at my shoes. This is not how I wanted this to go.

Austin leans in super close to Jerry. “I thought I told you, if I ever saw your sorry ass around here, I would beat you so far into the ground you wouldn’t need a burial.”

Jerry laughs and pushes him back. “Austin, Austin, Austin. I appreciate the offer, but, like I said, I’m on a date, so if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to continue, and you can go back to icing cakes. Good day.” Jerry grabs my hand and I’m pretty much forced to go with him out the door.

“I’m really sorry about that, Alan. Some people just don’t know how to let go of things.” Jerry says as we walk to his car.

“What do you mean?” I stop walking when we’re almost to the corner near the big arrow.

Jerry stops and sighs. “Austin and I go back a couple of years, he doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. That’s it.”

“But why don’t you like each other?” I let go of his hand. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere until I knew the story.

“Alan, it was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter.”

“Jerry, he told you he was going to beat you up. It does matter.”

“I used to see that Shayley guy he’s with. Austin blames me for his alcoholism and depression, but he was already that way when I met him. When I ended it with Shay, he tried to jump off a building or something stupid and Austin talked him out of it, I don’t know. But Austin thinks I’m responsible for Shayley’s stupidity, so he hates me.”

“Oh.” It does explain a lot, I guess. With Austin being so attached to Shayley, even though Tino says they aren’t officially together.

-=-

“I get to see you again, right?” Jerry had pulled in one of the common building’s parking spaces.

I bit my lip. “We’ll see.” I opened the door and started to get out.

“Alan, wait.” I turned to him, my legs halfway out of the car. “I want you to know that the whole Shayley thing, it has nothing do with…” he stops, thinking. “this, us.” He uses his pointer finger to motion between the two of us. “Shay is just, he has a lot of problems and I had nothing to do with it, okay?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

He smiles. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Okay.” I got out of the car and waved as he backed out of the spot and drove to the main entrance of the school.

-=-

The first place I went when I got back to Oak was Justin’s room. He was sitting on his bed playing some video game when I opened the door.

“Did you have fun?” I sat on his bed next to him.

“No, but it wasn’t because of Jerry.” He paused his game and I kicked my shoes off.

“What? Details, now.”

“Well, we went to this bakery just outside of campus, the one that Austin works at, and I didn’t realize it was until we got in there, so I couldn’t just tell Jerry we had to leave. Everything went fine though, we ordered, Jerry paid, and then we went and talked in the corner while we ate.”

“Don’t stop, come on, Alan.”

I sighed. “So then when we were leaving, guess who is fucking putting donuts in the case? Austin. He asks me how he keeps running into me, but I didn’t get to answer because he saw Jerry.”

“What, did they fight?” Justin’s eyes get wide.

“Almost. Austin came around from the counter was like _‘I thought I told you if I ever saw you around here I would beat your ass so far into the ground you wouldn’t need a burial_ ’ and got into his face. Jerry just pushed him out of the way and dragged me out of the bakery, and I made him tell me why they don’t like each other.”

“And I know you’re going to tell Justin.”

I turn to face him, sitting Indian style. “I’m about to drop a bombshell on you, are you ready?”

“I was born ready, Ashby. I live for this stuff.”

“Jerry used to, as he put it, see Shayl---“

“What?” Justin nearly yells.

“It gets better. Apparently when Jerry ended it with Shayley, who was or is, I don’t know a depressed alcoholic, Shayley tried to kill himself—“ I was cut off again by Justin’s exclamations of ‘what’ and ‘what bout Austin’ and ‘do you believe him?’

“Justin, dammit, I’m not finished yet.” I sighed and he put his left hand over his mouth. "Apparently Austin talked him out of it or something. That’s what Jerry said anyway, and that’s why Austin doesn’t like Jerry. Okay, I’m done now.”

“Fuck.” Justin says once he takes his hand off his mouth. “What are you going to do? About Jerry, are you still going to see him?”

“See that’s the thing, when I was getting out of the car he told me that the whole Shayley incident had nothing to do with us. I’m still confused about the whole thing.

Justin sighs and looks at me. “I don’t know, Alan. Maybe you should talk to Austin, get this side of the story, see where they match up, you know? Who are you going to trust more, Austin who has shown you that’s reliable and caring, or Jerry who you just met and tried to get in your pants within in an hour of knowing you?”

+++++

Justin got a call from Jon so I decided to go see if Austin was in his room. Justin was right; I needed to talk to him. Not just about the whole Shayley thing, not just about the alley, but in general. I missed talking to him.

I knocked on Austin and Tino’s door, I wasn’t sure if he would be back from work yet or not, it was close to 9, but you never know.

“Hey, Alan.” Tino was at the door. He didn’t look too happy.

“Is Austin here? I need to talk to him.” I bit my lip.

“Yeah, I think you do. Come on in.” Tino walks over to his bed and grabs his phone. Austin was sitting in his desk chair, probably doing homework. There was a brown bag with _Thomas’ Bakery_ printed on the side on top of their microwave, next to Austin’s desk. They had moved stuff around since the last time I was in here.

“Austin, Alan’s here. Text me if you need me, I’m going to Pen’s room.” He grabs his keys and Austin nods.

I hear the door close and I awkwardly stand next to Tino’s desk, not sure if I should talk first.

“What did you need, Alan?” He puts his pen down and turns to look at me.

“I wanted to talk to you about earlier, and not just Jerry thing, but the alley thing, too.”

He runs his hands over his face, sighing. “Sit down.” I walk over to his bed and sit on the edge. I wasn’t sure if Tino would want me to sit in his chair or not. Austin swivels his chair to face the bed. We didn’t have swivel chairs. It must be an RA perk or something.

“I guess it’ll be easier to start with earlier. I don’t know what Jerry told you, so I’m just going to give a quick gist, okay?”

I nod.

“Basically, Shay has an addictive personality, everyone knows it. Jerry knew it when they started seeing each other, but Jerry would still get him liquored up. He could get Shay all the alcohol he wanted because he was of age. So Jerry basically fed his addiction, knowing that Shayley was reliant on it. Then Jerry got bored with Shayley because he was at his lowest point, he didn’t go to class, he almost got kicked out of school, he could no longer function without alcohol.” Austin stops.

I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there.

“But, like I said, Jerry got bored and kicked him to the curb. Shayley no longer had the immediate access to alcohol like he had when he was Jerry. So, Shayley sunk deeper into depression, until he tried to hang himself. His roommate luckily walked in just in time.” Austin and Jerry's stories seemed to be similar, except Jerry swears he has nothing to do with Shayley's addiction, and Austin swears that Jerry does.

“That’s really sad.” I suddenly felt bad for him.

“Yeah, all of his friends stopped talking to him, except me, and I helped him get through most of his alcoholism, I mean, he still struggles with it, but not as much as before.”

Again, I didn’t know what to say. I bit my lip.

“How did you even meet him?” I assumed he was talking about Jerry.

“After the alley situation I was standing outside the venue and he just walked up and started talking to me. I felt really stupid and alone so I talked back.”

Austin pinches the bridge of his nose. “We need to talk about the alley, too, Alan.”

I nod.

He sighs. “Alan. Those feelings are there, I do feel _something_ for you.”

“Wait, you like me? Like _that_?” Shocked wasn’t even the right word.

“Yeah, but, I can’t act on it, Alan. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.”

I felt my heart sink. It was like the time my mom took me to a pet shelter and then told me I couldn’t have a cat. “Why?” I could feel the tears start to sting at the corner of my eyes. Austin runs his hand through his hair and gets up and walks over to his bed, sitting next to me.

“Alan, I’m with Shay. You know that, I can’t just leave him.”

I didn’t get it. Yeah, Shay’s story was tragic, but obviously if Austin likes someone else, more specifically, me, why can’t he just tell Shay it’s over. I mean it’s not like they were actually dating anyway, at least according to Tino.

I get up, I wasn’t about to cry in front of Austin. He grabs my wrist. “Alan, please don’t be mad at me.”


	10. ten

It had been three weeks since Austin told me he liked me.

Justin’s boyfriend had finished tour in that three weeks, so Justin was always with him, they were back to having a closed relationship. Justin was over the moon, and I was happy for him, even if it meant we didn’t hang out as much.

Austin and I were talking again. I ate lunch with him and his friends, along with Justin when he was at school. It was weird, it almost felt like Austin and I had never had drama or whatever. He went right back to normal.

And then of course, there’s Jerry, whose bed I had woken up in several times in the past three weeks. Austin and Justin had no idea I was seeing him still, and honestly, I was hoping to keep it that way. The way I saw it, Jerry had been nothing but nice to me, so he deserved a fair chance. But if either of them knew, they would flip out.

“Hello, Alan?” I see a French fry come extremely close to my face, I flinched. Austin starts laughing.

“Hilarious.” It was just Austin and I at lunch. Tino was with Penelope, Phil was working on organizing a floor party (Austin said that he usually just lets Phil do those because he’s terrible at it) and I had no idea where Aaron was.

“You were starting to creep me out.” He shrugs and takes another French Fry off his plate and bites it.

“I was just thinking.”

“’Bout what?”

“How lame Thanksgiving break is going to be.”

“You’re not going home?” He asks, stunned.

“Um, no. It’s only five days. I would spend most of it in various airports. Justin’s family is going to Pennsylvania or something. So, I’ll be here.”

Austin looks at me for a minute. “No, as your friend, I can’t allow you to stay here for Thanksgiving break, you’re coming home with me.”

Before I could say anything Austin got up and started taking his tray up to the trashcan.

-=-

I opened Justin’s door. I don’t even bothering knocking anymore. When he’s in the room, it’s unlocked.

“Hey Alan.” Justin says from his bed.

“Where’s Jon?”

He shrugs. “Probably doing something stupid. I have a test to study for all weekend, so I told him to leave me alone.”

“Do you want me to go?” I ask. I hadn’t even walked halfway into his room.

“No, you don’t try to fuck me every five seconds.” He sighs.

“Wow, Justin, that must be so difficult for you.”

“It is, he’s just _so_ good at it, Alan. It’s like I’m trying to study and he’s just like let me fu---”

I cut him off. “I got it, thanks.”

“We need to get you a boyfriend, Alan. Now that you’ve dumped that Jerry loser.”

I sighed. “Because there’s such a huge selection of quality guys here.” It kind of hurt what Justin said about Jerry. He didn’t even know him. Not that I really knew Jerry in the way I knew Justin or Austin, or even Vince, but I still knew he wasn’t as bad as everyone made him out to be.

Justin sat up. “Let’s go to Bummer’s!”

“What is that, I don’t like the sound of it.”

“Oh, no, Alan. You’re going to love it. It’s this gay club right outside of town."

“Because a gay club is where I want to meet a boyfriend.” Honestly, I just didn’t want to go. Even though Jerry and I weren’t together I would still feel bad hooking up with someone.

“Not every gay club is full of weird people like on _Queer as Folk_ , Alan. There’s a lot of nice guys at this one.”

“Justin, I don’t know, I mean after what happened last time I went somewhere with you.”

“Alan, I’m not going to leave you, I promise. It’ll be fun, besides, there’s no chance of running into Austin here.”

“Why do you want to go so bad?” I sat on his bed next to him.

He shrugs. “I feel bad because I know I’ve like, abandoned you since Jon got back and I just want you to be happy, because you deserve it and you deserve a good boyfriend, and that sounds really dumb.”

“Justin, I’m fine. I appreciate your concern though.” I hug him.

“So you really don’t want to go?” He pulls away and asks.

“I guess we could go check it out.” It obviously meant a lot to him, I would go for an hour, and leave. Easy.

 

++++

It was weird dancing on someone. The way your ass was right against their dick, the way their hands pressed on your hips, the way they tried to kiss your neck. This guy was so attractive though, I almost didn’t mind the awkwardness.

The way the light hit his hair, giving him an almost halo, the way his mouth moved when he introduced himself, even though I couldn’t hear him, the way he took my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor under an array of colorful lights.

To be honest, no matter how attractive he was, I didn’t want it to go past this; dancing. I had Jerry for sex, I didn't need some random at a gay club.

The song ends I feel him slide something in my pocket. Then he’s gone.

I walk back to where Justin is sitting, on his third drink, texting Jon. I slide in the booth.

“Justin, I want to leave.” I was tired, a little bit tipsy, and just ready to rinse away the day.

“Mmm, I feel you. There’s nothing like being a buffet when you’re on a diet. Can you drive?” He slides his keys over the table to me.

-=-

I dragged Justin to his room, stripped him to his underwear, put a towel on his bed over his pillow in case he puked, and set the garbage can next to edge of the bed, then headed back to my room.

_‘hey, are you busy?’_ I quickly text Jerry. I wasn’t going to spend my Friday night all by myself if I could help it. I shoved my phone in my pocket and grabbed the paper the mystery man slid in. There were ten digits scribbled across the paper with **text me ;) xo Bran** I smiled and opened my door. Vince and Shawna were on his bed watching a movie. Definitely not staying here tonight. I don’t care if I have to take Justin’s car to Jerry’s.

I feel my phone buzz in my pocket as I walk over to my desk. _‘nope, if I ever tell u I am, I’m lying ;) want me 2 come get u, Cali?’_ I exhaled in relief and quickly texted back; _‘please? :)’_

I dumped the contents of backpack on my desk, careful not to break anything. I threw in some extra clothes, along with the ones I borrowed from Jerry last time I was at his apartment, and my toothbrush.

I hear my phone go off again; I pick it up off my desk where I set it, next to Bran’s number. _‘u know I cant say no 2 u ;) I’ll be there in about 40 mins’_

-=-

“Are you hungry?” Jerry asks when I get in the car. He hadn’t bothered going to the commons building this time, he just came right in front of Oak.

“Kind of.” I shrug.

“I’ll order us something when we get back.” He smiles and then turns his attention back to the road.

See, he wasn’t bad.

-=-

“I’m just going to put my bag in your room.” Jerry was leaning against his counter messing with his phone.

“Yeah. I’ll be in here.”

I walk back through the dimly lit hallway and back into his room. There was shit all over the floor, just  
like there always was. Beer bottles, condom wrappers, take out containers. Obviously cleanliness wasn’t on his mind. I set my bag on the bed, the only real clean space in the room and walk back out into the kitchen. Jerry had a takeout menu on the counter and he was going down it with his index finger, mumbling each thing as he got to it.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, rubbing my face on the back of his shirt, he smelt so good. Truthfully, I did like Jerry. There were times when I had my doubts, like at the bakery, but he’s been nothing but good to me.

“Cali, what are you doing.” He laughs.

“Don’t know.”

“We have to decide on dinner.” Jerry says. I can almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Don’t care.”

He sighs. “Alan, you said that last time and didn’t like what I ordered.”

“I’m very choosy about what goes in my mouth, sorry.” I say and let go of him, leaning on the counter next to him.

He looks at me and snorts. “Right.”

I push him a little and he laughs as he slides the menu over to me. “Pick something.”

-=-

I woke up naked and hungry. I had told Jerry I didn’t know what I wanted to eat, causing him to pick me up and carry me back to his bed and have his way with me, and truthfully, I didn’t mind it.

I could hear him on the phone, he was talking quietly, he probably didn’t want to wake me. I picked my boxer briefs off the floor and slid them back on.

I began to walk into the hallway, quietly so I would surprise him.

I could hear him laugh. “Yeah, it’s just, I know, but, he’s still here. Yeah. Yes, the ginger.” He sighs.

Who could he be talking to, and about me? I stop in the hallway where I could hear him perfectly, but he couldn’t see me.

“I don’t know, he’ll probably stay the night and leave tomorrow.” I bite my lip. I didn’t know what to think.

“Of course I fucked him. That’s the whole point of having him here.” He laughs. “Do I like him? Shit, I don’t know, he’s a good kid. Even better in bed, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that I wanted to, like, I don’t know, date him.”

That’s all I needed to hear. I walked quietly back to his room and got back into my spot, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I shouldn’t be upset. I knew Jerry and I weren’t together. I knew he didn’t want a relationship. Even if he did, why would he want to date an 18 year old college student?

I hear Jerry walk down the hallway and I close my eyes so it looks like I’m sleeping, like I didn’t just eavesdrop on his conversation.

I feel the bed dip a little where he sits. He leans over pats my butt. “Cali, come on, I ordered some Chinese.”


	11. eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lyrics: _I don't like it like this_ by the radio dept.

Jerry left the bedroom when he heard a buzz over the intercom. I got up and started digging through my backpack, finding the pair of sweatpants I brought, then picked my shirt and phone off the floor and walked into the kitchen. Jerry was standing at the door talking to the guy with the food.

“Thanks, man.” He pats the guy on the shoulder and takes the bag of food from him before closing the door and walking over to the table.

He sets the bag of food on the table. “I got you that orange chicken stuff you’re always going on about.” He walks over to the fridge.

“Thanks.” I sit in the chair I always sit in and get the food out, placing a white box in front of where he sits, across from me.

I hear him pop the top off a bottle off a beer. He walks over to the table, placing a can of mountain dew on the table in front of me. He slides into his seat as I take my orange chicken out of the bag and take the lid off it before setting it down.

“I got a phone number earlier.” I wanted to see if maybe, just maybe he would be jealous.

He looks up from his food and smiles. “And where did you get that?”

“Justin made me go to that gay club, Bummer’s, earlier.”

Jerry laughs. “I’m not surprised. You gonna call him?”

I shrug. “Probably not.”

“Why? Was he ugly?”

“No, he was gorgeous.”

“Then why not call him?”

I sigh. “I have you.” It was only supposed to be a thought. I wanted to slide under the table and die.

Jerry sets his plastic fork down and scratches his beard. “Alan…”

Before he could finish his sentence I cut him off. “That was a mistake. I didn’t mean to say it.”

“…you do know that we aren’t together, right? We’re like…acquaintances with benefits.”

I looked at him. “ _Acquaintances_?” I won’t lie, that felt like someone just stabbed me and didn’t have the decency to put it straight in, but instead put it in a few centimeters, then took it out, and repeated, until they hit bone.

He looks at me as if I’m supposed to continue on with my sentence, but I’m pretty much done. “I don’t know what you expected…”

I got up from my seat, I had never been this hurt in my entire life. Not when my mom told me I couldn’t get a cat, not when my first boyfriend broke up with me on prom night, not when I heard Austin tell Shayley he didn’t like me like that, not even when Austin said he did actually like me, but couldn’t drop everything to date me. This was a whole new level of hurt. “I expected to at least be called a friend, Jerry. I’ve told you things I haven’t even told Justin, hell, I haven’t Natalie some of the things I told you.” I could feel the tears forming, I could feel my cheeks warming.

“So I misspoke, there’s no reason to cry over spilled milk, Cali. Just sit down, your food’s gonna get cold.”

I felt something come over me. I picked up my orange chicken and threw it at him, making sure it hit him right in the chest.

“Alan, what the hell? That cost twelve fucking dollars. Are you fucking kidding me?” He exclaims standing up, causing pieces of chicken and broccoli to fall to the ground in a puddle of soy sauce. “I’ve been nothing but good to you!”

I feel myself laugh. “Fuck you, Jerry.” I wipe the few tears from my face and push past him into the bathroom. I lock the door and sit on the toilet. I could hear him yelling in the kitchen, throwing things around. I wanted, no needed to get back to my dorm. I sighed and wiped more tears away. Justin was too drunk to drive, Vince didn’t have a car, that left…

I reached in my pocket and pulled out my phone before scrolling to find the number I needed and pressed call. I waited the three rings before I heard a sleepy “Hello?” I held back my phone and saw it was getting close to two in the morning.

“Hello? Alan?”

“Austin, please don’t be mad…” I sighed into the phone.

++++

“Alan, what, why are you calling? I mean I don’t mind, but it’s almost 2 in the morning.” He was whispering, probably trying to not wake Tino up.

“I need you come get me.” I sniffed.

“Are you crying?” He asks. I hear him move his blankets and the click of a light going on.

“A little, just come get me, please.” I bite my lip. _‘What the fuck, Austin? I’m trying to sleep!’_ I hear Tino yell in the background.

“Yeah, of course, Alan. Where are you?” He says something to Tino and I hear the door shut behind him.

“Don’t be mad, please.” I whisper.

“Alan, I can’t hear you.” He’s walking down the hall; I can hear his keys jingling.

“Don’t be mad at me.” I say a little louder.

“Why would I be mad at you? Just tell me where you are. I need to make sure you’re safe.”

“I’m at…Jerry’s.” I bite my lip, waiting for him to break out in ‘I told you so’ and telling me to lay in the  
bed I made.

“I’m coming, do you need me to stay on the phone?”

“No, I’m okay. I’ll text you the address, okay?”

“Yeah, I’m going to try and be there in about 20 minutes, okay, Alan?”

“Yeah.” He hangs up and I text him the address.

-=-

I leave the bathroom ten minutes before Austin is supposed to be here. I walk into his room, throw the clothes that are his on his bed and shove my clothes into my bag. I do a quick look around, making sure I have all of my stuff before I walk slowly into the hallway and out into the kitchen.

“Leaving?” Jerry asks from his couch, he had a bottle of vodka on the table, no glass.

“Yeah, Austin’s coming to get me.” I say quietly.

He snorts. “Of course he is. He _always_ has to be the hero, doesn’t he?” I rolled my eyes. “Man, you got screwed didn’t you? Shayley claims to get fucked over and he gets Austin, what do you get?”

He laughs to himself and picks up the vodka bottle from his table.

I wasn’t going to listen to this. I walked over to the door and opened it.

“Cali, don’t go.” He had an almost desperate tone to his voice, I almost felt bad for him. Part of me wanted to go to the couch and forgive him, but the better part of me took over my body and slammed the door.

-=-

It was colder than I thought it was going to be. I fumbled around in my backpack for the pack of cigarettes I kept, a habit picked up from Jerry. I lit up and looked at my phone; I still had about 3 minutes before Austin was supposed to get here. But I knew 20 minutes was going to be a stretch, it takes Justin 30 and he goes twenty miles over.

I sighed and took a drag. I probably looked like I belonged in some movie warning against college life or something.

-=-

Three minutes turned into ten, and ten into fifteen. Every time a car would pull down the side street, my hopes rose up, but would quickly fall when I realized that it wasn’t Austin. So I didn’t even bother looking when I heard a car pull up and a door open.

"Alan?" I look up, Austin was standing next to his car, he walks over to me, not bothering to close the door. He was wearing a black tank top with some words I couldn’t make out in my teary state, and some black sweatpants that were a little too big.

As soon as he made it to the wall I was leaning against, he hugged me. It felt good, he was warm, and not just body temperature wise. “Are you okay?” I shake my head and he pulls me back into him, rubbing the back of my head. “Come on, it’s cold.” He pulls out of the hug and smiles. I throw my cigarette on the ground and stomp it out before grabbing my bag off the ground.

When I open the passenger door, the mix of heat and the smell of baked goods and just a hint of axe and cinnamon hit me straight on, immediately bringing a smile to my face. These things were Austin, they were happiness, they were protection, and they were good.

Austin gets in the driver’s seat and looks at me. He hesitates a minute before reaching across the box in the middle of the two seats and wipes the tears, that are pretty much frozen to my face, away with his left thumb.

He pulls away and drives down the alley, making a left turn at the end of it as the song on his ipod changes, filling the car with soft guitar playing.

He makes it to the highway exit, just down the street before the vocals kick in.

_Words fail me all the time; I don’t even feel like talking.  
Still, I go on and on. I’m dying here, and you keep walking._

_Why are you asking me this? Can't you see I'm trying?  
I don't like it like this. No, I think I'm dying._

Austin accelerates as he goes gets on the highway. I look at the time, 2:43. I was just happy I could sleep in tomorrow. “Austin?” I wait for him to look at me before I went on.

“Yeah, Alan?” He looks over at me, he’s obviously tired, he then quickly looks back at the road.

“Thank you.”

Even though he doesn’t look at me, I can see him smile a little bit.

_I can't calm down at all. Panic is what panic feels like.  
Can't we just stay silent? Speaking now seems far too violent. _


	12. twelve

I woke up with Austin’s right hand on my hip, his head right against mine. It felt nice. When I would sleep over at Jerry’s, he would let me cuddle with him for a while, then he would turn over, getting me to stop.

I heard a key enter the door and Tino comes in, followed by Penelope. “Oh, sorry, Alan.”

I feel Austin move behind me. “What’s going on?” He moves head away to look up, but doesn’t take his hand off my hip.

“Um, Austin, don’t you have work study?” Tino questions while digging around in his desk drawer.

Austin lets go of me and nearly jumps over me. “Fuck, thanks for reminding me.” He grabs some clothes out of his drawers and pushes past Penelope and Tino.

“Guess I should go back to my room.” I say getting out of Austin’s warm bed.

“You could stay, I don’t care.” Tino says grabbing Penelope’s hand and leaving the door open. I grabbed my bag off the ground and dumped its contents onto Austin’s bed. I need to find my key.

I moved everything around on the bed, shaking shirts, checking the pockets on my jeans, even looking in my socks. I couldn’t find it. I must’ve left it at Jerry’s.

Austin comes back in, this time wearing a Slipknot shirt and some torn jeans. “I have to get going,  
Alan. I’ll come by after I’m done working, okay?”

“Yeah.” I shoved the stuff into my bag. I decided not to mention my missing key to Austin.

-=-

Around 2 I got a text from Jerry

_Alan. I need to talk to you. Also, I have your key and id card, they were mixed in with the sweatpants you put on my bed. I can bring them back whenever._

I sighed. I didn’t really want to see him, but I also didn’t want to pay almost $100 to get a new lock put on Vince and my’s door. So, I would have to see him.

_I’m free all day. Just meet me next to the commons building._

-=-

Jerry was going to be here any minute. I had spent my day at the coffee shop that was inside the building. Luckily I had my wallet with me so I didn’t starve.

_im here._

It was weird with Jerry texting me full sentences and not using chatspeak. I headed out to the parking lot. I immediately spotted his bright yellow Aveo and walked over.

Jerry was leaning against the driver side door. His beard was gone and he was twirling around my lanyard on his finger.

“Hey.” Jerry extended the lanyard to me when I reached him. “Here.” I take it from him and turn around, to head back. The cafeteria was calling my name.

“Alan.”

I turned back to him. “I’m sorry. I mean it. I’m an asshole.”

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “I think we both did things we regret. I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have expected more than you were already giving me.”

“So I guess that’s it.”

I look past Jerry and his car and see Phil and Austin walking towards the parking lot. Phil was telling Austin something and Austin was laughing. I was hoping they wouldn’t see me.  
“Yeah, you better get out of here.” I said to Jerry, Austin had spotted me and was making his way over to Jerry’s car, Phil walking slowly behind him. “Alan! Hey!” I smiled and waved.

Austin gets closer to the car. “We’re going in for dinner, want to come?” He smiles at me.

“Yeah, I’ll be in a minute.” I say.

He starts to walk over before he sees Jerry. “What the fuck?”

“Austin, listen to me, he’s----”

Austin gets in Jerry’s face. “What are you doing here? Haven’t you bothered him enough?”

Jerry laughs. “I was just leaving, Austin. Keep your pants on.”

“Austin---” I start. I was going to tell him what he was doing here.

“No, Alan. I’ll deal with you in a minute.”

I was kind of offended by the way Austin had just talked to me. I know you’re pissed, but you aren’t letting me explain the situation. “Austin, I’m trying to---”

“Alan! Just stop.” Austin basically yells at me. I bit my lip and move backward.

Jerry snorts. “Who’s the asshole now?”

Phil said something to Austin like ‘it’s not worth it’ but I could be wrong, he said it quietly and he was on the other side of the car. Austin apparently doesn’t take Phil’s advice, because the next thing I know Austin’s fists collides with Jerry’s face, knocking Jerry a little down the car. Jerry doesn’t even hesitate pushing Austin into the car I was standing next to. I moved out of the way. There was no way I was going to be able to pull either of them off, so I just moved. Phil immediately dropped his clipboard and notebook before running over, telling them to stop.

Of course, neither of them listened. Jerry grabbed Austin’s shirt collar and punched him in the face at least 3 times before Phil could get over to them and attempt to pull Jerry off Austin.

“You’re fucking scum, Jerry!” Austin yells as Phil grabs Jerry’s arms and pulls him backwards towards Jerry’s car.

Jerry spits and it lands on Austin’s cheek. Austin wipes it from his face and charges at Jerry, grabbing him out of Phil’s grip.

“Austin!” Phil yells. Austin throws Jerry on the ground and gets on top of him. If I wasn’t scared for my life, I’d be seriously turned on. Austin raises his fist and punches Jerry right in the nose, blood getting everywhere. Phil pulls him off. “Are you fucking crazy, Austin? You’re going to lose your baseball scholarship, maybe your RA status.” Phil yells at him picking him up. “I hope it was worth it.”

Austin wipes the blood from his face and goes when Phil tells him to. I stand there awkwardly, not sure if I should follow. But then, there was Jerry, lying on the grass, blood everywhere. I couldn’t just leave him. I walked over and kneeled on the grass next to him.

“Alan…” I helped him sit up so he wouldn’t die or whatever happens when blood goes into your sinuses.

“Do you have tissues in your car or something?” I say taking his keys out of his pocket and climb into his car.

“Glove box.” He sighs, trying to get up.

“Stop. Stay there.” I say getting into the glove box and pulling out a wad of napkins and go back to him, setting the napkins in his lap. I move his hand and look at his face. “It looks broken.”

“Great. I come back and try to do the right thing and I get my nose broken. Figures.”

-=-

Jerry left after I had taken him inside to the bathroom and cleaned him up enough. I was so pissed off at Austin. He had no right to punch Jerry, no matter his feelings towards him, he had no right to talk to me the way he did, and he especially had no right to do something that could jeopardize his place at school. I opened the door to my room. It was so nice to finally have a shower. I set my shower stuff in the cabinet that Vince and I keep that stuff in, and then walked over to my dresser, grabbing some underwear and basketball shorts. I slipped them on, then grabbed a shirt off my desk, slid my phone in my pocket, grabbed my keys, then made my way down to Austin’s room. We were going to have a very serious talk.

+++++

I knocked on Austin’s door, waited; then knocked again. Finally it opened, revealing Austin.

“Alan.” He breathes; I could barely hear him.

“We need to talk.” I say. I don’t even wait for him to answer; I just push past him and sit on his bed.

Austin quietly closes the door, sighs, and then turns around, looking at me. Jerry had hit him pretty hard. He had a cut on his lip, his face was kind of bruised, there was some dried blood in his eyebrow. Suddenly, I wasn’t angry with him. He looked so helpless and hurt.

“Before you say anything, Alan,” He stops talking to think, then walks closer. “I want to apologize for yelling at you. You didn’t deserve it, I had anger towards Jerry and I kind of took some of it out on you. I’m sorry; I’ll never do it again.”

I nodded. He sat down next to me. “I totally understand if you’re mad at me.” He adds quietly. It was weird seeing him like this.

“I’m not mad at you Austin. I mean, I was a little upset when you yelled at me, but I’m more concerned with you right now. Did someone even look at your eyebrow?”

He shakes his head. “Phil told me to go straight to my room, he has to go talk to Student Services, he’s trying to talk them in letting me keep my RA status.” He looks down.

“Do you have a first aid kit?” I was suddenly glad that my mom had taught me how to clean cuts out.

“I don’t know where Tino put it.” He sighs.

“I’ll be right back; my mom literally packed me a whole doctor’s office.” I say getting up.

-=-

“You weren’t kidding.” Austin smiles, I set the box on Tino’s bed and began looking through it.

“She’s crazy, but I’m glad she’s that way. Most of the time.” I get the water bottle off the top of the box and get a washcloth, get it damp, then rub it with this bar of soap my mom put in there. “Hold still.” I say and walk over to him, lightly going over the cut in his eyebrow. It was weird being this close to him, almost face level with him, making sure I cleaned the cut well; I didn’t want it to get infected. He kept looking at me, had I more courage, and if he didn’t have a huge, unappetizing cut on his lip, maybe I would’ve kissed him. But probably not.

“Okay, I think it’s clean now.” I say and step away from him and back over to my box. I got the box of smaller band-aids out and set them on the bed, then found the Neosporin. I walk back over to him, dabbing a little on a q-tip and apply it to his cut. He winces a little. “Sorry, it’s cold.” He smiles. “Man up.” I tease and apply the rest of it to the cut, then grab a Band-Aid and put it over his eyebrow.

“Thanks.” He says.

“You’re welcome.” I throw away the trash and put the stuff back in the box.

“Alan?”

I look at him.

“Can you kiss it? It’ll make it better.” He laughs. I roll my eyes and walk over to him, and kiss the spot right above where the Band-Aid was sitting. “There.” I sit back in the spot where I was before I bandaged him up.

“Now that I did that for you, you have to do something for me.” I say looking at him.

“What?”

“Tell me why you punched him.”

Austin sighs. “I just really fucking hate him, Alan. I thought he was trying to get you to come back to him, and I didn’t want you to get hurt, you know? I got a bit overprotective.”

“He was just giving me my key.” I state looking down at my shoes.

“Well, I know that now. I guess if I would’ve let you talk I wouldn’t have to have you bandage me up.”

“Besides, Austin, until yesterday, he always treated me good. I promise.”

Austin sighs.

He obviously wasn’t going to talk about Jerry, so I changed the subject. “What happens if Phil can’t save your RA status?” Okay, so it wasn’t the best way to change the subject.

Austin gives a nervous laugh. “I get to move back in with my dad and commute. I have enough financial aid to cover the loss of my baseball scholarship, which I know I’m going to lose, strict no fighting policy, but if I lose my RA status, I’m fucked, Alan.”

I felt really bad, even though it wasn’t my fault. “Do you think Phil can save it?”

“I hope. Phil has, surprisingly, never been in trouble with the school, he’s made it to the top 25 every year he's been here, this is his second year being an RA, and he has a really good chance of being Senior RA next year. If they’ll take anyone’s word, it’ll be his.”

“Well, that’s good.”

I heard a knock on the door. I get up and open it to see Phil standing there, a somewhat distressed look on his face. “Oh, Alan. Hi.” He walks in and over to Austin.

“So, should I start packing?” Austin looks at Phil as he moves some the box over and sits across from Austin, clipboard in his hand.

“Well, I have good news, terrible news, and semi-bad news. Which one would you like first?” He says.

“Do you want me leave?” I ask, still awkwardly standing next to the door.

Phil looks back at me. “No, you need to be here, you were a witness. Pop a squat, Eggs.”

I sigh; I was never going to live down that nickname. I sit walk over and sit down next to Austin.

“Terrible, bad, good.” Austin says looking at Phil.

Phil nods and looks at his clipboard. “The dean said that you’ve most definitely lost your baseball scholarship. Of course, you can contest it, but let’s be honest, you won’t win.”

Austin nods. “So, that’s it. No more baseball?” He sounded upset.

Phil nods. “Unfortunately. Now, the good news and the semi-bad news go together.” Phil sighs. “You ready for this?”

Austin looks at him. “Yeah, lay it on me, Manansala.”

“Okay, the Dean was very lenient with you. I mean, you are so lucky.” He says looking down at his clipboard.

Austin sighs. “She’s willing to put you on probation for rest of the semester.” Phil starts. I hear Austin sigh in relief. “But, she wants to talk to Jerry about the fight, that’s the only way she’s going to consider letting you be an RA again next semester.” Phil sighs.

Austin stands up and starts pacing. “That’s not going to work. He’s never going to do something nice for me.” Austin says. “Fuck.”

Phil looks down at his clipboard, then back up. “Well, I had a while to think about it, walking back over here, and I’ve come up with an idea.” Phil says.

Austin looks at him. “Tell me.”

“Look, it’s not the most ideal of situations, considering your past with him, and I was thinking and thinking, and then I realized---we have Alan.”


	13. thirteen

Austin looks at Phil like he’s lost his damn mind. Maybe he has.

“What are you talking about, Phil?” Austin asks, almost mad.

“It’s just that if Jerry will listen to anyone, it’d be Alan. I mean they were together or whatever for a month. It’s worth a shot.” Phil says.

-=-

Phil had informed us that Jerry could come in at any time to talk to the dean, as long as it was before winter break, and then he left. He had a date with Anouk.

“Austin, I’ll do it.” I say. Austin was sitting in Phil’s seat, biting his lip, obviously thinking.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I roll my eyes. “Are you going to go talk to him? Because the way I see it, I’m your best bet. I want to help you. It’s my fault anyway.”

“It’s not your fault.” He says quietly. Aka; it was my fault, he just didn't want to say it.

“Look, Austin.” He looks at me. “I’m going to do regardless. So you can either take me up there, or I can call Jerry to come get me.”

-=-

Austin obviously takes me to Jerry’s. It’s an awkward drive, we don’t really talk.

“Do you want me to come in with you?” He asks.

“No, I have my phone though. If I need your muscles I'll call.”

He smiles.

I open the door to the apartment complex and climb the four flights up to his apartment. I knock on the door and it opens immediately.

“Alan? What are you doing here?” He asks. His nose looked terrible, but I couldn’t tell if it was broken or not.

“I need to talk to you.”

Jerry moves out of the way so I can come in, then closes the door behind me. I go and sit on his couch and wait for him to join me.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks.” I say, he shrugs then sits down in an arm chair across from his couch.

“What did you want to talk about?” He sighs.

“It’s more of me asking you for a huge favor, than anything.” I decided that I was just going to be honest with him, something he couldn’t be with me.

“Oh God, here we go. I’m not going to press charges on Saint Austin. Don’t worry.” He rolls his eyes.

“That’s not it.”

“You want me back? ‘Cause that can be arranged.” He smirks.

“Wrong again.”

“Well, shoot, Cali, I’m all out of ideas.”

“Austin’s going to lose his RA status,” I start before getting cut off.

“That’s a real shame.” He says getting up and walking into his kitchen.

“Jerry, can you please be serious?”

I hear a beer can crack and he comes back in. “Sure you don’t want a drink?”

“I’m absolutely sure. Can you please sit down so we can talk?”

He takes a drink then sits down. “I’m sorry, Cali, please continue.”

“Austin’s going to lose his RA status unless you go talk to the dean.” Short and simple.

“And you want me to go lie to the dean and tell them that it was my fault so Austin can stay in school, right?” He takes another drink.

“You don’t have to lie. She just wants to talk to you about it, and then Austin can go on with his life.”

“Hm, tempting, but no.” He says setting his beer can down on the table.

“Jerry.”

“Cali, why would I do something nice for him? He broke my fucking nose, for no God damn reason!”

“Jerry, he’s just over protective.”

“Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days? Sounds to me like he has a little bit of an anger issue. Kicking dumpsters, remember that? Yelling at you for speaking? Beating me up because I was talking to you? _Over protective_? More like an episode of _48 Hours_.” He snorts.

“I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

“Why would I help him?” He totally ignores my question.

“Because, Jerry. Just, please.”

“I literally get nothing out of this.” Jerry counters.

“The feeling of being a good person?”

“Please, Alan. You and I both know I don’t give a fuck about that.”

“What do you want?” I told Austin I would only talk to him, that I wouldn’t bribe him with anything, but I felt terrible.

Jerry picks up his can of beer and takes a drink. “Come on, Cali.”

“What?” I say, he sets his can back down, by the sound it made, I could tell that it was about empty.

He gets up and sits next to me. I was having sudden flashbacks to the first time we had sex. If having sex with him would make him go talk to the dean, then, that’s what I’d do.

“You know what I want.” He leans in; breath smelling like the bud light he just drank, hot on my neck.

“Is it going to make you talk to the dean?”

“I’ll do whatever you want.” He says quietly, he kisses my neck and unzips my hoodie the rest of way.

“Fine.” I say and take my jacket off all the way.

“Well, come on.” Jerry says getting up, I do the same and take his hand when he extends to me.

-=-

I climb onto his bed and kick my shoes off as he walks around to the other side of the bed, messing around in a drawer. This was so awkward. When we used to do this there was a lot more kissing, so the silence wasn’t as terrible and awkward. Jerry gets into bed and looks at me; he reaches out and touches my face.

“Austin doesn’t deserve you, neither do I.” He mumbles running his thumb over my lips. “Such a shame you don’t know your worth, Alan.”

I ignore him. He was probably drunk, probably had several beers since the fight to distract himself from the pain.

He pulls away and takes his shirt off. Those tattoos, I liked to trace them with my pointer finger when he would cuddle with me.

He places his lips on mine; I had no choice but to kiss him back. I was doing this for Austin; because I wasn’t going to fuck up his college career.

I let him lie me down and climb on top of me, his right hand cupping my face, his left on my hip. He does this every time, I guess it’s his version of foreplay, and I think he just liked my hip bones. I don’t know, I don’t care. I just wanted to get this over with.

I lean up so he can take my shirt off, he pushes me softly back down and leans down, kissing me hard on the lips. It felt weird without his beard. He moves down my jaw, then my neck, finally stopping there, biting and sucking, and even though I wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this, I was.

“Jer...” I gasp, he had bitten me really hard, it was going to leave a mark, Austin would ask.

I feel him smirk against my skin; he knows he has me now. He pulls away from my neck and looks me in the eyes. “Now, don’t get too excited.” I could barely hear him, and then he started grinding against my hips. I closed my eyes and bit my lip.

Jerry stops grinding and I hear him unbuckle his belt, then his zipper goes down. I was next; he’s predictable. I hear the fabric fall on top of a Styrofoam something.

His lips were on mine again, I could feel him messing with my jeans. He unzips them and lifts my hips so he could pull them down and off.

“Cali, I missed you.” He says rubbing my erection with his palm.

“It’s been a day.” I say quietly.

“A day too long.” He replaces his hand with his hips and leans down and kisses me, biting at my lower lip. I couldn’t help but moan a little, he knew exactly how to make me tick, and he was going to use it to his advantage.

I wanted him, and I felt terrible about it. Austin was downstairs in his car, waiting for me to come down there and I was getting fucked.

If he didn’t hurry the fuck up, I was going to have get on top, and Jerry hated that, something about it feeling weird to him. “Jerry, _please_.” I moaned. 75% real, 25% fake.

“I knew you wanted it.” He slides his boxers off, then grabs the condom off the bed. He takes my boxer briefs off, tossing them next to the door. He moves closer to his drawer, he forgot the lube, as always.

He retrieves it, then rips the condom wrapped open with his teeth. This part always turned me on the most, that animal like behavior.

He slid the condom on his own erection before grabbing the lube and squirting it on fingers. He sticks two in my entrance and moves them around a little, this part was always so awkward, he takes his fingers out and applies more lube to them before rubbing it all over the condom.

“Ready?” He leans down and kisses me, moving my legs so he could get a better angle.

“Just do it, Jerry.” I feel him line up, then he leans down and kisses me again as he pushes in. He remembered that I hated his part. I closed my eyes and he kissed down my jaw. He got all the way in.

“You good?” He asks placing kisses on my neck. I did miss this. Despite how you feel about him, he was extremely good in bed. He knew all of the tricks.

“Yeah, just, go.” I breathe quietly.

He pulls out and then comes back in. Mumbling something about how I was still tight even after he had fucked me so much. Classy.

He hits my spot. “Jer!”

He smirks, then leans in and kisses me. “You ain’t gonna get this anywhere else, Cali.” He pulls back, then slams back into me. Fuck. Over and over and over again. He uses his left hand, the one with the excess lube on it, to reach down to my dick and start jacking me. “Jerry!” I grab his face and pull him down to kiss me, and he does kiss me, I open my mouth for him and he sticks his tongue in, moving it all over. Beer, that’s all I taste. Jerry bites my lip and that’s how I know he’s close. “Mmm.” He says.

“Close.” Called it.

Then he’s coming. “Shit, Cali.” He continues jerking me until I finally cum, biting his shoulder as I do.

-=-

“You’re going to talk to her, right?” I ask from his bathroom, cleaning the cum off my chest.

“Cali, I told you I would.” He had lit up a cigarette.

“You have to do it by December 18th.” I remind him.

“I know, I told you, I’m going tomorrow.” I throw the washcloth in his hamper and make my way into his bedroom, sliding my jeans on.

“Don’t make me regret this.” I already did.

“I doubt you would, Cali.”

He sets his cigarette in his ashtray next to the window and walks over to where I was sitting on the bed, putting my shoes on. I needed to leave; Austin probably thought I was dead or something.

I felt like crying, I felt used, I felt dirty. It was no one’s fault but my own, I offered to do this for Austin, he told me he didn’t want me to, but I insisted, knowing it would probably come to this.

Austin couldn’t know. Who knows what he would do.

“I have to go.” I slid my shirt on.

“Wait.” He says leaning down and kissing me, sliding his hand lower.

“Jerry, no. This is it.”

+++

I grabbed my hoodie and threw it on before leaving. I made my way down the stairs, slowly.

I stopped at the bottom, next to the main door and got my phone out. I had several new messages from Austin. I opened them and skimmed, basically just asking me if I was okay. I locked it and used it to make sure it didn’t look like I had done anything. I ran my hand through my hair and walked outside, it was getting dark. I walked over to the parking lot behind the complex to see Austin’s car. He sees me and starts the car.

I walk over, and open the car door and climb in.

“Well?” He looks at me; it was really cold in his car.

“He’s going to talk to her.” I say and put my seatbelt.

“Really?” He says, shocked.

“Yeah, can we get going?”

“Are you okay?” He puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah, I just have homework.” I lie.

“Right, yeah.” He takes his hand away and puts it on the gear shifter, and starts to pull out of the parking space.

“So, what did you say to him?” He asks keeping his eye on the road.

“I just used my ginger charm.”

He laughs. “Thank you so much, Alan.” He looks at me. “It means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

-=-

When we got back to the dorm I went straight to my room.

“Hey Vince,” I waved at him as I walked over to my dresser. I needed to shower.

“Hey, Alan,” He stops. “Is it true that Austin might not be our RA next semester?”

“No, he will be.” I look at him from my desk chair. “Why?”

“Well, Shawna said that he got in a fight and I heard people talking about him. They said that because  
he got in a fight he couldn’t be an RA, or something.”

“No, Phil took care of it.” I took care of it.

“Oh, okay. They said that you were there, too.” He says, but doesn’t press it any further.

“Yeah, it was stupid.”

I get up from my chair and grab my clothes and make my way to the cabinet to get my shower stuff.

-=-

“ _No, sorry, Justin, he’s sleeping_.” I hear Vince say.

“No, I’m awake.” I mumble and look at the door. Vince moves out of the way so Justin can come in.

“You better tell me what the fuck happened.” Vince starts putting things in his backpack.

“Justin, if you knew the day I’ve had, you’d let me sleep forever.” I say and lay back down. I hear the door close, Vince must’ve left.

“Alan!” Justin yells.

“Leave me alone, Justin.”

“I can’t, Alan. What’s wrong?” He wasn’t going to leave until I told him.

“Come up here.” I wasn’t going to get down. I was staying up here until I died.

I hear Justin sigh and mumble under his breath before he starts climbing up. I scoot over so he has somewhere to go when he gets up here. He finally makes his way up and lies next to me.

“What’s wrong?” He runs his fingers through my hair.

I could feel the tears starting to form. I didn’t want to tell Justin about Jerry and that whole situation, but I had to because of the fight.

“Come on, talk to me.” He smiles. “You’ll feel better.”

“I-I, I fucked up, Justin.”

“Tell me,” He says softly.

I sighed. “Promise not to interrupt me?”

He laughs. “I can try my hardest, triple A.”

I nod the best I could while lying down. “W-well, it started after Austin told me he like m-me.” I was trying to not cry, because that would cause me to repeat the story again at another time so Justin could understand me. “I still continued to see Jerry,” Justin looks like he was going to say something, but then held his tongue. “and I started to like him, you know? We t-talked sometimes and whatever, it was stupid. But then yesterday I heard him on the phone with someone telling them how he w-wouldn’t date me or whatever, and I don’t know why I got so upset about it.” I wiped a tear away from my face. “So we got in a fight because he said he basically d-didn’t even consider me a f-friend. So I called Austin to come get me, and he did, because you were drunk off your ass.”

Justin smiles a bit, then goes right back to be serious.

“Anyway, so I left my dorm key at Jerry’s, and he said he would bring it back. So he did, this was today, and so,” Justin wipes the tears off my face with his hoodie sleeve. He was the best friend a guy could have, honestly. “I was talking to him next to his car and Austin saw us and he got pissed and started yelling at him, and I tried to explain what was going on, and Austin yelled at me,” I stop and bite my lip. “then, Jerry makes a smart comment and Austin punches him, then Jerry pushes Austin into a car and fucks him up pretty bad before Phil can pull him off. But then, Jerry being Jerry, had to spit on Austin, which infuriated him, so Austin dragged him down on the ground and broke his nose.”

Justin’s eyes widen. “Holy shit, Alan.”

“I’m not even close to being done.” I wipe my eyes again. “So, after that I went and helped Jerry clean up his nose, because I couldn’t just leave him there. Then after he left, I went to talk to Austin, who looked terrible, too. So I cleaned him up, then Phil came in and told Austin he could lose his RA status.”

“So it is true.” He whispers.

“No,” I say.

“What?”

“Phil said that the dean would let Austin continue if she could talk to Jerry.”

“But he’s never going to agree to that.” Justin says.

“He already did.”

“What? How?” Justin asks.

I don’t say anything, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him or not. I stated crying. I felt like shit. I felt like a fucking whore or something. Justin gasps, probably from my sudden outburst, but scoots closer to me and pulls me to his chest, rubbing my back. “Shh, Alan, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, I fucked him, Justin. I fucked Jerry so he would talk to the dean.” I cry into his sweatshirt.

“Alan…” I feel Justin’s body tense, but then it relaxes. “Shh, it’ll be okay,”

“No it won’t! If Austin finds out that I had sex with Jerry he’s going to be so mad at me, Jus.”

Justin just pats my back and holds me. Honestly, I was glad he didn’t say anything.

-=-

I woke up the next morning with Justin still in the same spot. Vince wasn’t back. He was probably at Shawna’s or something. I didn’t care.

I climbed down and walked over to the door, there was a piece of a paper slid under the door. I picked it up.

**MANDATORY Hall meeting tonight at 6. If you can't make this meeting for whatever reason (laziness/I don’t want to/ I have a date is NOT a legitimate excuse) please come see me before 5:30 so I can talk to you. IF YOU DO NOT SHOW UP YOU WILL BE WRITTEN UP. – Phil Manansala, 2 North, room 13 & Austin Carlile, 2 South room 26**

I sighed and set it on Vince’s desk. If he wasn’t back before 5, I would text him about it.

-=-

It was weird seeing Phil in our hallway, leading our hall meetings. I mean, he comes over sometimes, but he never led our meetings.

“Okay guys, I know there have been a lot of rumors circulating this weekend, and I will get to them, but first I want to talk to you guys about Holiday break.” Phil says. Austin was standing next to him. He continues to go on about how the resident halls are staying open for Thanksgiving break, but for Winter break they’ll be closing, so we needed start cleaning our shit up. Of course he didn’t say it like that.

“Alright, now for the rumors.” Phil sighs. “As many of you have heard, Austin got into a fight yesterday, and his place as a RA was up in the air.” Phil looks at me. “But you guys don’t need to worry, Austin’s place as a RA has been secured. He’s not going anywhere, this school year at least. However, I will be present at all of your hall meetings and room checks, so get used to seeing my face.” He smiles. “Anyway, my information is on the bulletin board over there, so feel free to contact me if you need to. But let me make this clear; Austin is still your RA, you still have to listen to and respect him. I’m just here to supervise. Alright, so if you have a question, you can come see Austin or myself. If not, feel free to go back to your lives.”

Vince goes back into our room and I walk over to where Austin and Phil were standing.

“Alan! I could kiss you right now. Thank you so much.” Austin says and hugs me tightly.

“Austin, he’s turning blue, it doesn’t go with that hair.” Phil laughs as Austin lets me go.

“Thanks, Phil.”

“So, I talked to Jerry this morning.” Phil says looking at me. He knows. He knows..

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he said that you’re very persuasive.”

“Well, I did get a B in debate class, so.” I smile.

“Yeah,” Phil says eyeing me. “Anyway, I have to get going. I have a hall meeting of my own to get to.” Phil says and walks down the hallway.

“So, you’re still coming to Thanksgiving at my house, right?” Austin asks me.

“Yeah, of course. I mean, if you still want me to.”

“Of course I do!”

“Alright, then I’ll come.” I smile.

“Awesome! I have some paperwork to do, but I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, lunch?”

“Of course. Thanks again, Alan.” He smiles and goes in his door.


	14. fourteen

“Alan!” I looked over to see Vince staring at me.

I took my headphones off and looked at him; my math teacher was a bitch. Who gives you an exam the day before Thanksgiving break? “What, Vince?”

“Um, Phil is here to see you.” He says quietly then grabs his backpack as Phil makes his way into my view.

Shit.

Phil grabs Vince’s desk chair and pulls it over to me. “You know why I’m here, don’t you?” He asks me looking directly in my eyes.

The thing about Phil is that he’s the nicest guy on the planet, yet he’s so intimidating. He’s gentle, but if  
you say the wrong thing, you can almost bet that he’d beat your ass.

“I have a pretty good idea.” I say turning my music off and setting my headphones on the desk.

He sits down and nods. “I’m just going to be blunt, because I think you can handle it, okay?” He says.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I know you had sex with Jerry.”

“Um,”

“Look, Alan. I’m not trying to pry into your business,”

“You aren’t? Because it kind of seems like you are.” I say looking at him.

“You need to tell Austin.” He says totally ignoring my comment.

I look at him. What does that even mean? “Why?”

“Because he’s going to find out eventually, Alan. If Jerry told me, you can bet he’s going to tell Austin when he gets the chance.” Phil taps his fingers on my desk.

“So, what you’re telling me is that Jerry just flat out told you that we had sex.”

“That’s exactly that I’m saying, Alan. I asked him what made him come talk to the dean, and he told me, and I quote, ‘Alan’s tight ass’, so of course I looked at him weird, because who even says that in a normal conversation, and he told me that you ‘fucked’ him so he would come talk to the dean.” He says adding air quotations around fucked.

“Oh,” I say quietly. Why was I even surprised?

“I just wanted to let you know, because if Austin hears about it from anyone else but you, he’s going to be really upset. At least if you tell him, he might not be as mad.” Phil stops and looks at me.

“It’s just, I’m embarrassed that I even did it, you know?” I say looking down.

He reaches out and pats my shoulder. “Alan, you’re a great friend, okay? I know that doesn’t make it better, but you are.” Phil gets up and puts Vince’s chair back. “Alan, if you need to talk, you know where my room is, okay?” And then he leaves.

I couldn’t tell Austin. What are the chances that Austin and Jerry would run into each other, anyway?

-=-

Austin didn’t have class today, and math was my last class, and as soon as I was done with my exam, I was off to hang out with Austin for four days.

_Shelly has 12 more suckers than chocolate bars. If she divides each in half, she will have enough to give each of her 32 co-workers a treat. How many chocolate bars does she have?_

Fuck if I know. This is why I have Justin do my math homework and online tests for me, so I can actually pass.

Luckily this test was multiple choice, I selected B and went on to the next question

-=-

I walked out of the classroom and went downstairs to the main lobby.

“Alan!” I look over to see Austin standing next to a group of benches. I smile and walk over to him.

“How’d your exam go?” He asks.

“Terrible, I’m awful at math.”

He slings his arm over my shoulder. “I’m sorry to hear that, but I bet a home cooked meal will make you feel better, huh?” He smiles. “Especially one made by yours truly!”

“That sounds amazing.” And it did, I was sick of McDonald's and shitty cafeteria food.

-=-

“Why did you wait until now to pack?” Austin asks from my desk chair, he had pulled it out so he wasn’t in my way.

“Well, I had a test to study for.” I say rolling my eyes. “You think it’s going to be around the same temperature?” I ask.

“Might want to bring something a little heavier than a hoodie, if you have it, just in case.” Austin smiles.

“Okay, ugh I hate packing.”

“You’re so dramatic, Ashby.” He laughs.

“I just don’t know what to pack.”

“Clothes, phone charger, your computer maybe? You’re going to be gone for four days, not a month.”

-=-

After I finally decided what to pack Austin and I made our way to his car, passing who else but Phil on the way down the stairs. He just gave me a look. I wasn’t going to tell him.

“You can just throw your bag in the back.” Austin says as he unlocks his car and climbs in.

“Your dad does know I’m coming, right?” I ask.

“Oh, yeah, Alan. He’s so excited. It’s our first Thanksgiving in a while with another person; it’s always just him and I.” He smiles.

“Alright, well I’m pretty excited, too.”

+++

After about 45 minutes of driving in a comfortable silence, the only words being spoken when Austin would point something out. “That’s where I saw my first drug deal go down.”, “My dad worked in there for a couple of months until he found his current job., “That’s where Tino and I went to middle school.” He smiled at each memory. It was really adorable.

Finally we pulled up to Austin’s apartment complex. A small, rundown network of buildings, four of them total, each two stories high. He parks in front of the complex labeled C and pulled out a small tag from his center console and attached it to his mirror. “I don’t want my car to get towed.” He smiles and gets out.

We get our bags out of the back seat and Austin messes around with his keychain as he walks to the door. I assume he found the right key because he opens the door and holds it for me. I move out of the way once I get inside and follow Austin down the hallway. An older lady was in the process of getting her mail.

“Hi, Mrs. Carter.” He smiles.

“Austin, is that you? How are you sweetie?” She smiles.

“I’m great, and you?”

“Oh, I’m hanging in there.” She grabs her mail. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Alan.”

“Hi.” I say quietly.

She says a hello back and then tells Austin and myself to have a good Thanksgiving, then returns to her apartment.

I follow Austin up the stairs. “Sorry about that, she used to watch me when I was younger.” He smiles and walks down the hallway to apartment 6 and opens the door with another key.

“My dad’s still working.” He says quietly and walks in. Austin’s apartment was not what I was expecting. There was wood paneling on the walls, dingy carpet on the floors, the linoleum in the kitchen was starting to peel. He bites his lip. “So um, I’ll give you the tour, I guess. We’ll start in my room so we can drop these bags off.” He gives me a small smile and I follow him to his room.

Austin’s room was extremely small, there was barely any room to walk because his bed took up a good half of the room. His bed was shoved in the corner, there was a small closet blocked by a garbage can across from his bed, and a dresser to the right. He sets his bag on the bed, then takes mine and does the same. “You’ll be in here.” He says.

“Where are you sleeping?”

“Couch.” He shrugs. “Come on.” He leads me into the hallway. “Um, this in the linen closet, there’ not much in there. Towels and stuff.” He points to another door across from his. “That’s my dad’s room. Really no reason to go in there.” He smiles.

He takes a few steps and opens a door on the same side of the hallway as the door to his dad’s room.

“This is the bathroom, the hot water really only works in the morning, um, the sink is broken, I have to fix it while I’m here, actually, but yeah, just use the one in the kitchen until I get to it.” He closes the door. “Also, the toilet works just fine.” He stops and looks at me. “For now, anyway.”

“You have a cat?” I question as I notice a gray cat lying on the back of the couch.

He smiles. “Yeah, that’s Augustus.”

“Is he nice?” I ask before walking over to pet him.

“Yeah, he might try to smell you, though. You can pet him.” He laughs.

I walk over quickly and pet him. “You’re so soft.” I say and Augustus starts purring softly. I smile and scratch his head then look at Austin so he can continue his tour.

“Right, well this is obviously the living room. Um, we don’t have cable, only basic channels, but we do have quite the collection of movies.” He looks around. “Um, you’ve already met Augustus, ah, the kitchen.” He walks over and I regretfully step away from Augustus and follow him into the kitchen.

“Um, here’s the fridge, there’s not much in it. We have to go grocery shopping soon.” He points to the sink. “There’s the only working sink, I mean, I’m sure you’d find it, but,” He stops and looks around.

“Cups are in that cabinet, uh, I think that’s basically it. Oh, and the table’s right there.” He points to a small wooden table with four chairs, only two of them matched.

I stood there awkwardly looking at him; I didn’t really know what to say.

“So, um, if you want we can head down to the store now. My dad won’t be back until way late, so.”

“That’s fine.” I smile. I think Austin was kind of embarrassed by his apartment, I mean, there was no reason to be. So it was in an iffy neighborhood and wasn’t brand new? It fit him and his dad obviously.

-=-

We drove the 4 miles to the grocery store. Austin had grabbed the list his dad left him along with a couple of crumpled twenties.

Austin grabs a small cart and heads over to the produce, I follow him. “We need potatoes…” He says scanning the various items in bins. “Do you see them?” He turns and asks me.

“Um, I see the bags of potatoes over there, so maybe like the individual ones are near there?” I suggest. I didn’t go grocery shopping unless I was home when mom went. But at least she knew where things were.

“Oh, that makes sense.” He smiles and pushes the cart over.

“You like mashed potatoes, right?” He asks picking up different potatoes and examining them.

“Yeah,”

“Alright, I was just checking.” He laughs.

-=-

We had finally gotten all of items on the list and Austin had paid for them.

“I hate grocery shopping.” He laughs as he grabs two of the three bags and unlocks the main door, I had the third bag and a case of coke/

“I know what you mean, my mom loves it though, it’s really weird.” I say following Austin up the stairs to his apartment.

“That is weird, why would buying food be enjoyable?” He laughs setting his bags on the table, then taking mine from me. Augustus, roused from his sleep by the noise of the bags crinkling came in to see what was going on.

“I think he likes you.” Austin smiles unloading the first bag. Potatoes, a couple cans of corn, five apples, some sugar cookie dough, and pie crusts.

I bend down to pet him, but he slinks away before jumping on the table to see what Austin was doing. “Auggie! Down.” He says scooting him away. He doesn’t listen and instead makes his way over to the window that the table was pushed in front of.

“Do you need help?” I ask Austin as he sets some things in the fridge.

“Oh, no, I got it. Thanks though.” He says as he unloads the next bag, some spaghetti and pasta sauce, for dinner tonight, a box of garlic bread, and a lighter.

I felt so awkward being here, I mean Austin wasn’t really talking to me, probably because he felt awkward as well. So I walked over to his cat and pet him until he started purring again.

“Do you want to eat dinner around 6?” Austin asks me, looking at the clock on the microwave. I look at it as well, it was around 4.

“That sounds good.”

-=-

“Tell me about your family, Alan?” Austin and I were lying on his bed.

“Uh, well, what do you want to know?”

He smiles and looks over. “Everything.”

I sigh. “Well, my dad is from Texas, he came up here to go to school because their engineering program is really good. He met my mom, who was going here for interior decorating, and they fell in love, that whole thing. Then they got married and my dad got offered a job in California and I was born. That’s it.”

“No siblings?”

“Nope, just me. I guess one ginger was enough.” I laugh

Austin smiles.

“What about you?” I ask.

“Well, it’s just been my dad and I for about three years. My mom passed away when I was 17.” He says quietly.

“Oh, I’m sorry Austin.” Way to go, Alan.

“Don’t be it’s fine.” He gives me a small smile. “Anyway, my dad works a couple of jobs because he insists on paying for as much of my schooling as he can. Which really bums me out, you know? Every extra penny he has goes in the bank, he hasn’t upgraded anything around here since I turned 15, if you can’t tell.” He laughs.

I give him a small smile.

“That’s why I wanted to be an RA, because your housing is paid for, so it’s a less of a burden for him, you know? So thanks again, for talking to Jerry, Alan.” He smiles at me really big.

“It’s no problem.”

_Why me?_


	15. fifteen

“Let’s go make dinner?” Austin asks sitting up. “I mean, if you’re hungry.” He gets off the bed and walks over to the door.

“I’ll be hungry by the time it’s done.” I shrug and roll so I can get off Austin’s bed with the minimum amount of effort. Austin just looks at me and smiles a little bit.

I follow him out to the kitchen, Augustus looking up at us as we pass him from his spot on the back of the couch.

Austin opens the fridge and pulls out the carton of mushrooms and the package of meat we had bought earlier.

“Can you chop these?” He asks setting the meat down on the counter and holding up the mushrooms to me.

“I can try.” I’ve never chopped vegetables in my life. When my parents were gone during a meal it was either pizza, drive and get a burger or something, or make some kind of microwave meal. I didn’t know how to cook.

He sets the carton down in front of me. “That’s all I can ask.” He smiles, then walks over to the wooden block on his counter and pulls out a large knife, then grabs a small wooden cutting board and hands them to me. “Shit, you need a bowl.” He mumbles to himself and walks over to the cabinet and pulls out a small white bowl with a blue lip and sets it down. “There you go.” He smiles then walks back over to the stove.

I take the plastic off the carton and take a mushroom out. “Austin?”

“Yeah?” He says pulling out a skillet.

“What do I do?” I sigh.

He laughs a little and walks over, taking the mushroom from me. “You see this stem thing?” He asks me, I nod. “Just break it off.” He breaks the stem. “Like that, let me see you do it.” I take another mushroom out and break the stem off. “Perfect, you’re a natural.” He set sthe top of the mushroom down on the cutting board and takes the knife off the table. “Now, you just want to cut this long ways, okay?” He quickly cuts the mushroom. “Okay, now just cut it again, but the other way. Does that make sense?” He asks as he cuts it the other way, then scoops them into the bowl.

“Yeah, I think I got it.”

“Try it?” He asks handing me the knife. Our fingers brush slightly. Austin looks down, avoiding eye contact with me.

-=-

Austin was stirring the sauce and the noodles together, then we could eat.

“You want to pick a movie?” He asks as he pulls the garlic bread out of the oven.

“Um, sure.” I say getting up, grabbing my unopened can of coke, and walking out into his living room.

Augustus looked up at me as I past him on the couch and over to the three, full, DVD stands. I scanned each one before settling on some Will Ferrell movie.

Austin comes out two minutes after I set the DVD case on the player; I didn’t know how to work it and didn’t feel like fucking everything up. He hands me a bowl of spaghetti, fork stuck right in the center with a slice of garlic bread on the side. “Thanks.” I smile at him as he sets his bowl on the small coffee table in front of us. “I didn’t know how to work the DVD player.”

“It’s okay, it’s ancient.” He laughs grabbing to the remote and kneels in front of the TV and DVD player, fiddling with things. “Elf?” He laughs.

“Hey, man, Zooey Deschanel.” I smile, even though he can’t see it.

“I thought you were gay.” He says standing up and walking over to the couch and sitting.

“I am, but I have a massive thing for her.”

-=-

It turns out that Austin is an amazing cook. We had finished Elf and it was getting close to eleven.

“You look tired.” Austin points out as he hands me a Tupperware container to put the leftover spaghetti in.

“Just a little.” I say scooping the food into the container, he was cleaning the dishes.

“Alright, well I’ll just get my clothes out my room, then you get to sleep.” He smiles.

“Austin, I’ll sleep on the couch. I’ll fit better anyway; you’re going to be hanging off it.”

Austin sighs. “Alan, it’s fine. You’re the guest.”

“No, Austin. Your couch is really comfortable. I’m not going to be happy if you sleep there.”

“Whatever, Alan.” He says slapping my arm with the dish towel.

-=-

“You sure you’re comfortable?” Austin asks. He was standing at the end of the couch, next to the table lamp.

I pulled the blanket up closer to my chin. “Yeah.”

“Warm enough?”

“Mhm.”

“Alright, night, Alan.” He smiles and turns off the light, then makes his way down the hallway.

-=-

**Bang!**

I pulled the blanket up to my chin and looked around the best I could. I could see Augustus in the red glow from the neon sign from the 24/7 Walgreens across the street. He must’ve heard the bang as well.

**Bang!**

Augustus jumped down and skittered off somewhere. I looked at the clock on the DVD player, it was around 3, Austin’s dad wouldn’t be home until at 5, so I really wasn’t sure what that noise was.

**Bang!**

Oh hell no. I was not going to stay out here. What if Austin’s apartment was haunted or something? I slowly got up, grabbing my pillow and basically ran to Austin’s door.

I could see that the light was on by the glow coming from under the door. I knocked quietly and waited.

**Bang!**

I knocked a little louder. How could he not hear this?

Still nothing, I open the door a little bit to see Austin passed out a book about Washington, D.C., laid on his chest.

I walk in and try to close the door quietly.

**Bang!**

Fuck that, I ran and dove into bed with Austin.

“Alan?” Austin looks over at me; confused. “What?”

“There’s a ghost in your apartment.” I say getting under his comforter. I didn’t care if he thought this was weird. I wasn’t sleeping alone when some phantom menace was creeping around.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He mumbles and dog ears the page he was on, setting the book on his bedside table.

“I heard a bang outside,” I say quietly getting my pillow situated.

“It was the garbage truck, Alan.” He laughs quietly, turning to look at me.

“I’ve heard a garbage truck and that was not one of them.” I say turning to face the wall.

“Whatever you say.” He says.

“Night, Austin.”

“Night.” He says scooting a little bit closer and snuggling up to me. His head on my pillow and his left arm slung around my waist. Basically spooning me.

Oh, no. This was not going to end well.

+++

I felt the bed move and heard the door open. I rolled over to see Austin’s alarm clock’s bright red letters reading 5:43; maybe Austin went to talk to his dad. Austin had left the bedroom door cracked a little, I could see the bathroom light turn on, then the door close.

I ran my tongue along my teeth, they felt all fuzzy and nasty; I think I had forgotten to brush them before I fell asleep. I rolled over to Austin’s side, it still warm from where he was sleeping. I got out of bed and tiptoed to the door, there was a light shining under Austin’s dad’s door, good, that meant that he wasn’t in the kitchen, saving me from an awkward moment with him.

I walked through the door and past Austin’s dad’s room, trying to be quiet, the last thing I wanted to do was wake him up or something.

-=-

I got back in the position I was in before Austin left. Shortly after, he came back, closing the door quietly behind him. I hear him walk over to the bed and feel the dip of him climbing in. He doesn’t go back to his position of spooning me, kind of making me sad. What if he felt weird because of Shayley?

-=-

When I woke up at 10, Austin was already up. I grabbed some clothes from my suitcase and went into the bathroom and got a quick shower.

I got dressed, threw my clothes in my suitcase then ventured out into the kitchen.

Augustus looks up from the back of the couch, then stretches.

“Hey, Alan.” Austin smiles from the couch; he was watching tv and eating a bowl of cereal.

“Hey,”

“You want some cereal?”

“Um, I’m not really hungry.” I say from the entry to the hallway.

“Oh, okay. Um, you can come watch tv with me. The parade’s still on.”

I bite my lip and walk over to the couch, moving my blanket out of the way and sit next to him.

“You okay?” He asks turning to look at me.

“Huh? Yeah.” No.

I turn to look at the tv, but I can see him squinting at me through my peripheral vision. I kind of turn a little to look at him.

“What’s that?” He asks kind of pointing at my neck.

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“On your neck; is that,” he leans a little closer. “A bite mark?”

I was so confused. “I don’t think so.”

“It looks like it, like someone just bit you, almost like a hickey or something.”

Fuck. Jerry.

“Um, no. Maybe I scratched myself.”

“Bullshit, Alan.” He says getting back into his normal position. “Who gave you that?” He smiles.

I sit quietly, him still looking at me.

“Was it Justin?”

“What? No.” I exclaim. Seriously? Justin?

“Hm,”

“Austin, it’s nothing.”

“No, I’m going to guess. Ah, Vince?”

“Are you insane?” I laugh.

“I have no idea; those are the only people you hang out with.” He turns to look at the tv, biting his lip.

Maybe he’ll drop it. If I was going to tell him, I didn’t want it to be like this.

“Want to help me bake cookies? It’s kind of a Thanksgiving tradition.” Austin looks at me after he stands up.

“Um, sure?” I say getting up. Aren’t cookies for Christmas or something?

“Awesome, let’s go.” He says grabbing my hand and drags me into the kitchen.

-=-

Austin got the cookie dough out of the fridge, something about it being easier, then sprinkled the table with some flour.

“Please tell me you’ve baked cookies before.” He says grabbing a rolling pin from one of the drawers  
and a cookie cutter.

“Um, yeah. I haven’t been living under a rock.” I say rolling my eyes.

“Yeah, okay. Says the one who didn’t know how to cut a mushroom.” He teases.

“Okay, Austin.” I say grabbing some flour off the table and rubbing it on Austin’s cheek.

“Really? Ashby!” He says grabbing a pinch of flour and rubbing it in my hair.

“That was just uncalled for!” I say and grabbing a handful of flour out of the bin on the table with my right hand.

“Don’t you dare, Ashby.” He smiles and grabs my wrists.

“What are you going to do, Carlile?” I say, tempted to release the flour in my hand at him, but I didn’t.

Austin pushes me back into the fridge behind me and kind of just stares me down. “Drop it.” He says quietly.

“I can’t hear you.” I say almost as quietly. This was honestly kind of hot.

“Drop it.” He almost growls. Fuck.

I shake my head.

“Alan,” He moves in closer. “Drop the flour.”

I shake my head again. I wasn’t going to drop this flour, because as soon as I did, he would break our closeness.

He moves a little bit closer, staring into my eyes. “ _Fuck,_ ” He breathes. I could barely hear him. He closes the tiny gap between us, his lips on mine. I feel my eyes close. His right hand lets go of my left wrist, I immediately move my left hand to his face, where the flour was. He brings his hand down to my hip, but he doesn’t really do anything with it, just leaves it there.

I let go of the flour in my right hand. Austin must’ve realized the flour was gone, or he just didn’t care because he lets go of my other wrist and puts his left hand on my hip. He pulls me closer and I move my other hand to cup his face.

His tongue runs along my bottom lip and I open my mouth to let him in. I had wanted this for so long; I couldn’t believe it was happening. He tasted like cinnamon and heaven and everything I could’ve ever imagined.

After a few more seconds Austin starts to pull back, I reluctantly let him. I wanted to stay like this forever, to be honest.

When he’s out of grasp, I open my eyes. Austin was looking down. “I guess I better clean this up.” He says.


	16. sixteen

Austin didn’t really talk to me while he was making dinner. He did mention that his dad would be up around 5, so that’s when he had to have dinner done. I offered to help him several times, but he just shrugged and insisted that he could handle it, leaving me to watch that weird dog show that’s on after the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

I felt awkward just sitting here. I got my phone and quickly texted Justin.

_Um, so Austin kissed me earlier…and now he won’t talk to me. Fml._

I locked my phone and turned to Augustus who was sitting on the couch next to me. He mews at me and changes positions. I sighed and grabbed my phone when it started buzzing.

_WHAT?! HE KISSED YOU? ALAN!_

I got up, taking my phone with me, and walked back to Austin’s room, closing the door quietly.

I went to Justin’s contact information and pressed call.

It rang before Justin picked up. “Alan! Details now!” I could almost see his face.

“Well, this is so awkward, Justin, I’m in his room.” I say sitting on Austin’s bed.

“Is he in there with you?” He questions.

“Obviously not.” I roll my eyes

“Anyway,” Justin says, he probably rolled his eyes as well. “What happened?”

“Well, I was helping him bake cookies, well; we didn’t even get that far. He made fun of me for not being able to cut a mushroom, so I put flour on his face, and he put some in my hair, then I got a big handful of it and he grabbed my wrists and pushed me against the fridg---”

“That sounds really hot.” Justin says.

“It was, and then he was like ‘drop it,’ and I refused and he like growled at me,” I say remembering the event that happened like six hours ago, it didn’t seem like that long.

“Shit, Alan.”

“I know.” I sighed.

“And then he kissed you?”

“Yeah,” I smile.

“Was there tongue?”

“A little.”

I hear Justin sigh. “Someone had a happy Thanksgiving.”

“Well, no, not really. He hasn’t really talked to me since. I’ve asked him questions, like ‘can I help with dinner?’ and he’s like ‘no, I got it,’ and then goes back to what he’s doing.”

“Maybe he feels weird.”

“Well, I feel weird, too.”

“Why?”

“Because he won’t talk to me, I think he feels weird because of Shayley maybe?”

“Ugh, Shayley.” Justin says.

“I know, like last night I got scared because there was a ghost in his apartment,” I stop as Justin starts laughing. “Shut up, Justin. It was terrifying. Anyway, I ended up sleeping in his bed and he spooned me for a while, like it was almost kind of awkward, but regardless, he woke up and went to the bathroom and when he came back, he didn’t do it again.”

“Hm, I don’t know, Alan. Maybe you should just talk to him. And if he doesn’t talk back, just kiss him?  
I don’t know, that’s probably not good advice, I’m kind of stoned right now, if we’re being honest.”

“Of course you are. Are you with Jon?”

“Yeah, he went to go get more beer. Happy Thanksgiving to me.”

“You aren’t with your parents?”

“Well, I was supposed to be, but I wasn’t feeling it this year, so I’m at Jon’s.”

“Oh, got you.” I say as there is a knock on the door, Austin opens a little and peeks his head in.

“Justin, I have to go, okay?”

“Talk to and/or kiss him, Alan!” He laughs then hangs up.

“Hey, sorry.” I say to Austin.

“Um, it’s no problem. I just didn’t know where you went.” He gives a nervous laugh.

“Yeah…” I say and get up.

“Dinner’s almost ready, so, um.” He says then walks towards the kitchen.

I sigh. Why did he have to do this? I walked out into the living area; Austin was in the kitchen stirring something. I was going to talk to him. I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the table.

“Austin.”

“Yeah, Alan?” He says not looking at me, continuing to stir whatever it was in the pot on the stove.

“Can I talk to you, please?” I ask, almost begging.

“Alan, I’m trying to do something, okay, maybe later.” He sighs taking the spoon out of the pot and setting it on stove.

-=-

“So, Alan, do you have a major yet?” Austin’s dad asks me right when I stick a bite of turkey in my mouth. Austin looks up from his plate at me.

“Um,” I swallow. “Not really.”

“Oh, do you know what you’re interested in?”

“Not math.” I smile. Austin’s dad smiles, too. Then there’s awkward Austin just moving food around on his plate.

“Well, I don’t think anyone blames you there.” He says taking a bite of some corn.

“I kind of like music, but, I don’t know.” I shrug.

“Like playing?” He asks.

“Yeah, a little, just guitar though. But I also like animals, so who knows. I guess I have some time to think about it.”

“Well, you know, Austin was in a band for a while, back when he was in high school. He did that yelling thing, what’s it called? Screaming. Yeah.” Austin’s dad smiles.

Austin looks down. “Dad…” He was obviously embarrassed by his former band participation.

“What was it called, Aust? Defense Defense or something?”

“Attack Attack.” He sighs.

“That’s right, nearly blew my ear drums out the couple of times I went to see him, but I was proud of him.” He supportively pats Austin on the back.

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Austin on stage screaming. I would love to see that, to be honest.

“He used to open for that Jerry kid’s band, right Austin? That’s how you met Shay, right?”

It’s all starting to make sense.

“Dad,” Austin looks uncomfortable.

“What, Austin?”

“It’s just, you know how I feel about Jerry, let’s just not bring him up.” He sighs looking at his dad.

“Shit, Aust, I’m sorry.” His dad apologizes.

Austin looks at me; I could tell he was thinking things were clicking together. He knew. He knew.

He was putting the pieces together. Austin’s eyes go from confused to pissed in a matter of a few seconds.

I looked down at my plate; I suddenly wanted to stick my head in the oven.

++++

Austin and I cleaned everything up while Austin’s dad got ready to go to work.

“We need to talk.” Austin was pissed. He throws the rest of the turkey into a small Tupperware and shoves it in the fridge.

“Austin, I---” I start but Austin just walks away and over to the couch, not sitting, but standing behind it. He was quietly counting.

Austin’s dad comes out his room and notices Austin standing next to the couch. He walks over and rubs his back a little, I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I’m assuming it was something to try to get him to calm down.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Alan.” His dad smiles at me as he grabs his keys and closes the door.

I didn’t know what to do, so I stood at my place at the kitchen counter. I hear some shuffling coming from the living room, then Austin appears in the doorway. He looks like he’s calmed down a little.

“Hey,” I say quietly.

“Can we talk in the living room?” He asks.

I nod and follow him over to the couch. We both sit down, where we sat last night when we had dinner.

“I don’t,” He sighs. “Alan, just tell me the truth. What happened with Jerry?” He says running his hand through his hair. “When you went to talk to him.”

I bit my lip and look down at my blanket, that was kind of barrier between us. Not a real effective one, but it was still a barrier.

“He wasn’t going to talk to her, Austin. I did what I had to.” I look up at him and bite my lip.

His eyes get a little wider. “You didn’t Alan.”

I look down and nod. “I had sex with him.” I say quietly.

Austin remains quiet; I felt the tears starting to roll down my face. This day started out so good, and now it was terrible. I look up at Austin. He was looking at the ceiling, his eyes shining like he had been crying.

“Austin,” I barely hear myself say it. “Please talk to me.”

He turns to look at me. “I knew it.” He shakes his head. “I knew it.”

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, Alan. I’m mad at myself. I fucking drove you there. I knew in my gut that this was going to happen and I still let you do it.” More tears well up in his eyes. I move the blanket out of the way and get on my knees so I can see into his eyes. “It’s my fault, Alan. It’s my fault that you felt like you had to fix this.”

“Austin, it’s not your fault.” I say reaching out to his face and wipe his tears away with my thumbs. “I chose to do it. It’s not your fault.”

“Alan, I’m so sorry.” Some more tears fall on his face and I pull him towards me, so he can cry on my shoulder. I felt so bad for him. It wasn’t his fault. It was my fault, like I had told him, I made the decision to do what I had to do to fix the problem I had caused.

“Austin, it’s fine, please stop blaming yourself. It’s not a big deal.” I guess that in actuality, it was a big deal, but I could handle it as long as Austin wasn’t mad at me. I just hope he can forgive himself for the pain that he _thinks_ he has caused.

“I guess…” He says into my shirt. I knew this wasn’t going to be the end of this conversation, but, for now, this was it.

-=-

“Hey, is this okay?” Austin holds up some movie, it had kind of a scary looking cover, but at this point I would probably fall asleep anyway.

“Yeah,”

“Do you want to make some popcorn? It’s going to take a minute to set this up.” He looks at me.

“Sure, where is it?”

“Top cabinet next to the fridge.”

I get up and walk into the kitchen and over to the cabinet and pull out the box of popcorn. I grabbed a bag and took the plastic off, shoved it in the microwave then stood there and waited. “Austin?” I yell so he can hear me. “Where are the bowls?”

“Um, next to the stove!” He calls back. I open the cabinet and pull out a bowl that would fit the popcorn.

The microwave beeped and I grabbed the bag out, shaking it so the butter would get off the sides and on to the rest of the popcorn.

-=-

I set the two cokes on the table, then placed the bowl next to them.

“Thanks.” Austin says messing around with the dvd player.

“Is it going to work?” I ask sitting on the couch.

“Yeah, honestly, I was texting Phil.” He laughs and gets up, turning the lights.

“Oh,” I open my can of coke and Austin sits on the couch next to me, then starts the movie.

-=-

I had the blanket up to my face, I just knew something bad was going to happen. I watched as some sheet ends up in the middle of the kitchen, under it the shape of a child. Then it disappeared.

“No. Okay, we’re done with this movie, Austin.” I say covering my eyes.

“Are you serious? It’s not even that scary.” He laughs.

“Austin, I’m scared of ghosts.” I sigh covering my face with the blanket. I hear him grab the remote and pause the movie.

He pulls the blanket off my face. “You’ll be fine.” He assures me, pulling me closer to him. I was so happy he wasn’t mad at me.

I cuddled into him, my head kind of awkwardly resting on his side, his left arm around me, rubbing my back a little. He turns the movie back on. I could get used to cuddling with him like this.

-=-

The movie finally ended. It was an hour and half of pure terror.

“Ready to go to bed?” Austin asks.

I move over a little so he can get up, which he does, and goes over to the dvd player. “Not really.” I mumble.

“Why not?” He asks putting the dvd in the case and smiling at me.

“Because I’m scared.” I pull the blanket back up to my face.

“Alan, I’m not going to let a ghost get you. I promise.” He laughs putting the case back with the other  
movies, then walks over to me, extending his hand. “Come on.”

I sigh and take it.

-=-

We had brushed our teeth and ended up back in Austin’s room.

“Still scared?” Austin asks climbing into bed. He had gone to the bathroom.

“Yes.” I roll my eyes and get under the blanket.

“Hm,” he smiles and gets in next to me.

“What?”

“I just don’t understand why you’re so scared of ghosts.” He says turning to look at me, while still remaining on his back.

“Because they’re scary. Obviously.”

-=-

Austin had fallen asleep about an hour ago, but I couldn’t fall sleep. Every time I would hear a creak or something outside, my eyes would open. Stupid Austin and that dumb movie.

I looked over to Austin, sleeping away. How did that stuff not bother him? I bit my lip and scooted closer to him. “Aus?” I whisper, kind of poking him. He stirred a little in his sleep, but did nothing. “Austin.” I say a little louder. “Hm,” He turns a little. “Austin.” I kind of shake him and he opens his eyes quickly, staring at me.

“What Alan?” He says quietly.

“I can’t sleep.” I say positioning myself so I could look at him.

He sighs “What am I supposed to do about it?”

I bit my lip. “I don’t know, it’s your fault.”

“Um, no.” He smiles. He looked so attractive right now; illuminated only by the same red light from the Walgreen’s you could see in the living room, and a little bit of moonlight.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Please accept my apology.” He smirks.

I hesitate for a moment, then lean down and kiss his cheek. I feel my cheeks get warm and I pull back, trying not to look at him.

“Alan…” He says sitting up.

Our faces were close, not as close as they were earlier, but still close. I was looking down still; I didn’t want him to see me blushing. That could be really embarrassing.

“Alan,” He says again.

I decide to look at him, because he was just going to keep saying my name until I did. He smiles a little bit when I do. He reaches out his hand and caresses my cheek a little bit. His hands were kind of rough, but I liked it. He leans and gives me a quick peck on the lips, then pulls away an inch or two, still keeping his hand on my face. I decided that I was going to do this. I was going to kiss him, just like Justin had told me to. I lean in and closed the space, placing my lips on his. Austin pulls me closer, moving his hand to the back of neck. I moved closer and Austin pulled back.

“Alan…” He breathed, resting his forehead against mine; he pulls his right hand up to my face, moving his thumbs over where I was blushing.

“Aus,” I say back quietly, moving my left hand to his waist, messing with the hem of his shirt.

He leans in and kisses me again.

-=-

It went on like that for another hour. We’d kiss for about five minutes, then we stop and Austin would cup my face and look into my eyes, getting me to blush like a middle school girl, then I’d kiss him.

Now it was morning. Austin was still sleeping. He looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake him, and if I moved, I would wake him, leaving me confined to the side of the bed next to the wall.

I wonder if last night would change anything between us.


	17. seventeen

The next two days of break went by way too quickly. Austin and I didn’t really do anything; we basically watched movies and cuddled for two days straight, sometimes kissing, just a little bit.

“Ready?” Austin asks. Austin’s dad was off tonight, so he could spend a little time with Austin before we left.

“Yeah.” I give him a small smile. Austin hugs his dad and it’s really sweet how much Austin loves him. It made me miss my own dad.

“Alan, you’re always welcome here, okay?” Austin’s dad says giving me a quick hug.

“Thanks,” I smile.

-=-

Austin had walked me to my room, well, I guess, he didn’t go straight to his.

“Alright, Alan, I’ll be right down the hall, so if there’s a ghost in here you can come get me and I’ll get my proton pack out and get it for you.”

“You’re an ass.” I smile a little as I open my door.

“That was an uncalled for.” I could almost hear the smirk in voice.

I turn around after the door was open. “Don’t you have some paperwork to do?” I ask.

“Alan!” He whines. “I don’t want to fill out stupid paperwork.” He sighs.

“Well that’s what you get for being a junior.” I smile at him.

He sighs. “I know,” He looks down. “well, I guess I better go get started.”

“Yeah, you better.”

“Seriously, though, if you need me, I’ll be in my room.” He smiles then grabs his bag off the floor and  
walks down to his room.

I sighed and walked into my room. This was going to be so boring. Justin wasn’t coming back until tomorrow, I had no idea when Vince would be back, but he wasn’t in the room, so who knows.

At least it was close to a respectable time to go to sleep.

-=-

I woke up to Vince accidently slamming the door. I looked over at him. “Hey Vince.” I mumble.

“Sorry, Alan, did I wake you?

“Yeah, but I needed to wake up anyway, what time is it?” I ask sitting up.

“Around noon.” He says opening his fridge and shoving stuff in.

“Oh. Thanks. Did you have a nice break?” I ask as I hop down on my desk.

“Yeah, it was awesome. What about you?” He asks.

“Mine was good.” I smile. Really good. I grabbed some clothes out my drawers and my  
toothbrush and toothpaste and made my way to the bathroom.

-=-

Vince wasn’t in the room when I got back, but his keys were. I walked over to my desk, threw my clothes in the laundry basket, grabbed my keys and phone, and walked over to the door. I didn’t know where Vince went and if he would be back soon, so I unlocked the door so he could get in.

Off to Justin’s room I go.

-=-

I walked through the door labeled North and immediately wanted to jump out of a window. Phil was carefully taking the bright yellow paper off the bulletin board, which of course was right next to Justin’s room.

The door closed behind me, with a thud and Phil turned around.

“Alan? Hey!” He says getting off his stepstool, folding the paper evenly.

“Hey, Phil.” I say quietly.

“Um, so I know you’re probably over here to talk to Justin, but, can I talk to you?”

Again?

“Yeah, sure.”

“Awesome. Just let me put this in the closet.” He says getting his keys out and walks over to a door  
next to the bathroom.

“Does our hallway have one of those?” I ask him.

“No, we share this one.” He shrugs walking in.

“Oh,”

He walks out and locks the door. “Alright, so we can just go in my room, now.”

Phil walks over to his door and opens it and I follow him in.

His and Aaron’s room was set up kind of like Austin and Tino’s. Their closets were on the same wall as the door, a bed pushed up against the far wall across from the closets. The other bed was in front of it, across from their dressers, which were stacked, and had a huge TV on top of them, an Xbox was hooked up to it. Next to the dressers was a bookshelf, where their Xbox sat along with various food items, books, video games, and movies. Their fridges were stacked on the other side of the bookshelf. There was a desk next to that, in front of the window, which I assumed belonged to the bed shoved against the wall, because while both beds were lofted, only the one across from the dressers had a desk under it. The other bed had two beanbag looking chairs under it.

“Um, you can just sit wherever you’re comfortable.” He says. No wonder Phil was probably going to be senior RA next year. He has his shit together.

I decided to sit in one of the beanbag chairs; the one that was kind of hidden by the other bed.

“What did you need to talk to me about?” I ask quietly. Honestly, Phil still intimidated the hell out of me.

“Well,” Phil sits down on the blue beanbag. “Austin told me he talked to you, and I just wanted to see how you were feeling.”

“Um, what do you mean?” I ask him.

“About the whole situation, Alan, like do you have any,” he stops and does a weird motion with hands.  
“emotions; anger, sadness?”

I feel myself give him a weird look. “I don’t think so?” I half-lie. If I was going to talk to anyone about this, it wasn’t going to be him.

“Well, okay. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I guess that’s the Psychologist in me.” He says quietly. “If you need to talk about anything, Alan. You know where I am.”

“Yeah, thanks Phil. But um, I’m going to go now.” I say getting up.

“Yeah, of course.”

-=-

I knocked on Justin’s door three times. I could hear the TV on, so I knew someone was in there. I sighed and opened the door. Justin was laying in his bed, eyes fixed on _Keeping Up With The Kardashians_. Shit. He was upset, when he’s upset about something he only watches TV shows with at least one Kardashian in it. I experienced this when he got a B- on his calculus homework two weeks into the semester.

“Justin? What’s wrong?” I ask closing the door behind me.

“Alan?” He shovels a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

I walk over and take the tub of ice cream away from him. “You’re not eating all of this.” I grab the lid and put it on, then throw it in his freezer. Then walk back over to him and take the spoon from him and throw it away.

“I was eating that!” He whines.

“I don’t care, what’s wrong?” I ask getting into his bed.

He sighs and pulls out a bag of Hershey’s kisses from next to him and unwraps one. “Jon and I broke up.”

“Excuse me, what?” I ask.

He sighs. “We got into a huge fight on Friday because I said he was acting like a child.”

“What did he do?”

“He like got mad at me because I wanted to actually go on a date with him and not just spend the whole day fucking.” He sighs and unwraps another Hershey kiss. “It was just stupid, like whatever, forget him.”

I climb over to him and snuggle up to him. “You could do better, Jus.”

“I know, but I just care about him a lot, you know? And I know he’s going to call tomorrow and I’ll probably take him back, like I do every time.”

“Just ignore his calls, okay? It’ll be fine.”

“I’ll try.” He gives me a small smile.

-=-

Justin cried a little bit, then fell asleep, so I took that as my cue to remove the chocolate from his bed, turn off Kardashians and walk back to my room.

“Oh, hey Alan.” Austin says, he was standing in front of my door.

“Hey,” I say moving past him to get to door.

“I was just looking for you.” He smiles.

“Oh, were you?” I walk in and set my keys down on Vince’s desk. “You can come in.” I smile.

He walks in closes the door to where it was only open a crack.

“So, it’s close to dinner time.” He says.

I turn to look at him. “Yeah, are you heading over there?” I ask while texting my mom back really quick; she wanted to know how my Thanksgiving was.

“Um, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go grab some pizza?” He asks quickly. “I mean, Tino and Pen are going, too.”

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.” I smile. “Are we going soon?”

He smiles. “Yeah, like in like, fifteen minutes.”

“Awesome, yeah, I’ll meet you at your room, then? My mom wants me to call her.”

“Yeah, I-um, I’ll let you do that.” He says then leaves.

I think I just got asked out on a date?

-=-

“Hey mama.” I say, I was sitting on dresser.

“Baby! How are you?”

I smile a little. “I’m good, how are you and dad?”

“Oh, we’re doing fine. Even better now that I’ve finally heard your voice.”

I laugh a little. “Yeah, sorry about that. I got a little caught up with school.” and boys.

“Oh, sweetie, it’s fine. How was your Thanksgiving? You went to your RA’s house, right?”

“Yeah, mom it was great. It wasn’t as good as yours, but I don’t think anyone can cook like you.”

“Oh, sweetie!” I could hear the smile in her voice. “So have you booked your flight for Christmas break yet? I can’t wait to see you and just hold my baby.”

Oh lord. “Not yet; mom. I’ve been looking though. I’m still not sure what day I’m leaving yet.” I hadn’t been looking at all.

“Well, you need to get on that. I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

“I know.”

“So, do you have a boyfriend yet?”

I cringe. I bet she was standing at kitchen counter right now, scrubbing something off it. That’s how she always was when she asked me this question. “No, there was this one guy that I liked for a while, but I’m over him.”

“Aw, I’m sorry, sweetie. Has anyone else caught your eye?”

“Yeah,” I smile.

“Oh, honey, tell me about him.”

“Um, maybe later,” I say glancing at the microwave clock. “I’m going out for pizza with a couple of friends.”

“Aw, okay, Alan. I love you, sweetie, so does your dad.”

“I love you guys, too.”

“Please call us more, we worry about you.”

“I’ll try mom.”

“That’s all I can ask. I love you, bye.” She hangs up and I hit the end button on my phone.

-=-

Austin opens my door a little bit. “Alan? Do you have pants on?” He asks.

“That’s such a weird question, but yeah.” I laugh.

He opens the door the rest of the way.

“We’re going to meet Tino and Pen over at the commons. Penelope just got off work.”

“Oh, okay.” I say and get out my phone to text Justin.

Austin walks over to me. “By the way, it’s pretty cold out.”

“Is it?” I say and click on Justin’s name, then type out; going out with Austin……and Tino and Pen, text me if you need me, love you :*

“Yeah.” He laughs as I lock my phone and jump off my dresser.

“Is a hoodie going to be warm enough?” I ask.

“Um, probably not for your California blood.” He smiles.

“And where is your blood from?” I ask walking over to my closet.

“Texas.” He laughs.

“Really? Then why are you only wearing something a little heavier than a hoodie?” I ask pulling out a  
thick hoodie. I would be fine.

“Um, because I’ve adjusted.” He says as I pull the jacket over my head and shove my phone in the kangaroo pocket.

“Yeah okay, let’s go.” I say grabbing my keys off Vince’s desk and walking to the door.

“Wait.” He says.

“What?” I questioned as he walks closer to me.

He leans down and places his lips on mine for only a few seconds, then pulls away. “You look really good in gray.” He smiles then walks towards the door.

_Really?_

-=-

Austin and I get down into the main lobby when he gets a text from Tino.

“Change of plans, Ashby. We’re now meeting them at the pizza place.” He says and shoves his phone back into his pocket. “So, to my car we go.” He smiles at me. I follow him to the back door, where the student lot was.

-=-

“This pizza place is really awesome, Alan.” Austin smiles backing out of his parking space.

“Really? Why?”

“Well, it’s been around almost as long as the school, well, it wasn't a pizza place, but just like a restaurant.” He starts, going to the exit of the lot. “So they have all of this really cool stuff from the school over the years. Like menus, sports uniforms, even some of their tables are back from the school’s old cafeteria.” He smiles. He’s such a nerd.

“That sounds interesting.”

“I promise it is way more awesome than it sounds.”

-=-

Austin was right. The pizza place was kind of sketchy looking from the outside, but once you got inside it was covered in pictures, murals, and shadow boxes filled with old items.

“Tino said they’re in the back corner.” Austin says over the background noise, which there was a lot of.

He grabs my hand and drags me back to a small booth in the corner. The table obviously old, names written all over it in multicolored permanent marker.

“Austin! Alan!” Penelope cheers as we get to the table. Tino looks up from the picture he was drawing on the table.

Austin moves so I can slide in the booth and then he gets in next to me. “How are you Alan?” Penelope asks.

“Oh, good. How are you?” I ask.

“Great!” She smiles.

A tall brunette guy comes over. “Oh, man! I got you losers?” He sarcastically says.

“Jared!” Tino and Austin yell at the same time.

“You two better tip me good for having to deal with you.” He smiles. “And who are our dates?” He smiles.

“This is Penelope my girlfriend.” He smiles. She waves and says hello.

Jared looks at Austin. “And who is this tiny ginger boy, Austin?” Jared smiles at him.

Austin looks down. “This is Alan.”

“Hi.” I say quietly. This just got significantly awkward.

Jared obviously notices the awkwardness because he doesn’t skip a beat before asking us our drink orders.

-=-

“Who’s he?” I ask quietly once Jared leaves.

“Oh, we come here all the time we kind of befriended him. His family owns this place.” Tino shrugs.

“Hm,” I say and look down at the table. Lots of I love ____________ and dates.

“So, Alan,” Penelope starts, I look up at her. “you excited for Christmas break?” She asks.

I smile a little. “Yeah, I’m sick of this cold weather.”

“Oh, that’s right, you’re from California.” She smiles.

Thankfully Jared comes back with our drinks because I had no idea what to even say to her.

-=-

“How was your Thanksgiving, Tino?” Austin asks once Jared leaves again. We had ordered a large pepperoni lovers and an order of breadsticks.

“It was good; I mean I had two Thanksgivings so clearly it was awesome.” Tino smiles.

“Yeah, he came over to my house and met my parents.” Penelope blushes.

“Uh oh.” Austin smiles. “Getting pretty serious, huh?”

Penelope looks down and stirs her tea a little. Tino looks down as well, a pink tint under his beard. It was kind of adorable

-=-

Austin and I left to go back to the dorm after that. I tried to get Austin to let me pay for myself, but he insisted on paying for both of us. Maybe it was a date.

“Did you have fun?” Austin asks as we walk to his car. Penelope and Tino had gone in the opposite direction to go to a local ice cream shop.

“Yeah, Penelope’s really nice.” I smile as I open the passenger side door.

He nods as he gets in on the driver’s side. “So, what’s going on with Justin?” He asks. He had asked me if talked to him while we were eating.

“He and Jon broke up and he’s really upset about it.” I put my seatbelt on.

“Oh, right. That sucks.” He says pulling out of his parking space.

-=-

Austin and I walk to my room in pretty much near silence. We did laugh together about some kid nearly falling down the stairs in the main lobby. Austin mostly looked like he was thinking, so I didn’t want to bother him.

I put my key in the lock with Austin standing behind me. I open it a little to see Vince and Shawna cuddled up on the bed watching some TV show.

“Awkward.” I mumble then close it.

Austin smiles a little bit. “Well, since that’s probably going to be extremely awkward, you want to come down to my room and watch Easy A?” Austin asks shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket. Austin and I were going to try and watch it at his house, but Redbox didn’t have it.

“Um, yeah. That sounds awesome actually.” I smile. “I just have to grab my charger and go check on Justin really quick.”

“Oh, yeah. Of course, take your time.” He smiles then backs up and walks down to his room.

-=-

I went and brushed my teeth really quick, because garlic breath is not cute, then changed quickly into a pair of basketball shorts, because I wasn’t sure if I was staying over there. I wanted to. Austin was good cuddler and who wouldn’t want to sleep next to the guy they like? I grabbed my charger then walked over to Justin’s room.

Luckily Phil wasn’t out in the hallway putting up a new bulletin board design when I got over there. I saw some writing on Justin’s board, but I couldn’t read it where I was so I got a little closer.

_Alan, I went to go get more ice cream and if I’m back im probably eating it and I don’t want to be disturbed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.  
\- Justin <3_

Well, that takes care of that.

-=-

I was standing in front of Austin’s door. I wasn’t sure if I should knock or just open it. I just opened Justin’s door because he told me too, he’s lazy and doesn’t like to get up to open the door. But I wasn’t sure with Austin, so I knocked.

A few seconds later Austin opens the door. “Alan, hey. I was just picking up.” He smiles then moves out of the way of the door so I could come in.

The room somehow smelled like cupcakes, which I thought was really weird, but I wasn’t going to ask.

“Austin, is there a plug next to your bed?” I ask while walking closer.

“Yeah, you can unplug my charger. My battery lasts forever.” He smiles. I walk over and unplug the bulky black charger and replace it with my own compact white one.

“What kind of phone do you even have?” I ask.

“Oh, this shitty enV 2. It’s like four years old.” He laughs. “I’m surprised it isn’t broken yet, to be honest. I drop it a lot.” He climbs into his bed after he picks the DVD remote. The menu screen for _Easy A_ shows up.

Austin was lying on his side, his left arm slung across the body pillow he slept on, his right resting on his side, remote in hand. I climb into Austin’s bed and set my phone on vibrate just in case Justin texted me. I lie down where Austin’s left arm was kind of above my head.

I tried to look over at him quickly to see if this was okay, but he saw me. “You okay, Ashby?” He smiles.

“Hm? Yeah.” I give him a small smile. I was kind of nervous, as stupid as that sounds. I mean Austin and I had cuddled before, obviously, but this felt different, but I wasn’t sure why.

“Good,” He smiles then presses play.

-=-

Right when Olive Penderghast starts accepting payment for pretending to have sex with some guy, Austin lets his right arm drape across me, pulling me closer to him. I feel myself smile and I move a little bit, Austin taking this opportunity to quickly put his left arm behind me, so if I would laid on my side, we’d be basically spooning.

-=-  
“Hmph.” Austin mumbles from beside me. The movie had just ended.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to get up and turn the TV off.” He sighs.

“Where’s your remote?” I ask.

“I don’t know; I’m tired.”

I look over at Austin’s microwave; the clock said it was close to midnight. “You want me to turn it off when I leave?” I ask quietly as I turn my head to look at him.

“Thought we were having a sleepover.” He mumbles as he smiles.

“I didn’t get the memo.”

“Oh,” He turns to look at me. “Only if you want to.”

“I want to.” I smile. I hear my phone vibrate and lean up to get it, it was from Justin. I feel Austin move his arm, which was probably close to being asleep by now.

tell me everything tomorrow you dirty whore ;) love u.

I smile and texted him back. don’t worry I will. Love u more nosy bitch I set my phone down and got back into my position.

I look over at Austin and he smiles. “Is that Justin?” He asks.

“Yeah.” I say and kind of yawn.

“Tired?”

“Just a little.”

He smiles a little bit then climbs over me. His body perfectly parallel to mine. I could feel my body get tense, his arms were on either side of me, holding him up. He leans down and presses his lips to mine. I reach my left hand him and play with the hem of his shirt, lifting it an inch so I feel his smooth skin. He pulls away for two seconds, I counted, then he gives me another peck before pulling away. “I’ve got to go brush my teeth and find this damn remote.” He smiles, then climbs off me.

He’s such a fucking tease.

-=-

Austin came back and found the remote where he left it, on top of the DVD player.

While he was gone I had gotten on the side next to the wall, because I wasn’t going to fall of this bed.

“I swear, I don’t know what your hall mates do in that bathroom, but it’s always a damn mess when I go in there.” He sighs then climbs into bed.

“Can’t you just kick them out? I’m tired of having to look toothpaste all over the sink.” I roll my eyes. It was really gross, like there were just blobs of toothpaste all over the place.

“Sadly no, we’re going to have a hall meeting soon though; I just have to wait until Phil is available.”

“Right.” I say as Austin moves his right hand behind his head. I look over at him. He had his eyes fixed on the TV, he was flipping through channels. I bit my lip and scooted closer to him, rest my head on his chest and wrapping my right arm around his waist.

“Alan,” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Austin,” I say quietly.

Austin brings his hand down and softly rubs my back. If he kept this up I was probably going to fall asleep.


	18. 18

“Let’s play the Q & A game.” Austin says as he stops rubbing my back. No, why? That felt so good.

“What’s that?” I ask positioning myself so I could look at him.

“You can ask me anything and I have to answer it, same for you.” He smiles.

“Anything?”

He squints his eyes, thinking. “Maybe.” He moves my bangs out my eyes. “Go ahead, Alan.”

I had so many questions, how could I pick just one? I sighed. “So I have reason to believe that Eggs was not my original nickname. Was it?” I ask. I was curious.

Austin smiles. “No, it wasn’t.”

“What was it?”

“Hey, now, wait your turn, Ashby.” He smiles holding his pointer finger to my lips.

“Fine.” I say after he removes his finger.

“Okay, my question is,” He taps the same finger on his chin, then smiles. “when did you start liking me?”

I felt my cheeks get warm. Of course, the question I have the most embarrassing answer to. “Um, I thought you were cute when I first saw you and then after seeing how nice you are I started liking you so…”

“I knew it.” He smiles.

“Whatever, Austin, it’s my turn. What did you call me before Eggs?”

He smirks a little bit. “Uh, this is a little embarrassing, but I referred to you as ‘That Cute Ginger in 220.’ Tino always called you Eggs, though.”

“Really?” I smile.

“Yeah.” He laughs. I lean up and place my lips on his for a few seconds, then pull away quickly.

-=-

“What’s that?” Austin mumbles.

“Hm?” I was still half asleep.

“That noise.”

I look up over Austin to see my phone lit up and vibrating. I sighed and sat up, then leaned across Austin to grab it off his table. “It’s my alarm, sorry.” I mumble as I turn it off.

“You have to go to class?” He was squinting at me.

“I don’t have to, I can just go back to sleep.” I give him a small smile.

He smirks. “No, Alan. You have to go to class.”

“No,” I mumble cuddling back up to him.

Austin sighs. “As much as I’d love to stay in all day and cuddle with you, Alan, you have to go to class.”

“Environmental science isn’t even important.” I pout.

“Alan…” He sighs. “go get ready for class.”

“Fine, but I’m coming back in here when I’m done getting ready.” I say and climb over him.

-=-

I walked down to my room and unlocked my door. Vince was sitting on his bed watching TV.

“Don’t you have class today?” I ask.

“Nope, professor canceled.” He smiles.

“Lucky,” I sigh and walk over to my dresser.

“Yeah. Hey, by the way, thanks for leaving last night.” He says.

“Oh, no problem,” I smile even though he couldn’t see me.

“Where did you stay?”

Fuck. I wasn’t sure if I was technically allowed to stay in Austin’s room overnight. “Justin’s.” I lie as I get my clothes out of my dresser.

“Oh, are you two like, dating?” He asks.

I turn around and kind of laugh. “No, not at all.”

“Oh,”

“Yeah, so what did you and Shawna do?” I ask walking over to where my shower stuff was.

“Well, it’s a number…” he laughs.

I turn around and look at him. He was blushing hardcore. “Oh, oh.”

“Yeah,” He smiles.

And that’s when I decided to get the fuck out that room.

-=-

After I had hurriedly grabbed my backpack out of the room, I nearly ran to Austin’s room.  
This time I didn’t knock, instead I just opened it. Austin turned around, shirtless and looked at me.

“Um, sorry, I thought you’d still be in bed.” I mumble. “I just had to go through the most awkward conversation.”

Austin smiles. “Hey, it’s okay.” He slips the shirt in his hands over his head. Why? “What happened?”

“Vince was telling me that he and Shawna like…I don’t want to talk about it, I am scarred for life.” I sigh.

“You’re really dramatic.” He laughs. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure you have to be in class in twenty minutes, so you better get going.”

I walk over and grab my phone from his table, close to where he was standing. “Are you sure I have to go?” I say looking at him.

“Yes, Alan. I have to get to class, too.”

“Your class on Monday doesn’t start until 12, it’s 8:30.”

“Regardless, Alan, off to class you go.” He leans down and kisses me.

I was kind of confused about Austin’s sudden schedule change, but I decided not to ask him about it.

“Fine, but I hope you realize that you are making me sad.”

“I’m sorry.” He smiles. “Go get Justin, because he’s not allowed to miss class, either.”

I heavily sigh and walk over to Tino’s desk to grab my backpack. “Well, I guess I’ll be going to hell now.” I say and walk over to the door. Austin laughs and follows me over. “It’s not that bad, if you would’ve listened to me switched your professor, you wouldn’t be this miserable.”

“Whatever, Austin.” I sarcastically roll my eyes as he opens the door. “Okay, off you go.” He smiles.

I sigh and walk slowly through the door; all I wanted to do was cuddle with Austin all day. Why couldn’t that be a class? I’d get an A.

The next thing I know Austin’s hand is coming in contact with my ass. Did he really just slap my ass? I turned around to see him smiling. “Go get em, tiger.” He laughs then closes the door.

-=-

“Justin, wake up.” I say opening the door. I looked over at Justin’s bed; he had the blanket over his face.

“No,” He mumbles.

“Yes, get up. If I have to go to class, you have to go to class. We have like 17 minutes to get over there. Up.”

He throws the blanket off him and looks at me. “Does it look like I can go to class? I look like shit and I have no time to get ready.” He sighs.

“Just put some a shirt and shoes on, you’re already wearing sweatpants. It’ll be fine.” I say going over to his dresser. I open the second drawer and pull out the first shirt I see, a black A Day To Remember one and throw it at him. “Let’s go.”

-=-

“Do we have time to stop and get coffee, Alan? I can’t go on.” He sighs from behind me. We had taken the stairs because we had to get halfway across campus in 12 minutes.

“And everyone calls me the dramatic one.” I mumble. “Yes, just don’t order something ridiculous.” I sigh and lean against the wall as Justin goes over to the small stand in the lobby.

-=-

Justin and I got to class with a minute to spare, luckily our seats weren’t taken. I guess that’s one of the advantages to having a small class.

“So, I know you’re going to tell what happened with Austin.” Justin says quietly.

I roll my eyes. “You had the whole way over here to ask me, and you choose now?” I say back just as quietly.

“I was distracted.”

“Mr. Trotta, Mr. Ashby?” Our professor looks up at us. “Do either of you want to tell us why population growth can be a bad thing?”

I look over at Justin and he nods and then answers the question, much to the professor’s surprise.

-=-

“Now you can tell me.” He says as class is dismissed.

“What do you want to know?” I shrug as I put my binder into my backpack.

I look over to him and he’s looking at me like I’m stupid. “Everything, obviously.”

“Let’s go eat, I’ll tell you everything then.”

“Two of my favorite things; food and gossip!” Justin says putting his backpack on. He just might be the gayest person I know.

-=-

I told Justin about Vince’s sexual awakening on our way to the commons. Justin nearly threw up, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of the two gallons of ice cream he ate or because I told him Vince got his dick sucked.

“Is that Austin?” Justin asks as we get closer to the commons. Austin was coming out of the building talking to some lady in suit.

“Yeah,” I say. Maybe this had to do with his new class.

“I wonder who that lady is.” Justin comments.

I looked over at Austin he was looking at her and putting something in his phone at the same time. He also had several books with him. He nods and then the lady walks away. Austin takes his backpack on and puts a couple of the books in, leaving one out then walks in our direction. As he gets closer a smile creeps across his face.

“Hey, Alan.” He smiles when he gets close to me, Justin had ventured off to the restroom. I told him not to eat all of that ice cream, but did he listen?

“Hey!” I lean up and kiss his cheek. He doesn’t really react. I immediately felt so fucking stupid.

“Alan…”

“I’m sorry.” I say quietly.

“Hey, no it’s okay.” He assures me. “It’s just,” He stops and runs his left hand through his hair. “there’s a lot of talk going on about me right now because of the whole fight thing.” He says quietly. “I just want to let that die down a little, you know?” He touches my waist. “Just, not out in the open on campus, okay? At least for now.”

I nod. “Yeah, I understand.”

He bites his lip. “Anyway, how was class?”

I sighed. “Justin and I got scolded because we were talking.”

Austin smiles a little. “That’s embarrassing.”

“Tell me about it.” I wanted to ask him about the lady in the suit, but it was none of my business.

“You going to lunch now?” He asks.

“Yeah, you want to come?”

He frowns a little. “I can’t, Alan. I’m sorry. I’ve a chapter to reread before class.” He says pointing to his book.

“What class is that even?” I say looking at the book covered in paintings of old people in weird outfits.

He smiles. “English History 1485 to 1760.”

“That sounds so boring.”

“Oh, no! Alan, it’s fascinating!” He exclaims.

“Whatever you say, Austin.”

“And I say history is awesome!”

Austin Carlile is a nerd.

“Is your major history?” I ask.

“One of them is. The other one is graphic design.”

“That’s a really weird combination.”

“Yeah, well, I want to make the graphics in museums.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense.”

He smiles. “Yeah,”

“I guess you like museums then?”

“I love them.” The smile hasn’t come off his face yet. “Do you like them?” He asks me.

“Uh, honestly, not really.”

“What? Why?” He exclaims.

“Um, well, I’ve only been to them on school trips and every time I would see something I was interested in, my teacher would be like ‘time to go look at something stupid’ and then I would just not be interested in anything.”

“That’s terrible.” Austin looks at me. “What if we went to one of my favorites this weekend, just you and me?” He asks while blushing.

If the pizza place last night wasn’t a date, then this definitely was.

“I guess I could try it.” I smile.

“Really?”

“Yeah, it couldn’t hurt.” I shrug.

“Awesome, I know just the place. Are you free this Saturday afternoon?”

I look at him, this was definitely a date. I was so happy, but I didn’t want to look like an idiot. “I should be.”

“Awesome. I’m sure I’ll see you before then, but you know.” He laughs. “Anyway, I need to go read this, so I’ll see you later.” He smiles then walks towards the humanities building.

Oh. My. God.

-=-

I literally ran into the commons building and into Justin’s preferred bathroom.

“Justin?” I say as I open the door.

“Yeah, Alan?” He was in the second stall.

“You’re not taking a shit are you?”

“Um, no.” I hear a toilet flush and the door opens.

“Did you just take a shit?”

“No, Alan.” He walks over to the sink to wash his hands.

“Anyway, you’re not going to believe what just happened.” I smile.

He looks over at me while lathering his hands in pink soap. “Tell me now.”

“I have to go in order, from last night’s events all the way up to now.”

“Then do it.”

-=-

Justin and I were at a table in the lunch room now. I told Justin about the pizza place, and the cuddling, the kissing, and about him slapping my ass. Justin sitting on the edge of his seat the whole time like this was some kind of horror movie.

“So, go on.”

“Well, he walked over smiling, so I assumed that I could kiss him on the cheek, you know?” I say and move my fries around

“Right,”

“So, I did and he was like ‘Alan there’s a lot of talk about me going around on campus right now because of the fight so can we not do that out around campus?’ I felt so stupid.” I sigh.

“There’s not a lot of talk about him. Everyone is over that now.” Justin rolls his eyes. “I think it has something to do with someone whose name starts rhymes with gaily.”

“No, I don’t think that’s it.”

“Alan, of course it is. Have you even asked him about Shayley?”

“Well, no.”

“Exactly. He’s being all cuddly with you while being all fucky with Shay.”

“Justin,”

“I know things, Alan.”

“No, I mean, he asked me out on a date.” I state.

“What?”

“Yeah, I mean, we’re going to a museum this Saturday.”

“Really? Hm, maybe I’m wrong then.” He shrugs.

I hope he was.

 

___________

“So you’re telling me that Austin just told you that this Andy guy and I would be cute together?” Justin says looking through my closet, trying to get an outfit together for me for tomorrow; Austin and my’s date.

“Yeah, he went to high school with him.” Austin had told me about this guy, Andy on Wednesday. He practically convinced me that I should talk to Justin about talking to him to see where it went since he was single now.

“Do you have his Facebook profile?” He asks pulling out a sweater, looking at it, then putting it back.

“I can find it.” I sigh and go to Facebook.

“If he’s not cute, Alan, I swear.”

“Excuse me, Justin.” I roll my eyes and type Andy Glass in to the Facebook search bar. “Looks  
aren’t everything.”

He sighs dramatically. “I know, but, I have to find him attractive, you know?”

“Yeah, I understand.” I looked through the results and found one living in Ohio and going to the college three hours away, just like Austin said he was. “I think I found him.” I click on the profile and click around seeing what I could.

“Is he cute?” He asks walking over.

“Yes, good lord.” I say moving the laptop so he could see.

Justin leans down and looks. “I want his penis inside me, Alan. He’s gorgeous.”

I give him the look that he gives me when I say something stupid; Justin looks over and gives me the  
same look. “Well?”

“Are you going to add him?” I ask.

“Do you think I should?” He looks at me bites his lip.

“Of course! Austin is talking to him about you.” I smile and nudge him.

“What? Why?”

“Because he thinks you two would be good together.”

Justin leans into the computer. “He goes to Northern, Alan. That’s three hours away.” He sighs.

“So? At least he’s not going to be touring all over the place.”

“That’s true. But what if he doesn’t like me?” Justin nervously bites at the corner of his lips, what he does when he thinks.

“Oh come on, Justin.” I say and roll my eyes.

-=-

I was kind of nervous about Austin and I’s ‘date’ today. He was going to be here in like five minutes. I kept looking in the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I was wearing a dark gray t shirt and some black jeans, I hope that’s okay.

I heard a knock on the door so I walked the two feet to open it. Austin was standing in front of me with a white v neck under a denim-y looking shirt and black jeans. I wanted to die he looked so good. He was holding a heavier jacket in his right hand which was hanging down on his side.

“Hey,” He smiles.

“Hi,” I bite my lip.

“Are you ready?” He asks.

“I just have to grab my jacket really quick.” I say turning to go to my closet. I grabbed my jean jacket off the doorknob, its black hood holding it there.

I pat my back pocket to make sure I have my wallet then walk over to the door.

-=-

“Um, so do you want to get lunch first or go to the museum first?” Austin asks as we get into his car.

“Either is fine.” I smile.

“Alright, well, I guess we’ll see when we get closer, okay? Just tell me if you get hungry.” He smiles at me.

“Will do.”

-=-

“So I talked to Andy.” Austin says exiting to the highway.

“Yeah, does he think Justin is cute?” I ask hopefully.

Austin smiles. “Yeah, he texted me this morning to tell me that they talked for a couple hours last night.” He laughs

“Really? Justin didn’t say anything to me other than a text to tell me that he accepted his friend request.”

“He’s probably asleep.” Austin smiles.

“Yeah, probably.”

-=-

We pulled up to a huge, old building about twenty minutes later. I spent most of the time looking at the scenery. This was a totally different side of town, probably the nicer side of where Austin lives because it was the same amount of distance.

-=-

We had gotten the pass that allows us into the permanent exhibits since we didn’t really want to see a bunch of paintings of flowers and birds.

“Main exhibit is that way, enjoy your stay.” The lady behind the counter gives us a warm smile.

Austin looks at me and smiles. “Ready?”

“Yeah, let’s go see some art.”

Austin grabs my hand and we walk towards the entrance to the main exhibit.

-=-

“So the main exhibit is set up in chronological order,” Austin explains as we walk into the first room. “and by room. This was home to one of the wealthiest lawyers in this area.” I look at him and nod. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t care.”

“Oh, no it’s fine. That’s kind of interesting.”

Austin smiles a bit.

“So, how old do you think this painting is?” I ask Austin, I didn’t want him to feel dumb for explaining things to me.

“Well, Alan. This room is the oldest room, paintings in here are pre-18th century, so,” he looks at the painting, studying it. “that one is probably from the late 1600s?”

“Look at you, Mr. Scholar.” I smile.

“That’s what college does for you, Ashby.” He laughs.

-=-

We made it through the various rooms, Austin telling me random things about some of the paintings, showing me his favorites, and telling me why they were his favorites. He’d ask me which ones I liked and why. Surprisingly it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be.

Now we were at a small diner near the museum. Austin and I had already ordered, he got some kind of fish basket thing and I got a burger because I wasn’t sure if I was going to trust the fish here, even though Austin had said it was fine.

“Are you going home for Christmas break?” Austin asks sipping his drink.

“Yeah, I still don’t know when though. My mom wants me to come home as soon as classes end and stay until two days before classes start, but I don’t know if I want to do that.”

Austin nods. “It makes sense, though. She probably misses you a lot.”

“Yeah, I still have to get my ticket though.”

He laughs a bit. “Better get on that.”

-=-

I told Austin that I would pay for lunch since he paid for our museum passes.

“I know it was kind of lame, but did you at least have a tiny bit of fun?” Austin asks as we walk back to his room. Vince had texted me the winky face, meaning that he and Shawna were getting it on. I was kind of glad because this meant I would get to spend more time with Austin.

“It wasn't lame, Austin.” I say as he opens his door.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. It was kind of fun to get out and see something I normally wouldn’t.” I shrug as we walk into his room. I push the door so it’ll close and Austin sets his keys on his desk.

“Well, good. Maybe next time we can do something you like to do?” He smiles.

“Hm, maybe.” I smile. What would we even do? I like to eat and sleep and look at Austin.

Austin walks towards me. “Your hair.” He smiles.

“What?”

“The wind must have blown it around” He laughs and smoothes it down.

I smile and he leans down kisses me, bringing his hands to my waist, pulling me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck. Austin tilts his head and runs his tongue across my bottom lip, begging for me to let him in. Because I wanted us to kiss like this since Thanksgiving, I didn’t even make him wait, I opened my mouth and let him in, his tongue immediately going to mine, moving against it. Austin pushes me towards Tino’s closet door, it closing shut as he does. I leave my left hand in its spot, but bring my right hand down to his cheek, brushing it lightly with my thumb. Austin’s finger tips find their way under my shirt, lightly pressing on my side.

“Hey Aust---holy shit, I’m sorry.” Austin pulls away from me and looks over at Tino. I felt my cheeks get warm so I look down, not wanting to see Austin or Tino's faces. “Um, Phil told me to give you this list of the days he can have that hall meeting.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Austin kind of stutters.

“Um, I’m going to leave now, so you two um, be safe, yeah?” Tino says then I hear the door close.  
Honestly, I was wishing for a text from Vince with a :D to inform me that he was done. This was so awkward.

Austin clears his throat and I look up quickly to see his cheeks have a pink tint as well. “Shit, this is kind of awkward, huh?” He gives a nervous laugh.

I bite my lip. What was I supposed to do? Should I leave? Should I stay? Should I just kiss him? Should I ask him what to do?

Austin looks over at me.

“Um, I think I’m going to go see if Vince is done.” I say quietly.

“Oh, um, okay.” He gives me a small smile.

I walk over to him and kiss his cheek. “Thanks for today, it was fun.”

Austin’s smile widens. “Yeah, it was.”

“Maybe we could go to the cafeteria for dinner later? Around 6?” I say hopefully, maybe by then the awkward would wear off.

“Yeah, that’d be awesome.”

“Alright, I’ll come get you this time.” I smile.

He nods and I walk over to the door. “See you in a few, Alan.”

“Yeah.” I say and walk out of the door and down the hall. I wasn’t going to my room; I was going straight to Justin’s.


	19. 19

Justin looks up from his computer when I walk in his room.

“Well, how was your date?” He asks with a huge smile.

“It was so good, Justin.” I smile and climb on his bed.

“What did you do?”

“We went to an art museum,”

Justin cuts me off by laughing. “You went to an art museum?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, Justin. I did, and then we had lunch,”

“And then what?”

“We made out his in his room.”

Justin’s eyes get wide. “Why aren’t you over there still making out with him?” He exclaims.

“Because fucking Tino had to come in and interrupt us.” I roll my eyes.

“We should beat him up.” Justin laughs.

“Yeah, maybe.” I smile. “Anyway, what about you and this Andy guy, huh?”

“Alan, he’s so wonderful.” He smiles as his cheeks get pink. “I mean, I can have an actual intelligent conversation with him and he’s so cute.”

“Are you going to meet him? Like in person?”

“I want to, but with Christmas break coming up and finals, I don’t think it’s a good idea yet. Plus, we just met you know?” He shrugs.

“Yeah, maybe after break, though?” I smile.

“Maybe.” He laughs.

-=-

“Oh hey, Alan.” Tino says from the doorway.

“Hey, is Austin here?” I ask.

Tino nods and walks away from the door and walks over to Austin’s bed, smacking Austin's leg. Austin pulls his ear buds out and looks at him. “What, asshole?”

“Eggs is here.” Tino laughs before walking over to his own bed.

“Oh, hey Penelope.” I smile. I hadn’t even noticed her on Tino’s bed.

“Hey, Alan!” She smiles. “You look cute.”

“Oh, um, thanks.”

Austin walks over to me. “Let’s go.”

“Are you okay?” I ask him. He seemed off.

“Hm, yeah. It was just really awkward in there.” He shrugs.

-=-

Austin and I were seated at the normal table; there weren’t a lot of people in the cafeteria. Austin was telling me about how we were going to be having a hall meeting next Tuesday about closing information.

“Hey Austin.” Austin and I both look up to see Shayley standing at the end of our table.

Why? Just how is this even my life right now?

“Um, hey Shay.” Austin says, almost confused. “I thought you had a paper to write.”

“Yeah, I do, but I needed a break and food.” He rolls his eyes and sits down next to Austin, giving me a dirty look as he does so.

I was furious.

-=-

Shayley basically made everything awkward. He just kept talking to Austin; he honestly didn’t even acknowledge my presence at all.

I stab my mixed vegetables. Both Shayley and Austin look over at me, Austin gives me an ‘I’m sorry’ look and Shayley rolls his eyes and grabs Austin’s hand. “So, you want to come distract me from the music theory paper later?” He whispers, but makes sure I can hear it.

Austin immediately looks uncomfortable. “I-I don’t know, Shay. I have a lot of homework to do.” He stutters.

Shayley moves his chair closer to Austin. “Come on, it’s the weekend, you can do it Sunday.” He smiles as he lets go of Austin’s hand and moves it under the table, Austin flinches a bit. “Shay---”

“Aussie,” Shay smiles and kisses his cheek.

That’s all I needed to see. I couldn’t even believe Austin wasn’t freaking out right now. I grabbed my keys and phone, leaving my plate and cup and walked out of the cafeteria. Shayley lets Austin go as I walk towards the door.

“Alan! Wait!” Austin yells, I just ignore him and keep walking out of the commons. Maybe Justin was right.

-=-

There were so many emotions going through me right now, anger, sadness, betrayal. I went outside and leaned against the wall.

“Shayley, just stop!” I hear Austin yell.

“I didn’t do anything, Austin. You come back from Thanksgiving and suddenly I’m gross and you don’t want me?” Shayley yells back.

Austin and Shayley come into my view. “No one said you’re gross, Shayley. Don’t be stupid.”

“Well, what’s going on, then?” Shayley stops and looks at him. “You’re fucking him aren’t you? Alan.”

“I’m not fucking him, Shayley.” Austin sighs.

“But you want to be.” Shayley shoots back.

Austin stops. “Shay…”

“I knew it. You lied to me, Austin. You told me you didn’t want to be with him.”

“I lied to you because I know how you get, Shay! I didn’t want you to drink yourself into a fucking coma.”

“Oh,” Shayley gives a fake laugh. “so it’s my fault you lied to me?”

“I’m not saying that, Shay.”

“Yes you are! I’m not fucking stupid, Austin. I see what you’re doing.” Shayley runs his hand through his hair. “I can’t even fucking believe you, Austin.”

“I don’t know why you’re getting all upset, Shay. You have told me time and time again that we are no longer dating. Now you know how it feels. I have had to watch you cavort around this fucking campus with at least ten guys, and when I would say something, you’d say, ‘oh, Austin, I’ve told you, we’re not dating now,’ do you know how bad that hurts? To always be the fucking second choice?” Austin yells.

Shayley shakes his head. “So you’re going to do the same thing to Alan? You’re going to let him be your second choice? That seems pretty hypocritical to me.”

“He’s not my second choice, Shay.”

“Well, have fun with your little freshman, Austin.” Shay says then walks towards his resident hall.

Austin leaned against the concrete barrier holding back the dirt since this side of the commons was carved into a hill. I push myself off the wall I was leaning against and walk over to him.

“Hey, Alan.” He says quietly.

“You okay?” I ask him.

“I don’t know.”

I get closer and wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me. I wasn’t sure what to do and he looked like he needed a hug. I wasn’t mad or upset at him anymore. Austin wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead. “You know what would make you feel better?” I say looking up at him the best I can.

He smiles a little. “What?”

“Ice cream.”

“Alan, it’s December.” He laughs.

“Ice cream is always the answer. Come on, you drive and I’ll buy.” I say and pull away from him.

__________________________

“You know, Alan. I really don’t think we need six pints of ice cream.” Austin mumbles waiting for me unlock my door.

“Yes we do.” I smile while I open the door. Austin follows me in and I find myself doing a happy dance on the inside because Vince is gone.

Austin sets the bag on Vince’s desk. “What could be the possible reason for that? Where are you even going to put it?” Austin muses leaning against the desk.

I throw my keys and phone on my own desk. “Because I like all of the flavors I wanted them all?” I say. It was true; Vince had gotten me hooked on United Dairy Farmers ice cream since we didn’t have it back in California.

Austin laughs and shakes his head. “You’re so strange.”

“Am not.” I say walking over and grabbing the bag of ice cream. “Which one should we eat first?” I ask him.

“It doesn’t matter to me, Alan.” He smiles.

I walk over to my freezer and shove 3 of the ice creams in, then open Vince’s vacant fridge and shove the other two in, leaving out Cookies & Cream, which Austin had told me he liked when I was purchasing the ice cream.

-=-

Austin and I were sitting on my bed, honestly, he had told me he was nervous about climbing up there, because he would have to, and I quote, ‘slither on’ because of his height.

“Why do you even want your bed this high? This is terrifying.” Austin says scooting closer to me. I had made him lie near the edge because I preferred to be next to the wall, it was safer that way.

“I don’t know, I thought it would be a good idea when I moved in, so here we are.” I laugh and get another spoonful of ice cream.

“I told you that you could lower it.” He smiles.

“I know, but then where would I put my desk?”

“Hm, good point, you two have your room set up really weird.”

“It was pretty much like this when we moved in, though.” I roll my eyes.

“Well, whatever.” He rolls his eyes.

-=-

Austin and I were watching some weird show on Discovery; he was resting his head on my chest, his left arm draped across my waist. I was rubbing his back softly in circles. His head was so close to mine that I could smell his hair, which smelled really good, no real scent, just clean.

I didn’t want to say anything, but I wanted to know how he was. I mean, obviously I can’t stand Shayley, but I know how much he means to Austin, he must be hurting a little.

“You okay?” I ask quietly.

I hear him sigh and he scoots closer to me, tightening his hold on me. I’m going to take that as a ‘no.’

-=-  
I woke up to an empty bed. I had no idea where Austin went. I sighed and climbed down off my bed, almost slipping on a piece of paper.

I carefully lowered myself and grabbed it.

Alan,  
i went to get us breakfast, I’ll be back soon.  
xx Austin 

I sighed and grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste. I wish he would’ve woken me up when he left, I would’ve gone with him.

-=-

After I brushed my teeth and changed my clothes I ended up waiting another twenty minutes before Austin came back holding a brown paper bag in one hand and two cups in one of those holders in the other.

“What did you get?” I ask him.

“I got you pancakes and bacon.” He smiles setting the bag on Vince’s desk. “Oh, and orange juice.”

“Thanks, Austin.” I smile. I walk over to my desk and grab my chair, then bring it over to where Austin was getting our food out.

-=-

“I’m going to pass out I ate way too much.” I sigh.

Austin smiles. “I think your problem is that you ate too fast.”

“Well, maybe.” I shrug. Austin was just past halfway done. I couldn’t help it, I was hungry.

-=-  
Austin had to go to work, so I went to Justin's.

I had just got done explaining the whole Shayley and Austin fight to Justin, who didn’t really say anything; instead he was smiling at his phone while I talked.

I rolled my eyes. “And then Austin fucked me into the floor while Vince was in the room.” I said sarcastically.

“That sounds interesting.” Justin comments typing something into his phone.

“Are you even listening?” I ask.

Justin looks up. “What?”

I rolled my eyes. “No it’s okay, just keeping talking to Andy.”

“I’m sorry, Alan.” He sighs and sets down his phone. “You have my undivided attention.” He smiles.  
I sigh. “I just want to talk to him, you know? I asked him if he was okay last night and he didn’t say anything.”

Justin nods. “Well, I mean asking him again won’t hurt, you know? At least he knows that you care and want to help.”

Damn, he was good. “That’s true. I just I feel so bad because Shayley obviously means a lot to him, you know?” I sigh. “I feel so responsible.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “Alan, you shouldn’t feel bad, okay? Shayley and Austin’s relationship or whatever has nothing to do with you. Austin chose to kiss you, Austin chose to take you out on a date, he knew that Shayley would be offended or whatever, he made his choice,” He stops when he hears his phone buzz, but thankfully ignores it. “and his choice was you!” He smiles. “Austin wants you, not Shayley. That wasn’t your decision; that was Austin’s.”

I couldn’t help but smile as Justin grabs his phone and puts a smile of his own on.


	20. twenty

Every time I would get to the point where my eyes would close, some kind of explosion would happen on Vince’s game, jarring me from my sleep. It wasn’t really the noise level, Vince had turned it down; it was the bright color of some spaceship blowing up.

Vince pauses his game and climbs out of bed over to the door.

“Hey, Austin.” He mumbles after he opens the door.

“Is Alan awake?” He asks, looking over to my bed. I sit up. “Yeah, what?” I ask. I wasn’t mad at him, I know that he had to go, but I could still be annoyed with him.

“Um, I need to talk to you.” He says from the door.

I sigh and shove my blankets over, I was just in basketball shorts; I had forgotten to grab my shirt from Austin’s when I left. Plus, Vince had the heat turned up a little higher than usual. I climbed down and onto my dresser before walking over to the door. Vince had returned to his bed to protect the universe from spaceships.

“Is the lockdown over? Because I think Vince might start peeing in bottles.” I sigh as I leave the door cracked a little behind me.

“That’s a little dramatic.” He smiles.

“We’ve been in lockdown for like four hours, Austin.” I roll my eyes.

“And it’s over now.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” He smiles. “Did you fall asleep?”

“I tried; Vince’s game is keeping me awake.”

“Hm, well I think I have a solution.” He smirks. “Come stay in my room.”

I feel myself smile. “You sure?”

“Yeah, Tino’s at Penelope’s.”

“Alright, let me just grab my phone and stuff?”

“Yeah, of course.” He smiles and turns to walk to his room.

-=-

I had brushed my teeth before grabbing my phone and charger and walking over to Austin’s room. I knock quickly and Austin opens the door only a few seconds after. “Hey,” He smiles and moves out of the way so I could come in. Austin had changed into a pair of black sweatpants with Central printed on the left leg in gray with a red outline, a miniature of the school’s mascot, a bulldog on the right near the bottom. Austin’s dusty blue boxers, the ones that he put on when he had to leave, where sticking out a little because the pants were a little too big. His plain white t shirt lay perfectly at his waist, only covering a bit of his boxers.

“Hi,” I smile and wrap my arms around him, rubbing my cheek against his white shirt.

“You left your shirt here.” He mumbles.

“I know.” I laugh into his torso, then let go of him and look up so I can see his face, squinting at the bright light coming his from beside lamp. He pushes my hair away and kisses me softly.

I walk over to his desk and pick up my black Slayer shirt.

“What’s that?” Austin asks biting his lip a little.

“Hm?” I ask him, turning slightly, shirt in hand.

He walks over to me and lifts my right arm up. “You have a tattoo.” He smiles.

I nod. “Yep.”

He turns his head to look at it, reading it. “That must’ve hurt, you little rebel.” He smirks.

“Only two people know I have it, don’t tell.”

“Really?” He smiles.

“Yeah, my mom would die, okay. Absolutely die.”

I glanced at his microwave clock, it was just past three, and honestly, it felt later. I climb into his bed and comfortable in my usual spot next to the wall.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Austin teases as he climbs in next to me.

“Going to sleep.” I smile and cuddle up to him when he gets himself situated. “Am I allowed to know what happened?” I ask wrapping my arm around his waist.

He sighs. “Basically these three guys got super drunk and ran into one of the lobby windows, breaking it. Somehow, even though one of them was obviously hurt, there was blood all over the floor, they got in the elevator and went up to the third floor and tried to break a window up there, too, but one of the RAs up there caught them in time.”

“They broke a window?”

Austin sighs. “Yes, I swear, people are so stupid.”

“Sounds like you had fun.” I tease.

Austin rolls his eyes. “Usually it is because I get to yell at people who aren’t listening, but I would’ve been doing something else.” Even though I couldn’t really see his face from where my head was on his chest, I could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Me too, watching Vince play video games is really boring.” I sigh, cuddling closer to him. His room is so cold.

“You sound tired.” He starts rubbing my back.

“I am,”

“Go to bed then.” He laughs.

-=-

I guess I did fall asleep, it was kind of hard not to. I was snuggled up to a cute, warm boy in a cold room, that cute boy smelled nice and was rubbing my back, and I was tired, so tired.

I woke up to Austin reading that text book for that class he had, he had a small smile and a look of absolute fascination on his face. I wish I felt that way about something.

“Is that book good?” I ask moving so I could see portrait of some girl.

“Yeah,” He puts his bookmark in and looks at me. “You’re awake now?” He smiles.

“Yes.”

“Good, because I have to pee so bad.” He laughs.

“Why did you go before?” I ask moving so he could get up.

“Because I didn’t want to wake you.” He smiles and grabs some underwear out of his drawer, then grabs his shower stuff. “I’ll be back in like fifteen minutes, okay?”

-=-

In the fifteen minutes that it look Austin to shower and get ready, I ventured into the bathroom to brush my teeth, because I wanted to kiss him when he got back, and honestly, morning breath is gross. I also changed into some clothes, because as much as I wanted to stay in Austin’s room all day, he has to work on Saturdays, so obviously that ruins my plans.

He closes the door quietly behind him and sets his shower stuff in his closet and hangs his towel up on the towel rack on the door.

“Alan, I have to go to work in an hour, but,” He walks over to me, pulling me into him. “we can hang out tonight. That Rise of the Guardians movie is still out at the theatre, I overheard you telling Justin you wanted to see it, so maybe we could go later?” He smiles.

I smiled. “Yeah, that sounds like fun.” I lean and up and kiss him.

“Alright, I got to get ready so I’ll text you with the time? We could grab dinner, too. I get off at seven, so it’d be late, but, whatever you want to do.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” I smile and grab my phone and charger off his bedside table, then walk back over to him. He leans down and kisses me again.

“Okay, off to Justin’s or wherever.” He smiles.

“Fine,” I sigh.

“I’ll text you okay?”

“Mhm.” I grab my keys off his desk and walk towards the door.

-=-

“Justin Trotta.” I say closing the door.

Jake looks over at me from his bed. “You have really got to stop yelling when you come in here.” He says, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry, Jacob.”

Justin motions me over to his bed and I quickly climb on. “Tell me everything.”

“Wait, before you start talking,” Jake looks over at us. “are you guys going to be talking about penises?Because honestly I don’t care if you two are gay, like go you, but yeah, don’t want to hear about it.”

Justin looks at him and nods. “Yeah, most likely.”

“Alright, I’m going to leave then.” He climbs off his bed and grabs his keys then closes the door behind him.

“Works every time.” Justin smiles. “Anyway, tell me about your little rendezvous with Austin.” He smiles.

-=-

“So you initiated it?” Justin asks after I give him all the details.

“Yeah,”

He smiles. “My little baby is all grown up.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever, Justin, you act like this is my first rodeo or something.”

He laughs a little. “Well, whatever.”

“So I’m sure you texted Andy while we were under lockdown.” I smile.

“Yeah,” He blushes a little bit. “we talked on the phone last night, too.”

“Really? Does he have a sexy voice?”

“I mean, yeah, to me anyway, it’s kind of just a normal voice, there’s nothing really special to it, kind of an accent, but not really. But I like it.”

“So, are you going to meet him after break?” I ask.

“Yeah, I think so. But, I don’t want to go alone, you know? It’s three hours away, he’s a nice guy and I know some things about him, but not a whole lot, you know?”

I sat and thought for a minute. “Wait, we have a four day weekend in January when we come back for Martin Luther King Day? What if I talked to Austin, we could go up to Northern for the weekend, that way you could meet Andy and you would feel safe, I could meet him and approve, and Austin could see his friend. It’d be perfect. We could stay in a hotel, it’d be fun.” I smile.

Justin nods his head. “That could work. My mom gets a really good discount at Motel 6.”

“Awesome, I’m going out with Austin tonight so I’ll talk to him about it.”

“I can’t believe this could happen.” Justin smiles.

-=-

Austin and I had just gotten out of Rise of the Guardians and were heading down the street to IHOP, since it was open 24/7 and it was getting closer to midnight. Austin fingers were intertwined with my own, his thumb rubbing over mine. It was getting colder, but I could see the sign at the end of the street.

“I have a question for you.” I say. I need to ask him about our little trip sooner rather than later so he could take the days off, which honestly, that was the only part I was worried about.

“Can it wait until we get inside? I like to look at you when you speak and honestly, it’s really cold.” He laughs.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

-=-

After getting a questionable looks from people around the dining room, we were seated in a booth in the corner.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Austin asks looking over the menu.

“So Justin and Andy are getting pretty serious, last night they talked on the phone,” I start only to get interrupted by our waitress.

“Hi, I’m Michelle, I’ll be your waitress, can I take your drink order?” She asks. I order a mountain dew and Austin orders coffee.

“Okay, so they talked on the phone,” Austin says when Michelle leaves.

“Well, Justin wants to go up to Northern when we get back from break.”

Austin looks at me over his menu.

“And we discovered that we have a four day weekend in January, it’s perfect.” I stop and look at Austin.

“Okay, continue.”

“Well, he doesn’t want to go alone, you know? It’s a new place and a new person, so he wanted to know if I would go with him,”

“Then go?”

“Well, I am. But I wanted to know if you wanted to come with us? I mean, it’s okay if you can’t or whatever, but I thought it would be fun, give us a chance to just spend some time together without having to worry about classes and RA shit.” I bite my lip and look at him.

Michelle brings our drinks over and we order, both pancakes and bacon. Austin gets hash browns and I get eggs.

She leaves again; hopefully she won’t come over here until she brings me food.

“So, you want me to go up to Northern with you and Justin?” He asks me.

“Pretty much, yeah.”

He bites his lip.

“I mean, if you don’t want to, it’s fine.” I say quietly.

“No, I want to, Alan. A weekend with you sounds amazing.” He smiles, I feel myself smile as well.

“But, it’s getting the days off work, you know?”

I nod. “I understand.”

Austin grabs my hand from across the table. “I’ll try my best though.”

That’s all I can really ask of him, honestly.

++++

“So Austin’s taking you to the airport?” Justin asks me as I shove clothes into my suitcase.

“Yeah, I leave Sunday morning.” It was now Friday; we had to check out of our rooms tomorrow before we could leave. Since I was leaving with Austin, who would be one of the last ones out, I didn’t have to sign up for a check out time.

Justin sighs from Vince’s desk chair.

I look over at him. “What?”

“I’m going to sound like a high school girl, but, I don’t want you to leave.”

I walk over to him and hug him. “Justin, it’ll be fine. It’s for a month, we’ll survive, and I’ll call you every day so we can talk about stupid shit.”

“I know, but it’ll be weird not being able to run down the hall and tell you something.” He pouts as I let go.

“And everyone calls me dramatic.” I smile as I walk back to my suitcase.

“Whatever.” He laughs. “So I assume you’re staying at Austin’s dad house?”

“Yeah, for the night,” Austin lived only 20 minutes away from the airport.

“Are you two going to have sex?” Justin asks bluntly, leaving me to almost choke.

“Excuse me?”

“Is Austin going to penetrate you?” He asks; a sassy tone to his voice.

“Jesus, Justin. I don’t know.”

“Do you want him to?” He laughs.

I turn and look him. “Obviously; I’ve wanted his dick since I saw him.” I roll my eyes.

“Then get his dick, Alan. It’s perfect; you’re leaving for a month. If it’s really good, he’ll be thinking about it all month.”

“I don’t know, Justin. I want to, but I don’t know, don’t you think it’s a little too soon?” I sigh. “I mean my mom told me to never give away my cookies unless I was absolutely sure.”

Justin gives me that look, the one when I say something weird. “Alan, you gave away your cookies to Jerry. I mean, I hate to bring him up, but,”

“No, I know, but Austin is different.”

“Well, you know what’s best for you.” Justin smiles.

-=-

I woke up curled up next to Justin, soft snores escaping his semi-opened mouth.

I poked him gently.

No response.

Another quick jab in the ribs with my pointer finger.

“Andy?” He grumbles.

I bit my lip so I wouldn’t laugh, then shoved him a little bit more.

“Mmm, stop.” He rolls over, grabbing his pillow.

“Justin, wake the fuck up.”

“Huh? Alan?” He turns to look at me, a confused look on his face.

“Hey,” I laugh.

“Hi, what time’s it?”

“Um, like ten.”

“Oh, shit I have to check out in like twenty minutes, why didn’t you wake me, Alan.” He sighs and climbs out of bed.

-=-

Justin had left about thirty minutes ago; his goodbye consisted of a ton of crying on both of our parts, with Austin standing in the door waiting for him to sign the paper saying that Austin had checked his room.

“I’m going to get Phil to check your room out, okay? Because I’m finished with his hall.”

“Why can’t you do it?” I ask.

“Because I’m your RA, so I can’t.”

“That’s stupid though.”

“Yeah, I agree, but at least Phil can do it.” He leans down and kisses me quickly, then walks out into the hallway.

-=-

Phil walks in the open door and looks at me. “Hello, Alan.” He smiles.

“Hey, Phil.”

“Austin said you were ready to check out?”

“Yep.”

Phil goes around my room, checking all of the outlets, making sure the window was closed, the air unit turned off, everything out was out of my fridge, and the garbage was out.

“You passed.” He smiles.

“So I can go now?” I ask.

“Yeah, just sign this.” He hands me his stupid clipboard and I quickly scribble three As in a row and hand it back to him.

“Your name is so easy to sign and you do this?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’m lazy.”

Phil laughs and walks out of the door.

I grab my phone off the table along with my keys and close the door behind me.

-=-

Austin was still packing when I got to his room.

I climbed onto his bed and looked him as he grabbed some clothes out of the dresser below his bed.

“You’re going to distract me.” He turns and shoves several shirts into his duffle bag.

I move so I’m sitting Indian style. “Should’ve packed earlier.”

Austin turns and looks at me. “Keep it up and you’ll be walking to the airport.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.” He looks at me, as seriously as he could.

“But I would get mugged or something.”

“Then be nice to me.” He says and shoves more things into his bag.

-=-

It was weird being in the dorm with only a few people around. Phil and Anouk were still hanging around, Phil was helping Austin and I pack his stuff to his car. My shit had been in his car since this morning.

“So you’re going to Holland for a month?” Austin asks Phil as he throws his duffle bag in the back seat.  
Phil smiles. “Yeah, well, three weeks. The last week we’re staying with my parents.”

“Awesome.” Austin smiles as he takes another bag from Phil.

“So, you’re just staying at home?” Phil asks Austin.

“Yeah, where else would I go?” He laughs. “Alright, thanks Phil.” Austin closes the back driver side door. “I’ll see you next year.”

Phil and Austin hug. “Yeah, dude.” Phil laughs.

“Have a safe flight, okay?” He hugs Anouk.

“Will do, Austin.” She smiles. Pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve heard her talk. I don’t know why Austin says he can barely understand her. She has an accent, but it’s not thick.

Phil tells me goodbye and Anouk hugs me, kind of catching me off guard.

-=-

Austin and I arrived at his dad’s forty five minutes later because Austin had to stop and get gas and I wanted a slushie.

“You need to be at the airport at what time?” Austin asks throwing his stuff down on the ground.

“Eight, so we’ll need to be up seven, probably.”

“Why did you get such an early flight?” He sighs.

“So I could sleep on the way home.” I smile.

“And cause me to lose sleep, obviously.”

“Yep, I just have it out for you.”

Austin sighs. “You want to watch a movie or something? It’s only nine.”

“Yeah,” I smile. “You pick, I picked last time.”

He smirks.

“No, you can’t pick a scary movie, either.” I whine.

“Too late, you already said I could pick.”

Fuck him.

-=-

I’m not really sure how it happened, but Austin was currently on top of me, sucking my neck. His jeans were somewhere in the hallway, along with my shirt. I really hope his dad was working late tonight. Austin’s lips detach from my neck and he leans back, looking at me.

He bites his lip, then lifts his shirt above his head. He looks at me with dark eyes before leaning down and kisses me hard on the lips, right hand wandering down to my hip, rubbing it a little. I arched some into his touch, leaving him to smirk into our kiss. He brings his right hand over to my zipper; he first pops the button then slowly unzips them.

“Up,” He motions towards my hips. I lift them up and he pulls my jeans over my butt, then shoves them down my thighs, finally my erection wasn’t constricted.

Austin goes back to kissing me, grinding his hips again mine. As he’s kissing, his hands are shoving my pants further down my legs.

“Austin,” I moan into his mouth.

He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d make it up to me.

Austin pulls back, still grinding a little. His eyes dark like they were last time, that midnight black that had become my new favorite color. I could see his erection when he moved to pull my jeans off my ankles, throwing them on his crowded floor. Then he’s back on top of me. “What do you want me to do?” He whispers in my ear, if I could get any harder, that would do it. He leans down and kisses me, then touches his nose to my cheek, making me smile a little bit. “Hm?” He questions presses little kisses to my jaw line.

To be honest, at this point right now I would be willing to do anything. Screw my cookies and what my mom told me about them.

I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him softly. When he pulls back, he looks straight into my eyes, call me stupid, but it’s like we were on the same page. He knew what I wanted, and I knew what he wanted.

Austin presses a few soft kisses to my collar bone, moving out to my shoulder. He moves a little bit to open his bedside drawer, moving things around and mumbling curse words under his breath. He slams the drawer shut, then opens the bottom one, moving things around in there until he finds what he’s looking for. A medium sized wooden box. He takes the lid off and sets it on the top of the table, then digs around in the box, selecting a condom and a small bottle. He bites his lip then sets them on the bed next to him.

“You sure?” He asks quietly as he sets the box back into the drawer.

“Yeah,” I answer quietly, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice. I knew that if I had even the slightest hint of uncertainty in my voice, Austin would call this whole thing off.

He takes a deep breath and hooks his fingers into the waistband of my boxer briefs, pulling them down a little. I raise my hips so he can slide them down. Once they get to my knees, he moves so he can slide them off, throwing them on the ground along with my jeans.

Austin climbs back into position, grabbing the small bottle and popping the top, the clicking noise breaking the silence. Austin tips the bottle over, squirting a good amount on his free hand. He places tiny kisses along my jaw line as he inserts a finger. I bit my lip, trying not to make an embarrassing noise. Austin moves down to my collar bone as he inserts another finger, causing me to whine a little bit. Not because of pain or anything, just the somewhat discomfort.

“You okay?” Austin asks against my collar bone.

“Yeah, keep going.”

Austin kisses me softly on the lips, then kisses down to my neck, nibbling softly as he moves his fingers around, stretching me.

After he had decided that I was stretched good enough, Austin pulls his fingers out, stops kissing, and looks at me.

After a few awkward seconds of him just staring at me, he shoves his own boxers off, discarding them somewhere, I didn’t pay attention, I was too busy looking at him. Despite his awkwardly proportioned body, his ability to sometimes look older than he really is, and his tragic side fringe; he was still beautiful. I wonder if he thought my flaws made me more desirable?

The sound of a condom wrapper being opened distracts me from my thoughts. I watched as Austin rolled it on then grabbed the bottle from next to me, squirting some of the clear liquid onto his fingers, then closing the cap and tossing it on his bed. He lathers the condom in lube, then leans over me, hands going on either side of my shoulders to hold him up. He lined up and leaned down, kissing me softly multiple times as he pushed in. I wrapped my arms around his neck, attempting to pull him closer to me.

He waits a few moments before asking me if I was good, to which I nodded against his shoulder, indicating that he could continue. I hear him breathe out, then feel him pull out before pushing back in seconds later. Austin kept this rhythm going for a few thrusts. He clearly knew what he was doing. Austin wasn’t huge, but he wasn’t small either. He was almost perfect sized, for me anyway. Austin touched on my spot, causing me to let out a tiny moan. I moved my legs to Austin could get a better angle; he leaned down and kissed me before slamming into me.

“Austin,” I panted.

He leaned down and kissed me under my chin as he pushed in again, this time hitting me right where I wanted him to hit me. I could feel Austin’s smirk against my chin as he pulled out and thrusted over and over.

“Fuck, Alan,” Austin moans, grabbing my dick and starting to jack me off. “close,” He mutters leaning back and looking at me, still slamming into me.

I was close, too. But I couldn’t get the words out, not just yet.

“Alan!” Austin exclaims, coming in hot. He was looking up at his ceiling, still jacking me off, with a thin layer of sweat making his tattoos pop.

“Austin,” I moan. He looks at me and starts biting my neck. “I’m going…” That’s all I get until I’m screaming Austin’s name like a whore and cumming all over both of our stomachs.

-=-

“Wanna get a shower? The water will be kind of cold, but it’ll be better than going to bed sweaty.” Austin asks running his fingers through my hair.

Honestly, I just wanted to sleep. I had to be up in eight hours to leave Austin for a month. “I’ll go if you go.” I mumble into his chest.

He climbs off of me and stands next to the bed, extending his hand out to me. “I’ll be in a minute.” He nods towards the bathroom, which I slowly walk to. Having sex takes a lot out of you. I leave the door cracked and walk over to the tub, turning the water on, so it could heat up, even if it was only a little.

I hear the door close and see Austin standing next to it with two towels in his hand. He lays them on the counter where the broken sink sat.

-=-

Our shower basically consisted of me burying myself into Austin, wanting to fall asleep.

But now I was curled up to Austin, my head on his chest, his arms wrapped around me, lightly rubbing my back.

Sleep came really easily.


	21. twenty one

I woke up clinging to a cold pillow instead of a warm body. I glanced at Austin’s alarm clock; it was getting close to seven anyway, might as well get up. I tossed Austin’s comforter away from me and sat up, immediately wanting to lay back down and go back to sleep. I could smell something cooking, so I decided to go investigate.

-=-

I was thankful that I had stopped and changed before I came out because Austin’s dad was sitting on the couch, coffee cup in hand, scanning the newspaper.

He looks over the newspaper when he hears me enter the living room. “Good morning, Alan.” He smiles. “Sleep well?”

I felt a smile come over my face. “Yeah,” He really had no idea.

“That’s good to hear. Austin’s in there cooking.” He motions towards the kitchen with a nod of his head.

“Thanks,” I give him a small smile and walk over to the kitchen. Austin was standing over the stove, a stack of pancakes next to him. He was moving something around, some kind of meat by the smell of it, in a pan with a spatula.

He turns to look at me. “Hey Alan,” He smiles.

“Hey,” I walk over to the sink and grab my tooth brush and toothpaste to quickly brush my teeth.

“I’m making pancakes, bacon, and eggs, is that okay?” He asks.

I nod quickly and spit the toothpaste in the sink, then wash it down.

Austin laughs a little and leaves the stove to walk over to me, grabbing a paper towel as he comes closer. “You have toothpaste all over your mouth.” He brings the towel to my face and wipes it off.

“There, now you don’t look stupid.” He leans down and kisses me quickly, then goes back to the stove.

-=-

“You excited to get back home?” Austin’s dad asks me.

“Yeah, it’s going to be weird, but I guess I’m excited.” I say and grab a piece of bacon from my plate.  
Austin gives me a small smile from his place across from me.

-=-

“Thanks, Mr. Carlile, for letting me stay again.” I smile as Austin unlocks his car door.

“Like I said before, Alan; anytime, and call me Robert.” He smiles leaning against Austin’s car. “You  
need to wash this thing, Aus.” He playfully shoves his son, who rolls his eyes.

“You ready Alan?” Austin asks me from the driver’s side.

“Yeah.” I open the door.

“Drive safe, Austin.” He closes Austin’s door, then stands to look at me. “Have a safe flight, Alan.” He smiles. “I’ll see you sometime next year, I’ll bet.” He laughs then walks to the cracked sidewalk in between the parking lot and the building that Austin lives in. I climb into car and put my seat belt on as Austin’s dad waves us off.

-=-

“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?” Austin asks when we get onto the highway.

I bite my lip and think. “I really want a good burrito.” I sigh.

Austin laughs a little. “They good out there?”

I nod my head enthusiastically, even though he couldn’t see it. “The best, Austin. You should come out sometime, we could go to the beach, eat burritos, not freeze to death.” Have sex…

“Maybe,” He smiles.

-=-

Austin and I got to the airport fifteen minutes later.

“Did you really need to pack three suitcases?”

I roll my eyes as Austin sets them on the curb next to the guy who would take them and my money for having bags to go under the plane. “It’s shit I don’t use or wear.”

Austin sets my final bag on the ground. “Still though,” He smiles. “I’m going to go park really quick, then come back so I can say goodbye without getting yelled at or a ticket.”

“Alright.”

I give the guy my bags and my credit card. He attaches a tag to each bag, then scans each one along with my ticket. “Why do you have so many bags?” He questions.

“I live in California and go to school here; I’m going home for winter break.” I say as he slides my credit card.

“Oh, I understand. You got to Central?”

“Yep.”

“Nice, that’s where my little sister is going.” He smiles. “You a freshman?”

“Yeah,” God this was so awkward, I can’t even imagine getting patted down by a TSA agent.

“Awesome, well, have a nice day.” He smiles and hands me credit card and ticket back. I see Austin walking closer as I turn around.

-=-

It was finally time to go into the terminal so I could go through security.

“I’ll see you next year.” Austin smiles as I grab my backpack off the cement.

“Yeah.” I smile.

“Text me or something when you land, okay?” Austin asks nervously.

“Of course, yeah.”

“Alright, well, um, bye.” Austin awkwardly hugs me.

I take in his scent, because I wouldn’t be able to smell his combination for a month. I wanted to go home, but then I didn’t. I wish Austin could just come with me.

“Bye,” I mumble as he pulls away.

Austin and I kind of just stare at each other for a few seconds until I realize he’s not going to kiss me. If I wanted a goodbye kiss, I was going to have to make the first move.

I lean up and press my lips to his, only briefly though. When I pull back I look at him, nibbling nervously on my bottom lip. I hope I didn’t make him mad or anything.

“Alan…” He whispers then leans down and kisses me; my arms instinctually go around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His hands were on my hips, just resting.

He pulls away a minute later and kisses my forehead, my arms still around his neck, just looser so he could stand up straight. “I’m going to miss you.” I mumble.

“I’m going to miss you, too.” He smiles. “But you’re going to miss your flight, so you need to go.”  
Reluctantly, I let go of him.

“Don’t forget to text me.” He says as I back up slowly.

“I won’t.”

“Bye.” He turns and walks towards the parking lot.

-=-

I had just gotten through security and was now sitting in at my gate on the floor because it was more comfortable than the chairs.

_You’ll never guess what happened last night. I quickly sent to Justin. I needed to waste time and there’s no better way than texting my best friend._

_I think I know ;) but I want you to confirm_

_Austin and I had sex_

_4j9twgsmkagokrog3ko4kgokreogk ALAN!!!_

I couldn’t help but laugh, a couple of people looking over at me.

_I know and then he made me breakfast this morning._

Technically, the breakfast was for his dad, too. But Justin didn’t need to know that. Austin could’ve made us eat cereal.

_if you don’t marry him, I will._

I rolled my eyes. _I’ll call you when I get home to tell you all about it. Anyway, anymore about Andy???_

More and more people were heading over to my gate. I really hope this flight wasn’t packed.

_Um, we skyped last night. He’s so cute, Alan. I’m going to die._

I couldn’t help but smile. Justin has it so bad for this kid. _Was it sexy Skype?_

_I wish ):_

_you’re so weird._

-=-

“My baby!” My mom exclaims as I struggle with my three bags.

“Hi, mama.” I smile setting my bags down so she can hug me, which she does, nearly taking all the air out of my lungs.

“How is my sweet boy?” She asks letting go and looking me over. “You’re so skinny, have you not been eating?” She exclaims nearly lifting my shirt to look at my torso.

“Ma, we’re in a parking lot, stop.” I flinch away from her.

“I’m sorry, baby.” She smiles, hugging me again. “Let’s go get you some food?” She grabs one of my bags, leaving me with the other two.

“Sounds awesome.”

-=-

We arrived at my house an hour later. My mom stopped and got us burritos to eat at home, because now that I was in the California sunshine, I wanted to be back at home.

Mom set my burrito down on the plate in front of me, along with a mountain dew. In a cup, with a straw. I decided not comment because I knew how excited she was.

“So, tell me about it.” My mom asks setting her salad down in front of her chair, then sat down.

“About what?” I ask mid bite.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full, Alan Anthony.” She fuses.

I swallow. “Sorry.”

“So, you have a boyfriend yet?” She asks.

“I, uh, no?”

“You don’t sound so positive.” She smiles. “It’s okay, honey. Tell me all about him.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” She’s so annoying. Austin’s not my boyfriend. I don’t even know what he is, but he’s not my boyfriend. Neither of us has asked the other out.

“Well what about that boy you liked?” She asks, probably referring to Jerry. “What happened with him?”

“It’s complicated, mom.” I sigh. I just wanted to eat my burrito.

“Well, baby, I can handle complicated.”

“We had sex a couple of times, that’s it. I liked him more than he liked me. It was stupid and I regret it.”

“Oh, lord, Alan!” My mom exclaims.

“Mom, it’s not that big of a deal.” I roll my eyes and take a bite of my burrito.

“Alan, it is a big deal. Did you at least use protection? He could have a disease.”

“Mom! God, yes, we used protection.” I sighed.

-=-

Mom insisted on washing all of my clothes, even though most of them were already clean. I just let her, because she wasn’t going to listen to me anyway.

 _Sorry it took so long to reply. I was working. I’m glad you made it home okay. :)_ It was from Austin.

_No, you’re good. I was too distracted with answering all of my mom’s questions._

I climbed up the stairs and made my way down the hallway to my room. It was cleaner than I left it, but that was expected.

I set my backpack on floor and walked over to my bed and let myself fall onto its cushiness. I wanted to curl up and sleep my break away. I had nothing to do, really. I didn’t really talk to any of my friends from high school anymore.

_I bet she’s happy to see you :) did you tell her that you still keep your underwear in the same place? :P_

I rolled my eyes. Austin was so weird. I got another text from him after that. _are you happy to be home?_

I sighed. _it’s great to see my mom, and it’ll be awesome to see my dad when he gets home later, but I’m already so bored._

And I missed Austin.

+++++++

It had been five days of absolute boredom. At least it was Christmas.

“Alan Anthony if you don’t get yourself down here in that Christmas sweater in five minutes I will come up there and put it on you myself!” My mother’s voice carried into my room. How her voice could get that loud was beyond me.

I sighed and got off my bed, bringing my phone with me, just in case I needed to distract myself.

“I’m coming!” I left my door open a crack and hurried down the stairs.

-=-

“It’s about time, Alan.” She fussed pulling the roast of the oven. “Your grandmother wants to see you and quite frankly, you need to get her off my back because your father isn’t doing a good job of it. Now go.” She says and flicks her hand at me once the roast was secured on the counter.

Joy. I wasn’t even going to ask her if I had to, because I knew that would just piss her off, so to the living room I went.

“Is that my little Alan baby?” My grandma coos from the couch she was sitting on.

“Hey grandma.” I walk over to her and lean down over her so she can kiss me, getting her gaudy bright red lipstick all over my face.

“How is my little college boy? Find a girlfriend yet?” She asks as I sit down next to her.

My dad looks over at me from his arm chair. “No, grandma.” I decided not to go into the whole ‘I’ve told you four hundred times that I like boys’ because she’d just ask me again if I had a girlfriend. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about my sexuality, to be honest.

-=-

Dinner was awkward, of course. It was just my parents, my grandma, and I.

“Alan, I want you to sit on that couch and close your eyes, okay?” My dad points at the spot next to my grandma.

I was kind of scared, but I did what he said. I closed my eyes and sighed. I could hear someone walk towards me and felt a box being placed on my lap.

“Okay, Alan, open your eyes.” My mom’s voice was right beside me.

I opened them and saw a box with ASPCA on the side in bright orange; there were holes the size of golf balls around the top and the middle.

Could it be? I excitedly opened the top to a reveal a small yellow and light orange kitten with white feet.

“Oh my god!” I exclaim and pick the little kitten up. My mom moves the box to the floor so I can set the cat on my lap and pet its soft gingery fur.

“The people at the shelter said its name is Mittens, but it’s just a young thing, you could probably change it.” My dad smiles.

“No, Mittens is perfect!” I smile and Mittens mews softly, enjoying the head scratches I was giving her.

I can’t believe I finally got a cat.

-=-

Mittens and I were currently upstairs in my room. She was curled up on my pillow, gently breathing.

I had to tell Austin. I quickly took a picture and sent it to his phone along with a message reading; _I FINALLY GOT A CAT!! Her name is Mittens and she so perfect._

I wonder what Austin’s Christmases were like? Was it just him and his dad? Did he have other family? Did they even do anything?

I looked over at my buzzing phone. _She’s so cute, Alan. :) Did you have a good Christmas?_

_Yeah, my grandma asked me if I had a girlfriend, which was really the only downside. What about you?_

Mittens got up and moved to a different position. I’m glad she liked it here.

_Yeah! It was awesome! I finally got a new a phone! No more shitty enV 2 lol_

Finally. I got so embarrassed for him every time he pulled that thing out in public. _that’s awesome! What kind did you get?_

_a freaking iPhone! I can’t believe it!_

_welcome to 2012 :D_

_rude. Anyway, you want to have our cats facetime later? I think we could have a love connection!_

I laughed. _I’ll face time with you, but my little baby Mittens is too young for Augustus._

_well, I guess you’ll have to suffice :|_

_rude ;) what time?_

_whenever. I’m done for the day, my dad’s at work._

I felt so bad; Austin was basically spending his Christmas alone.

_now?_

-=-

Austin called me on facetime about five minutes later, while I was fixing my hair in my bathroom.

“Hey.” He smiles. He was on his bed, sitting.

“Hi!” I smile back and walk out of my bathroom and into my room, Mittens looks up at me when I close the door.

“What’re you doing?” He asks.

“Nothing, I’m so bored. I’d rather be back at campus.” I say and sit on my bed.

Austin laughs. “Wow, you have a beach and you’re bored?”

“Well I don’t live right on the beach, Austin.” I roll my eyes. “Besides, my mom is really weird and won’t let me go unless I have a friend with me, so here I am, stuck.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I’m eighteen and I can’t even go to the beach by myself.”

“If I was there, I’d go to the beach with you.”

“The come see me.”

Austin sighs. “I wish I could, Alan.”

I frown a little bit. “You sure you can’t?”

“Yeah,” He nods. “But I do have good news for you.” He smiles.

“What?” I ask excitedly.

“I got that long weekend off in January.”

“Really?” This was perfect.

“Yeah, I have to work Friday morning, but I get off at one, meaning we could get there around five at the latest, and then I don’t have to work until that following Tuesday.”

“I can’t wait! This is going to be so much fun!”


	22. twenty two

It’s New Year’s Eve. The one year someone actually likes me, he’s halfway across the country, so no kiss for me this year.

My parents were going out, like they did every year, because they first met on January first, so they go out on December thirty-first and stay out until the wee hours of the morning on the first, leaving me alone.

But this year I had Mittens and a Skype date with my best friend.

“Is that Mittens? Oh my God, Alan; what a precious little girl!” Justin smiles from the screen.

“Aw, thanks.” I smile. “So guess what?”

“What?”

“You best get you some cute underwear because we’re going to see Andy this month!” I smile.

A smile breaks out over Justin’s face. “Austin got the days off?” He asks excitedly.

“Yes! I’m so excited.”

“Are you two going to have dirty ass sex in a dirty ass motel?” Justin asks.

“Um, probably not?”

“You aren’t going to have sex?”

“Well, I don’t know. Are you going to have sex with Andy when you go up there?”

“I want to; you know I’m always available.” Justin laughs. “But seriously? I don’t know. Like I really  
don’t want to rush it with him.”

“Is it love, Justin?” I ask jokingly.

“I could ask you the same question, Ashby.” Justin smirks. “You love your man?”

I roll my eyes. “He’s not my man, Justin, and no, I don’t love him.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Well, to be honest, I’m not sure.

“Hm, okay.”

-=-

Justin had to go to sleep, because it was getting close to five back in Ohio.

I wonder what Austin did tonight; he told me he was going to hang out with Tino and Penelope and Amanda and Aaron, but who knows.

I wish I had friends. Maybe I should have done a better job and kept in touch when I went away.

-=-

 _did you have a good new year?_ It was a text from Austin.

_um, it was okay I guess. Did you? It would’ve been better if you were here or I was there._

_yeah. It was alright. I’m starting to feel like you though, I want to be back on campus. Lol_

_really?_ I hope he missed me as much I missed him.

_yeah, im bored just sitting around the house, you know?_

_yeah, I feel the same way._

-=-

“Alan, wake up, baby.” My mom’s voice called from the door. “We’re going to get you a heavy winter  
jacket and some boots to take back, it’s supposed to snow. Get up.”

As soon as I opened my eyes, I rolled them. This is not what I wanted to do today.

“Do we have to?”

“Yes, now get up. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

-=-

“Which one do you like better?” I ask my mom. Both jackets were nice, but I only needed one.

“Well, honey, I think the white one would make you look like a ghost. You’re too pale, you need to get out in the sun a little.” She nags.

“Okay, okay, I’m getting the black one; we can stop criticizing me now.” I sigh putting the white jacket back on the hook.

“Let’s go look at the other winter clothes, baby, you could use some more sweatshirts.” She says grabbing the jacket from me and pushing me in the direction of another section of the store. “I don’t want my baby to freeze and you’re so skinny, too, most people gain weight when they go away and yet you’re skinnier than ever. Do you eat enough? I know I put money on your credit card so you can go out when you don’t like the cafeteria food, you’re never going to last the winter, Alan.”

“Okay, mom. What do you think about this?” It was a plain, dark gray, hooded pullover, but honestly, I just needed her to shut the fuck up.

“Try it on, I want to make sure it fits before I pay,” She looks at the sign. “forty five dollars for this. Forty five dollars? Jesus Christ, you’d think it was made with gold.”

“Mom, it says two for forty five dollars.” I roll my eyes and slip the sweatshirt on over my head.

“Oh, well that’s embarrassing! I should get some glasses, huh?” She reaches out and pulls the hood over my head. “Very cute, baby. Now turn so I can see you.”

I sighed and turned around quickly so she can make sure it looks good.

“Alright now reach up to the sky to make sure the sleeves are long enough.”

I rolled my eyes and raised my hands over my head, my mom then reaches out and tickles my sides a little bit. “Jesus Christ, mom!” I exclaim and move away from her.

“I got you!” She laughs.

I give her a sarcastic laugh. I can’t believe this is really happening.

“Well, Alan, do you like it?” She asks, still chuckling to herself. Someone needs to get her some friends and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

“It’s nice, it’s warm too.”

“Do you want it?” She asks.

“Yeah,” I shrug.

“Well, pick another color then, because it’s cheaper to buy two.”

I grab a blue one and hand it to her. “This will look good with your hair, honey.” She smiles.

I roll my eyes and take the sweatshirt off.

“What is that?” My mom asks.

Shit. “What is what?” I pull my shirt down quickly.

My mom comes closer and lifts my shirt back up. “You got a tattoo? Alan Anthony Ashby when did you mark your body? You tell me right now.”

“Um, like right before I left for school.”

“I can’t believe this, Alan.” She sighs.

I look at her, waiting for her beat me or something.  
“I need to calm down, Alan is an adult.” She whispers to herself.

“So you’re not mad?” I ask quietly.

“Oh, no, I’m mad, but you’re old enough to make your own stupid decisions, so I’m just going to let it go.” She gives me a small smile. “Now let’s go get you those boots.”

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

“Natalie? Is that you?” I hear my mom question as I slip a pair of black boots on.

“Hi, Mrs. Ashby.” It was definitely Natalie. “Is Alan home with you?”

“Of course! Alan, look who I found, your oldest friend!” My mom drags Natalie over, a tight grip on her tiny wrist.

Natalie sure has changed. Her once long, dirty blond hair has been colored a dark chocolate brown, and cut so it hits right above her shoulders. Her glasses were gone, probably replaced by contacts. She had also gained some weight, but she was near skin and bone when I last saw her, she looked good.

“Hi Natalie.” I smile awkwardly as I tie my boot. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” She smiles. “I actually can’t talk long right now because I have to get to work. I stopped to get a dress for this party tonight,” She stops to think, tucking her hair behind her right ear, like she always has. “You should come! It’ll be fun!”

“Um, I don’t know, Nat,” I mumble.

“Alan, go. You’ve just been sitting up in that room of yours all break.” My mom adds to herself to the conversation.

“Come on, please, Alan?” Natalie begs. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

I sigh. “I guess I could come for a little while.” That would get them both off my back.

“Awesome! I’ll come get you at eight?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Bye Alan and Mrs. Ashby.”

“Bye Natalie.”

-=-

I walked into whoever’s house this was and immediately wanted to leave. The house was on one of the campuses of one of the schools I didn’t get into, the one school that ninety percent of my friends went, so I’d probably see most of them here. Great.

“Come on, Alan.” Natalie sighs and grabs my wrist, dragging me into the house, passed the front door and living room and into the kitchen. “You remember Maddie, right?” She asks pointing to a girl with dark hair.

“Kind of.” I shrug and take the freshly cracked beer can Nat thrusts into my hand. “Hi.” I mumble as Maddie looks at me weird. She kind of waves then walks off somewhere.

Well that was sufficiently awkward. Natalie cracks a beer for herself then grabs me again and drags me into the living room.

“See any cute boys?” She asks.

“For you? He’s kind of cute.” I sigh and point to a football player looking guy with blonde hair and a shitty tribal armband.

“I meant for you.” She laughs. “Although, he is pretty cute.” She laughs and takes a drink.

“Oh, no. I’m not looking.” I take a tiny sip from the blue can and decide that I wasn’t going to finish it. I’d probably set it on a table here soon, then walk away.

“Oh? You have a boyfriend?” She questions. Why does everyone assume that I have boyfriend?

“No,” I shake my head. “but I’m kind of involved with this guy back at campus.”

She nods. “Is he cute?”

“Of course.” I laugh and pull out my phone to show her a picture that Austin had taken of us on my phone. He’s kind of a camera whore, to be honest. But obviously, since my phone wasn’t from 2006, my phone had a better camera so he would take it and take weird pictures.

When I found the picture I wanted, the one where Austin was wearing that red and black flannel that he looked so good in, and I was making a derpy face because he decided to not warn me at all before taking the picture.

“Dang, Alan. Where did you find this one?” She smiles.

“He’s my RA.” I take my phone back from her and lock it, then shove it in my pocket.

She starts laughing. “Really? So this is the guy you called me about? Holy Shit.” She takes a drink. “So they aren’t strict about RAs and residents dating?”

“We aren’t dating.”

“Fucking then? Are they strict about that?”

“I’m not sure. No one really knows about it except my friend Justin and whoever Austin has told.” I shrug.

“Hm, is he the only one?” She asks.

I shake my head. “No, I was seeing this guy Jerry for a while; he was kind of an ass.”

“I’m sorry.” She frowns.

“What about you? Any boys in your life?”

“Hm, no.” She shrugs. "Maybe I can find one tonight."

-=-

Natalie had gone to get more beer. This would be her fourth of the night. She had the one she got when she came in, my beer, plus another. So now she’s going to get another. Someone should tell her that sloppy drunks aren’t cute.

I sighed and leaned against the wall. I just wanted to go home, but I wasn’t going to be that guy that called his mom to come get him a college party.

“Alan, you sure you don’t want a beer?” That Maddie girl from earlier asked; holding a couple of cans in her arms.

‘Yeah, I’m actually about to leave. Thanks though.” I give her a small smile as she walks away.

Natalie comes back a few minutes later, a red cup in her hand. I guess she’s upgraded to the harder stuff.

“Nat, I’ve had a good time,” I lie. “but I’m going to head out.”

“No! Alan! Please stay!” She begs.

“I really got to go, it’s almost midnight, my mom will be worried.” My mom really didn’t give me a curfew, surprisingly, but I knew Natalie would believe me when I said I had one.

“Oh,” She pouts. “Well, maybe I can see you before you go back?” She takes a drink.

“Yeah, maybe.” I smile and hug her.

-=-

I’m grateful that I know where the bus station is. Once got closer to it, I’d call my dad and have him pick me up. My mom would flip that I walked around the city by myself.

I was about twenty minutes away from the bus station, five minutes away from the house. Honestly, I was kind of freaked out. There’s nothing more terrifying than walking around past midnight, especially on a college campus where I wasn’t exactly sure if I was going to be safe. I could hear someone walking behind me and even though I’m fairly certain they weren’t going to hurt me, I decided to get my phone out and call someone. It’s something that my mom always told me to do, because apparently being on the phone with someone would stop someone from attacking.

Even though it would be super late, I called Austin. Even if he didn’t answer I could leave a voicemail.

The phone rings a couple of times.

“Hello?” Austin’s tired voice is seriously about the cutest thing in the world.

“Hey, sorry to wake you.” I bite my lip.

I could hear him move in what I’m assuming to be his bed, then a door close quietly. So quietly I could barely hear it. “No, it’s okay. What are you doing?” He asks, still with a tired tone to his voice.

“Walking back from this lame party Natalie dragged me to.” I hear sliding, probably a sliding door open, then close. That’s weird because Austin’s apartment doesn’t have a sliding door. Maybe he’s at Tino’s or something.

“Oh, that sounds fun.” He laughs.

“Yeah, not really. What are you doing?” I ask as I turn down the street.

“Um, well I was sleeping.”

“Before that, then.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see them.

“Just hanging out, you know.” He sighs.

“Oh,” I mumble.

-=-

When I got to the bus station, Austin and I got off the phone.

 _Austin’s acting weird ):_ I sent to Justin. He was, I mean why wouldn’t he talk to me? Why wouldn’t he mention where he was?

 _I know it’s late, but can you come get me at the bus station?_ I quickly sent to my dad.

After I sent the message I showed my pass to the driver and climbed on.

-=-

“Alan.” My dad says standing next to his black CR-V.

I sighed and walked over. I knew I was going to get asked a million questions. “Hey dad.” I mumble and walk over to the passenger side.

“Hey, son.” He climbs in the driver’s side and I climb in the passenger side. “So, what happened?” He asks putting his seatbelt on.

“It was a dumb party, so I left.” I sigh and put my own seat belt on.

“Are you okay?” He asks looking at me. “Did something happen?”

I shake my head and look out the window. He wouldn’t understand my problems with Austin.

“Alan.”

I turn and look at him. “What?”

“Did something happen?”

“No, the party was stupid I just stood there.”

“How did you get to the bus station?”

“I walked.”

“Did something happen on your walk?”

I sighed. I guess I could tell him. It would be better than telling my mom about it.

“Let’s you and me go grab some ice cream and talk about it, okay?”

“Dad it’s nearly two in the morning.”

“We won’t tell your mother.” He laughs and puts the car in reverse to get out of his parking spot.

-=-

“So this Austin fellow, he’s the one that invited you to Thanksgiving, right?” My dad asks as pays for the ice cream. I had started explaining Austin and my’s relationship from the beginning. I had gotten past all of the awkwardness, getting to Thanksgiving break in record time, considering it only took thirty minutes to get from the bus station to our favorite ice cream parlor. I also completely left out any mention of Jerry, because my dad would just get upset.

“Yeah,” I grab my ice cream from the lady and wait for my dad to get his. Thank God California has 24/7 ice cream places open in January.

“So, are you dating him or?” He asks even though the person making his ice cream was listening. I didn’t really care.

“Um, no, not really.” I sigh as the lady gives him his ice cream. “I mean we mess around though.”

My dad looks at me as I slide in the farthest booth from the counter. “Safely, I hope.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course, dad.”

“So what’s the problem then? You want to be boyfriends and he doesn’t want to be?” He asks then shoves his spoon in his cup and takes a bite.

“Yeah, kind of, although, I’d be happy with what we are now,” I sigh. “but he’s acting weird.”

“Acting weird how?”

I swallow the lick of ice cream I had taken while my dad was answering. “Like I called him when I was walking to the bus station because there was someone behind me, you know, safety first, or whatever, and I could tell he wasn’t at his house.”

My dad looks at me like I’m crazy. “How?”

“Well, a) he left the room when answered the phone, why would he do that unless someone was there and b) I heard him open and close a sliding door, his apartment doesn’t have one those.”

“So you’re assuming there’s another guy.”

My dad was scary sometimes. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. Justin had this theory that when I first got back to campus after Austin and I kissed that he was still with Shayley while he was with me, but then he and Shayley got in a fight, so I assumed that was over, but now I don’t know. If he was going to be with anyone at this point, it would be Shayley. Probably.”

“Maybe you should just ask him if he’s still seeing Shayley.” My dad offers.

If only it was that simple.


	23. twenty three

I had only been outside for two seconds and I already wanted to die. Why did Ohio have to be so cold? I could see my breath and I could see several other people’s breath as well. Of all the times for Justin to go the speed limit, he chooses when it feels like I’m in the Arctic Circle.

“Alan I think you’re turning blue.” I look up and see Austin’s smiling face looking at me. No fucking way.

I felt a smile break across my face. “No way.” He hugs me; his scent comes pouring into my nose, the cinnamon, the axe, the clean.

“Yes way.” He laughs. He was dressed for the weather, a thick pea coat looking thing that hit him in the right places, a black beanie shoved over his head, jeans without holes and black motorcycle looking boots. “Come on, let’s get in the car, it’s freezing.” He grabs one of my bags and leads me into the parking lot and over to his car.

“Sorry there’s shit in the back seat. I had to pick some stuff up for Phil.” He says popping the drunk and setting my bags inside.

“No, it’s fine.” I smile. I was so happy to see him.

Austin closes the trunk. “You surprised?” He smiles.

I nod. “Yeah, Justin told me he was getting me.”

“Yeah, but then I asked him if I could pick you up.” He grabs my hand. “I missed you.”

“Really?” I ask biting my lip.

“Yeah, really.” He rolls his eyes sarcastically.

“I missed you, too.” I smile as Austin lets go of my hand and leans in, pressing his cold lips against  
mine, only slightly.

“Come on. I’m freezing.” Austin laughs.

-=-

“So what’s in the boxes?” I ask as I put my seatbelt on.

“Stuff from the party store that Phil had ordered.” Austin rolls his eyes. “We’re having a floor party soon and since he’s too busy with Anouk he asked me to pick the stuff up.”

“Oh, what kind of party?”

“Well, Alan, it’s a secret. You already know too much.” He smirks.

Oh lord.

-=-

“So Vince isn’t back yet?” Austin asks as we set my suitcases on the floor. I had managed to only bring two back, instead of three.

“Nope, he’s coming back in two days, like everyone else.”

“Lucky you.” Austin smiles.

“Yeah I guess.”

-=-

I was in Austin’s room, on Austin’s bed, lying on top of Austin. No real kissing, mostly just enjoying each other’s company. Austin was still wearing his stupid beanie. It was only stupid because he looked so good in it.

I don’t even bother to look up when I hear Austin’s door open.

“Oh. I thought—never mind.” Tino sighs and sets his bag on the floor, then I hear the door close.

“What is he talking about?” I ask.

“I don’t know.” Austin changes the subject rather quickly. “What classes do you have this semester?”

“Um, Mondays and Wednesdays I have Biology, Tuesdays and Thursdays I have Biology Lab and Intro to Cultural---“

“Wait, why are you taking an Anthropology class?”

“Um, well, I thought it was something totally different than it was.” I mumble.

“What did you think it was?” Obviously Austin thought this was hilarious.

I sighed. “I thought it had something to do with animals.”

Austin tries not to laugh, but it doesn’t work.

“You’re an asshole.” I say sarcastically.

Austin somehow flips us over so he’s on top of me.

“What was that?” He asks looking into my eyes. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

“Y-you’re an asshole.” I repeat, almost scared.

“Oh,” Austin leans down and kisses my neck. “am I?” He mumbles while pressing tiny kisses against my neck and running his hands down my sides.

-=-

“Come on, it’s dinner time.” Austin moves the mattress a little with his foot, then slides his beanie back on. What is the obsession with the fucking beanie?

“No,” I pull the blanket up over my head.

“Alan, I’m hungry. Don’t make me pull this blanket off you.”

“I’m naked though.” I mumble into his pillow.

“Not my fault.” I hear one of his drawers open.

“Actually it is,” I decided he’s not going to leave me alone until I get up, so I sit up in my spot on his bed.

“Could’ve told me no.” He laughs.

-=-

I finally got dressed and Austin held my hand as we walked to the cafeteria.

“So did you cry when you left Mittens?” He asks when I set my plate on the table.

“Yes.” I sit down. “You don’t understand how perfect she is, Austin.”

“I’m glad you’re so happy with her.” Austin smiles.

“You should come meet her sometime.”

“Maybe,” Austin smirks.

-=-

“So, Justin’s going to be here in a few minutes …” I mumble looking at Austin.

“Go see him; I have some stuff to do anyway.” Austin shrugs and continues unpacking.

“What kind of stuff?” I question.

“Just stuff, Alan.”

_Just stuff._

-=-

“Is he still acting weird?” Justin asks from my desk chair.

“Yeah, I mean we had sex earlier and he basically just got right up and was like let’s go to dinner.” I rolled my eyes and shoved my clean laundry into my drawers.

“I’m sorry, Alan.” Justin pouts. “You want me to do some snooping for you?” He asks.

Another eye roll. “No, Justin. It’s not like he’s my boyfriend. I just wish he’d be honest.”

-=-

I looked up when I saw the doorway darken. I was back in my room because Justin had gotten a call from Andy.

“Why is your door open?” Austin asks.

“I don’t know.” I shrug.

“Want to go see a movie?” He asks from the doorway.

“I guess.” I shove my phone in my pocket and hop down to my dresser. “What movie?”

“Um, that’s not important.” He smirks.

I give him a confused look. “Just tell me.”

He sighs. “Texas Chainsaw…in 3D.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s scary, Austin.” I sigh. “You know my phobia of scary things.”

“I’ll protect you; you can sleep in my room after, if you want.” Austin offers.

“I’ll go, but only if you don’t get mad at me if I leave during it.”

“I would never.”

-=-

I barely made it halfway through before I had to get the fuck out of there.

The movie theatre lobby was packed full of weird teenagers going on about the new movies that would be coming out next week. There was a poster on the wall for some movie called Mama that I knew Austin would want to see eventually.

“Hey,” Austin sits next to me at the table I was occupying.

“You could’ve finished the movie.”

“Eh, it was getting kind of dumb. Let’s go do something else?”

“It’s close to midnight, Austin. Can we just go back to the dorm?”

“Yeah of course.”

-=-

“You want to stay in my room?” Austin asks as we get out of the elevator.

I nod. “But first what is with this stupid beanie?” I ask.  
“Huh?”

I sigh and pull it off his head. “Alan!” He exclaims, trying to stop me.

“You got a haircut.” I smile as I shove the beanie into my back pocket.

Austin looks annoyed.

“Let me see,” I smile. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before, but the only time I had seen him with it off was when I was too distracted by him fucking me so, I guess it’s understandable.

“I hate it.” He sighs.

It didn’t look bad, in fact, it looked a lot better than his old hair style. It was shorter on the sides and longer on the top so he could make it stick up if he decided.

“I like it.” I smile and reach up and make the front stick up the best I could seeing that he’s taller than me and I had to stand on my toes.

“You do?”

“Yeah, it looks nice.” I smile.

“That’s what my dad said.”

I bite my lip. “Well, then it looks sexy.” I smile.

“Sexy, huh?” He chuckles a little.

I nod. “Very.”

“Hm, well how about you come show me how I should style it then?”

I playfully roll my eyes. “I guess I could do that.”

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

Anthropology was probably the most boring subject in the world. This PowerPoint was about five hundred slides long and I couldn’t take looking at another picture of some European town. At least I only had a week and half until I got to spend a nice weekend with Austin, my best friend, and my best friend’s kind of boyfriend.

“Alright, I’m going to stop talking now because most of you look like you’re about to keel over and die.” My professor, a short woman with dark hair and big glasses chuckles to herself. I wonder if she realized that no one cared. “Before you all go running towards the door, I’m going to remind you that you have homework due at our next meeting period, which is Thursday at 10:30, so don’t be late. Alright, go.” She dismisses us and starts putting her stuff away.

I collected my things into my backpack and walked down the two levels to the main floor.

“Oh, Alan, can you come here for a moment?” She asks as I try to leave.

Fuck me.

“Yes, Dr. Pence?” I ask as I walk towards her table.

“I’m concerned about this.” She slides my homework that I did last week over the table at me, a big  
red F at the top of the paper.

I sighed. “I’m not good at this stuff, I’m sorry.” I mumble.

“Alan, I understand that anthropology isn’t for everyone,” She starts and pulls out a piece of paper “but, unfortunately it’s too late to drop the class and get put into another one.” She frowns.

“What should I do then?” I ask.

She scribbles something on a piece of paper. “Here’s the information for a tutor, his name is Brandon, he’s one of my best students.”

“Okay, thank you.” I mumble and shove the paper in my pocket.

-=-

“Are you going to go to the tutor?” Austin asks me over lunch. Thankfully my biology labs on Tuesdays and Thursdays hadn’t started yet and weren’t taking place often, leaving me with only two classes this semester since I took so many last semester, you’d think they would’ve fixed that, but apparently not.

“Yeah, I can’t fail this stupid class.” I sigh and grab a fry off my plate.

“Well, I mean it shouldn’t be too bad, I think I know this kid, he’s cute.” Austin shrugs while he steals a couple of fries off my plate.

“Is he good?” I didn’t care if he was cute.

Austin nods. “Yeah, he’s a graduate student getting his PhD, I think."

“Do you know where this building is?” I hand him the paper.

“Yeah, it’s next to Rodgers.”

Rodgers, that’s where Shayley lives. “Hm, okay. Can you show me tomorrow?” I ask.

“Yeah, of course.”

-=-

“Alan!” I looked down at the door as it swings open and Justin closes it quickly, nearly out of breath.

He holds up his pointer finger to signal that he needed a moment. Vince is staring at Justin like he’s never experienced such a thing.

“What?” I ask as I set my biology book next to me.

“Andy.” He pants.

“What about him.”

He sighs. “He just asked me if he got to kiss me when he saw me.” He somehow manages to get out in between pants and gasps.

“Are you serious?” I quickly jump down to my dresser.

“Yes!” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and I rush to get over to him, nearly slipping thanks to the slippery linoleum floor and my socks.

I unlock his phone and go to the Andy<3 message thread.

A: so you’re really coming to see me next weekend?!  
J: yeah! And Alan and Austin are coming!! It’s going to be so much fun!  
A: well do I get to kiss you then? You know, when you get here?

“Why haven’t you replied yet?” I ask handing him his phone.

Justin, who has now caught this breath looks at me. “I don’t know what to say!”

“What do you mean you don’t know what to say?” I ask.

“Well, I don’t know. I want to kiss him, so badly, but I’m just confused.” He sighs.

“Why are you confused Justin?

“I don’t know.” He sighs dramatically and leans against Vince’s desk.

“You confuse me." I sigh. "Just tell him he can.”

“Should I?” He questions.

“Yes, Justin. You obviously like him, just let him go for it.” I roll my eyes.

“Yeah?” He asks taking his phone out.

“Yes, now stop distracting me, I have homework. Go sext him or something.”

Justin winks at me and then leaves.

“That was awkward,” Vince comments from his bed, continuing to kill zombies.

“Tell me about it.”

-=-

Vince was already gone when I woke up. I got down and turned the alarm off on my phone quickly, it was way too loud and annoying.

I didn’t want to class today and I definitely didn’t want to go to this stupid tutor later.

Why did I sign up for Anthropology?

-=-

Biology went quickly because I fell asleep. Justin could just go over the PowerPoint with me later. That’s what friends are for right?

“How was class?” Austin asks setting his plate down.

“Boring as hell, what about you?”

“Awesome.” He smiles squirting a generous amount of ketchup on his plate.

“What are you even taking?”

His smile gets bigger. “I just had History Of Japan and after lunch I have History of Graphic Design.”

“Well I’m glad one of us likes our classes.” I roll my eyes and take a bite of my grilled cheese.

-=-

“Ready to go meet Bran?” He asks.

Bran? “Who’s that?”

Austin laughs a little. “Your tutor, most people call him Bran.”

Why did that sound so familiar?

Austin leads me past the statue where I heard him tell Shayley he didn’t like me that way, passed Shayley’s residence hall and over to a modern looking building with a small sign outside of the door reading Humanities Department in bold black lettering.

“Okay, Alan. Go up to the fourth floor, that’s where the offices and conference rooms are.” He smiles.  
I nod and he gives me a quick kiss.

“Let me know when you’re done, we’ll grab dinner.”

And then he’s gone.

-=-

The inside of the humanities building was really nice. They had smooth vinyl couches in red and gray and glass tables and glass display cases filled with old things.

“Hey, you must be Alan.” A tall guy with nearly blinding blond hair smiled at me from the doorway.

He looked weirdly familiar but I couldn’t place it. I had probably just seen him around campus. He extends his hand for me to shake it, which I do. His hands were slightly calloused and warm.

“That’s me.”

He looks confused for a minute. “Ah, anyway, come on in.”

I follow him into a medium sized room. There were more glass display cases, these were covered with more old things and pictures of Brandon in dirt. His desk was metal, but with a glass top, two comfy looking chairs in front of it. There was another table with four comfy chairs surrounding it in front of a glass book case holding a ton of books.

“So you can just make yourself comfortable wherever.” He says and waits for me to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“So you’re having trouble with anthropology, huh?” He asks as he sits in his desk chair.

“Yeah, I had no idea what it was when I signed up for it.”

He laughs a bit. “I take it that you’re undecided?”

I nod.

“Nice, well, hopefully I can help you get through this class.”

“Yeah, hopefully.”


	24. twenty four

I do have to say that my grades were improving since I had started to go see Bran, and by improving I mean I had gotten my homework up to C work. But hey, at least I wasn’t failing.

But it was still bothering me that I couldn’t remember where I had seen him before, I know I had, he was too unique to just be some random person.

“So do you think you got it?” He asks me after explaining Hunter-Gathers and their switch to different style of farming.

“I guess.”

“Alan, I know you don’t like this class, but can you please try?”

I sighed. I just wanted to leave. The faster I got out of here, the faster I could go to sleep and the faster tomorrow would come. Tomorrow I would be in a shady motel room with Austin while Justin met Andy.

“Let’s try it again,” He sighs.

-=-

“Did you pack yet?” Austin asks as he digs around in his closet.

“Nope,” I pull his blanket up; even though I had my hoodie on still, it was so cold in here. I don’t know how Austin handled it.

“Why not?” Austin pulls out a duffle bag and turns to look at me.

“Just haven’t gotten around to it.” I mumble.

“Alan, we leave tomorrow.”

“I know; I’ll get to it.”

“You sure?” He smiles.

I nod. “Mhm, I can’t walk around naked.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” He laughs.

“You’d mind when I got a cold and sneezed all over you.”

“I’d still think you were cute though.” He shrugs and opens his top drawer.

-=-

“What should I bring?” I ask Justin who was currently going through my closet.

“Try this on,” He extends his arm to show me one of my tighter sweaters.

“Well damn, Justin.” I sigh and take it from him. “Why?”

“Just do it.”

I set the sweater on Vince’s desk and lift my shirt over my head, then slide the sweater on.

“Good, now turn.” Justin commands.

I sigh and turn. I felt like I was back at home.

“This will work. You’re taking this.” Justin smiles and continues going through my closet.

I pull the sweater over my head and replace it with my comfy sleeveless black shirt. “Why?”

“Um, you’ll need it, trust me.”

What did he know that he wasn’t telling me?

-=-

I slept in Justin’s room last night because he wouldn’t stop texting me every five minutes because he was so nervous.

“I’m going to puke, Alan.” Justin sighs setting his bag on his bed.

“You will be fine, Justin. He’s going to love you.”

“What if he goes to kiss me and I have a booger in my nose or bad breath or something in my teeth?”

“I will make sure you don’t, Justin.”

“You will?” He asks hopefully.

“Yes, please calm down,” I sigh.

-=-

“What time does Austin get off work?” Justin asks before taking a bite of his burrito.

“One,” I look at my phone, that was in an hour.

“That’s so soon.” Justin sets his burrito on his plate and looks out the window.

I set my own burrito down. “Justin, it’s going to be fine.”

“Just what if he sees me and thinks I’m ugly or something.”

I rolled my eyes. “Justin, that’s impossible, okay? He obviously really likes you, just stop thinking  
negative thoughts, okay? It’s not helping anything.”

“Thanks Alan.” He smiles.

-=-

“Are you ready?” Austin asks from my open door.

I nod and pick up my suitcase. “Yeah, is Justin?”

“Yeah, he’s coming; he was just checking his account balance really quick.” Austin stops talking when I walk over to him. He leans down and kisses me, resting his hand on my hip. I drop my bag on the floor and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Austin deepens the kiss by running his tongue across my bottom lip, I let him in.

“Um, is this going to take long?” I hear Justin’s voice and Austin pulls away. I’ve never been more annoyed with Justin in my life.

“Um, we were just going to go come see if you were ready.” Austin mumbles, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

“You were about to come, but not to find me.” Justin smirks at his lame joke and looks at me as Austin starts walking down the hallway.

“Thanks for ruining that, Jus.” I pick my bag off the ground and lock the door, then head in Austin’s direction.

“I didn’t know you’d be mouth fucking when I got over here, sorry!” Justin whines and follows me.

-=-

“You excited Justin?” Austin looks into the rearview mirror at him and I turn so I could see both of them. “Alan! Do you have your seatbelt on?”

“Yes, mother.” I roll my eyes and Austin quickly gives me a dirty look before returning his attention back to the road.

“I’m nervous.” Justin comments from the backseat.

“Why?” Austin asks as he switches lanes.

“Because I’m afraid he’s not going to like me as much in person as he does like not in person.” He sighs.

“Justin,” Austin sighs. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

-=-

The rest of the drive went quickly, sometime during the drive Austin’s iPod started playing Linkin Park and I ended up in the back of the car with Justin headbanging. Austin wasn’t amused, but he’d have to deal with it.

Austin grabbed my hand and led me into the office, Justin following right behind us.

“Hello,” The lady behind the counter greets us.

“Hi,” Austin smiles, I stand behind him. Austin told me that he was paying for the motel; even though I told him numerous times that I would pay. He wouldn’t even let me pay half of it.

“What can I help you with?” She asks.

“Um, I need a room for three nights.”

“Two beds?” She asks looking at me. Justin was hanging back by the door.

“Um, no, one is fine.”

She looks somewhat confused.

“We are sharing a bed.” Austin clarifies.

“Oh. Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” She starts rambling.

“It’s fine.” Austin mumbles.

“Um, just fill out this form and then come back in.” She smiles and hands us a clipboard, then turns to Justin. “Are you checking in, too?”

Justin nods and comes closer, taking the clipboard from her as she sets it on the counter.

I follow Austin outside, Justin trailing behind us.

“That was awkward.” He mumbles and starts writing his information down.

“Yeah,” I laugh. I thought it was funny, Austin obviously didn’t feel the same way.

-=-

Austin and Justin had finished filling out their paperwork and we got rooms, next to each other, of course.

“Austin I feel like I’m going to get bedbugs.” I sigh and step into the room.

“Don’t be dramatic, Alan.” He sighs and walks over to the bed, setting his duffle down.

“No! Set that on the table!” I rush over and take it from him and set it on the weird counter thing that held the TV and various take out menus.

“Why?”

“I have to check this for bedbugs.” I sigh and move past him, moving the pillows down the bed and pulling the sheets up to look at the corner.

“Alan, you’re so dramatic.”

“Look, Austin. I’m not going to get bed bugs, neither are you.”

-=-

Austin was on top of me, hands in my hair, mouth moving against mine. My own arms were loosely wrapped around his waist, trying to lift his shirt up, even just a little. Austin, however was being stubborn, and every time I would get it passed a couple of inches, he’d detach his mouth from mine, mumble ‘not yet’ and then shove his shirt back down.

Such a fucking tease.

“Austin fucking Carlile, open this door!” Was followed by intense pounding on the door. It was an unfamiliar voice, but Austin must have recognized it because he immediately got up and nearly ran over to the door.

“Hell yeah!” Austin yells as he opens the door, four guys come into our room, not really noticing me, thank goodness. Austin hugs each of them before they start yelling again.

I was extremely confused, to be honest.

“It’s been way too long!” A guy with long, dark hair exclaimed. He kind of reminded me of Phil, but just because of the similar hair.

“I know! But all of you losers had to come up here!” Austin laughs and pulls the other one with long hair into a hug.

“Alan!” Austin says quite loudly as two more guys come into the room.

I look over at him and he motions me over to him.

He introduces me to each of them, it’s a lot to take in. He started with Phil’s hair twin, whose name was Josh, then there was Eric, who just looked happy to here. Kyle was next, he had brown hair that was kind medium length, but it suited him. Then there was Dave, who had glasses and seemed very nice. I recognized Andy, but Austin still introduced him to me, then there was Andy’s obvious best friend, who was called Lou.

Andy looked kind of confused, I guess because Justin wasn’t in the room. I wonder if he thought he stood him up.

“Where do you losers want to eat?” Austin asks and everyone starts throwing ideas around. I hadn’t really noticed, but it was getting close to seven.

“I’m going to go get Justin.” I tell Austin and Andy’s face lights up.

I almost wanted to tell him to come with me, but who knows what Justin was doing right now. I excused myself from the huge bro-reunion going on and walked the three feet to Justin’s room.

“Let me in.”

Justin opens the door. “What is all the yelling about?” He asks as I walk into his room.

“Andy and his friends are in my room right now.”

“Andy?”

“Yes,”

“Oh god, I don’t even look presentable, what do I wear, oh god.”

I sighed and dumped his bag onto his bed. “Those jeans.” I point to the ones he’s wearing. “With this.”

I hand him a purple and black striped sweater.

“You sure?”

“Yes, now change,” I mumble and walk over to his door. “and brush your teeth.”

“Does my breath smell?”

“No, but it’s better to have fresh breath,”

I reach for the door handle. “Wait, Alan.”

“What?” I sigh.

“Is he as cute as his picture?”

“Even cuter.” I smile, it was the truth. “Now get ready.”

-=-

“So you must be Alan?” Andy asks when I get back to my room.

“That’s me.” I smile.

“Awesome.” He nervously laughs. This was either going to be the best or the worst thing to happen.

“And you’re Austin’s boyfriend?” He asks.

“Oh, um, no.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just assumed because you two are in here with one bed and Justin tells me you two hang out a lot…”

“Um, we’re talking I guess, don’t worry about it.”

Andy smiles at me and I can see why Justin’s so head over heels for him.

“Do you want to come with me to check on Justin? It’ll be less awkward for you two to meet that way, you know without four hundred people staring at you.” I offer.

Andy’s smile gets bigger. “Really?” He asks.

“Yeah, come on.”

“Actually, I have something for him, do you mind if I run to the car really quick?”

“No go ahead, just come to room 204.”

-=-

Justin was currently fixing his hair for the hundredth time, making sure every hair was in the right place.

“If you keep using all of that hairspray, the hole in the ozone layer will get bigger.” I comment from his bed, which I had checked for bedbugs. Thank my mother for that.

Justin gives me a dirty look in the mirror so he didn’t even have to turn around.

There was a knock at the door.

“Are you ready?” I ask him as I get off his bed and walk over to the door.

“Yeah.” He sets his hair products on the counter and turns to look at me. “I look okay, right?”

“For the zillionth time, yes!”

“Thanks, Alan.” He smiles.

“Do you want me to stay in here?”

“No, I’m good.”

“I’m going to open the door.”

“Okay, do it.”

I open the door slowly and see Andy standing there with small bouquet of light red carnations.

“Go on in, he’s finally ready.’ I smile and walk out on the walkway. I stand next to the railing, where I could see in the window. Andy hugs Justin and gives him the flowers, a huge smile on Justin's face.

That’s when I decide to head back to my and Austin’s room, I wasn't going to awkwardly creep outside of his window.

“Where’s Andy?” Lou asks me when I come back in.

“With Justin.” I smile and Austin looks over at me.

-=-

I talk to Lou and Dave for a couple minutes before Andy and Justin show up at the door, holding hands.

“Are we ready?” Andy asks.

Since it was now getting closer to 7:45, everyone nodded and we made our way downstairs.

_+_+_+_+_+_

I was seated in between Austin and Justin, which was good because I didn’t know any of these other people. Justin and Andy were carrying on their own conversation next to me. Andy was smiling as Justin told him something was holding his hand. I was really happy for Justin, being so happy and all, but damn, I was so jealous.

Austin was talking to his friends and I guess I couldn’t really be upset about that. He hadn’t seen them in while so I guess I can understand why he was kind of ignoring me.

We had ordered four pizzas and a bunch of appetizers, along with drinks. The guys that had fake IDs, which was most of them, got beer, leaving Justin and I pretty much the only ones with glasses of coke in front of us.

“You want a drink of this?” Austin asks in reference to his beer.

I shake my head. “No thanks.”

He shrugs and goes back to talking to Dave.

Thanks, Austin.

-=-

All of the guys were sitting in our hotel room, Justin and Andy had gone back to his room, so who knows what was going to happen there. Josh and Dave were sitting at the table next to the door. I was on the bed next to Austin, Lou was on the edge of the bed talking to Eric, and Kyle was leaning against the wall.

I was already annoyed and we had only been back for five minutes. It’s not that they weren’t nice, because they were; I just wanted to spend some time with Austin like I had planned.

“So how do you like Ohio?” Eric asks me.

“It’s cold.” I say quietly. “So I’m not exactly thrilled with it.”

Eric and Lou both laugh. “You’ll get used it. Are you coming back next year?” Lou asks.

“Um, hopefully.”

“I hope you come back.” Austin adds.

-=-

“I think we’re gonna head out,” Dave announces getting up.

“So soon?” Austin laughs.

They had been here for like three hours; it was almost one in the morning.

“Yeah, I think we have to go pry lover boy away from Justin, so, I’ll see you sometime this weekend, right?” Dave asks Austin.

“Yeah, absolutely, just not tomorrow.” Austin smiles.

I wonder what’s going on tomorrow?

“Yeah, I know.” Dave laughs. How come he knows but I don’t?

-=-

After Austin hugs everyone, they leave. I hear them walk down to Justin’s room and leave shortly after.

I watch as Austin gets up and walks into the bathroom, not really saying anything. Well if he was going to be all weird, I was going to go see what Justin was doing.

I got up and walked over to the bathroom door.

“Austin?” I knocked quickly.

The door opens and Austin is standing there with only a towel around his waist.

“Yeah?” He asks with a slight smile on his face.

“Oh, sorry.” I look up at him, even though I just wanted to stare at his almost naked body. “I was just going to tell you that I was going to see Justin.”

Austin kind of frowns. “You don’t want to stay here with me?” He asks moving closer.

“I didn’t know what you were doing.” I bite my lip.

“Well, I was going to shower, but if you stay we can do something instead.” He smirks.

“Like what?” I question as he moves even closer, pressing his hand against the wall so he’s leaning right over me.

He leans down and kisses me, his other hand slipping under my shirt.

-=-

I was on top of Austin, naked, he was naked too, his hands in my hair, my hands on his chest, our mouths moving together perfectly, lower regions grinding against each other.

“Alan,” Austin quietly moans into my mouth.

“Hm,” I remove my lips from his and start kissing his neck, everyone once and a while biting a little.

“I need you,” He pants.

I pull back and look at him, his hands going to my thighs. I could feel that needed me, he could probably feel I need him just as much.

“Where are they?” I ask, referring to the condoms.

“Backpack’s front pocket.”

I sigh and get up then go over to his backpack and open the front pocket. I could feel Austin looking at me as I dig through before finding the lube and a condom. I turned and looked at him; Austin closed his eyes and lay back on the pillow. I climbed onto the bed and resumed my position on top of Austin, who still had his eyes closed. I leaned up and placed small kisses on his cheek. His eyes open and he touches my face. I grab the condom and try to open it with my fingers, but that doesn’t work, so I put the corner in between my teeth and pull until opens. Austin smiles a bit, obviously understanding that I don’t have much experience opening condoms.

I take it out of the wrapper and roll it on Austin, pumping him a little bit as I do. Austin’s eyes close a little and he bites his lip.

I grab the lube and squirt some on my hand; this was so weird; I usually didn’t do this. I lubed Austin up; pumping him a little more to make sure he’s covered. The reach down and use the excess lube to stretch myself a little.

Austin nods at me and I get on top of him, slowing pushing myself down. Austin moans and I wince a little bit, obviously I didn’t do a good enough job of stretching myself.

When I finally get all the way down I lean over and kiss Austin’s neck, moving slowly up to his cheek, then his lips. Austin moves his hands to my hair and deepens the kiss as I start to grind against him, lifting my hips and slowly moving them back down, grinding the best I could. I put my hands on his chest so I can get a better angle.

“Alan,” Austin moans into our kiss, tangling his fingers in my hair. “Mm, harder.” I pull up quickly and slam back down grinding against him.

Austin untangles one of his hands from my hair and moves from our kiss, he then spits on his hand and attaches his lips to mine once again.

I grind against him again and he moves his hand down to my dick and starts pumping in time with my grinds.

“I’m close,” I moan into his mouth, Austin bites at my bottom lip.

Austin pumps faster and I moan his name into his mouth as I cum onto both of our chests. I straighten my back, but continue to grind our hips, Austin’s hands on mine; his finger nails would definitely leave a mark. “I’m going,” he mumbles. “Alan!” He closes his eyes as his back arches and cums.

-=-

Austin and I were cuddled up in bed, all clean from the shower we took only about five minutes ago. We were watching some show on Starz that we had come into about forty minutes late. Hopefully something different would be on, because this was really boring, but at least I was cuddling with Austin.

“Did you like my friends?” Austin asks quietly.

I look up at him. “They were alright, kind of loud.”

Austin smiles. “Yeah, what about Andy?”

“He’s nice; I think he and Justin will be good together.”

“Told you,” He smirks.

“Whatever,” I roll my eyes and get back into my previous position of watching this boring show.


	25. twenty five

I woke up the next morning to Austin placing soft kisses on my cheek and lightly rubbing my side.

“Wake up,” He nuzzles into my neck and places a few kisses there.

I sigh and scoot closer. “Can’t we just stay here?”

I feel him laugh against my neck. “No, we have stuff to do.” He pulls back and looks at me.

“Like what?”

“It’s a surprise, but you need to get up.” He turns and sits on his side of the bed, stretches a bit and then gets up, almost running into the chair that Josh hadn’t pushed in, and neither Austin or I really cared to push back in. “Come on, Alan, up,” He sighs after he turns to me.

“But I’m warm and comfy.”

Austin rolls his eyes. “I don’t care, get up.”

-=-

I had gotten dressed and ran a brush threw my hair, Austin shooed me over to Justin’s room, because he had to get ready.

I knocked quickly on Justin’s door, only to have a shirtless, messy headed Andy looking at me.

“Oh, hey Alan.” He smiles.

Well I guess I’m not the only one who had a good night, then.

“Um, hey Andy.” I look at him weird.

“Hey, um,” He moves out of the way and I see Justin sitting in bed looking at the TV. “Jus, Alan’s here.”

Justin looks over at me and smiles. “Hey Alan!”

Andy grabs something off the floor and excuses himself to the bathroom.

I walk over to Justin’s bed. “I can sit here, right?” I point to a spot on the bed. “Like there was no fucking going on?”

Justin rolls his eyes. “We didn’t have sex, so you're safe.”

“Well what happened?” I ask.

Andy comes out of the bathroom. “Sorry,” His cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “um, Jus, I’m going to run across the street and get us some McDonald’s, okay?”

Justin nods. “That sounds good.”

“Do you want anything, Alan?” Andy asks looking at me.

I shake my head. “No thank you, Austin and I are going out later. Thanks though.”

He smiles. “No problem.” He then walks closer to Justin and leans down and kisses him. “Text me what you want?”

Justin smiles and nods. “Will do,”

“Awesome, bye Alan.” Andy disconnects Justin’s phone from its charger and tosses it at him and grabs a key from the dresser and exits the room.

“Well then,” I look at Justin who was blushing. “tell me about it.”

Justin smiles. “Well, when you left yesterday he gave me those flowers,” he points over to the carnations that were in Justin’s ice bucket. “and then he kissed me.”

“Was it a good kiss?”

Justin nods enthusiastically. “Yes, so good, and then we came over to yours and Austin’s room,”

“I don’t need to know the parts that I was there for.” I interject, now it was my turn to interrupt.

“Right, sorry, so you and the guys went back to your own room and Andy and I came over here and just talked for about twenty minutes,”

“Go on,”

“Then we started kissing and I mean there was no like lust behind it, we literally just cuddled and made out, it was so perfect Alan.” Justin smiles.

I felt myself smile, I was so happy for him. “That sounds nice.”

“It was.” Justin moves the blankets so his legs are out. “You had a pretty good night last night too, huh?”

“What?”

“We heard you and Austin fucking, Alan.” Justin rolls his eyes.

I felt my cheeks burning. “Oh, that’s embarrassing.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it.” Justin laughs. “How was it?”

“The sex?”

“Duh.”

“It was okay,”

“Just okay?”

“Well, I was on top…”

“You were the pitcher?”

“What? No,”

“Oh,”

“Yeah, I don’t do that.”

-=-

Andy came back about ten minutes later with their food so I decided to leave.

“Austin, let me in.” I sigh and hang on the door. I had forgotten to grab a key when Austin shooed me out.

Austin opens the door. “Hey, sorry.” He smiles.

“It’s okay,”

“You want to go grab lunch now?”

“Yeah, I’m kind of hungry.” I shrug.

“Do you need anything out of the room?”

I shake my head.

“Alright let’s go.” Austin grabs my hand and our fingers intertwine as we walk down the pathway to the stairs.

-=-

Austin and I had just ordered our food.

“So um, I have something planned for tonight actually, like we’re going somewhere nice.” Austin takes a drink of his coke. “I mean if you want to, I didn’t mean to sound so forward.”

“No, no, you’re good. That sounds nice actually. Where are we going?” I ask curiously.

“It’s a surprise, but I’m pretty sure you’ll like it.”

“Well, I guess that could be fun.”

-=-

Austin and I made a quick stop at the aquarium before heading back to the motel. It was interesting for about two seconds until the fish smell made me want to vomit. I’m all about sushi and stuff, but I think it was the fish poop and the volume of it.

“What time are we leaving?”

Austin looks over at me. “Um, here soon, maybe about half an hour? If that’s enough time.”

“Yeah, I’m just going to go get Justin really quick.”

Austin gets up rather quickly. “I’ll go get him, you stay here.”

“Um, okay.”

Let’s just act really weird then.

-=-

“What do I wear?” I ask Justin who was sitting on Austin and I’s bed, he had dramatically put a towel down near the edge so he wouldn’t sit on something we had sex on.

“That sweater I told you to bring and those jeans you’re wearing right now. Perfect.”

“Are you sure that’s going to be nice enough?”

“Um, yeah, trust me.”

I figured he couldn’t be wrong, so that’s what I would wear. “What are you and Andy doing tonight?” Austin was in Justin’s room with Andy getting ready.

“Um, not sure, honestly, I think Andy is getting us takeout and we’re just going to hang out in the room.”

“Why not go out?” I ask.

Justin looks away. “Um, well,” He was up to something and I didn’t like it. “Andy doesn’t have his car here so,”

I apply some more deodorant and slide my sweater on. “Right, so how are you getting takeout?”

“Um, delivery?”

Right, delivery.

_+_+_+_+_+_+

Austin came over about ten minutes after Justin had told me that he and Andy were getting delivery while Austin and I went somewhere. Hopefully that somewhere involved food because I was starving.

“Are you almost ready, Alan? I swear you’re worse than a girl.” Austin sighs and I hear him lay back on the bed dramatically. Well maybe if I hadn’t been rushed out of the room earlier, I’d be ready.

I looked the mirror and fixed my bangs quickly then walked to where the bed and Austin were. “Would you rather me look like a mess?” I ask as Austin sits up.

“You’d never look like a mess, Alan.” He sighs and stands up. I felt myself smile a little bit. “You ready? I’m hungry.”

I nod and Austin takes my hand and nearly drags me out of the door.

-=-

We arrive at a diner about five minutes later.

“I know this looks really sketchy, and honestly I’ve never been here, but this is only so we don’t die of starvation.” Austin insists as we in.

The walls were a dark, nasty looking brown color with a bunch of Northern memorabilia on the walls; jerseys, photos, hats, you name it, it was up there and hadn’t been cleaned in about ten years. The booths were paneled in dark wood with bright orange vinyl seating that was falling apart.

“How can I help you two?” An older lady with serious smoker’s voice asked us, her obviously bleached and over processed blonde hair was kind of just lying on her shoulders, just over her name tag that read MaryAnne in bright orange on the white plastic.

“Um, can we just get a table for two?” Austin asks.

“Of course sweet cheeks, follow me.” She leads us over to a booth in front of the window and sets our menus on the table. “What can I get you two to drink?”

“Um, mountain dew?” I ask looking at the drink options.

“Of course sugar,” She smiles and looks at Austin. “and you sweet cheeks?”

Austin looks confused. “Um, I’ll just have water.” He smiles.

MaryAnne smiles and walks back to the kitchen.

“I feel like I’m going to get salmonella,” I sigh and try not to touch anything, even touching the menu was distressing me.

Austin rolls his eyes. “You’ll be fine, sugar.” He laughs a bit and looks over his menu.

-=-

MaryAnne had brought our drinks and we had ordered food. Austin decided to take a risk and got a burger, I got cheese sticks because it seemed the safest.

“What are we doing today?” I ask him, hopefully he would tell me.

“Well, it’s a surprise,”

I sigh. “But sweet cheeks I want to know.”

Austin looks at me. “Now you’re definitely not finding out until we get there.”

“Now that’s just mean.”

“You’re the one who called me sweet cheeks.” He smirks.

“Well our waitress called you that.”

“She’s in charge of feeding me, she can call me whatever she wants.”

-=-

“Okay,” Austin sighs and parks at a shady looking warehouse. “we’re here.”

“Um, are you sure?” I ask taking my seatbelt off and leaning closer to the dashboard so I could see the building.

“Yes,” He looks at me. “Now get out.”

-=-

Austin grabs my hand and leads me into the warehouse, honestly, I was a bit terrified. I trusted Austin, but there’s something scary about someone leading you into a warehouse looking building.

“It’s a family fun zone.” He smiles as we reach the door.

I read the sign which reads Cory the Clown’s Family Fun Zone in bright primary colors and a picture of a pedophile looking clown on the sign.

“Sorry if this super cheesy.” Austin laughs and opens the door for me. I walk in and see lots of bright lights and colors. Kids were running around screaming most of their parents looked bored as hell.

“No, this looks like fun.”

“Good, I was kind of worried that you wouldn’t like it.” He blushes a little and drags me over to the counter, where he requests two game cards with twenty dollars worth of tokens on each one.

“You can have the orange one; it goes with your hair.” Austin laughs handing me an orange credit card looking thing with that creepy ass clown on it.

“What color is yours, sweet cheeks?” I ask, if he was going to make fun of my hair, I was going to call him that.

“Purple,” He shows it to me. “it’d clash with your hair.”

I roll my eyes. “Let’s go play games so I can beat your ass.”

Austin smiles. “Yeah, doubt it.”

“Let’s play,” I look at the room full of games. “that horse game.” I point at the huge wall covered with little horses that move when you roll balls into certain slots.

“You ready to lose?” He asks as we walk over and slide our cards at our selected horses.

I roll my eyes. “Let’s not get cocky.”

Five white balls come rolling out for each of us and start rolling them into the slots. Okay, so I sucked, really bad. The balls would only go into the walk slot, while Austin’s would of course go into whatever the word for a horse running was.

“Told you.” Austin laughs as the machine spits out his tickets.

I rolled my eyes. “Clear champion of horse games over here.” I mumble sarcastically.

“What game are you good at?” He asks.

“Um,” I sigh. “I don’t know,”

“What about basketball?”

“Oh shut up, Austin. You’re obviously going to be better at it, you’re tall.”

Austin laughs. “Height and talent have nothing to do with each other.”

“You have an unfair advantage.”

-=-

Austin pretty much won every game we played, well except the one where you have press the button when you get to the number of tickets you want. I was pretty good at that one.

We had decided that with the tickets we got, we would each other a prize. Which I protested against because I had like four tickets and Austin had a ton, but he insisted on it.

Austin had told me that he would go walk around while I picked his prize out, then I would go outside while he got mine, so they’d be a surprise.

The less than enthused teenager at the counter takes my tickets and runs them through a machine.

“You have 342, that means anything from this row down.” He sighs and points at the smaller stuffed animals.

I think a minute before seeing a tiny orange wiener dog; I think Austin had mentioned something about thinking they were cute. “Um, can I have that orange dog?” I ask.

He pulls it off the thing and hands it to me. “You have forty two tickets left.”

I decided to load up on candy, getting several types. The guy puts the candy in a bag and hands it back to me.

Hey, it’s your turn. I send to Austin and then walk outside.

-=-

Fifteen minutes later Austin comes out with a similar bag, except a little larger.

“How many tickets did you have?” He questions.

“Like a million.”

“Yeah, okay,” He rolls his eyes then extends the bag out to me, which I take then hand him mine.

“Open yours first.” I smile.

He looks in the bag and pulls out the dog, a smile on his face. “Alan, this is adorable.” He laughs and pets it a little. “It looks like you.”

“Because of my hair?” I sigh. I didn’t even think about that.

“No, because it’s cute.” He blushes a little. “Okay, open yours.”

I feel my own cheeks get a little warm and open the bag to find a yellow cat. If my smile could’ve gotten wider, it would have.

“I got it because it kind of looks like Mittens.” He smiles.

“It’s perfect, thank you Austin.” I step closer and hug him, I feel Austin's bag of candy hit me a little as Austin wraps his arms around me.

-=-

Austin drove around a little after we got done at the family fun center.

“I was thinking that was going to take longer, honestly.” He sighs.

“Really?” I ask and pet my cat, who I decided to name Sittins since it was in an awkward sitting position.

“Yeah, we have reservations for six, it’s only five.” He stops at the stop light.

“At least that’s only an hour.”

“Yeah, but what are we going to do until then?”

“Um, I don’t know.”

-=-

The hour actually went by pretty quickly, but when you’re making out in the back of a car, that usually seems to happen.

“Come on,” Austin says straightening his shirt.

I sigh and get out of the car. I could tell we were at a Japanese place, but I didn’t know the name of it. Austin grabs my hand with his left and locks his car with his right, then shoves his keys into his pocket.

-=-

“Reservations are for Carlile.” Austin says to the person at the podium. She didn’t look Japanese.

The girl runs her finger down the list. “Party of two?” She asks as he blond hair moves around.

He nods. “Yeah,”

“If you’ll just follow me,” She smiles as Austin grabs my hand and leads me behind her to the dining room.

“Here you are.” I slide in the booth across from Austin and she hands each of us a menu. “Your server, Mike will be right out.” She smiles and then heads back to her podium.

“You like sushi, right?” He asks. “I guess I should’ve asked that before.”

“Oh yeah, I love it.”

He sighs in relief. “Good, I just assume that everyone likes seafood as much as I do.” He laughs.

-=-

Austin and I ordered the variety couples platter. There’s nothing more romantic than sharing raw fish with a cute boy, that’s what I always say anyway.

“Are you really using your fingers right now?” I ask as Austin grabs a piece of sushi.

“What am I supposed to use? A fork?”

“Um chopsticks, hello.” I sigh and hold mine so he could see them.

“I don’t know how to use them.” He smiles a bit.

“I’ll teach you.”

-=-

After explaining how to hold the chopsticks about seven times, Austin still didn’t get it, so he stabbed the sushi he could and the rest he somehow slid onto the two chopsticks and ate it that way. I tried.

We got back to the motel twenty minutes later.

“Wait here, okay?” He leans over and quickly kisses me.

“For how long, Austin? It’s cold.”

“Not too long, just trust me, okay.” He closes the door and makes his way to the stairs.

I watch him walk over to our room; he looks in the window, decides it looks good and then walks over to Justin’s room and knocks. A few seconds later someone answers the door, he hands then something then talks for a few seconds, then the door closes and he starts making his way down to the car.

-=-

“Okay, this is going to sound weird.” Austin says as we stand on the walkway. “But I need to cover your eyes.”

I looked up at him. “Are you crazy? Why?”

Austin smiles. “Just, trust me, Alan.”

“Austin, you’ve been acting so weird lately, I don’t know if I should.” I sigh.

He leans down and kisses me softly. “Please, Alan.”

“I swear if there’s something gross in our room like a dead body or something I am out.” I turn around and let him place his warm hands over my eyes.

“Okay,” Austin gets closer to me, obviously ignoring my comment. “little steps, we’re almost there.”

“If I fall, Austin, I swear,” I sigh.

“I won’t let you,” He whispers.

We move forward until we get to what I’m assuming is our room, because Austin stops.

“Okay, promise me you won’t peek while I open the door?” He asks.

I sighed. “I promise.”

Austin’s hands come off my face and I hear the lock click, then one of Austin’s hand is covering both of my eyes.

“Closer,” He uses his other hand to grab mine and leads me to where he is. I could smell Austin and vanilla, that didn’t smell like Austin.

He places me next to the table and chairs, I only know this because I felt my foot hit one of the chairs.

The door closes and Austin moves me again, this time in front of him.

“Okay, open your eyes.”

I nervously open one eye, then the other. There was some flower petals sprinkled on the floor, the ones on the bed were shaped into a heart. The lamps that were on had pieces of cloth on them which muted the intensity. Candles were lit on the bed side tables and on both of the counters in the room. The one that held the TV and the one that had the sink. That must be where the vanilla scent was coming from.

“Austin,” I smile. This was so cheesy and ridiculous, but I loved it. It was honestly the nicest and the most romantic thing anyone has done for me.

“Is it too much?” He asks.

“Yeah, but it’s perfect.” I turn around and hug him.

-=-

Austin and I were lying in our post-sex state. Sweat making our hair stick to our foreheads. Austin was still on top of me, placing kisses all over my torso.

“Austin,”

“Hm?” He moves and nuzzles into my neck.

“How long have you had this planned?”

I feel him smirk. “Couple of days.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” He leans over me, arms on either side of my shoulders, supporting him. “wanted to surprise you.” He smiles and kisses me. “Did I?”

I let my eyes close. “Yeah, I was just confused because you were acting shady.”

He laughs a little. “Was I?”

I nod and open my eyes. “You gonna stop?”

A smile spreads across his face. “Probably not.” He smirks and kisses me again.

I lean up and kiss him, cupping his face with my hands. I feel Austin smile and lays me back down. I deepen the kiss by running my tongue across his bottom lip. Austin opens his mouth and our tongues move together. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me. Austin moans a little bit grinds down on my hips.

“Alan,” He mumbles as he disconnects our lips. He pushes my hair away with his right hand and looks at me. Really? This was when you were going to be all romantic?

“What?” I ask quietly and move my hands down his chest.

“I want you to be mine.”

Wait what?

“What?” I ask again.

“Like you and me, we only do this with each other.” He bites his lip.

I was shocked, of all times to ask, this was when he decided to do it?

“Like your, um, boyfriend?” I ask carefully, hoping not to offend him by calling it that since he didn’t use the word.

He smiles. “Yeah, basically.”

I lean up and kiss him. “Yes,” I mumble against his lips.


	26. twenty six

_I have a boyfriend now!!!! :D_ I send to Justin. Austin was in the bathroom doing something.

“Alan, you might want to come in here,” I hear Austin’s voice from the bed. I set my phone down and walk toward the bathroom. “What?” I ask as I open the door. I could hear water running.

I open the door to see the shower curtain closed, I could see Austin’s silhouette slightly through the thing curtain.

“Might as well save water, huh?” He asks through the curtain. “Come on, I’m not sleeping with you all sticky and gross.”

I pull the curtain back a little and climb in. Austin was facing the spray so I wrapped my arms around him and cuddled into his back, placing tiny kisses all over. Austin sighs and I release my grip a little so he can turn and face me, wrapping his arms around me as well.

-=-

“How many times did you guys have sex last night?” Justin asks I take a drink of my orange juice.

Andy had gone to get coffee and Austin was still ordering.

“Uh, a lot.” I smile a little. “Like at least four times.”

Justin laughs a little. “Yeah, we heard.”

“Sorry about that, maybe next time you shouldn’t get a room right next to ours?” I question.

“Well, we had to so Andy and I could set up the romance.”

“You two did that?” I ask, honestly it made sense, I just didn’t think about it.

“Um, yeah.”

“Aw, thank you Justin.”

“Well, don’t thank me. Austin practically begged.”

“So you knew about it the whole time? Since when?”

Justin sighs. “Well he called during Christmas break, like towards the end and that was to ask me if he could pick you up at the airport.”

“That’s not what I asked, but okay.”

“I was getting there, asshole.” Justin takes a drink of his coffee. “So a week into classes, he comes to my room and is like ‘I need your help’ so I was like ‘what?’ and he was like ‘well I want to do something special for Alan, how does he like romantic things? Like is he into that?’ and I was like ‘well I’m not exactly sure, but I know he likes you so I don’t think you have to worry about it honestly.’ So I guess he came up this idea like a week and half later because he came and begged me to set up the room while you two did whatever you did.” Justin shrugs.

That was actually really adorable.

“What are you two talking about?” Austin asks as he sets his own juice container on the table. Andy slides into the booth next to Justin.

“Nothing.” I smile.

“I doubt that, but okay.” Austin says and takes a bite of his toast.

-=-

Andy and Austin had gone to the BP next to the McDonald’s across the street to get some snacks for whatever reason.

“I want to do something nice for Austin.”

Justin looks over at me. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, what do you think he’d like.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“But you’re better at this stuff than I am.”

“Well that’s true.” Justin smiles. “What do you think you want to do? Something sexy?”

I cringe at the word ‘sexy.’ “Maybe, I don’t know.”

“Just get naked and wait in bed for him. That’s nice.”

I roll my eyes. “Let’s put some thought into it?”

“What if you gave him a massage?”

A massage? Really? That’s supposed to be sexy? “How is that sexy?”

“You wear pretty much nothing, he wears pretty much nothing, you’re touching him, he gets a boner, and then he puts that boner in your ass. Sexy.”

“Wow, Justin thanks for totally ruining sex for me.”

“Oh shut up,” Justin sighs and throws a pillow at me. “I saw a sex store coming up here, we could borrow Andy’s car and go later.”

“You told me Andy didn’t have his car here.”

Justin smiles. “I lied.”

-=-

“Where are you two going?” Andy laughs leaning against the wall, Justin had just asked him to borrow his car.

“Um, well, we were just going to run somewhere really quick.”

“Oh, where?” He asks.

Justin sighs. “Just drive around, I’ll put gas in it, please?” He sticks his bottom lip out and wraps his arms around Andy’s neck.

Andy sighs and grabs his keys off the counter that holds the TV and holds them up in front of Justin. “If you crash my car, I swear, Justin.”

“Is that all the trust you have in me?” Justin mumbles sarcastically and leans up and kisses him, which leads to Andy dropping the keys on the floor and pulling Justin closer to him. I looked over at Austin who was equally disturbed and interested judging by the look on his face.

-=-

“So that was awkward.” I climb into the passenger side and Justin moves the driver’s seat.

“What?”

“You and Andy making out.”

Justin smiles. “Well, I did what I had to.”

“You could’ve just taken the keys.”

“That wouldn’t have been as much fun.”

-=-

“So how many times do you think we’re going to get asked if we’re a couple?” I ask Justin as he parks in the parking lot.

“At least twice.”

Justin and I got out of the car and into the building, passing a rainbow flag as went. Well, at least we wouldn’t be looked at weird.

“Where to start?” Justin asks himself, looking around. Honestly, I was a little uncomfortable. It was all of the sex toys, whips, blow up things, sexy outfits, and whatnot. It was being here with my best friend who was probably going to buy something weird for him and Andy.

“I’ve never been to one of these before, so I don’t know.” I sigh.

Justin turns to look at me. “You should get something to make Austin happy.” He smirks.

I roll my eyes. “Like what?”

“Hm, how kinky do you want to get?”

“Um, not at all.”

Justin sighs. “Really, Alan?”

“I mean, I don’t even know if Austin’s into that. Maybe we could start out with something small.”

Justin’s eyes light up. “Let’s get you some sexy underwear.”

“Do they make that for guys?”

“Yeah, obviously.”

-=-

“Try these on.” Austin extends a pair of black boxer brief looking things.

“These look like regular underwear.”

“They are, they’re just super tight.”

“And super overpriced.”

Justin looks at me. “I’m trying to make your sex life exciting.”

“It already is though.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “Have only had sex in a bed?”

I nod.

“Then you need that underwear, shoo!”

I sigh and walk into the changing room, which had some weird pornographic images hanging up on the wall. I strip and quickly slide the underwear on.

“I think these might be too tight.” I tell Justin when I move the curtain.

“Turn around.”

I sigh and turn around so my ass is facing him.

“You have some junk back here.” Justin slaps my ass. “You need like four hundred of these.”

I sigh. “So they look okay then?”

“Yes, good lord, you could twerk in those.”

“Yeah, no twerking is going to happen.”

-=-

“So what other color should I get?” I ask Justin.

If I looked as good as he swears I did, I guess I could try it.

“You said he liked you in dark gray, right?”

“Yeah,”

“Then there you go.”

“But don’t you think that’s kind of boring? Black and dark gray?”

“Then get the teal pair. It’ll go with your hair.”

Wow can I have one day without someone mentioning my hair?

“Can I help you two?” A guy who couldn’t be much older than Austin asks us.

“Um, yeah, actually.” Justin smiles. “My boyfriend is really romantic and he surprised me with this nice hotel room, you know, rose petals, candles, the whole nine yards. So I wanted to do something nice for him, do you have any suggestions?” He asks, obviously he knew I wouldn’t ask.

The guy smiles a little. “Yeah, I mean is he into toys or whips?”

Justin shakes his head. “I’m not sure, I kind of wanted to go slow, you know, build it up.”

Our little helper smiles again and nods. “What about a massage?”

Justin looks over at me, pretty much sending me the ‘I told you so’ look. “That’s what my friend suggested, but I didn’t believe him.”

“Well, honestly, you can’t go wrong with a sexy massage.”

“Um, quick question,” I interject. “How exactly is a massage sexy?”

“I guess it’s more sensual than anything.” The guy responds.

“Got you.” I mumble.

“I can show you our variety of massage oils, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, that sounds great.” Justin smiles.

-=-

“So you got the most boring flavor?” Justin sighs as we walk out of the shop.

“I’m not going to eat it, Justin.” I sigh and wait for him to unlock the car.

“I know that, Alan, but come on.”

“He obviously likes the smell of vanilla, so that’s what I went with.”

“Yeah, okay.” Justin sighs and climbs into the driver’s seat.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket.

meet andy and I at the applebee’s down the street from the motel xx a

“Austin said that we need to meet him and Andy at Applebee’s.”

“Where is that?”

-=-

Justin and I eventually found the Applebee’s. It just took us twenty minutes longer than it needed to.

“Wow, it’s about time.” Austin comments as he slides out of the booth.

“Don’t blame me, I wasn’t driving.” I sigh as Austin leans down and kisses me quickly before playfully pushing me towards the booth so he could sit back down.

“Look, you didn’t specify which direction I was supposed to go.” Justin says in defense and sits down next to Andy. “Therefore, not my fault.”

“Where did you go anyway?” Austin asks taking a drink of his beer.

Justin giggles a little.

“You’ll find out later.”

“I’m sure we will too, then.” Andy sighs and moves his straw around in his cup.

_+_+_+

“I need you to go stay in here.” I tell Austin as I try to push him towards the bathroom.

“What? Why?” He questions as he stops moving with me, instead turning to look at me.

“Because, just do it, for me?” I ask pouting a little.

He sighs. “For how long?”

“Until I say so.”

Austin looks a little shocked, but sighs in defeat. “Just don’t let me die in here.” He sighs and walks into the bathroom and closes the door.

“Oh, by the way, I’m going to need you to take your clothes off.” I say through the door.

“Excuse me?”

“Take your clothes off.”

“All of them?”

“Leave your underwear.”

This was awkward.

I hear him sigh. “This better be good, Alan, because this is demeaning.”

“Shut up and do it.” I demand. I didn’t have time for this, I was nervous enough for this stupid romance thing I thought would be a good idea.

“Oh, fuck, Alan, don’t talk like that, it gets me happy.”

“Well, have fun with that, I’m walking away from the door now.” I sigh and go over to the pile where we put all of the things Justin and Andy had set up last night. I grabbed the candle and lighter off the table and looked around. I didn’t know where to put them. I didn’t want my set up to look exactly like Justin’s.

I set two of the candles on the counter that held the TV, and then lit them, nearly burning my finger in the process.

There were two candles left. I could put one on the bedside table, but that just sounded like a fire hazard, I guess one could go in by sink. I walked over and set it in the corner, away from the towels.

“Alan?” I hear Austin ask.

“What?”

“Are you almost done?”

“No,” I light the candle and walk back into the main part of the room with the last candle. I set it in between the other two and light it. Well this looked like shit so far. I grab the cheap, black sheet I got at Walmart to put on the bed so the oil wouldn’t get all over the place and we’d have to pay for it. I lay it on the bed and smooth it out the best I could so at least something wouldn’t look terrible.

What was next? The fabric that goes on the lights, but I wanted to do that last so things wouldn’t catch on fire.

Yes, the underwear. I grabbed the bag from under my clothes where I had hid it from Austin because I didn’t want eight hundred questions and take out the teal pair and throw the oil on the bed, then shove the other pair in my bag. I strip quickly, shoving the previously worn clothes on top of my suitcase, then kicking it further down the bed out of the way. I pick up the massage oil and set it on the bedside table.

“Alan! Can I come out now? I farted and I’m about to die.” Austin whines as I get closer to the bathroom.

“Gross, why would I want you to come out here, then?” I question as I turn off all the lights except the ones with the fabric over them. The room had a pinkish glow towards the bed and faded to a soft black towards the TV and the bathroom.

Music, that’s what I needed.

“I’m about to pass out.”

“Can I borrow your phone?” I knew Austin had calming music on there; he listened to it when he was doing his homework.

“Um, for what?”

“Just please? I’ll let you out.”

He sighs. “Yeah, just please hurry or turn the fan on, good god I can’t believe this came out of my ass.”

Wow, he’s a real mood killer. I flip the switch for the fan and go over to where his phone was sitting on the table.

“What’s your passcode?” I ask as I walk back over.

“3825.”

“Thank you.” I respond type the numbers.

“Can I come out now?” He asks as I click ‘music’ and scroll through before finding the relaxing song, which thankfully was actually called that in his songs.

I turn the volume to where it would just be background noise and walk over to the bathroom door.

“Are you in just your underwear?”

“Yes, master.” He sighs.

I open the door and smell Austin’s fart and nearly die. “Close the fucking door, Austin, Jesus.” I grab him and pull him out of the bathroom and he closes the door.

“Thank you.”

“Why would you fart knowing you’d be in a small space?” I ask.

“It just happened; I think I ate something weird at Applebee’s.”

If he ruins this I swear.

“What’s going on? Why is so dark?” He asks look at me. “And why are you wearing sexy underwear?” He smiles.

I grab his hand. “Follow me,” I turn around and lead him over to the bed.

“Should I be scared?” He laughs.

“Okay get on the bed and lie on your stomach.”

“Are you going to spank me?” He asks as he climbs onto the bed and grabs a pillow to lie on.

“Um, no.”

“Can you?”

“Aus, don’t be weird.”

“What are you going to do then? I feel like I’m in Abercrombie, there’s an overwhelming smell and I can’t see.”

“Do you not like it?”

“No, I love it, I’m just scared.”

I climb onto the bed and sit on his lower back. “You’re going to be okay,” I mumble and press a tiny kiss to the back of his neck and grab the massage oil.

“What’s that?” He asks.

“Stop asking so many questions.” I sigh and pop the top and squirt some on my hand. The bottle says that if you like lather it or something it will get warmer. I hope so because this shit is fucking cold. I set the bottle down next to my leg and rub my hands together. The stuff did get a little warmer, but not a lot warmer.

I reached out to Austin’s shoulders and gripped them.

“Oh,” Austin sighs as I start to work the oil into his shoulders.

“Does this feel okay?” I ask quietly moving downward to his shoulder blades, kneading gently.

“Mm, yeah.” Austin mumbles.

-=-

I was on Austin’s legs now, and honestly, I think Austin was asleep, or close to be asleep because he was eerily quiet.

Then it happened. The beginning to Drake’s Show Me A Good Time came on, totally ruining the relaxing mood I worked so hard to set up.

“What?” Austin mumbles as I jump off the bed and trip over my backpack because I had forgotten that I had moved it. I pushed myself away from the set of drawers that were under the counter and felt my head.

“Alan? Are you okay?” Austin asks getting up and getting off the bed.

“No, I hit my head.” I sigh and lean against the bed and kick my bag away.

Austin laughs a little and gets on the floor next to me. “You’re not bleeding are you?” He grabs his phone and uses the screen to look at my head.

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you okay? How many fingers am I holding up?” He asks as he sits in front of me and holds up what looks like three fingers.

“Three, Austin.”

“I’m going to get a flashlight and check your eyes, you might have a concussion.”

“What? You were holding up three fingers.”

“No, I was holding up four.” He sighs and gets up and walks over to grab his keys which had this little Central flashlight on it.

He crouches down in front of me.

“Austin, I’m fine, test me again.”

He holds up two fingers. “How many?”

“Two.”

“What’s your middle name?”

“Anthony.”

“Who am I?”

“Justin.” I mumble sarcastically.

Austin looks concerned.

“I was kidding, you’re Austin Robert Carlile.”

He sighs and cups my face. “You sure you’re okay?” He asks. “Andy knows where the emergency clinic is.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Okay, but you need to tell me if you feel like you’re getting a headache, okay? Promise me, Alan.”  
I roll my eyes. “I promise.”

Austin holds his pinky up. “If you break a pinky promise eight hundred cats die.” He says as seriously as he can.

“Why would you say something like that?” I ask.

“To make you promise.”

I hold up my pinky to him and he locks his around mine.

“I promise.”

Austin leans in and kisses me, then stands up and extends his hand to me to help me up.

I sigh as Austin takes the sheet off the bed and sets it on the table, then goes and blows out the candles.

“I’m sorry I messed this up.” I sigh and pull the covers over me.

Austin pulls the fabric off the lamps. “No, it was awesome.” He tosses the fabric over on top of the sheet and climbs into the bed next to me. “Well, until you fell.”

“Yeah, I should’ve looped the music, but I forgot.”

“It's fine, up until then though, it was perfect.” Austin kisses me again. “I loved it.”

“Well, maybe we could try it again sometime?” I suggest.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” He smiles.


	27. twenty seven

“Wake up, Alan. Check out is in an hour.” Austin sighs and moves the bed a little.

“But I don’t want to leave.” I sigh and bury my head in my pillow.

“I know, but I don’t want to pay extra because you’re lazy. Get up.”

“You’re mean,” I sigh and sit up. I looked at him; he was walking around shirtless and just looking so sexy.

Austin stops and looks at me. “That’s why I’m taking you out to lunch, now get up.” He sighs and walks into the bathroom.

I was kind of hungry.

-=-

Justin and Andy were walking behind us slowly, I bet they were bummed that Justin had to leave today.

“Is Justin going to be okay?” Austin asks as he opens the door to Red Lobster.

“I don’t know, maybe, I’ve never seen him like this.” I walk through the door and watch as Austin waits  
for Andy and Justin to catch up.

“Austin, I think we’re going to get our own table, is that okay?” Andy asks as they approach the door.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Austin smiles as he ruffles Andy’s hair a little, earning him a dirty look.

-=-

“You want to get appetizers?” Austin asks from his place across from me, looking the menu.

“If you want.”

“What about the seaside sampler?” Austin asks.

“That sounds fine.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m embarrassed about last night.”

Our waiter comes over and looks at us. “Hello, my name is Garth, what can I get you two to drink?” He smiles.

“Um, I’ll have coke.”

“I’ll have the same and can we get a seaside sampler?” Austin asks.

“Of course, I’ll get that right out to you.” He writes something down on his notebook then walks away.

“Alan, it’s fine,” Austin takes my hand. “It’s not like you purposely meant to fall, okay? I really loved it.” He lifts my hand to mouth and presses a small kiss over my knuckles then sets my hand on the table. “Besides, it gives us an excuse to get another hotel room some other time.” He laughs.

“Can it please not be a motel 6?”

“Anything you want.” Austin smiles.

Our waiter comes back with our drinks, setting them down on napkins and setting straws in front of us.

“Your seaside sampler will be out in a just a moment, but if you’re ready I can take your lunch orders now.”

I pick up my straw and bang it against the table a couple of times trying to get the paper off it a little. Austin looks over at me and arches his eyebrow slightly. “Um, I’ll have the Admiral’s feast with asparagus and mashed potatoes.”

Garth then looks at me as I pull the paper off my straw and shove it in my glass. “Um,” I sigh.

Honestly, I hadn’t looked over the menu much. “I’ll have the sailor’s platter.”

Austin tries not to laugh.

“With mashed potatoes.” I add, not wanting Garth to get saucy with me.

“Alright I’ll go put these in.” He smiles and then takes our menus.

“Why do you think me getting a sailor’s platter is funny.”

“Seamen.”

“Are we like four?”

Austin rips a small part off his straw then pulls the rest down about an inch, then puts the exposed end to his lips and blows the wrapper at me.

“You’re an ass.” I sigh and pull the wrapper out of my hair.

“You practically asked for it.”

“How?”

“By being obnoxious when you were opening your straw.”

“And here is our seaside sampler.” Garth announces as he sets a plate in between us. “Can I get you anything else?”

Yeah, you could go away and let me enjoy lunch with my boyfriend.

“No, we’re good, thanks though.” Austin smiles and Garth walks away.

-=-

“What do you think Justin and Andy are doing right now?” Austin asks after we get our food.

“Crying probably.” I take a bite of one of my shrimp and look at Austin.

“I feel kind of bad, you know? Because I introduced them and now they have to leave each other.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re acting like Andy lives in India or something.”

“Well he might as well,” Austin sighs.

“Let’s not be dramatic.”

“Well, I missed you a lot when you were gone.” He mumbles quietly. “Like a lot.”

-=-

“Will you text Justin and see if they’re ready?” Austin asks as we wait for Garth to bring Austin’s credit card back.

“Yeah.”

Hey Austin wants to know if you two are done eating/eye fucking

yeah :/

“They’re done.” I say as Garth comes up and hands Austin the black thing that holds the receipt.

“Thanks; come eat with us again.” He smiles and then walks away.

Austin opens the folder and laughs a little. “I just got a phone number.” He smiles and holds up the receipt.

“I’m going to beat him up.”

Austin writes in the tip and scribbles, ’sorry I have a boyfriend’ and then slides out of the booth.

“Come on we’re not going to sit here and wait for him to come back.” Austin sighs as I get out of the booth.

I grab his hand and we walk over to Andy and Justin’s table.

-=-

Austin had just pulled away from Red Lobster, leaving Andy standing there awkwardly as Justin tried to not look back.

I looked over at Austin who shrugged softly.

“You okay, Jus?” I ask quietly as I turn back a little.

He shakes his head. “I miss him.”

“Want me to come back there and cuddle you?”

Justin nods slowly. I take my seatbelt off and climb on the seat.

“Alan! What the fuck? Sit down!”

“Sorry Aus.” I climb into the back and sat next to Justin.

“Put your seatbelt on, now.” Austin commands looking at me in the rearview.

I roll my eyes and put my seatbelt on, if he would’ve given me a couple of seconds, I would’ve put it on.

“Come here.” I pull Justin closer to me and stroke his hair.

-=-

“You want me to come to your room?” I ask Justin as we get our bags out of Austin’s car.

He rubs his eyes and shakes his head. “I’m probably going to call Andy.”

“I figured, text me though, okay?”

He nods. “Of course.” He grabs his suitcase off the ground. “I’m going to head on up, Andy has a test tomorrow so I want to catch him before he goes to sleep.”

I nod and Justin makes his way to the door.

“He’s got it bad.” Austin laughs.

“It’s your fault.”

“I am merely a match-maker, I don’t decide how hard they fall.” Austin smiles then closes the trunk.

I roll my eyes. “You’re so strange.”

“Actually, I’m pretty cold right now, so can we get moving inside?” He asks nudging me.

-=-

I was leaning against the wall in front of my door. Austin was standing in front of me.

“What are you going to do? It’s only seven.” I ask fixing Austin’s shirt hem with my left hand.

“Probably go talk to Phil, see if anything happened while I was gone.” He grabs my hand and laces our fingers together.

“Wouldn’t he just call you?” I know we just spent a long weekend together, but I was selfish and wanted to spend time with my boyfriend.

“Maybe, but not for something stupid, I like to know everything.” He smiles. “But I’ll come by later and say goodnight, okay?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Don’t sound so sad.” He laughs as he lets go of my hand and leans in and kisses me, moving said hand behind my head to deepen the kiss. He pulls away for a few seconds then places another kiss on my lips.

“You sure you don’t want to come in?” I ask hopefully.

“I’d love to, but I can’t.” He sighs.

“But you promise you’ll come by later?”

“Yes, Alan,” He teases.

-=-

“How was your weekend?” Vince asks as I set my bags on the ground.

“Amazing,” I smile and kick my bag over to my desk. “How was yours?”

“Good,”

“What did you do?”

“Shawna and I went to Columbus for this robot convention.” He smiles.

“A robot convention?” Wow, he just really out-nerded himself, didn’t he?

“Yeah, it was awesome, there was robot battles and everything!”

“Awesome.” I dump the contents of my suitcase into my laundry basket.

“Where did you go?”

“Up to Cleveland so Justin could meet Andy.”

“Oh, isn’t that where Austin went?”

“Yeah, he went with us.”

“Are you two dating?”

"Austin and I?"

"Yeah, obviously."

I wasn’t exactly sure if Vince was allowed to know, but who would he tell? “Yeah,”

“Oh, that’s cool. Kind of weird, but cool.”

-=-

_I’m so bored, Alan. Andy went to study and now I want to die._

_and the Oscar for most dramatic person at Central goes to…._

_thank you, thank you. –bows- I would like to thank my best friend Alan for inspiring my craft and always teaching me to add drama to everything._

_you’re so stupid. Anyway, what am I supposed to do about your boredom?_

_come over! We can gossip like teenage girls _

_Austin just texted me, he’s going to be over here pretty soon to tell me goodnight :/ maybe after?_

_jealous ): but okay <3 _

I look up when I hear a knock on the door, Vince looks over at me. “I’ll get it Vince, keep killing zombies.” I mumble as I jump down on the dresser and make my way to the door.

“Hey,” I smile as I open to door to see Austin standing there.

“Oh fucking come on!” I hear Vince yell. “I fucking had him!”

I close the door. “Sorry, he’s playing some weird game.”

“It’s okay; I’m not here to see him.”

“Good,”

“Mm, so what did you do while I was gone?”

“Watched Vince kill zombies.”

“Your life is so eventful, Alan.”

“Yeah, well, my super cute boyfriend was hanging out with his friends.”

“Yeah, I guess that is my fault, huh?” He smirks and pulls my hips closer his own.

I nod. “You should make it up to me.” I look up at him and bite my lip.

“Should I?” He asks.

“Mhm,”

“And what exactly should I do?”

“You could let me sleep in your room tonight.”

Austin pouts a little. “I wish I could, Alan, but Tino and Pen had a fight over the weekend so he’s going to be in room, and that’d be a little awkward.”

I sigh. Of all times for them to get into a fight, they pick now. “You could stay here.”

“Vince is killing zombies though.” Austin points out.

“He owes me a favor.”

Austin smiles. “I’m flattered, but roommate favors are hard to come by, save it for something good, okay?” He leans down and kisses me. “Maybe tomorrow?” He mumbles against my lips and then kisses me again.

I reach up and let my hand make its way to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me, running my tongue across his bottom lip.

Austin pulls back as far as he can.

“Not right now, okay? Nowhere to go.”

I quickly try to think of where we could carry on our little make out session. “Your car?”

Austin laughs. “It’s thirty nine degrees out.”

I slide my hand down his shirt; the design was starting to fade. “Don’t be a baby.”

“Gladly admitting my baby status.” He smiles.

I roll my eyes. I just wanted to cuddle with him, I’m sure we could figure out something to keep us warm. “Fine, go be lame in your room, then.”

“I will, because it’s past my bedtime so I will see you tomorrow.” He smiles and leans in and kisses me softly.

“It’s like ten.”

“Yeah, I know, I have to catch up on my sleep since someone kept me up all weekend.”

I roll my eyes.

“Anyway, goodnight, Alan.” He smiles and kisses my forehead.

“Night Aus.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow and if you absolutely need me, you know where I am.”

-=-=-=-=-=-

I hate Anthropology. I hate it more than anything else; my fucking tutor was in class today, guest speaking. So of course, he kept looking right at me and asking me if I knew the answer, knowing that I didn’t. We were talking about metaphors, which didn’t make any sense because I’m fairly certain that metaphors are covered in English, not anthropology.

I looked down when my phone lit up with a text from Austin.

_you get out of class soon right?_

I sighed. _half an hour still. Why?_

I looked when I heard the squeak of an expo marker on the dry-erase board.

Animal world extended to the human world.

“Now, if I were to say that Jacob is a wolf,” The class laughs a bit as Bran clicks a button on his laptop to show that Taylor guy from that Twilight movie next to his blue ink. “what are some words you would think of?”

He calls on some people by name, some girl named Sarah who answered with ‘cute’, some guy in the back who responded with ‘strong.’

“What about you, Alan? What would say would be a characteristic of a wolf that could be extended to a person?” Bran rolls up his sweater sleeves, adjusts his glasses, and looks at me, waiting for my answer.

I sighed. “Aggressive, maybe?”

“There is no maybe, Alan, is he aggressive or not?” He asks.

I was seriously about to just walk out of this classroom right now. Some of the people in the class looked at me, waiting for my answer. “He is.”

“Alright, that’s a good one, aggressive.” He adds it to the list next to Jacob

_I wanted to grab lunch, is that okay?_

_yeah I’ll meet you at the caf when I get out of hell_

_d r a m a t i c_

-=-

Austin had texted me and informed that he would meet me outside of the commons so he wouldn’t have to sit alone and wait for me. So nice of him.

I shoved my hands deeper in my hoodie pocket, suddenly grateful my mom bought this for me. Austin was taking forever, I know his class is over across campus, but damn.

With a sigh I pull my phone out of my pocket and look at the time, he was like six minutes late. I was so pissed. First I have to deal with Bran and now Austin was being inconsiderate and late.

 _where are you, you dick?_ I quickly text him. I was so cold.

I felt two hands grab my sides. I felt myself gasp and I turned to see Austin’s smiling face.

“Did I scare you?” He asks while laughing.

“You’re such a dick.” I sigh; trying to calm myself down, my heartbeat was elevated. “I thought I was getting kidnapped!” I exclaim and push him.

Austin laughs a little more. “I’m sorry; I didn’t think you’d react that badly.”

I roll my eyes. “You know I get scared easily.”

“Will a kiss make it better?”

“I’m not five and I didn’t stub my toe, so probably not.”

“Can I kiss you anyway?” He asks.

I roll my eyes. “If it’ll make you feel better about almost killing me, then I guess.”

Austin leans in and gives me a soft kiss on my lips. “I’m sorry, Alan.” He mumbles against my lips before kissing me again. “Don’t be mad, please?” He kisses me again quickly then pulls back.

“I’ll forgive you if we can go inside now.”

“Deal.” Austin smiles and grabs my hand

-=-

“So what happened?” Austin asks setting his plate down in his normal spot. I scrunched my face at the site of his popcorn shrimp.

“Bran was a guest-speaker in class today and he was being a real douche.” I sigh and move my pasta around.

“What did he do?” He asks popping a shrimp in his mouth.

“Like just thinking that he could call on me all the time, knowing that I probably didn’t know the answer."

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to embarrass you, Alan.”

“Yeah he did.” I sigh. “He was like what could both a wolf and a person be described as and of course he called on me, so I said ‘aggressive maybe’ and he was like ‘there is no maybe, Alan’ it was so stupid like he could’ve have just taken my answer.”

Austin nods. “I don’t think he meant to offend you.”

“It was still unnecessary.” I sigh.

“Not disagreeing, but there’s not much you can do about it.” Austin mumbles as I take a bite of my pasta.

“I can stop going to tutoring…”

Austin looks up. “No, Alan.”

“What do you mean ‘no’ it’s not your decision if I go to tutoring or not.” I lick the pasta sauce off the corner of my lip and look at him.

“I know that, but I’m saying that you need to go to tutoring, Alan. You can’t fail a class.”

“But it’s irrelevant to life.”

“But it is relevant to your GPA.” He sighs.

-=-

“What are you doing tonight?” Austin asks me as we walk out of the cafeteria.

I shrug. “I’m not sure, I might just stay in my room and do nothing.” Austin grabs my hand. “What about you?”

“Well, I was hoping I could spend some time with you, but since you already have plans I guess not.”

I roll my eyes. “What do you have in mind?”

“Well Tino and Penelope are no longer fighting, so maybe you could come over and watch a movie? I can make popcorn.”

I move closer to him. “That sounds like fun.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, what movie do you want to watch?”

“Um, how about a movie that doesn’t give me nightmares.” I suggest.

“Well there goes the fun.” He sighs.

I smack his arm. “Keep it up.”

“Keep what up?” He asks.

“Being a dick.”

“Sorry, Alan. Let’s go over to the Redbox and see what they have, I’ll even let you pick.”

“You’re such a gentleman.”

-=-

We walked to the Redbox which was located on the other side of commons.

“What about this one?”

Austin looks at the screen. “ _Frankenweenie _? Are we five?” He asks with a laugh.__

__“Um, it’s Tim Burton, so no.”_ _

__“That’s fine, if you want to watch it.” Austin gets his wallet out. “Pick another one; I’m not letting you leave my room.” He smirks._ _

__“Wow I guess you are kidnapping me, then.”_ _

__“Well, maybe.” He slaps my butt . “What about Brave?”_ _

__“And you say I’m five.”_ _

__“It’s Disney.”_ _

__“So is _Frankenweenie_.” I nudge him. “But _Brave_ is good, too.”_ _

__Austin adds it to the cart and then pays for the movies._ _

__-=-_ _

__“So I know it’s early, but instead of going to the caf, you want to get pizza delivered?” He asks as we throw our backpacks on the floor of his room._ _

__“I guess you were serious about me not leaving your room, huh.” I smile and fall onto his bed._ _

__“Basically.” He smirks. “Which movie do you want to watch first?”_ _

__“Brave because it looks shitty and I want to get it out of the way.”  
“That was uncalled for, Alan.” Austin sighs and puts the movie in the DVD player, then turns the TV on._ _

__“Should’ve picked a better movie.” I smile as Austin walks over to the bed._ _

__“Scoot.”_ _

__I sigh and move closer to the wall allowing Austin get on the bed. Once he gets situated, I cuddle up to him, resting my head on his chest and laying my arm across his waist._ _

__“Ready?” Austin asks draping his right arm around me and rests his hand on my hip, rubbing lightly._ _

__“Yeah, if I fall asleep it’s your fault.” I sigh as Austin presses play on the DVD remote._ _

__-=-_ _

__I was suddenly glad that Austin had picked this movie, it was so boring we had started kissing._ _

__Austin pulled me on top of him so I was l laying completely parallel to him. I had one hand on his chest and the other on his neck, moving my lips against his while his hands crept down my sides and towards my ass, making me grind against him._ _

__That Scottish bitch was going on about something, yelling in her annoying voice, kind of ruining the mood, but I had no idea where Austin put the remote and honestly he probably didn’t either._ _

__I pull back a little and Austin’s eyes open. “What’s wrong?”_ _

__“That stupid girl keeps talking and it’s ruining everything.” I sigh._ _

__“Mmm, just tune her out.” He leans up and catches my lips with his._ _

__-=-_ _

__Austin was on top of me now, shirtless. The TV was still on, but honestly I had forgotten about it because Austin was grinding his hips and running his fingers up my sides._ _

__“Really?” Tino sighs._ _

__Austin pulls away and looks over at the door._ _

__“This is the second fucking time, Austin.” Tino sets his backpack down on his bed._ _

__“Um, yeah, sorry. I wasn’t really planning on this happening.” Austin gets up and kneels in between my legs._ _

__I was planning on it happening._ _

__“Are you watching Brave?” Tino asks while he goes through his drawers._ _

__“Um, yeah.” Austin looks at me._ _

__“Not surprised. Anyway; I’m staying at Pen’s tonight, be safe.” Tino collects his stuff and heads out of the door._ _

__“We should probably order that pizza now, hm?” Austin asks and climbs over me._ _

__“Austin.” I whine._ _

__He looks over at me. “What?”_ _

__“You can’t just get up after that and not take care of the problem you caused.”_ _

__“What problem did I cause?” He asks like he’s so innocent and has no idea._ _

__“You know what you did.”_ _

__-=-_ _

__Austin has his lips around him, sucking lightly._ _

__“Aus—”_ _

__He stopped sucking and slide down further, taking more of me in, his fist around the rest. Austin started slowly moving up and using his tongue to flick over the tip when he got there. I bucked my hips and Austin took his hand off my base and took his mouth off my dick, making a small popping noise._ _

__He places his hands on my hips and pushes down on them forcefully. “Stay still.” He growls then licks underneath my erection before taking the tip into his mouth._ _

__He moves down quicker than before, still holding my hips in place. I knew I was already leaking precum, but Austin didn’t seem to mind._ _

__“Austin,” I moan as I slide my hand down to find his hair, intertwining my fingers in it the best I could with it being so short. Austin goes faster, sucking and bobbing his head. “oh,” Austin hollowed his cheeks. “I’m close, Aus,” I sigh and move my head back against his pillow. Austin sucks harder, which I didn’t think was possible and I cum with a shout of “Austin!”_ _

__Austin pulls running his hands down my thighs and looks me in the eye as he swallows. If I could have, I would have gotten hard again right then._ _

__He climbs up kissing up my stomach until he gets to my neck, where he places a few kisses then looks at me._ _

__“Can we get pizza now?”_ _


	28. twenty eight

“You really need to change your alarm noise.” Austin grumbles and shoves my phone in my face.

“Sorry,” I sigh and type in my code and turn the alarm off. “I don’t want to go to class.”

Austin laughs a little. “When do you ever want to go to class?”

“Good point.” I sigh and sit up because if I stayed in my cuddle position with Austin, I was going to fall back asleep and I’m pretty sure I had a biology test today. “Don’t you have class, too?” I ask climbing over him.

“Yeah, but we’re having a late start today because it’s just a review for our test Friday.”

“So you’re just going to let me get up and get ready by myself?” I ask grabbing my toothbrush and Austin’s toothpaste since I forgot to grab mine last night.

“Basically, yeah.” He smiles.

“You’re an ass.”

“I know, have fun brushing your teeth, I’ll be right here.”

-=-

“Can I borrow some clothes?” I ask Austin when I get back in the room. I had totally forgotten to grab clothes last night, too. Clearly I had more pressing matters like cuddling with my boyfriend.

“Your room is literally four doors down.” Austin laughs.

“I know but I’m already running late and my teacher sucks, please?”

“Yeah, I don’t care, take what you need.”

-=-

I decided to just wear my jeans again today because Austin’s were like a foot longer than my own and no one would notice. I did however take one of his shirts, a black slipknot one that surprisingly still had sleeves on it. It was super long on me since Austin is a great bit taller than me, but I didn’t really care.

“Okay, I’m leaving.” I tell Austin who was still in bed.

“Mmm, okay.”

I walk over and kiss his cheek. “I have tutoring today so I’ll see you after lunch?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

“Bye,”

“Bye, Alan, now to go class before you’re late.”

-=-

Thankfully class went by quickly, I actually didn’t have a test today, I got the weeks mixed up, so I guess I could study now. Doubt it though.

When I got to Bran’s office, he was on his way out.

“Oh, Alan, sorry, I thought I texted you.” He mumbles as he locks his door.

“Uh, no, why?”

“I have to fly to Chicago for an interview, I’ll be gone until next week.” He sighs and looks at me.

I smiled. No tutoring? Sign me up. “Oh, well I hope you have fun then.” I shrug.

“Uh, yeah, anyway, I’ll text you the number of someone who can help you if you need it, okay?”

I nod. “Yeah, well, I’ll see you when you get back, bye.”

-=-

I’m still confused to why Ohio has to be so cold. It was like thirty degrees and my fragile California body can’t handle this. I open the door to commons and am quickly thankful that this building is always so god damn hot. I get my lanyard out of my backpack and make my way to the cafeteria.

“Oh hey, Alan.” I look over to see Penelope with freshly colored red hair. It didn’t look half bad on her, actually.

“Hi Pen.” I smile.

“You usually don’t eat lunch with everyone on Wednesdays.” She bites her lip.

“Yeah, my tutor had to fly to Chicago.”

She nods quickly. “Oh, well um I have to go.” She stutters and then walks away quickly.

That was weird.

I sighed and walked to the doors of the cafeteria. I slide my card and walk over to our usual table. Only two people sat there Austin and Shayley.

Shayley.

I set my bag down next to Austin and he looks up, confused. “Alan? I thought you were at tutoring?”

Shayley looks over and scoffs. “Well, Bran had to cancel so I thought I would come eat lunch with you, but it seems like you’ve already got company.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Alan.” Shayley rolls his eyes and takes a drink of whatever was in his paper coffee cup.

“Hm, good thing I wasn’t talking to you.” I roll my eyes and turn to Austin. “So what’s this?” I ask.

“What’s what?”

“You hanging out with him.” It wasn’t enough that I couldn’t stand Shayley, but Shayley was Austin’s ex, and forgive me for sounding like a jealous boyfriend, but I didn’t appreciate Austin sneaking around to hang out with him.

“We’re just friends, Alan.” Austin mumbles

“I thought you two weren’t talking.”

“We made up over winter break.” Austin shrugs.

“That’s nice, you could’ve told me, that’s information your boyfriend should know.”

Shayley starts laughing. “Do you realize how jealous you sound right now?”

I turn to Shayley. “Again, I’m not talking to you, so stop involving yourself in our conversation.” I turn back to Austin.

“Calm down, Alan. It’s fine, we’re friends.” Austin sighs. “Just go get your food and we’ll talk about it later okay?” Austin looks up at me and is practically begging me with his eyes. I would do it for him, but the minute Shayley says something to piss me off, I’m done.

-=-

I set my plate of grilled cheese down next to Austin since Shayley was in my normal spot.

“So why aren’t you in tutoring?” Austin asks turning a little to face me.

“Bran had to fly to Chicago last minute and forgot to text me about it.” I take my jacket off and set it on my backpack. I look as Shayley rolls his eyes at me wearing one of Austin’s shirts.

“Oh, well I bet you’re happy about that.” Austin smiles as I sit in my seat. It felt weird sitting on this side, instead of Austin’s cute face I have to look at Shayley and his disheveled hair.

“Yeah, the less time I have to spend with him, the better.”

“Your tutor is Bran?” Shayley asks from across the table.

“Yeah, why?” I ask.

“Just wondering.” He shrugs. What a fucking idiot, there is literally no redeeming qualities about him, why is Austin friends with him.

-=-

“So, Austin, are you going to Virginia with Phil and everyone for Spring Break?” Shayley asks.

“Um, I was thinking about it.” Austin shrugs.

Well this is the first I’ve heard about this spring break thing.

“It’s going to be fun.” Shayley smiles. Shayley’s going? I wasn’t aware he and Phil were friends.

“You’re going?” Austin asks Shayley.

Shayley nods. “Yeah, Phil asked me at New Years, remember?” They spent New Years together?

“Oh, right.” Austin smiles and looks down. “I forgot.”

“You should come, Austin. It’ll be fun, everyone’s going.”

I popped a tater tot into my mouth.

“I mean I guess I could, but only if Alan could come.” Austin looks at me.

“I’m sure Phil wouldn’t mind.” Shayley smirks over his cup.

-=-

“We need to talk about Shayley.” I inform Austin as we walk back over to the Redbox to drop the movies off.

“Later, Alan.” Austin sighs.

“Later when?” I ask as we approach the machine.

Austin turns around. “When we get back to my room, drop it.” He turns back to the machine and feeds the movies in.

“Fine, you don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“I’m not being an ass, Alan. I just don’t want to have a private conversation in the fucking commons building.”

-=-

I follow Austin into his room and close the door behind me.

“Can we talk now?” I ask.

“I guess since you won’t let it up.” Austin sits in his desk chair.

I walk over to his bed. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Shayley were friends again?”

“Because I knew you’d act like this.” Austin spins in his chair.

“Do you blame me? He’s your ex.”

“And we’re just friends.” Austin stops when he’s facing me. “Alan I wouldn’t lie to you, okay? Shayley and I are just friends now.”

“Promise?” I ask as Austin grabs my hand.

“Yes, I’m with you, Alan, and only you. I promise.”

I bite my lip. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

I nod, even though I wasn't entirely sure I believed him.

_+_+_+_+_

I found myself in Justin’s room after Austin and I had our talk.

“You look upset.” Justin comments as I sit on his bed.

I nod my head. “Shayley and Austin are friends again.” I state and toss my backpack on the ground.

Justin opens his arms and I climb over to him and nestle myself into his hug. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, Bran had to go to Chicago for an interview or something, so I went to lunch to surprise Austin and Shayley was there. Apparently they’ve been friends since winter break. They spend New Year’s together.” I sigh as Justin rubs my back a little.

“I’m sorry, Alan.” He sighs. “I mean, At least you two weren’t together on New Year’s.”

“We had sex right before I left for home; he knows what he means to me.”

“But no one said they did anything.” Justin says hopefully. “Maybe they just hung out.”

“It’s Shayley, of course they did something.” I sigh. “He’s out to get me.”

I could feel Justin roll his eyes. “Let’s not overreact; Shayley doesn’t have it out for you.”

“Yes he does.”

“Why don’t you just ask him if he and Shay fucked over winter break?”

“I think they did.”

“Why?”

“Well, when I went to that party with Natalie I called Austin on the way back and he was acting weird, remember?”

“Yeah, kind of.”

“Well, I knew he wasn’t at his house, I heard a sliding door, Austin’s apartment doesn’t have a sliding door.”

“Doesn’t mean it was Shayley’s house though; I think you should just ask Austin flat out if he and Shay fucked, then you’ll know.”

“That’s so awkward though, and he’ll probably tell me it’s none of my business.”

“You could always ask Shay.” Justin offers. “You know, if asking Austin is too awkward.”

“Are you serious?” I ask moving to look at him.

“It was just a suggestion.”

-=-

“I’ll get it.” Justin sighs and slides off his bed and heads over to the door. I sighed and pulled his big, cozy wolf blanket farther up and turned up whichever Kardashian show was on right now. All I know is that Kim is taking this cat that Kanye got her for a walk. What an idiot.

“Hey Phil.” Justin sighs.

“Um, I just wanted to remind you,” Phil waves at me from the door and I give a small wave back. “and Alan that there’s a hall meeting tonight to discuss next year. You’ll be getting paperwork that you’ll need to fill out, so you need to be there. It’s over in South.”

“I wouldn’t dare miss it.” Justin mumbles sarcastically.

“Good, anyway, I’ll see you at seven!” Phil smiles and then slowly walks away, probably to the next room.

Justin closes the door. “He’s so annoying.” He sighs as he climbs into bed next to me.

“I bet.” I laugh.

-=-

“So, next year,” Justin mumbles as he pours two bowls of cereal. What a nutritious dinner.

“What about it?” I ask and sit up, shoving the blanket over a little so I wouldn’t spill mill and cereal on it.

Justin sighs. “Do you want to be roommates?” He turns around and walks towards me and extends a bright blue bowl to me with a matching spoon. “I mean we’re together most of the time anyway, we might as well be.” He climbs on the bed carefully with his own yellow bowl.

I smile a bit. “I’m honored, Justin Trotta.”

“So we’ll be roommates then?” He asks hopefully.

“Obviously.” I roll my eyes. “Where should we live?”

“In the building farthest away from where Phil is RAing because I can’t handle another year with him.” Justin sighs and shoves a spoonful of Cheerios in his mouth.

“He isn’t that bad.”

“Yes, he is. He’s a psych major so he feels the need to analyze everyone and ask us all once a week how we’re feeling.”

“At least he takes his job seriously.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “A little too seriously.”

“Anyway, where do you think you want to live, like if Phil was staying here in Oak, where would you want to live?” I ask.

He shrugs. “TRAC looks pretty nice.”

“What’s that?” I ask. I only knew of Oak, Rodgers, and the apartments behind the humanities building and Rodgers.

“It’s like right across from commons, hence the name, The Rodgers Across from Commons, or TRAC.” Justin laughs.

“How much money did this Rodgers guy donate?”

“A lot.” Justin smiles. “But who cares about him, TRAC and Rodgers are set up practically the same, but juniors and seniors prefer the actual Rodgers because they’re farther from campus safety so they can have more parties.”

“That makes sense.”

“Yeah, and we’d only have to share a bathroom with two other people, heaven.”

“That sounds good, we should totally try.” I smile and shove a spoonful of cinnamon toast crunch in my mouth.

-=-

“How long do you think this is going to take?” Justin asks as we lean against my door. I had no idea where Vince was.

“Not long, hopefully.” I honestly didn’t really want to see Austin, I was still kind of disappointed in him.

“And it’s now seven and there’s like fifteen people out here.” Justin sighs.

“There’s Phil,” Phil was standing next to Austin, a hand on his shoulder and saying something to him.

“Did I miss something?” Vince asks appearing next to Justin, looking sweating and gross.

Justin looks over and scrunches his face. “No, they haven’t even started yet.”

Vince nods. “Good, knock on the door if they start, Alan? I’m going to change.”

“Yeah, please do, you smell like a gym.”

-=-

Justin had made Vince stand across the hall from us because even though he changed, he still smelled gross.

“Do you think he’s trying to get built?” Justin laughs.

“Don’t be mean, Jus.” I roll my eyes. “Maybe his girlfriend likes that or something. I don’t know, but just leave him alone.”

Justin sighs. “Fine.”

“Alright, gather round.” Phil says as he stands kind of in the center of the misshapen circle, Austin next to him. No one really moves, causing Phil to sigh. “Alright since no one is listening, I’ll just talk and if you can’t hear me, that’s your problem.”

“Someone grew some balls.” Justin whispers.

I bite my lip to keep from laughing and Austin looks over at me and gives me a small smile.

“Okay, Austin is going to pass around these papers,” Phil says and hands Austin a stack of papers that are bright blue. “These are the forms you have to get filled out by every office on this campus.” Phil says as Austin shoves the stack of paper in the hands of the kid Tino told me they call Manson and tells him to take one and pass it down. “I know it sounds terrible, but it’s really not. You just go in there, they’ll check you off if you’re clear and if you’re not, they’ll tell you what to do.”

“Sounds easy enough.” Justin sighs as I had him the stack of papers.

“Also included is the form for housing next year. The faster you get your paper and your housing agreement with optional roommate selection, the better the ticket number you get to pick where you live. As you know, you’re more than welcome to come back to Oak Hill if you want to live in a theme hallway, but if you’re sick of living here, your options are provided on your sheet.” Phil says and Austin awkwardly stands next to him. “Also, if you’re rooming with a friend, that doesn’t mean that only one of you has to turn their housing papers in, you still have to do it. There’s no getting out of it unless you want to live off campus.” Phil shrugs.

“Are we done yet?” Some kid asks and Phil looks over at him.

Phil looks at Austin who shrugs. “I guess we can be. If you have any questions, you know where to find Austin or myself. Enjoy your night.”

Everyone disperses to their rooms and Vince runs past us. Hopefully to get his shower stuff because honestly, I wasn’t dealing with that tonight. I started to walk behind Justin over to North.

“Alan?” Justin and I both turn and look at Austin.

“Yeah?” I ask quietly.

“Can we talk?” He asks.

Honestly, I didn’t want to talk to him, I just wanted to hang out with Justin until I forgot about Shayley, but Austin was my boyfriend and no matter how upset I was with him, I should at least try to work it out with him. “I guess.”

“Want to come to my room?” He asks.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll text you, Justin.” I smile at him before following Austin to his room.

-=-

I sit on Austin’s bed and he sits on Tino’s bed across from me.

“I understand why you’re still upset with me.” Austin starts. “Except there’s nothing more I can do, you know? I’ve told you the truth.” He looks at me.

“I don’t know what to say, Austin.”

Austin sighs. “Can we just forget about this? If you want me to stop talking to him I will.”

I resisted the urge to dramatically fall back on Austin’s bed and instead got up and sat on Tino’s next to him. “I don’t want to be that kind of boyfriend, though, the kind that picks your friends, that’s not what I want.” I sigh and grab his hand. Austin looked so upset that he hurt me. “I just,” I sigh. “I don’t want you sneaking around anymore, just tell me the truth.”

Austin nods. “I just didn’t want to worry you.”

“And looked what happened.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really think it through, honestly.” He sighs.

“It’s okay, we’ll just put it behind us, you’re friends with Shay, I’m over it.” I wasn’t over it; I just didn’t want to fight with Austin anymore. The only way I could stop being disappointed in Austin was to give him a second chance.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

I nod.

“Want to go to dinner? It’s late but I waited for you.” Austin rubs his thumb across my fingers.

“I already ate with Justin, but I’ll come with you.” I smile.


	29. twenty nine

“So are you and Justin going to live together next year?” Austin asks as he dips his French fries into his ketchup. I wasn’t exactly sure what his fascination with ketchup was, but it was gross.

“Planning on it.” I smile. “What about you and Tino?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want my senior year roommate to be anyone else, honestly.” He laughs.

“Where are you living?” I ask.

“Apartments, I’m RAing over there.”

“They’re letting you back?” I laugh.

He nods. “They’ve decided I’ve learned my lesson.” He looks at me and bites his lip a little.

I decided that I needed to change the subject. “So Andy is surprising Justin for Valentine’s Day.” I inform Austin. I had an idea for what I wanted to do for Valentine’s Day for us, but I had to get Austin to go along with it.

“Oh is he?” Austin asks mid bite of his burger.

“Yeah, pretty cute, huh?” I ask.

He shrugs. “I guess.”

“Do you think it will snow soon?” Austin was obviously too invested in his food to talk about romantic getaways.

Another shrug. “It could, I’m counting on it; it didn’t snow at all last year. Pretty devastating.”

“Why would you want it to snow? It’s cold and just ruins everything.”

“It gets you out of class if there’s enough of it.” Austin takes a drink of his coke. “Worth the unbearable cold to be in your dorm doing nothing.”

“I guess that would be nice.”

“If it snows and you’re so cold you can hardly take it, you can come keep warm in my room.” Austin offers.

“Nice try but Tino keeps it like an icebox in your room, so I think I’ll stay in my own room.” I smile.

-=-

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Austin starts as we head to the elevator. “Tino’s best friend, Loniel is throwing a party next weekend, want to come with me?” He asks and presses the arrow that was facing up.

“Um, I don’t know Austin. I’ve only been to one college party and it wasn’t exactly my thing, you know?”

“Because you didn’t know anyone.” Austin smiles as we walk into the elevator. “How about you come and stay for an hour and if you hate it, we’ll leave.”

I sighed. That was more than fair. “I guess.”

“At least act happy.” Austin laughs and presses the button marked with 2.

I rolled my eyes. “Wow I can’t wait to watch you talk to your friends and get drunk.”

“You can drink, too.” Austin shrugs.

“And then you can clean up my vomit.” I smile as we get off on our floor.

“On second thought, maybe you shouldn’t drink.” He smiles and holds the door to South wing open for me.

“Whatever.” I mumble.

“Um, are you staying in your room tonight?” Austin asks, it was just now getting close to nine and tomorrow I had a biology lab, something about genetics, I wasn’t really sure.

“I don’t know, why?” I ask. I wasn’t having sex with him, that’s for sure. He needs to earn that privilege back, but I guess actually sleeping next to him would be okay.

“I mean I thought maybe you’d want to sleep in my room? I can help you with your housing stuff so you can get it done, if you want, of course.” Austin kind of stutters, which I’ve noticed he does when he gets nervous. “I mean or we could watch a movie, I’ll let you pick or talk, whatever you want.”

“Just let me get my stuff and I’ll be over.”

Austin smiles and places a quick kiss on my cheek. I guess he’s questioning if I’m still upset with him. I unlocked my door and walked in to find Vince doing sit-ups on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I ask and step over him to get to my side of the room.

“I told Shawna I would do this LARPing thing with her over spring break and it’s pretty rigorous apparently, so I’m trying to get in shape so I don’t need to stop every five minutes.” Vince smiles as he gets up.

“I’m not going to ask what LARPing is.” I sigh and realize that my backpack is still in Justin’s room. I’d have to go get it on my way to Austin’s.

“Live acting role playing.” Vince informs me and puts his glasses back on. “You and Austin should try it.”

I laugh a little bit. “Yeah, we’re not really into running around a forest in medieval style costumes, thanks though.” I shove my jeans off quickly and slide the pair of sweatpants that were on the floor on. I wasn’t really sure if they were clean or dirty, but they didn’t smell, so therefore they were clean to me.

“Oh no, it’s a zombie apocalypse themed one.” Vince tells me. “It’s going to be really cool so if you’re not doing anything for spring break, hit me up.” He smiles.

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass; thanks though.” I grab some clothes and shove them in a Wal-Mart bag along with my toothbrush and toothpaste, then grab my paper and head towards the door.

“You’re not staying here tonight?” Vince asks.

“Nope, staying at Austin’s, the place is yours.” I smile.

“Awesome.” He hops into his bed and turns his video game on. Well I know how he’s spending his night.

-=-

“You’re staying at Austin’s tonight?” Justin asks. “You sure forgave him quickly.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s fine. I’m just putting it behind me.”

“Earlier you were convinced that he had sex with Shayley over winter break.”

“And I still suspect it, but I’m not going to ask.”

“Why?”

“Because, Justin, I’m not going to be an annoying jealous boyfriend.”

“Okay then.” Justin sighs and pops a few pieces of popcorn in his mouth and turns up what I’m assuming to be Glee because they just finished their song.

-=-

Justin really didn’t need to be so rude to me, honestly. I understand that he has questions, I have them too, but right now I think the best thing to do is to just ignore the whole winter break thing completely. I open Austin’s door to him sitting on his bed, a thick book opened in front of him. He was moving his head and lips to the faint music I could hear coming out of his headphones.

I close the door quietly and set my backpack and Wal-Mart bag down just as quietly, Austin tapping his pen along with rap beat I could hear coming from his headphones now that I was closer.

Since Austin thought it was so funny to scare me the other day, I would do the same to him now. I slowly approach his bed, careful to make little noise even though he wouldn’t hear me. He scribbles something down in his notebook, the moves down a line, presumably writing a number, then flips a page in his book and scrolls down the page with his free hand.

I push him slightly and Austin flinches a little. “Jesus, Alan.” He sighs and takes his headphones off. “You surprised me.”

He moves his book so I can sit down. “What are you doing?”

“History of Japan homework.” He sighs.

“I’m sorry.” I smile. “Do you want me to go so you can concentrate?”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m almost done.”

“Well I’ll go get us some coffee while you finish that up, okay?”

“I’d rather have an Oreo Flurry.”

“I can’t walk to McDonald’s.”

Austin takes his keys off his table. “You have your license, right?”

I nod slowly.

“It’s right up the street.” He holds his keys up.

“Who said I wanted to go outside? It’s cold.”

Austin pouts a little. “Then you shouldn’t have offered.”

“I didn’t though.”

“Please Alan?” He begs.

I sigh and take the keys from him. “You owe me major cuddles when I get back.”

“Win-win for me.” He smiles and grabs his wallet and pulls a ten out. “Get whatever you want.”

I take it from him. “You spoil me.” I laugh.

-=-

I really didn’t feel comfortable driving Austin’s car. It was totally different from my dad’s CR-V which I mostly drove. Austin’s car was long and just not my ideal vehicle to drive. I pulled into the parking lot at McDonald’s and got out. There was no way I was driving this thing through the drive thru. There was surprisingly a lot of people in McDonald’s for it being a little after ten.

-=-

“I thought I was going to die.” I sigh and hand Austin his precious McFlurry, then empty the change onto his table.

“Why?”

“Your car is so big and I was terrified I was going to hit something.” I toe my shoes off and move them next to his desk.

“Did you drive like an old lady?” Austin asks while laughing.

“Yeah, I went like twenty on the main road and it’s like forty five.” I sigh.

Austin laughs a little as I climb into bed next to him. “Well at least you’re cute.” He smiles and quickly kisses me.

"Did you finish your homework?" I ask as I get under his blanket.

"Yeah, did you?"

"I didn't have any."

"Lucky you." He kisses the top of my head and turns the TV on and starts to flip through channels.

_+_+_+_+_+_

It was getting closer to Loniel’s party and I still had no idea who he was or where he lived. Austin was keeping his lips sealed about him and honestly I was kind of scared that maybe he didn’t exist.

“You’re going to a college party without me?” Justin sighs from his place on the floor. I was trying to find my phone in my bed, then Justin and I were going to head over to grab lunch with Austin and everyone. Hopefully Shayley wasn’t involved in that ‘everyone’ because even though it had been a week since I found out about their friendship, I still had my doubts.

“I guess; it’ll probably be super stupid though.” I hop down on my dresser with my phone in hand.

“I doubt it.” Justin scoffs. “It’s a college party.”

“Well you can come if you want. I’m sure Austin wouldn’t mind.”

“I actually have a date with Andy so, yeah, choice has already been made.” He shrugs and pulls his own phone out.

“How are you two doing, anyway?” I ask and slide my shoes on.

“We’re doing good.” Justin sighs. “It’s just.” He stops and runs his hand through his hair.

“It’s just what?” I ask.

“He still hasn’t asked me to be his boyfriend yet.” Another sigh escapes his lips and he shoves his phone into his pocket.

I grabbed my hoodie and slipped it on. “Well, maybe he doesn’t want to do it over the phone.”

Justin nods. “But we’re hardly going to see each other. Like he told me he doesn’t know when he’ll see me next.”

That was a lie. “I wouldn’t worry about it. He obviously likes you a lot.”

-=-

“So you’re coming to Loniel’s party?” Tino asks with a hint of surprise in his voice. “I thought you didn’t do parties? I mean after that display on the roof that one night.”

I sigh. “I’m only doing it because Austin said we could leave after an hour if it sucked.”

“Really, Austin? You’ve been asking me all year when Loni is throwing the party and you’re willing to leave in an hour?”

Austin shrugs. “It’s just a party.”

I kind of felt bad; I didn’t want Austin to give up something he really wanted to go to because of me.

-=-

“Justin can you take me somewhere?” I ask as Justin and I walk back to Oak. Austin had gone to study; apparently he had an exam tomorrow and wanted to do some last minute cramming before it.

“Where? Wal-Mart?”

I shake my head. “The Hampton down the street.”

Justin stops, causing me to stop, too. “Why do you need to go to a hotel?” He asks while looking at me weird.

“I’m getting Austin and me a room for Valentine’s Day.” I mumble quietly.

“Really? I thought you weren’t into romance.” He laughs.

I sigh. “Well, I kind of fucked up last time so I figured I could make up for it with this.”

“Oh, okay. At least one of us will have a sexy Valentine’s Day.” Justin mumbles and continues walking.

-=-

Thirty minutes and nearly two hundred dollars later, I had booked a room for the Friday after Valentine’s Day. I know I would be getting a phone call from my mom later, but honestly, I didn’t care.  
Austin and I needed this. Hopefully we could get past this stupid Shayley thing.

“What kind of room did you get?” Justin asks when I get back into his car.

“Uh, the one with the hot tub in it.”

“Are you two going to fuck in there?” He asks and starts the engine.

“Um, maybe? I don’t know.” I laugh slightly.

“You should, hot tub sex is so good.” He smiles.

-=-

“So I just got a text from the bank saying that you just spent two hundred dollars on a hotel room” My mom states calmly into the phone. Called it, did I not?

“Um yeah, about that.” I sigh and close my biology book. No studying was going to happen with my mom on the phone.

I hear a sigh through the phone. “Can I ask why you got this room, Alan?” She was being surprisingly calm.

“Um, well, it's for a romantic night for Austin and me.”

“Isn’t that your RA? Alan what aren’t you telling me?”

“Mom,” It came out as a combination of a whine and sigh.

“Alan.”

“Austin and I are dating and yeah, it’ll be Valentine’s Day, so I decided to go ahead and do it.”

“You have a boyfriend? When did this happen?” She asks excitedly, hopefully she forgot about the ‘Alan spent two hundred dollars part’ now that I’ve told her I have a boyfriend.

“Um a couple of weeks ago?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just didn’t? I don’t know mom, but I’m trying to study so can I call you later?”

“Of course, baby. Just next time, ask?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. Study so you can get a good grade, I love you.”

“Love you too, bye.”

I hang up the phone and set it next to my closed book. Vince was playing his stupid video game again, honestly, I don’t know when the kid studies or sleeps or eats. All he does is play that game and hang out with Shawna.

It was getting closer to eleven; I was ready for bed and had had enough biology for the night. I wonder if Austin was awake. I grab my phone and find his message thread.

hey are you busy? I send and lean back in my chair a little so I could see what Vince was doing.

My phone buzzes and I look away right when Vince is about to shoot a zombie in the head. not really, I just got done study for my Japanese history exam, want to come over?

if you don’t care?

of course i don’t care. :) see you in a few ;)

-=-

I set my bag down in front of Austin’s closet. Austin had decided to keep his door unlocked when he was in the room, because I didn’t knock anyway.

“Are you going to get an A on your exam tomorrow?” I ask and walk over to Austin’s bed.

“I’m going to try my hardest.”

I smile and climb into his bed, then lay down on top of him. “Well, at least you’re giving it your best.”

Austin touches my face. “What about you? Biology test tomorrow, right?”

I nod and lean into his touch, almost like how a cat leans into being pet. “Unfortunately.”

“You’ll do fine. You’re doing so good on your quizzes.” He smiles.

“Yeah, I get biology, it’s just boring.”

“At least you’re good at it.”

I nod. “I’m also good at sleeping.”

“I know you are.” He laughs. “You’re good at a lot of things.”

-=-

The next morning we weren’t woken up by my alarm going off, but by Austin’s.

“And you say my alarm is annoying." I sigh and pull his blanket over my head.

“Sorry, I was going to get up and study a little bit before I headed to class.” He sighs.

“Are you leaving then?”

“No that was before you came over here and seduced me.” He turns over and wraps his right around me.

I yawn a little and push myself so my back was against his chest. “Pretty sure it was the other way around.”

“Go back to sleep.” Austin yawns into my hair.


	30. thirty

“You look so hot, Alan.” Justin smiles from behind me. “I don’t do gingers and I would do you, that’s how hot you look right now.”

“Thanks?” I sigh and turn a little. Justin had loaned me a pair of his black jeans that usually sagged a little because they were very tight fitting in the ass. Hence why I was now wearing them---so Austin’s eyes wouldn’t linger to Shayley, if he was even going to be at this party.

“You’re welcome.” He smiles and shoves a red beanie down on my head. “Pop of color.” He shrugs. I looked in the mirror; I was wearing a tight enough shirt that was almost black, which would be paired with my black fake leather jacket that had a light gray hood attached to it.

“I’m not sure I want to go.”

“What?”

“I have a bad feeling about all of this. I mean Austin just yesterday told me who Loniel was and where he lives.”

“You act like that’s an important detail.” Justin rolls his eyes and leans against Vince’s bed. “It’ll be fine, you can drink a little, grind up on your boyfriend, have slightly intoxicated sex with him in a stranger’s bed. It’ll be awesome.”

“Yeah, that sounds like my idea of a good time.” I mumble sarcastically. Note to self: Justin is a freak and should probably be seeing a therapist.

There was a knock on the door, probably Austin. “It’s open.” The door opens and Austin comes in, wearing a blue denimish looking shirt with a white v neck under it. Why did he have to look that good right now?”

“Hey,” He smiles and walks over to me. “you look good.”

“Bye Alan, bye Austin.” Justin smiles as he walks to the door. “Have fun you two.”

“Are these pants new?” Austin asks before leaning down and kissing me. “Your ass looks amazing in them.”

“They’re Justin’s.” I sigh.

“I like them.” He smiles. “Let’s get going?”

I nod. “Yeah, let me just grab my phone.”

-=-

Austin parks his car in the lot behind the apartment complex that was behind the college, just past Rodgers and the humanities building, but it wasn’t owned by the college. It wasn’t far, honestly, we could have walked, but Austin insisted on driving due to possible snow falling tonight. Just what I needed.

I could hear the music from outside, I couldn’t make it out, but it was definitely something with a lot of bass. I bet Loniel’s neighbors were happy.

Austin opens the door and holds it for me; I walk into what I’m assuming to be the living room. The room should’ve been bright with white lights, but instead was blanketed in the cool shades of blue and green.

“I’ll make you a drink?” He asks as he grabs my hand and leads me through a doorway and into a small kitchen. A couple of huge buckets were on the floor filled with beer.

“Austin, you know I don’t drink beer.” I sigh.

“Yeah, but Loniel always keeps mixers and stuff. Jack and coke?” He asks.

“I’ll try it.”

Austin smiles and picks up a red cup. He grabs a can of coke and pours it in, then grabs a bottle from the few that were out. He finishes pouring and hands me the cup. “Here you go.” He smiles.

“Thanks.” I sniff it and take a small sip as Austin grabs a beer from one of the tubs.

-=-

Austin and I were kind of dancing to _Pass That Dutch_ by Missy Elliot. Austin was on his second beer, I was still on my first jack and coke, but it was almost gone.

“I need another beer.” Austin sighs and removes his slight erection from my back. I turn around and look at him. “This will be your third? We’ve haven't been here that long.”

“I’m thirsty.” He shrugs.

“Anyway, this is really boring and you agreed, one hour and if it was terrible, we’d leave.” I down the rest of my drink and set the cup on the coffee table.

“We haven’t talked to my friends yet, plus we have,” Austin pulls his phone out and checks the time. “twenty-two minutes left.”

I sigh. “Let’s go find them, then.”

-=-

Austin was talking to Loniel, a tall guy that seemed very happy. No wonder he and Tino were friends. I was starting to feel the alcohol.

“I’m feeling kind of dizzy. I’m going to go sit down.” I tell Austin.

“Want me to come with you?” He asks.

“No, you still have fifteen minutes, use them wisely.” I sigh and stumble off into a hallway.

-=-

I ended up in someone’s room, my guess it was Loniel’s due to the pictures and the unkemptness of the bed. I sat where it looked the neatest, it had the smallest chance of having sex juice or something on it.

I just wanted to go back to the door and cuddle under a warm blanket, this apartment was cold and this party was boring.

The door opened and Loniel wandered in. “Hey, sorry Alan. I gotta take a leak.” He laughs and stumbles over to one of the doors and opens it, then unzips his fly. “Um, Loniel, that’s your closet.” I mention.

“Oh shit, thanks Red.” He opens the door next to his closet door then closes it behind him. I could hear him pee through the door, I thought about leaving, but Austin still had a few minutes and I didn’t want to leave the room just yet. The toilet flushes and I hear water come on, then go off quickly. At least he tried. The door opens and Loniel grabs a carton of goldfish off the bookshelf next to his door.

“Want some? You look pretty lonely up here.” He smiles and tears the top off.

After you didn’t wash your hands properly and were just handling your dick? “No thanks.” I smile.

“I’m tryna to sober up, you know? My girl is coming later, hates when I drink, she says I’m a sloppy drunk, can’t say I disagree.” He shoves a handful of tiny goldfish crackers in his mouth and chews loudly. “What ‘bout you, huh? You with Austin?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Dang, he got over Shay quick.” Loniel laughs. “I mean they were just fucking in the guest room over winter break.”

What?

“But I mean if I had sloppy Shay and a cute little Red like you, I know who I’d pick.” He smiles.

“Um thanks I guess. Can we go back to where Shayley and Austin were having sex in your guest room?”

“You didn’t know? Shit man, Austin told me he was single I just believed him.”

“He was single.”

“Oh, I got you.” He shoves some more goldfish in his mouth. “But yeah, they started their little,” He stops to think of a word. “fling? Is that the right word? Oh well, you know what I mean, they started it a couple days before New Year’s Eve.”

“Oh did they?” I ask. I was devastated.

He nods. “Yeah, I threw a little party and those two were all over each other. Shayley stayed in my guest room over break and Austin was over here quite a bit, door always closed, music kind of loud. You can’t fool ol’ Loni though, I knew they were fucking.”

I nod. “I’m going to go.”

-=-

“Whoa whoa whoa? Where’s the fire?” Austin asks as I walk past him.

“I’m leaving.” I sigh

“I’ll drive you.” Austin grabs my arm. “What’s wrong?”

“You still have five minutes, I’ll be fine.”

“Something’s wrong, Alan.” Austin states.

I shake my head and pull away so he lets go of my arm. “I’m leaving.”

“I said I’ll drive you.”

“I’ll walk, it’s fine.” I was so pissed at him; I didn’t want to be near him at all. He lied to me.

“What’s wrong?” Austin pushes me into the hallway wall and cages me with his arms.

“Let me go, Austin.”

“No, tell me what’s wrong.”

“You and Shay had sex.” I state and look into his eyes.

Austin swallows and looks away, still keeping his hands placed firmly against the wall. “Al—”

I cut him off. “You two sure did make up over break, huh?” I ask.

“Alan, look we weren’t together.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Um, yes it does. Shayley and I had sex over break, quite a bit. You and I weren’t together, you were home in California; it was nothing.”

“If it was ‘nothing’ you wouldn’t have to lie to me about it.”

“I didn’t lie!”

“You didn’t tell the truth.”

“You never asked me if I fucked him, Alan. Had you asked me, I would’ve told you that I did.”

“Oh, like you told me that you two were friends again? Right.” I push him back and head towards the door. I couldn’t hear Austin walking behind me. Maybe he took the hint that I was right and he was wrong.

-=-

I slammed the door and immediately regretted not taking that ride Austin had offered. As awkward as it would've been, at least I wouldn’t have to walk across campus in the snow. Of course the first time I would see snow would be after have to be after possibly ending my first actual college relationship. I sighed and zipped my coat up and walked towards the humanities building at least from there I could walk on a concrete path and not through the grass.

-=-

Walking to humanities took longer than I thought and I was freezing, maybe, just maybe the door would be unlocked. I pulled on the door and felt it move a little. It was locked. With a sigh I hugged myself tighter and walked a few feet out, Bran’s office lights were on. I was suddenly glad he was back from Chicago. I grabbed my phone out and quickly text him.

_hey I’ll explain later. Are you in your office? I need to talk and I’m freezing._

_are you outside humanities?_

_yes please let me in_

_be right down._

-=-

Bran came down a few minutes later and opened the door, the lights that stayed on 24/7 hit Bran’s hair forming a small halo.

“What are you even doing here?” He sighs and lets me in.

“I was at the apartments, the ones the college doesn’t own.” I sigh and take in the buildings heat.

Bran locks the door back. “Why?”

“Some lame party. Why are you here so late?”

“Thinking?” He shrugs. “Come on, let’s go upstairs, I’ve got a blanket and can make you some shitty hot chocolate.” He pushes me slightly towards the elevator. “And in exchange you can tell me why you’re walking around in the snow at night.”

_+_+_+_+_+_+__

“Sit on the couch.” Bran commands and walks over to one of his display cases that had a frosted glass cabinet at the bottom. He pulls out a bright yellow blanket and brings it over to me. “This will keep you warm.”

“Thanks.” I mumble and kick my shoes off so they wouldn’t get the blanket wet.

Bran walks over to his desk and pulls out a mug and a packet. “I’ll be right back; I’m going to go get some hot water for this.” He gives me a small smile and walks out the door, keeping it open.

I snuggled into the blanket; it smelt really good, fresh and clean.

Bran comes back in and hands me the mug. “Marshmallows, right.” He smiles a bit and walks over to his desk and pulls a half empty package. “I’m kind of addicted to these.” He walks over and hands it to me. I take the clip off and place three in my cup. “Thanks Bran.” Maybe he wasn’t terrible.

“No problem.” He sits down next to me.

“Why do you have all of this stuff in here?” I ask and take a small sip of hot chocolate.

“I’m a graduate student, Alan.” He laughs. “Any free time between class, working, and writing my book, I’m sleeping. Most of the time it’s not even worth it to go back to my apartment.”

“So you just sleep here?”

“Yeah, I mean the couch is comfortable enough and it’s always warm in here, so it’s kind of ideal.” He shrugs. “But enough about me and where I sleep.”

I take a drink and look away from him.

“How did you end up here?” He asks.

I sigh and turn to face him. “I got in a fight with my boyfriend at a party and I was walking back to Oak and I was freezing so I stopped here. Your light just happened to be on.”

“Do you mind if I ask what you got in a fight about?”

“He hooked up with his ex over winter break.” I sigh. “And didn’t tell me, I mean we weren’t together, but still, that’s something he could have mentioned, considering they’re friends again.”

“I could understand being upset about that.” Bran mumbles. “Do you think they’re still hooking up?”

I shrug. “Not sure, I mean I wouldn’t put it past Shayley to try something like that, to try to get with Austin even though he’s with me.”

“You’re dating Austin?” Bran asks with a shocked tone. “I didn’t know he and Shayley broke up.”

“Yeah, like forever ago, but they were like friends with benefits or some shit, then they stopped talking, and I assumed they were still at odds, but I guess not.”

“Well, you know, they do say not to assume.”

“You’re not helping.”

Bran shrugs. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“About what?”

“Are you going to see if he’s cheating on you?”

“Um, I don’t know.” I sigh. “How would I even do that? I can’t exactly just follow him around.”

“Look through his phone.”

“I’m not going to go through his phone.”

“That’s the only way you’re going to find out, though.”

-=-

“I better get back to my room.” I sigh and move the blanket off me.

“Oh, okay.” Bran sighs. “Well, at least let me drive you?”

“That’d be awesome, actually.” I give him a small smile. “If you don’t mind.”

He shakes his head and gets up. “It’s no problem. I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold and miss class.” He laughs a little.

“Yeah that would be terrible.” I roll my eyes and wait for him to grab his keys.

-=-

“Um thanks for everything, Bran.” I give him a small smile.

“No problem.” He bites his lip. “I’m glad I could help you from getting pneumonia.”

“Yeah, I really didn’t want one of my limbs to fall off tonight.” I look out the window.

“What?” He laughs.

“You know, pneumonia, that’s where your limbs fall off because they’re cold.”

Bran laughs a little more. “No, Alan, that’s not true. Frostbite can make them go permanently numb but they won’t fall off. Common misconception, actually.”

“Oh,” I sigh. I felt really stupid.

He smiles a bit. “You always have interesting things to say.”

“I don’t mean to.” I shrug.

Bran pulls in a parking space in the back of Oak. He shuts his car off, only leaving the headlights on.

“Thanks again.” I smile.

He nods. “Anytime,” He licks his lips a little and looks at me.

“I, um,” I was kind of taken off guard by how attractive that looked. “should go.”

Bran nods again. “If you have to.”

I look over at him. I wasn’t sure if it was the heartache, or the alcohol, or just because Bran looked so fucking hot right now, but I didn’t even flinch when he leaned over the center console and pressed his perfect, unchapped lips against the corner of my mouth. He pulls back a little and looks at me. I drew breath in quickly before Bran pressed his lips against mine softly. I didn’t want to kiss back, but I did. Bran put his hand on my cheek and moved his lips to get a better angle.

I pulled back. “Bran, I can’t.”

He rests his forehead against mine and sighs, minty breath tingling at my nose. “I understand.”

“I’ll see you Wednesday for tutoring.”

Bran sits in his seat. “Yeah.” He gives me a small smile.

-=-

Just when my night couldn’t get any worst, of course I had to pass Penelope on the way to the elevator.

“I, um, heard what happened.” She mumbles and stands in front of me, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I thought you knew.”

“Obviously I didn’t.” I look down at my shoes and kick the ground a little.

“Oh, well, um, I have to go, Tino’s waiting.” She excuses herself to the stairs.

Likely story. I sigh and pressed the button with an up facing arrow.

-=-

“Are you seriously still playing that fucking game?” I ask Vince and let the door slip from my fingers, resulting in a loud slamming noise.

“Uh, I can turn it off, I thought you were gone for the night.”

“I’m sorry, Vince.” I sigh and kick my shoes off. “Bad night.”

“It’s okay. I’ll head over to Shawna’s so you can mope in peace.” He pauses his game and clicks 'save.'

“Thanks Vince.” I give him a small smile and shove my jeans off, the climb into bed.

Tomorrow will be better.

I hope.


	31. thirty one

I didn’t leave my room all weekend and Vince didn’t come back until late Sunday night. Needless to say, I didn’t want to go to class on Monday. I felt like shit and like a hypocrite. Not a good mixture.

“Where have you been?” Justin asks from next to my room door. “I thought you died.”

“Unfortunately still alive.” I make sure my door is locked and shove my keys in my pocket.

“What happened?”

“Austin fucked Shayley, we got into a mini-fight, I left the party without him, ended up in Bran’s office where I talked to him some, Bran drove me back to Oak and kissed me. Great weekend.”

Justin stops and grabs my arm. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not repeating myself.”

“Bran kissed you?” Justin asks.

“That’s what we’re focusing on?”

“Um for the time being, yes.” Justin sighs. “Did you kiss him back?”

I look away. “Maybe a little?”

“Alan!” Justin exclaims. “How could you? Why?”

“I don’t know Justin! But it wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“You do realize that you really have right to be mad at Austin now, right?” He asks.

I roll my eyes. “Thanks for your opinion, Justin, but I’m fairly certain I didn’t ask for it.”

Justin gasps. “Really Alan?”

I sigh. “I’m sorry, Jus, I just feel like shit, okay? Austin hasn’t even tried to text me or anything; he’s probably going to break up with me.”

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“Well, no.” I sigh. I just wanted to get to class, not awkwardly talking my relationship problems in the hallway.

“Well maybe you should.” Justin suggests. “You two need to be together okay.”

“Why do we need to be together?”

Justin sighs. “You just do.”

I couldn’t deal with this riddley bullshit right now. “I have to get to class.”

“I do, too, but just promise me you’ll talk to him?”

“I was planning on it.” I mumble.

-=-

Class went by too quickly and now I was hungry, so I’d have to go to the cafeteria, where Austin would be. It was bound to be awkward. What if he didn’t want me to sit with him? What if Shayley was there? What if I ran into Bran? What if Austin breaks up with me at lunch?

-=-

Austin was sitting alone at our normal table. He was writing something down quickly, not taking his eyes off the paper, not even to dip his fries in his normal pile of ketchup.

I sighed and walked over; setting my backpack on the chair next to the seat I usually sat in. Austin looks up and sets his pen down. “Hey.” His voice was quiet.

“Hi.” I set my plate of chicken nuggets and French fries down and take a seat across from him.

“I haven’t seen you all weekend.” He folds up his notebook quickly and slides it next to the napkin dispenser.

I nod. “Yeah, I was in my room.”

“I figured.” He sighs.

“Um,” I pick at my fries. “can we talk later?” I ask.

Austin looks down. “Depends, are you going to break up with me?”

I bit my lip. “I wasn’t planning on it.”

-=-

Austin sat on his bed with his legs outstretched, I sat next to the window, facing him, his right thigh pressing against my leg.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble.

Austin shakes his head. “No, I should be sorry. I should’ve told you that Shay and I hooked up over winter break.” Austin grabs my right hand. “You shouldn’t have had to find out from Loniel of all people.”

I sigh. “Why did you hook up with him?”

It’s now Austin’s turn to sigh. “I don’t know, Alan. I wish I had some amazing reason, but I don’t, I was just horny and Shay was willing.”

I bit my lip. “Oh,”

“But as soon as you got back, Alan, I stopped.”

I nod. “But you stayed friends with him?”

“Yeah, I mean, Alan, Shay and I are always going to be friends.” Austin grips my hand tighter. “But that’s it, just friends; I’m with you and only you. I promise.”

I give him a small smile.

“Do you forgive me?” Austin asks hopefully.

I couldn't be mad at Austin for hooking up with Shayley over winter break when I had kissed Bran when we were together. I had no choice but to forgive him. “Yeah,”

Austin’s smile gets bigger and he sits up. “I’m glad because it sucked not seeing you all weekend.” He smirks.

“It was two days.” But even though it was only two days, I missed Austin. No matter what stupid shit he does, he's still party of my life and I care about him.

“Two days too many.”

"Aust---" He leans in and kisses me, his right hand on my neck, slightly massaging. He nibbles slightly at my bottom lip, I open and let him in, his tongue moving against mine as he pulls me on top of him, running his hand from my shoulder to my butt, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Aust—” I mumble into his mouth. I felt him smile and bring his left hand up under my shirt.

Well there goes telling him about Bran.

-=-

Austin had discarded our clothes rather quickly. “Consider this part one of my apology.” Austin whispers in my ear then kisses my cheek, then down my neck, down my chest, and finally stopping and my hips.

He looks up and me before bypassing my dick and moving to my thighs. He plants a small kiss on my right thigh. I gasped a little, much to Austin’s amusement as he looked up at me with his dark sex eyes and nibbled a bit at the skin.

Austin kissed up my thigh.

“Aus---”

I suddenly felt Austin’s breath at my entrance. Oh god. Split seconds later I felt his tongue enter me, slowly moving around.

“tin,” I moan and arch my back a little.

I should be enjoying this; we made up, we’re okay. But I still haven’t told him about Bran. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to anymore. We both made our mistakes, if he could keep his a secret for a while, so could I, right?

He removes his tongue and licks up to my hips, softly biting when he gets to where he wants to place his mark.

Austin looks up. “You okay?” He asks with a smile.

I give him a small smile. “Yeah.”

“Good.” He climbs up a little and opens his drawer and grabs a condom and some lube out.

He tears the package with his teeth and rolls it on, then squirts some lube on his hand. He jacks himself a little then kisses me as he pushes in. I seethe against his neck. “Sorry,” He mumbles into my hair.

“It’s fine.” I bite my lip.

“Can I move?”

I nod. “Yeah,”

He pulls out, then slowly pushes back in, kissing my shoulder as he moves. Slowly in and out; over and over. Finally, it was starting to feel better. “Mm, faster,” I half moan. Austin complies and starts thrusting faster, coming dangerously close to hitting my spot.

Austin spits in his hand grabs my dick, jerking it in time with his thrusts.

“Alan,” He draws out the n, adding an ‘uh’ at the end and kisses me just as he hits my spot. I moaned into the kiss. “Again,” Austin chuckles a bit and slams into me again.

Austin keeps up his pace, hitting me over and over. “I’m close.” Austin informs me, his voice breathy and barely there. He kisses my throat, nipping at it slightly. Austin cums shortly after, moaning my name as he does.

“Austin,” I moan as he pulls out and kisses down my torso, until he gets to my dick, where he takes me into his mouth, sucking and licking until I cum mumbling his name.

-=-

After Austin had spit into his garbage can, he climbed back into bed and pulled me closer to him. “I’m tired.” I mumble into his neck.

He laughs a little. “Me too and it’s only two.”

I sigh and look at his DVD player clock, sure enough it was 2:03, I was convinced it was at least five.

“Want to take a nap?” He asks.

I shake my head. “I have biology homework.” I climb over him and grab my boxer briefs off the floor. I did have biology homework, but I also felt really weird. Like about Bran. It could all be settled by just telling Austin, but I didn’t want to fuck things up again.


	32. thirty two

“You’re shitting me.” Justin sighs from his bed. “You forgave him that quickly, he gave you a rim job, then you had sex, and then you conveniently forgot to tell him that you kissed Bran.”

“I know,” I run my hand through my hair. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, you did.” Justin states bluntly.

“Thanks for making me feel better.”

“Alan, you could’ve avoided this though. You need march your little ginger ass down to his room and tell him.”

“I can’t tell him, Justin.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “Yes you can, grow a pair. Maybe you can use him trying to get into your pants to your advantage, you know, ‘I tried to tell you, but you shoved your tongue in my mouth so that made it difficult to talk’ it could work.”

I bit my lip nervously. “Do you think he’s going to be mad?”

“I would be.”

“Thanks,”

“I mean at least you didn’t fuck him.” Justin stops. “You did only kiss, right?”

I nod. “Yes, I’m not stupid.”

“Well I don’t know about that.” Justin mumbles.

-=-

“Did you get your homework done?” Austin asks as he closes his door behind him.

I nod. “Yeah,”

Austin zips up his hoodie and then grabs my hand. “That’s good.”

I nod. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you okay?” Austin asks me as we head towards the second floor lobby.

I sighed. This would be a perfect time to tell him. “I actually need to tell you something.”

Austin turns and looks at me with a small smile. “What?”

“I, uh,” I couldn’t do it. “I’m glad we’re good.”

Austin’s smile gets bigger. “I’m glad, too.” He leans in and kisses me right where Bran had kissed me on Friday.

I sighed. “Austin, that’s not what I was going to say.”

He looks at me with confusion.

“I mean, I’m glad we’re good, but um there is something bothering me.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out, Alan.”

“Can we go back to your room?” I ask.

He nods. “Of course.”

-=-

“So what’s up?” He asks and leans on his desk.

“Just promise me you won’t freak out.” I sigh.

Austin looks at me. “Okay.”

“So after the party I was walking back to Oak and obviously it was cold, I noticed that Bran’s light was on in the humanities building,” Austin’s face went from confused to mad. “so we talked for a while, then he offered to drive me back to Oak.”

Austin looks at me, studying my face. He was running his tongue across his top set of teeth. “Well that was nice of him.” Austin mumbles bitterly.

I nod. “Yeah I guess.”

“And then what happened Alan? Don’t stop your story there.” Austin asks sarcastically. He knew. He always knows, he knew with Jerry, he knows with Bran.

“He,” I stopped there and wiped my sweaty hands on my jeans.

“He what?”

With a sigh I mumble. “He kissed me.”

Austin is so pissed, I can tell. I’ve only seen this look twice before, when Austin found out I slept with Jerry and when Austin and Jerry got into the fist fight. It killed me that a look that was exclusively saved for Jerry was now being used on me.

Regardless of the look Austin was giving me, I had to tell him everything.

“I kissed him back.”

Austin’s expression changes, from pissed to hurt. “You,” He laughs a little, nervously. “You what?"  
I bit my lip and tried to look anywhere but at Austin.

Austin turns away from me and leans over his desk. I could hear the faint sound of Austin counting. “1, 2, 3, this isn’t your fault, 4, 5," Deep breath. “6, there’s nothing you can do to change it, 7, 8, 9, breathe, 10,” I was honestly taken aback by the whole thing. Sure, at Thanksgiving when he got mad he was counting to control himself, but I didn’t hear him giving himself a little pep talk.

“Aus?” I could barely hear my own voice, he probably couldn’t hear it either. My throat felt like it was closing up.

He doesn’t answer, instead he counts backwards from ten, no motivation talks between numbers, only small, shaky breaths.

“Can you say something?” I manage to choke out when he gets to one.

Austin takes a deep breath and turns around to look at me. The anger look was back, which confused me, I thought counting was supposed to help you get rid of anger. “So, let me clarify this with you.” He starts, leaning against his desk like he was before the counting. “You kissed Bran after you had the audacity to get mad at me for fucking Shayley over winter break, when weren’t together.”

I swallow some saliva so I could talk. “I didn’t know Bran was going to kiss me, Austin.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter!” Austin exclaims. “You still kissed him, I don’t care who kissed who; you kissed him back.”

“I know; I fucked up.”

“I may not tell you everything Alan, but I have never disrespected you like that.” Austin had tears pricking at his eyes.

I stepped forward; I hated seeing him with tears in his eyes. “Austin,” I whisper and attempt to reach out to wipe away the small amount of tears on his face.

“Do not touch me.” Austin pushes my hand away. “I can’t believe you made me think I did something wrong, Alan. I was so fucking worried that I fucked this up.” He quickly pushes his hand across his eyes to get rid of the tears.

“I’m sorry, Austin.” Had I known he was going to act like this, I wouldn’t have told him, honestly.

“I don’t care, just leave, please.” Austin looks at me.

“Austin can I ju—”

“I said leave.” Austin raises his voice over mine.

I could start to feel the tears form in my own eyes now. “Fine.” I wipe my own eyes and walk towards his door. I could hear Austin walk over to his bed and climb onto it. When I reached the door I turned around to see Austin turned away from me, headphones in, scribbling something in that fucking notebook.

I closed the door behind me quietly and made my way down to my room, wiping my eyes with my hoodie sleeves as I went. I suddenly wasn't hungry, I just wanted to jump out of a window.

-=-=-

 

“Alan? I went down to Wal-Mart and got you some ice cream.” Vince holds up a container of vanilla ice cream next to my bed. “I also got sprinkles and chocolate sauce.” I look over at him, forcefully wiping the tears from my face. “Do you want me to make you a bowl?”

I sit up and nod slowly. “Thanks Vince.”

“No problem, Alan. I just hate to see my friend upset.” He gives me a small smile then walks over to where our fridges were and starts moving things around.

-=-

I give Vince a small, confused smile when he climbs up into my bed with two bowls of ice cream. “So what’s wrong?” He asks handing me a bowl.

I look over at him. “It’s nothing.” I take a small spoonful and place it in my mouth.

Vince slightly rolls his eyes. “It’s obviously not 'nothing', Alan. You’ve spent the last four hours crying.”

“It’s been four hours?” That’s kind of embarrassing.

Vince shovels a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth. “Yeah, I mean it started out with just little whimpers and then about three hours ago it turned into a full-fledged sobbing session.” Vince shrugs.

I sigh. “Sorry Vince.”

“Don’t worry about it, we all have those days.” Vince gives me a supportive pat on the shoulder.

-=-

I didn’t go to class the next morning, instead I called the hotel and canceled my reservation. Valentine’s Day was in two days and honestly, it didn’t look like I was going to be spending it with Austin.

“You didn’t go to lunch either?” Vince asks as he closes the door.

“No,” I mumble and finish writing out the definition I was working on. Something Bran had me do for tutoring. Fuck Bran.

“You need to eat something, you can’t survive on the ice cream you had last night.” Vince tells me and walks over to our fridges and opens mine. “Do you want pasta or macaroni and cheese?”

“I’m not really hungry, Vince.”

Vince grabs a boxed dinner out and starts preparing it for the microwave. “Because you’re going through a phase of depression. You need to get out of bed and eat.”

-=-

After Vince nearly force fed me, he made me go on a walk and told me I wasn’t allowed back in the room until three. Two whole hours.

I pulled my jacket closer and headed towards the commons building, that’s when I saw Bran walking towards me, typing something in his phone.

Of all people to show up right now, it had to be him. I looked down and away.

“Alan?” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Hi Bran.” I mumble and stop when he stops.

“You weren’t in class today.” He comments and shoves his phone in his pea coat pocket.

“Yeah,”

Bran looks at me. “Why not?”

“I was too busy crying all night to sleep because I’m pretty sure I got dumped.”

Bran looks kind of confused. “Oh,”

I nod. “Yeah,”

“Was it because of Friday?”

“Mhm,” I mumble and look down at the concrete.

“I’m sorry Alan.” Bran reaches out and touches my left hand. “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.”

“Thanks I guess.” I mumble.

“I’ll see you at tutoring tomorrow, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“Good, you missed quite a bit.” He gives me a small smile then continues walking.

-=-

By the time I made the loop around campus, I had half an hour left until Vince would let me back in the room, and he had made it very clear that I wasn’t allowed in until three.

I decided that I would go see if he was in his room. Maybe Austin had calmed down and would let me talk to him.

I quickly knocked on the door and waited. I could hear someone waking towards the door, but the time it took, I think it might be Austin and not Tino.

I hear some laughter and then the doorknob unlock and the door open.

Instead of Austin, I’m met with Shayley. His hair was disheveled and when he saw me, he got this annoying smirk on his face. I really wanted to smack it off.

“Hello, Alan,” His smirk gets bigger, if that’s possible. “Can I help you?” He asks.

“I’m assuming Austin is here, can I talk to him?” I ask as nicely as I could.

“He’s a little, preoccupied right now.” Shayley smiles.

“Well can he unoccupy himself?”

“I don’t think so, sorry. Maybe come back tomorrow?” Shayley then closes the door in my face and judging by the noise the door made, he locked it.

-=-

“Now when you say disheveled, do you mean sex hair or he took the time to make his hair look that way.” Justin asks as he lights up his cigarette. We were sitting in front of the window on his desk.

I shrug. “His hair is always messy, so I’m not sure.”

Justin sighs. “You’re not helping.”

“I guess it could be considered sex hair.”

“Do you think he and Austin had sex?”

I closed my eyes and took Justin’s cigarette, careful not to allow the smoke to enter the room. “I don’t think so, considering he was so pissed last night.”

“Or maybe decided to get even?” Justin counters as I take a drag.

“Don’t say that.” I sigh.

“Go back over there and demand to talk to him. He’s still your boyfriend; he didn’t break up with you.” Justin takes his cigarette back from me. “Go on,”

-=-

I walked through the door to North and down the hallway to see Shayley emerging from Austin’s room.

“Hey Alan,” He laughs as he passes me and walks out the door.

I really fucking hated him.

I walked towards Austin’s door and knocked lightly.

“Shay did you forget your---” A shirtless Austin looks surprised when it’s me at the door instead of Shayley.

“Not Shayley.” I give him a fake smile. “Can we talk, please?”

Austin nods slowly and opens the door, allowing me to come in.

“Austin,” I lean against Tino’s closet door as Austin closes the room door and locks it.

“What?”

“I’m sorry, okay? I know I fucked everything up and I don’t blame you if you break up with me, but I need you to know that I’m sorry.”

Austin sighs and takes my hand and leads me over to his bed. “Alan,” He sits me down on his bed and he sits on Tino’s.

“What?” I ask, this was going to be it, he was going to break up with me.

“I messed up, too.”

“Huh?”

“I over-reacted, it was only a kiss, you know, and I yelled at you and I was so hurt and Shayley came over---” He blabbers.

“You slept with Shayley?” I cut him off, tears forming.

“What? No, no,” Austin scoots forward on Tino’s bed and wipes under my eyes with his thumbs. “we talked.”

“Then why are you shirtless?” I ask.

Austin smiles a bit. “I was going to get a shower.”

I feel myself smile a little bit, too. “You’re forgiving me, then?” Maybe I shouldn’t have canceled that hotel room.

Austin sighs. “I’m thinking about it.”

“Just thinking?” I ask.

“Leaning towards.” He smiles a little.


	33. thirty three

“Leaning towards?” Justin asks, unlit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. “Either he forgives you or he doesn’t. There’s no in-between.” Justin cups his cigarette from the wind and re-lights it with his kitty lighter that I made him purchase.

I shrug. “I don’t know, Justin. I’m just hoping for the best.”

Justin takes a drag. “Has he kissed you yet?”

I shake my head. “No,”

“Hmm,” Justin hums and takes another drag. “so you’re doing anything for Valentine’s day tomorrow?”

I shake my head again. “Not that I know of.”

“Didn’t you get a hotel room?”

“Canceled the reservation.”

Justin sighs. “Well at least we can be lonely together.”

Yeah, until Andy shows up and whisks you away to fuck you senseless.

-=-

“Hey Vince.”

Vince looks up at me. “Hey, did you already turn in your roommate agreement?”

I nod. “Yeah, just got back.”

“Was it super awkward?”

I shrug. “Not really, you just go in there and hand them the paper, then they give you a ticket.”

“What number are you?”

“Eleven. Justin is ten.”

Vince nods. “Awesome, where are you two living next year?”

“TRAC hopefully.” I tell him and sit at my desk. I wasn’t looking forward to going to tutoring in a few minutes.

“That’s where I’m thinking of going!” Vince informs me.

“Maybe we’ll be suite mates?” It would be kind of awesome to share a bathroom with Vince. At first, I wasn’t sure, but now that I know him, he’s a pretty awesome person.

“That’d be cool.” He smiles.

-=-

“Alan, hey, you’re early.” Bran looks at me from his desk as I close the door.

“Wanted to get this over with.” I mumble and sit across from him.

Bran moves his mouse and adjusts his glasses. “Right, because you hate anthropology.”

“Actually, it’s because you kissed me and this is going to be awkward.” I pull my folder out of my backpack and get my definitions out. “And I hate anthropology.” I hand him the two stapled sheets of paper and sit back in my seat.

Bran rolls his eyes. “You kissed me back.” Bran takes the definitions from me. “What about your worksheets?”

I grab my folder and pull out the two worksheets that Bran had typed up for me. “Because I was hurt and confused.” I shove the papers at him. That was probably a little dramatic, even for me.

“Yeah, okay.” Bran laughs to himself and gets his stupid red pen out and starts going over my worksheets.

“That’s all you’re going to say?” I ask.

“What do you want me to do?” Bran looks up. “Also ‘natives’ has one 't', not two.” Bran flips the paper over and starts looking at the back of the first paper.

“You could apologize.”

“I apologized yesterday.” Bran hands me back my paper. “C work at best.”

“It was hardly heartfelt.” I tell Bran as he moves on to the second paper.

Bran puts the paper down. “I’m sorry for kissing you, I just assumed that you liked me, I mean, you grinded your little ass into me at Bummer’s that one night so I just thought you know, you’d be into it.”  
Bummer’s? Oh. The night Justin made me go to a gay club and I danced with that mysterious boy.

“That was you?”

Bran nods. “Yeah, I gave you my number, I guess you didn’t put it in your phone then, huh?” Bran kind of frowns. I almost felt bad for him.

“I was kind of seeing someone, kind of.” I mumble.

“Kind of?”

“Yeah, I mean we slept together, I only went to Bummer’s because Justin made me.”

Bran nods. “Yeah, well who cares? Now I’m just a creepy twenty three year old grad student who flirts with the guys he tutors.”

“At least you’re not like, fifty.” I give him a small smile.

“At least.” He sighs. “Anyway, this is one is fine. You just need to go over that section again.” He points with his pen to my first paper.

“Got it.”

“Alright, now on to what you missed in class.”

-=-

I woke up the next morning with a huge headache, it didn’t help that it was Valentine’s Day.

“You’re not wearing red or pink.” Vince comments as I walk back into the room. Vince was wearing some weird pink t shirt with a huge, red, anatomically correct heart on it.

“Not really feeling Valentine’s Day.” I shrug and grab my backpack off the ground.

“That sucks.”

“Tell me about it.”

-=-

“How was anthropology?” Austin asks as I set my plate down in front of him. This sucked.

“It was okay, boring as usual and of course she had some dumb powerpoint on love today.”

Austin laughs. “Someone’s bitter.” Because you still haven’t forgiven me yet.

I shrug. “Well, shit happens.” I shove a chicken nugget in my mouth and watch as Austin looks at me weird.

-=-

“You need to come with me to walmart.” Justin tells me and grabs my hand.

“But you were just there yesterday.” I sigh and willingly walk with him.

“Yeah, well, I forgot to get cookie dough. How can I mope about Andy not being here when I don’t have cookie dough to watch the Kardashian True Hollywood Story?”

“Um, eat ice cream maybe?” I suggest.

“Not good enough. I need a bucket of Toll House cookie dough.”

“You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“It’s not like I have anyone to impress.” Justin shrugs. “You’re welcome to join me.”

“No thank you.”

-=-

Justin literally went all around walmart, it was so annoying. All he needed was cookie dough, yet he managed to spend close to forty dollars.

“I’m going back to my room now.”

Justin looks at his phone. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“What is with you today? You’re acting so weird.”

Justin shrugs. “I’m not acting weird.”

“Yeah, you are. You bought a Lego set.” I tell him and lean against my door.

“Well, I have to entertain myself some way. Have fun.” And then he leaves.

I unlock my door and Vince is sitting on his bed, a small, red, gift bag next to him.

“You’re back, finally.” I sighs. “Here,” He holds the bag out to me.

“Um, no offense, Vince, but it’s kind of weird for you to get me something for Valentine’s Day.” I take the bag from him and look at it.

Vince rolls his eyes. “That’s not from me, open it.”

I open the package a little and see a red flashlight. “Who gave you this?” This was so weird, who gives someone a flashlight?

Vince sighs. “Why don’t you look and find out.”

“What?”

“Unscrew the top, Alan.” He mumbles forcefully.

I unscrew the top, even though that sounded like a bad idea. “Now what?”

“Oh my god!” Vince exclaims. “It’s really not that difficult. There’s a note inside.”

I shake the batteries out and see a small piece of pink paper. I pull it out and put the batteries back in. I unfold the note to reveal a note.

_Alan,  
Congratulations, you figured it out! I hope you’re up for a scavenger hunt._

_Clue #1 go back to the first day we met, although my table is no longer there, look closely and you’ll find a chair. Under the cushion will be your second clue, here’s a hint, it’s blue_

This little fucker.

“What is it?” Vince asks.

“Austin’s sending me a fucking scavenger hunt.”

_+_+_+_+_+_+

I sighed and leaned against Vince’s desk. “It says to go to where we first met and to find a blue chair or something.”

“Where did you first meet?”

“The lobby?”

“That’s where you should look then.” Vince rolls his eyes and grabs his backpack.

“Were you in on this?” I ask.

“Yes,” He walks over to the door. “Austin made me stay in here so he had somewhere to put the bag; he also explained what was going on in case you needed help.” Vince opens the door. “But now I’m going over to Shawna’s.”

“Have fun.”

“You too.” He smiles and then leaves.

-=-

There were no blue chairs in the lobby. None, they were all red. I wasn’t about to go and look under every cushion either.

I looked back at the note.

_Clue #1 although my table is no longer there, look closely and you’ll find a chair. Under the cushion will be your second clue, here’s a hint, it’s blue_

His table, where he signed me in. I look at the top tier, there were two chairs in the same area where his table was at the beginning of the year. I chose the one farthest from me and picked the cushion off, nothing. I set the cushion down and went on to the next one. I picked it up and looked under that one, nothing there either. Really, Austin? I looked on the underside of the cushion to be met with a bright blue envelope.

_Clue #2  
You and Justin eavesdropped here. This is also where upperclassmen hide their beer. _

I wish Austin didn’t have to write these in riddles.

When did Justin and I eavesdrop on Austin? Think, Alan, think.

Yeah, this wasn’t happening, so I texted Justin. _do you remember a time we eavesdropped on Austin?_

A few seconds later I got a reply. _uh, maybe the time we overheard him talking to Shay about how he didn’t like you but he actually did like you._

Yes. I remembered now, outside of Rodgers. _Thanks boo_

-=-

When I got over there I saw a small bright green envelope attached to the statue of Evan Rodgers. I grabbed it and opened it.

someone’s getting good at this :)  
 _Clue #3 student affairs has a selection of menus, find the one where we got pizza to get your next clue._

Sending me all over this damn campus and it’s not exactly warm out. I sighed, pulled my jacket closer and headed towards the commons.

-=-

There was a little brochure case outside of student affairs with like four hundred menus. I couldn’t remember the exact name of the pizza place Austin, Tino, Pen, and I went to that one time, and of course with this being a college town, there was like seventy five pizza places. I grabbed the first stack and shook them a little, no notes coming out. I shoved those back and grabbed the second stack, shaking those as well. Third time’s the charm, right? I grabbed the third stack and shook those, a small orange paper came tumbling out.

_clue #4, you’re halfway there.  
Be Brave_

Brave was underlined, like a book title or something. I’m pretty sure that movies could be underlined, too. Red Box.

-=-

On top of the Red Box machine, there was a yellow envelope.

_clue #5  
This is where I broke your other suitor’s nose; find the car with the rose._

 

Austin and Jerry got into a fight in the main parking lot. That's probably what he's referring to.

-=-

There were at least twenty cars in the commons parking lot. The clue was with a rose, most cars didn’t have roses on them.

I wonder if Austin would help me? It was worth a shot. _help me with the rose clue? :)_

I looked at the first couple of cars in the parking lot; there were no roses around them.

_I have no idea what you’re talking about ;)_

I moved down to the next handful of cars, no roses there either.

_just one tiny clue? :D_

_magnet_

Wow that helped so much Austin. I rolled my eyes and continued down the row of cars.

-=-

Of course the fifth to last car I would look at had a rose magnet on the back of it with a blue paper sticking out of it.

_clue #6_  
Two more left.  
The first day we met, your mommy asked you a question, I was standing in the door. That’s where you’ll find clue number seven. 

This whole thing required too much thinking.

_“Honey, do you want your underwear in the top drawer like you have it at home?” I look up at the door and see Austin standing there, trying not to laugh._

My underwear drawer. What a little creep, I bet Vince let him in.

-=-

I was feeling a bit winded. It was starting to get dark and I didn’t want to be out around campus in the dark or in the cold. Hopefully the last couple of clues were inside.

I unlocked my door and stepped in, leaving it open, I would be leaving soon anyway. I walked over to my dresser and pulled my underwear drawer out. Of course it wasn’t on the top because that would be easy. I took out each pair, feeling to make sure there wasn’t a card folded into them. Then I found it, folded into the ‘sexy’ teal pair Justin made me buy, also the pair I wore when I fucked up that romantic night I had planned.

_clue #7_  
The place where we cuddle most….  
Ps bring your flashlight 

Austin’s bed. I grabbed the flashlight off Vince’s desk and head to Austin’s room.

-=-

I tried the handle on Austin’s door to see that it was unlocked; I opened it slowly just in case Tino was having sex with Penelope.

There was no one in his room. I flipped the light switch and walked over to Austin’s bed. There was a light pink envelope laying on his pillow with ‘Alan’ written on it with his large, swoopy handwriting.

I smiled as I picked it up and sat on his bed to open it. I was tired after walking all over this campus, but I didn’t really mind.

I pulled the card out. It was an obviously handmade card, a simple, red, lopsided heart cut out of construction paper with the words I forgive you. written on it in silver marker. I wanted to cry. He forgave me, he was back to being mine.

But I wasn’t sure how this was the last clue. Austin wasn’t in here. I grabbed the envelope and looked inside it, nothing. Where could he have put it? Under his bed? No, that would be stupid and there’s probably gross things under there. I grabbed the card again and flipped it over, a small yellow post it was on the back.

_clue #8_  
….I’m really sorry that you’re afraid of ghosts.  
There’s a map on my desk. Good luck ;) 

I walked over to his desk, placing the card in the envelope as I went.

I picked it up and scanned over it. It was poorly drawn, but Austin wasn’t exactly an artist. Kind of ironic considering one of his majors has to do with art. It was a map to the tenth floor. The one that Austin told me was haunted.

-=-

I was on the dead tenth floor. No one around, just creepy darkness. I turned my flashlight on and headed in the direction the map told me.

I shined my flashlight down the hall and saw some reflection on the ground. I walked closer and saw it was an arrow made out of shiny duct tape. I shined my light again to see that there was one every two feet or so going down the entire hallway.

I followed the arrows to the small maintenance room and climbed the ladder. I swear if Austin wasn’t up here, I was going to be so pissed.

_+_+_+_+_+


	34. thirty four

“Austin?” I call out once I get to the top of the roof.

Nothing.

“Austin?” I call out again and walk towards where the small party was held towards the beginning of the year.

“No ghosts got you?” Austin asks when he appears from behind one of the huge spinny things on the roof. I had no idea what is what called, but that’s what it does. It spins.

“Thankfully no, I guess your pathway of shiny tape scared them off.” I smile and walk towards him.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you didn’t get lost.” He laughs and pulls me into a hug when we get close enough to each other. For it being so cold on the room in the middle of February, Austin was warm. He was wearing a dark letterman looking jacket; it was open with a black hoodie under it, his usual black jeans with holes in the knees and a dark blue and black stripped scarf. And of course that stupid beanie. Winter wear really suited him.

“I didn’t.” I mumble into his shoulder.

“Good.” Austin pulls back from the hug and smiles. “I’d be pretty upset if you did.” He grabs my hand and looks at me. “I thought we could talk and then eat? I made you dinner.” Pretty sure I don’t deserve someone as sweet as Austin.

“That sounds good.” I smile and let him lead me over by the spinny thing.

Behind the spinny thing was a romantic set up. There was a blanket lying on the ground with a couple of flameless candles around it, another couple of folded blankets off to the side next to one of those bags that is supposed to keep hot things hot and cold things cold. His backpack was also laying there but i didn’t really care.

“Austin….” I breathe as we sit down. Austin sitting with his legs straight out, me sitting Indian style with my left knee up against his right knee.

Austin smiles and takes my hand in his again, lacing our fingers together. “I want to talk about us, though.”

I nod. “Yeah,” I was kind of nervous, even though Austin had said he’d forgiven me, he could’ve changed his mind. That was a stupid thought, but it still concerned me.

Austin nods and scoots closer. “Obviously I told you that I forgave you,” Austin starts, looking into my eyes. “and I do, but I think there’s some things we should talk about before we go into this again.” He stops for me to say something, but I just nod. “Basically, I just,” he stops to think, “I just want us to be honest with each other. No more of this being afraid to tell each other stuff, okay? From now on we tell each other things, no matter how difficult and hurtful that might be.”

“So if I think your shirt is ugly I have to tell you?” I ask.

Austin sighs. “That’s not what I meant.”

I smile. “I know, Austin, I was messing with you.”

Austin smiles a little. “Anyway, I meant like if your tutor happens to kiss you or if my ex-boyfriend tries to make a move. Serious stuff, Alan.”

“I know, and I agree. It’s not much of a relationship if we’re not honest with each other.”

Austin nods. “So we’re good now, right?”

I nod and smile. “Yeah.”

Austin leans lets go of my hand and kisses me softly for a few seconds before pulling back. “You want to eat now?”

I shake my head. “No, I want to kiss you more.” I answer honestly and then lean in and kiss him hard on the lips and straddle his thighs. It had only been a couple of days since he had kissed me, but I missed him so much. His skin, his lips, his hands, his everything.

After Austin gets over his shock, his hands wrapped around my waist as he started to kiss back. I pulled away from his lips and pulled his scarf off and toss it aside. “Now I’m going to be cold.” Austin whines. I attach my lips to his geisha tattoo, kissing his neck as I grind my hips against his slightly. “Alan.” Austin breathes. I nibble a little before kissing up his neck to his cheek to his lips. Austin slides his hands under my shirt and jacket and rubs softly as I nibble as his bottom lip. Austin lets me in and our tongues mix together, feeling the insides of each other’s mouths. I push Austin back on the blanket after taking his letterman jacket off. Austin unzips my hoodie and pushes it away from me the best he could. I unattached our lips and took it all the way off, discarding it where Austin’s jacket and scarf lay.  
Austin’s fingers push up under my shirt, rubbing my tummy slightly. “You should probably take this off, too.” Austin tells me and pushes it up a little bit. “It’s going to have to come off anyway.” I smile and pull my t shirt over my head and toss it aside, then lean down and kiss Austin. “What about you? If I’m freezing, you’re going to freeze with me.” I climb off Austin so he could get out from under me. He does and then pulls his hoodie and shirt off. “Better?” He asks and pushes me down on the blanket. This was chilly, I can only imagine how cold it is without the blanket down. I nod as he gets on top of me, arms on either side holding him up.

Austin kisses me and starts grinding his hips against mine. Yeah, we were going to have sex on this roof. I didn’t care who saw or heard or found out. This was going to happen. I run my hand down his chest as he continues to kiss me. I let my fingers find their way into his waistband, sliding them in as far as they would go. I felt Austin smile into our kiss, I took this as a sign from him to let my fingers snake their way to fly and pop the button and pull the zipper down, so I did. “Alan,” Austin pulls back.

“What?” I ask as I push his pants down a little.

“We’re on the roof we can’t do this.” Austin closes his eyes and bites his lip.

I push his jeans down a little more. “Yes we can.” I lean up and kiss him then lay back down.

“You’re right, we can.” He smiles and allows me to push his pants as far as I can, then Austin takes over and pushes them down to his ankles and kicks them off one leg at a time. It was kind of awkward, but at this point it was worth it. Austin places his hand on my forehead and pushes my bangs back and kisses me, not allowing me the chance to bar him entrance into my mouth, instead he just shoves his tongue in. But again, I don’t mind. I quite like having Austin’s tongue in my mouth. Austin slides his hand from my forehead to my cheek, cupping it for a few seconds before sliding his hand down my chest, then moving agonizingly slow to my jeans. “Austin,” I mumble into his mouth. Austin smiles and pops the button and pulls the zipper down.

“Lift your hips.” He commands into my mouth.

I oblige and lift my hips, Austin slides my jeans and boxer briefs down using his one hand.

“It’s cold.” I sigh as Austin moves from my lips to my neck, biting down rather quickly.

“Shh,” He whispers against my neck, then presses a kiss to it.

“Take your underwear off, I’d like to have sex before I freeze to death.”

Austin sits up on my hips. “Okay, okay.” He crawls over to his backpack and gets out a condom and some lube.

“Finally.” I mumble as Austin returns me, setting his newly acquired items next to me. He slides his underwear off and throws them aside.

Austin rolls his eyes and grabs this lube, squirting some on figures after he opens it. He positions himself and leans down and kisses me as he slides two fingers in, moving them slowly. I closed my eyes and moved against Austin’s fingers.

“Are you ready?” Austin asks quietly against my hair.

“Yeah,”

Austin takes his fingers out and opens the condom with his teeth, then slides it on. “Okay?”

I nod. Austin kisses me and pushes in slowly. He exhales against my lips. “Fuck.”

Austin pulls out a little and pushes back in, slowly at first but then goes quicker with each thrust. In and out, in and out. It felt so good I could hardly take it. Austin reaches down to my dick and starts jerking it slowly to tease me. “Aust-Austin,” I moan out as he kisses at my neck, obviously planning to mark his territory. I wanted to be marked. I wouldn’t care if Austin left marks all over my body. He starts to pick his pace, jerking and thrusting in time with each other.

Austin continues thrusting and removes his lips from my neck and lines his face up with mine. Lining his face up with mine. “Open your eyes.” Austin breathes.

I slowly opened them saw Austin’s half smile/half pleasure face. I was getting so close and that was about to send me over the edge, honestly.

“You look like you’re close.” Austin manages to get out in-between pants.

“I am.” I confess.

I moan and arch a little as he jerks quicker. “Austin,”

“Hm?”

“I’m,”

Austin thrusts harder.

“Austin!” I moan and cum on his chest. Austin continues to move himself in and out until he cums as well.

-=-

“You want to eat dinner now?” Austin asks. His head was on my chest, our fingers entwined, my free hand lightly rubbing his back.

“Honestly, I’m pretty tired.” I sigh and Austin laughs. “Me too, but I slaved over a hot stove for an hour making you spaghetti and it’s probably getting cold.”

I smile even though he couldn’t see it. “I guess we could eat then, I am getting pretty cold even though I have a cute blanket.”

_+_+_+_+

Austin and I were curled up in his bed. I tried to convince him to let us sleep on the roof, but he wasn’t having it. So after packed everything up and removed the shiny tape on the ground, we headed back to his room.

“Did you ever think about Spring Break?” Austin asks and I rub my face on his t shirt.

“Not really.” I had, well, kind of.

“Oh,” He stops rubbing my back and rests his hand near the small of my back.

“What?”

“It’s just coming up and I need to let Phil know, you know?”

I move and look up at him. “It’s just, Shayley’s going to be there and I’m not sure if I’m comfortable with that.”

Austin nods. “I understand, I mean, I wouldn’t want to spend spring break with Jerry.” Austin sniffles a little.

I decided to just ignore the Jerry comment, no use in arguing when I’ve had a pretty much perfect day. “I do want to spend spring break with you, though, so if you want to go to Virginia, I’ll come with you.”

Austin shrugs. “I mean, we go to Virginia every year, I kind of want to do something different.” Austin tells me. “Where do you want to go?”

“Honestly? Home.” I rest my chin on Austin’s chest and look up at him.

“California?” Austin asks, sounding interested.

“Yeah, I mean, I miss Mittens a whole lot and my parents are going to be gone that week on some weird cruise, we’d have my house to ourselves,” I stopped to think, Austin likes the ocean, his sleeve was full of waves and sea creatures. “We could go to the beach and eat burritos, stay up as late as we want…” I smile at him.

Austin smiles a little. “Are you in elementary school? You can stay up as late as you want now.” He chuckles slightly. “But, I’m down with spending a whole week in California with my favorite redhead.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll ask my mom then, she probably won’t care.”

-=-

As always, Austin complained about my alarm on my phone going off. You’d think by now he would be used to it, but apparently not.

“Can we skip class today?” I ask Austin as I lay on top of him.

Austin sighs. “No, Alan, I’m getting information for my paper and you’ve already missed class this week.”

I frown a little. “Please?”

“Come on, you have twenty minutes to get ready and get to class.”

-=-

Biology was boring, I had already done all of the stuff we were going over perfectly. So I decided to text my mom about Austin and me possibly coming to California for Spring break.

_I have a question…_

With my mom, it’s always best to start out making it seem like something bad happened, that way she’s more likely to say yes when she finds out everything is okay.

_What dear?_

Well that didn’t go as expected.

_So spring break, I know I told you I was maybe thinking of going to Virginia with Austin and his friends…_

_but now you want to go somewhere else?_

I smiled. She always knows.

_well I was wondering if Austin and I could come home to California? I mean essentially it would be cheaper because we would just be staying at the house and we wouldn’t need to get a hotel. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MOM PLEASE._

“Alright so if you have any questions, come see me, if not, you all are free to go.” My professor announced. “Have a good weekend.”

I closed my notebook and shoved it in my notebook. I saw my phone light up so I grabbed it.

_let me talk to your father. I’ll let you know._

This was going to be a good spring break.

-=-

“So how was your Valentine’s Day?” Justin asks with a smirk as we walk over to the commons building.

“We had sex on a roof so I would say it was pretty unbeatable.” I smile.

Justin sighs. “Well I’m glad one of us had a good time.”

“What did you do?”

“Ate cookie dough and masturbated.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shut up, Alan.”

I didn’t want to say anything, because I might ruin the surprise. “Sorry.” I mumbled.

-=-

“Are you going to ignore me now that Austin’s here?” Justin asks and stabs his broccoli.

“Um no?” I tell him and peel a piece of a sausage off my pizza and pop it into my mouth. “He’ll probably be talking about something boring he learned in class so if I’ll be ignoring anyone, it’ll be him.”

“You’re such a good boyfriend, Alan.” Justin mumbles. “I’m going to get like eight hundred cookies because I have no one to impress.” He sighs dramatically and gets up just when Austin was making his way to our table.

“Did I miss something?” Austin asks and sets his backpack down next to mine.

“He’s upset because he thinks Andy is ignoring him or something. I don’t know.”

Austin shrugs and leans down and kisses me quickly. “It’s going to be really adorable when he pukes into Andy’s mouth later.” Austin mumbles and walks off to get his food.

“You weren’t joking were you?” I ask as Justin returns with a plate of cookies.

“Shut up.”

“Anyway,” I roll my eyes. “You want to come over here to dinner with me later? Around five to be exact.”

Justin looks at me weird. “I mean, I guess I can. Why?”

“I just have a feeling I’ll be hungry then, and I saw the menu for tonight and it looks really good.” Translation: Andy was meeting us at commons and this was the only way I could get Justin over here without telling him.

“Right,” Justin nibbles at his cookie. “I guess that’s fine.”

“Good.” I smile as Austin walks over with his burger and fries.

“Justin did your parents not teach you about nutrition?” Austin asks looking at Justin’s cookies.

“Fuck off.” Justin mumbles.

-=-

“He needs to get laid.” Austin tells me as I close his door. Justin had moped his way through lunch and the whole way back to Oak.

“It’s your fault.” I set my backpack on his desk and climb onto his bed.

Austin removes my backpack and sets his own on the desk, then sits in his chair. “How is it my fault?”

“You introduced them.” I state and kick my shoes off.

Austin sighs. “That’s true, isn’t it?” He spins around in his chair and starts unpacking his backpack. “But he’s going to see him today, so it’ll be fine.”

“What are you doing?”

“I have to outline my paper that’s due Wednesday.” He shrugs.

“Um, what am I supposed to do?”

“Watch TV?” Austin suggests. “Or go back to your room?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No of course not.” Austin turns back around to face me. “I want you to stay." He stops for a moment. "If you’re going to behave.”

“And what is your definition of behaving?” I ask. I was going to get away with as much as I could.

“Pretty much sitting there and not talking, watching TV at a low volume.”

I sighed. “Fine, but I’m only doing this so you can do your paper and then I can take you to the movies.”

“You’re taking me out?” He smiles.

“Um yeah, it’s the Friday after Valentine’s Day.” I shrug. “I figured we could be cliché and go see that stupid Warm Bodies movie with all of the other edgy couples on campus.”

Austin laughs. “That sounds amazing.”

I get up and grab my backpack. “I also made you something, you know, since we’re being so cliché right now.” Truth is, I couldn’t get to the store to buy him a card and people usually like homemade things better, right? Well my mom does, so Austin might, too.

Austin smiles. “What is it?”

I pull out my folder and get the card out for him. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I give him a small smile and hand it to him.

“Are we cats?” He laughs and looks at the front where my crappy crayon drawing of Austin and I as cats was.

I nod. “I didn’t know what else to draw.” I bite my lip nervously.

“That’s so cute, Alan.” He smiles. “I like how cat you is telling cat me that I’m super cute.”

“Well, cats don’t lie, Austin.” I tell him as he opens the card and reads the message I tried to write as neatly as I could.

It was dumb honestly, a tiny paragraph telling him how much he meant to me in carefully chosen words to not sound too needy and attached. But it was there, written in purple crayon in my messy handwriting.

Austin finished reading it and got out of his chair, setting the card on his desk. He leans in and kisses me softly. “This paper can wait, let’s cuddle.”

-=-

It turns out what Austin meant by ‘cuddling’ actually meant sex, but hey, I wasn’t complaining.

“What time do we need to get fetch Justin?” Austin asks sleepily. He better make it through this whole date I have planned because I’m not watching this movie by myself while he sleeps.

I straddle his hips. “Five? So we have just enough time to go again.” I smile and kiss him.

“Why are you always so horny?” He asks against my lips.

“I don’t know, because I’m eighteen?” I kiss him again and start rolling my hips slightly.

And then of course, there’s a knock on the door.

“You’re getting it.” Austin smiles when I pull back.

“It’s your room.” I give him an equally annoyed smile.

“But you’re on top.”

“But what if the person at your door is in the middle of a crisis?”

There was another knock.

Austin sighs and I get off him. “You win this time.” He grabs his boxer briefs off the floor and slides them on, then grabs his jeans and does the same. I just get further into his blankets. He walks over to the door and unlocks it, then opens it. “Are you shitting me? Really Justin?”

“Well I was right.” I mumble.

“Sorry, I was just so bored.” Justin sighs and walks in where I can see him. “So this is your room, Austin? It’s…different. I mean, Phil’s room is so cool and then yours is…not.”

“Wow, thank you, Justin.” Austin's voice was dripping with sarcasm as he walks by Justin and grabs my underwear off the ground and throws it at me.

“Were you two having sex? Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’ll leave.”

“No, it’s okay, you’ve already ruined it.” Austin sighs and sits on his chair. “You can sit at Tino’s desk, if you want.”

I slide my underwear on under the blanket and look at Justin. “It’s almost time to go to dinner though.” And almost time for me to take my boyfriend out.


	35. thirty five

“What are they having that’s so good tonight?” Justin asks as we head over to the commons building.

Think. “Uh, corn.”

Austin gives me a weird look, then turns away shaking his head.

“Corn?” Justin asks. “That’s interesting.”

“Yeah, they season it differently. It’s good.” I shrug and lie. I hated their corn. It tasted like shit.

Justin sighs. “I hate Valentine’s Day, it’s so pointless, you know—”

Austin looks over and me and then signals with his head to tell that Andy was awkwardly standing next to one of the doors.

“---I mean wow you have a boyfriend that must be so great.” Justin continues. “I mean I had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day once, wasn’t that great! He just got drunk and we had sex. Wow so romantic. Please. I could take a shit and it’d be more romantic.”

Austin bites his lip to keep from laughing.

“Justin---” Andy steps forward.

Justin stops rambling and looks up. “Andy?” He quietly asks, unsure if he’s awake.

Andy smiles and pulls Justin into a hug. I could tell from where Austin and I were standing that it wasn’t very tight, probably because they were both about to piss themselves with excitement. I could hear Andy mumble something, but I couldn’t make it out, and I could hear the faint sounds of what sounded like Justin crying, just a little though.

I couldn’t help but smile. It made me happy to know that my best friend was so happy. That he could go from literally comparing romance to taking a dump to crying because he’s in Andy’s arms. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it.

-=-

“So I guess I get to drive us to our date?” Austin asks after Andy and Justin ran to Andy’s car. Apparently Andy had gotten a hotel down the street and they were going to ‘hang out’ and then go to dinner. And we all know what they mean by 'hang out', they were going to do have some kind of sex.

I look up at him and smile. “Well I don’t have a car.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute, you know that? Because making the person you’re taking on a date drive is really embarrassing. Almost as embarrassing as having a parent drive.”

I grab his hand and pull on it a couple of times to get him to start walking. “We could just walk.” I suggest.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Austin gives me a small smile and starts swinging our arms dramatically.  
I go along with it, just because he looked like he was having a grand old time.

-=-

“You drive like an old woman.” Austin comments as I attempt to park his car. He had made me drive and then refused to allow me to park where I wanted to, away from every other car in the lot so I wouldn’t risk hitting someone.

“Your car is very difficult to drive, thank you very much.” I park the car and take the keys out.

“I can already tell right now that you’re crooked.” Austin comments and opens the door. “And I was right.”

“Austin I think we both know that nothing I do is going to be perfectly straight.” I sigh and get out of the car as well. “Besides, someone can still park next to us.” I shove the keys in his hand and wait for him to start walking towards the entrance.

Austin looks at the car, then his keys, then at the movie theatre. “Maybe I should straighten it out.”

“We only have thirty minutes, Aus, and I want to get a seat in the back.”

“You go in and buy the tickets, I’ll fix the car.” He gives me a small smile and walks around to the driver’s side.

“Fine.” I sigh and make my way towards the door.

-=-

Surprisingly, there wasn’t much of a line. I guess people were going to the movies after dinner. That was fine with me though. There’s nothing more annoying than having to sit in a theatre with a bunch of talking teenagers.

“Can I help you?” The obviously bored teenager asks from behind the desk.

“Can I get two tickets to see _Warm Bodies_? The 6:25 showing.”

The girl nods and punches something into her computer. “That’ll be $17.”

I hand her my credit card and wait until she hands me my card back, the two tickets and a receipt to sign.

“Thanks, enjoy your show.” She mumbles and takes the receipt back.

“Have a nice rest of your shift.” I mumble back and head over to the concession stand.

-=-

“Hey, sorry, that was a tricky spot.” Austin says when he comes inside. “You get the tickets?”

I nod. “You want to get the date combo?” I ask.

Austin shrugs. “That’s fine; just don’t slobber all of the straw.”

“I don’t slobber.” I roll my eyes as we step up.

“You sometimes drool in your sleep.” Austin informs me.

“I do not.”

“You do too.” Austin laughs. “It doesn’t bother me, though.”

“Why haven’t you told me before now?”

Austin shrugs. “Just haven’t.”

-=-

“Wow this movie is probably going to blow.” Austin mumbles and follows me up to the back room. “There’s like three people in here.”

“It doesn’t start for twenty minutes.” I inform him and pick a seat.

“Oh, no, middle.” Austin walks past me and sits dead center. So he was one of those people. The last time we had gone to the movies, we got there late so we were stuck with sort of shitty seats.

I sigh and move next to him. “Is this better?”

“Well, honestly, the best seats are halfway down in the middle, because you can hear everything, but this will suffice.”

I take a couple pieces of popcorn and pop them in my mouth. “Good, because I’m not moving again.”

-=-

Austin leans over just when that really cute zombie boy that annoying blonde Kristen Stewart lookalike start to become friends. “This movie literally sucks worse than Brave.” Austin whispers.

“I don’t think it’s that bad.” I whisper back.

Austin sighs and directs his attention back to the movie. I set the popcorn bag down on the ground; Austin doesn’t look at me, surprisingly. He just keeps his attention on the movie. I slide my hand across the armrest and into his lap. Austin still doesn’t look at me; instead he puts his elbow on the armrest and rests his head on his fist. I roll my eyes and move my hand up to his crotch area and start rubbing lightly. Austin looks over. “What are you doing?” He asks in a hushed tone.

I shrug and continue rubbing.

Austin bites his lip and tries not to focus on what I was doing. But he was; I could feel him. I push down a little harder while rubbing, getting Austin to let a tiny sigh escape his lips. I moved my hand up to the button of his jeans and popped it after a few tries, then I pulled his zipper down. Austin looks over at me, confused.

I didn’t want him to be bored, this date was supposed to be entertaining for both of us, right? I climbed out of my seat and onto the floor.

“Alan?” Austin asks as forcefully as he could without being loud. I was suddenly glad that everyone in here was at least five rows in front of us. “What are you doing?” I position myself in between his legs and smile at him. “You’re going to get us thrown out.” He mumbles as I pull his pants down a little.

“If you’d be quiet, it’d be okay.” Inform him and pull his underwear down, only enough for me to get his dick out.

“Are you crazy?”

“Maybe.” I lick the underside of his dick slowly, looking up at Austin who has a look of confusion and pleasure on his face.

“Alan, this isn’t the pla…” He trails off when I take the tip into my mouth, sucking just a little. He sighs and moves a little, embracing defeat. He knows just as well as I do that he’s not going to let me stop now. I bring my right hand up and grab the base; holding him in place while I move my lips down. “Alan…” Austin’s hand manages to find its way to my hair, his fingers intertwining in it. I swirl my tongue around his tip, then continue to bob my head.

This should be really gross, giving my boyfriend head in a movie theatre with a bunch of high school students. But honestly, it was kind of hot. Austin had to stop himself from making any noise so in frustration he had a tight grip on my hair. Sometimes he would release his grip a little, then grab it back almost right after letting it go.

Austin whimpers a little and I know he’s close. I keep sucking until Austin cums, his hand tightly pulling my hair. I lick him clean and then get into my seat, trying to figure out what I had missed. From what I gather, it wasn’t much.

-=-

“You’re insane.” Austin grabs my hand and leads me out of the theatre, pulling me past the garbage can so I couldn’t even throw our empty cup away.

“Pretty sure you enjoyed it.”

“Of course I did.” Austin sighs as we exit into main lobby. “I just never would’ve expected you to do something like that.”

I roll my eyes. “Me either.” I throw the cup away as we another pass a garbage can. “You want to get some actual food?”

Austin nods. “Yeah, I’ll drive.”

“Good because I hate your car.”

-=-

We ended up going to a small, fifties replica diner a little ways down the road.

“I’m so tired, Alan.” Austin sighs as he slides into the booth.

“You’re not going to sleep when we get back to the dorm are you?” I ask and look over the menu. I really hope he wasn’t, I honestly didn’t want to stop being with him yet.

Austin shrugs. “I might try to work on my paper a little bit.”

I nod. “Oh,”

“What?” He asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me.” Austin sighs.

“I just…” I sit back a little in my booth. “wanted to hang out more.”

Austin smiles a little bit. “We can still hang out, Alan, you’ll just have to sit there and keep your hands to yourself.” Austin goes back to reading his menu. “and your mouth.”

-=-=-

“How was your weekend with Andy?” I ask. Austin had some weird meeting during lunch, leaving Justin and I to eat by ourselves.

Justin smiles. “It was amazing. He got a room at that hotel that you and Austin were supposed to go to and we pretty much stayed in bed all weekend, well and we went swimming because the hotel has a heated pool, so we went down there at like four in the morning and made out in the pool and he got us room service. It was perfect.”

“I’m glad you had such an amazing weekend.”

“It gets better.” Justin stops to take a bite of his burrito.

“Well don’t just shove your face, tell me.”

“He asked me to be his boyfriend!” Justin kind of flails while he has a piece of lettuce in his mouth. If only Andy could see him now.

“Really?” I was super excited for him, it was about time. Justin’s pretty much been in love with him since I showed him Andy’s Facebook page.

“Yes, it was perfect, I may have cried.” Justin smiles and sucks the bite of lettuce in his mouth.

I smiled. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks, Alan.” Justin moves his drink. “Sorry I was such an asshole.”

I shrug. “It’s okay, Jus.”

“How was your weekend?”

“It was good, Austin and I went to the movies Friday and on Saturday we did our homework together and then yesterday we watched a couple of seasons of The Office. Not as exciting as your weekend.” I shrug. I decided to leave the whole movie theatre thing out, at least for now because we were in the cafeteria.

“That sounds like fun.” Justin takes another bite of his burrito. “Where is he, anyway?”

“He had to go see his advisor about an internship or something.” I sigh.

“That sounds…fun.”

-=-

_I’ve talked to you father, he said that you and Austin coming home for the week is fine, as long as you don’t burn the house down lol_

I don’t think there’s anything worse than your mom texting you and using ‘lol’ it makes everything a little awkward.

_But I want you to guys to leave the eighth, because your dad and I are leaving the ninth and we want to have dinner and get to know Austin a little bit._

This was going to be terrible, I could feel it now.

_I know you’re going to freak out, but it’s just dinner and maybe getting some ice cream, I know you like ice cream. I’ll try not to embarrass you lol :) see you soon, baby. I love you._

I could handle dinner and ice cream with her and dad for a full week with Austin.

_That sounds good, I’ll let Austin know next time I see him. I love you too._

-=-

“You preparing for the apocalypse?” Austin asks Vince after he closes my door and walks over to bed.

“What?” Vince asks while he looks at Austin, confused.

“It’s nothing, Vince; just go back to your game.” Austin grabs the metal part of my bed and leans against it.

“Hi, I’m trying to study.” I look at Austin; his shirt was kind of riding up a little, showing the waistband of his boxer briefs. Why did he do these things to me?

“I’ll leave then.” Austin stays in his same position and continues to look at me.

I squint my eyes, he wasn’t going to leave. I close my notebook, then shove it inside my book so I wouldn’t lose my place. “How was your meeting?” I ask, holding back a yawn.

He smiles. “It was awesome, I got placed.”

“That’s good?” I had no idea what he was even talking about. The only reason why I knew what the word ‘intern’ meant was because I used to watch The Devil Wears Prada with Natalie all the time.

“Yeah it’s good. It’s super hard to get an internship in DC at a museum, but I got one.” He smiles.

“Washington, D.C.?” I ask as he lets go of the bars and stands up straight.

He nods. “Yeah,”

“Oh, when are you going there?”

“This summer!” His smile gets bigger, if that’s possible. “And I get to live in this apartment a block away from the museum, I get my college credit thing for work experience, and I get paid. This is awesome, Alan!”

I was kind of shocked, I mean, I knew he was applying for them and I knew he would get one because Austin is so smart and involved, I just didn’t think it would be so far away. “I’m happy for you!” And I was happy for him, I wasn’t exactly sure how this would work during the summer, but I wasn’t going to ask him about that now and ruin his mood.

I get out of my chair and walk over to him. “I’m proud of you.” I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him closer to me.

“Thanks Alan.” I could hear the smile in his voice. He pulls back and kisses me. “Tino insists that we go out, you want to come?”

“Yeah,” I smile. “Biology can wait.”

-=-

“You want a beer or something?” Austin asks after our waitress leaves.

“Well I don’t feel like puking so no, thanks though.”

“I always forget, sorry.” He gives me a small smile.

“It’s fine, I’d rather you not picture me puking, it works out.”

“And now that image is burned into my brain.” Austin laughs as Penelope looks like she might just puke herself. “That’s not really appropriate table talk.” She murmurs then goes back to talking to Aaron’s girlfriend.

Tino rolls his eyes. “Anyway, Austin, what museum are you even working at?”

Austin shrugs. “It’s just a little art museum just outside the mall.”

“That’s awesome, making your way in the world.” Tino laughs.

Austin nods. “I’m pretty excited, I mean it’s perfect you know?”

-=-

“No offense, Alan, but did you really expect to be with him all the time during the summer?” Justin asks from his desk.

I sighed and fell over onto his pillows, so my head was near him. “I mean, I expected us to visit.”

Justin sighs. “It hasn’t even happened yet, I’m sure you two will talk about it. Just don’t say anything until he brings it up.”

I let another sigh come out as I propped myself on his pillows, lying on my stomach. “Are you really letting Andy listen to our conversation right now?” I look at Justin’s desk, his MacBook open to a chat with Andy.

Andy snickers a little, his nose scrunching up a little when he does. “Maybe you could visit him in D.C.; that could be fun.” Andy suggests.

The last place on earth I would want to go is Washington, D.C., if we’re being honest, even if Austin was there. There’s nothing in D.C. except museums and politicians. I’m not exactly fond of either.

“Maybe.” I sigh and bury my head further into Justin’s pillow. Just when things were starting to go good, they had to get bad again.

-=-

Austin was walking me to my anthropology class since his class for the day was canceled. He gets all of the luck.

“I forgot to tell you that my mom said we could stay at the house for spring break.”

“Really?” Austin asks excitedly.

I nod. “We just have to get there on the eighth because she and my dad want to have dinner.”

“I’m meeting your parents?” Austin suddenly didn’t sound so excited.

I sigh. “You’ve met them before.”

“Um, not really though, I said hello to them. This is dinner where I have to have a conversation.” I could feel his hand start to get a little clammy. “I’m just not good with parents, other than my own.”

“You’ll be fine, my mom is a little crazy, but at least it’s only a couple of hours.”

I look up to Austin who nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know, you just made me super nervous.”

Great. “Austin, I felt the same way when I met your dad.”

“You were nervous? We weren’t even together then.”

“So? I still had a major crush on you and it was your dad. It was super awkward. If I can get through it, so can you.”


	36. thirty six

It was dinner time and I haven’t see Austin all day. He’s only texted me twice; the first time to remind me to get our tickets for Spring Break, which I did, but I wasn’t sure if he was going to be happy about it, and the second time to tell me that he was in fact still alive.

Personally, I think he takes this class way too seriously, I mean yeah, this paper is a huge part of his grade, but at the same time that doesn’t mean you need to lock yourself in your room. All he has to do is revise it a little and he’s going insane. He probably hasn’t eaten or taken a break since he started after class. So, I was going to go make him take a break, since I’m a good boyfriend.

I knocked on his door and waited. “Austin.” I knocked again.

I could hear his rolly chair move and then faint footsteps come to the door.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asks after he opens the door.

“Just checking on you.” I smile.

Austin smiles a little. “Why do you think I need you to check on me?” He signals for me to come in and I’m shocked. His computer was opened on his desk, there was notebook paper crumbled into balls everywhere on his floor, even though his garbage can is right next to his desk, there was pens all over the place, and a couple of Monster cans littering the floor and his desk.

And that is why I need to check on you.

“What the hell happened in here?” I ask.

“I um, kind of got a little into writing my paper.” Austin sits back down in his chair.

“Have you even taken a break?”

He shakes his head. “Alan this paper is worth 30% of my grade it has to be perfect.”

“Austin.” I sigh and walk over to him. “Have you eaten?”

He nods his head slowly. “Um, yeah.”

“What did you eat?” I knew he was lying.

“Candy? It’s all I had in here; I haven’t gotten to Walmart in a while.”

I ran my hand through my hair. “I’m going to go make you some food, and then you’re going to take a break.”

“Alan I can’t this pape---”

“I don’t care.” I cut him off. “A fifteen minute break won’t kill you.”

Austin sighs. “If you insist.”

“What do you want to eat?” I ask as he goes back to highlighting something.

Austin doesn’t look up at me. “It doesn’t matter.”

-=-

I returned to Austin’s room three minutes later with microwaved nachos. Some tortilla chips, a sprinkle of cheese and about a minute in the microwave. I also brought some salsa because we had it and why not?

“What is that?” Austin asks look over at me.

“Nachos?” I shrug. “I can’t make anything else, and like you, I haven’t gone to Walmart in a while.” I walk over to his bed and sit down. “Come over here.”

Austin quickly types something and then reluctantly gets up and sits on his bed next to me. “That looks extremely appetizing.” Austin mumbles as I hand him the plate.

“I slaved over a microwave making you that and that’s what you have to say?”

Austin nods. “I’m sorry, Alan. Thank you.” He gives me a small smile and rubs my leg. I will not try and seduce him. I will not try and seduce him.

“It’s no problem. I don’t want to you die while working on this dumb paper.” I sigh and watch as he hesitates and picks up one of tortilla chips with cheese on it.

“Yeah, well, like I said it’s 30% of my grade.” He takes a bite and doesn’t throw up, so I guess the nachos were okay.

“I thought it was due Wednesday.”

Austin shakes his head. “No, the outline was due Wednesday, the actual paper is due tomorrow.”

I nod. “Right, well are you almost done?”

“Yeah,” Austin takes another chip off the plate. “it’s a fifteen page paper, I’m on page eight, going on nine.”

“Well look at you.” I smile. “Do you need anything?”

Austin squints. “Actually, if you could go over to store in the commons and get me some Monster that would be great.”

“You mean the Doghouse?” Austin had the biggest issue with the school calling the campus store the Doghouse. He found it insulting and embarrassing and refused to call it that. So instead he called it the ‘store in the commons’ because that was so much simpler.

Austin sighs. “You know I hate the name.”

Honestly, it was fun teasing him about it. “I know.”

“Yet you continue to call it that.”

“That’s what it’s called.”

Austin rolls his eyes. “Anyway, just get me a four pack of the original.”

I get off his bed. “Is that all you need?”

“Some trail mix?” He smiles.

"I'll be back." I get off his bed and kiss him even though his mouth was covered in cheese grease, or whatever it was.

-=-

I grabbed one of Austin’s hoodies and headed over to the commons building.

I can’t believe he wanted trail mix of all things. Who even eats trail mix? Old people and kids in daycare, that’s who. Not people in college.

Austin was really lucky that I cared about him this much because of course every asshole at school was stocking up on popcorns and Coke for the upcoming weekend. I walked back to where the drinks were held and realized that they did not have four packs of original, only the blue one, whatever flavor that was. I guess I’d have to get him four single ones.

After grabbing those I made my way to the snacks, I wasn’t even sure if they sold trail mix. I attempt to hold the four cans of Monster in my arm.

Over the mid height shelves, I could see Shayley and one of his friends come in. Of course. This just had to be my life right now. I scanned over the items in front of me until I find the biggest bag of trail mix I could ever need, but it was the only one I saw so I grabbed it and headed over to the checkout before Shayley saw me.

“How are you today?” I knew this girl, she was in my science class last semester, I couldn’t remember her name and I was too focused on getting out of here to look at her name tag.

“Good, you?” I ask and get my wallet out of my back pocket. I told Austin I would pay for it, a reward for working so hard.

“I’m good, can I see your student ID?” She asks.

I hand it over and wait for her to scan it, then she hands it back and starts scanning my items.

“I have to say, this is kind of a weird collection of items.” She smiles.

“It’s for my boyfriend.” I smile and look behind me quickly to see Shayley over by the drinks. Hopefully he doesn’t see me.

“That’ll be $10.50.” She smiles.

I hand her $11 and wait for her to give me two quarters back.

I tap my foot impatiently as she bags the items slowly, keeping her eyes on the people in the store. “Have a nice day.”

“Thanks, you too.” I grab the bag and my fifty cents and get the hell out of there.

“Alan, wait.” Fuck fuck fuck.

_Shayley._

-=-=-=-=-

I turn around slowly when I hear Shayley stop walking.

“What?” I ask and move the bag to my other hand.

“Wow, someone’s moody today.” He sighs and shoves his hands into his army green hoodie pockets.

“What do you want?” I needed to get back to Austin and honestly; I didn’t want to talk to Shayley.

Shayley rolls his eyes. “I see Austin forgave you.”

“Um, yeah.”

A small smirk comes over Shayley’s face. “So I’m guessing he didn’t tell you about what we did when you two were mad at each other?”

And here we go. “What are you talking about?”

“The Tuesday after you and Austin had your little fight,” Shayley leans in. “we hooked up.”

I rolled my eyes. “I know what you’re doing, Shayley. It’s not going to work.”

“What am I trying to do?” He asks, faking confusion.

“You’re trying to break Austin and I up so you can get back with him. It’s not going to work.” Of course when that whole situation happened, I did think that Shayley and Austin had sex, but I’m not so sure anymore. I’d like to think that Austin would’ve told me on the roof when we decided to be honest with each other, but why would Shayley just come out and say that?

Shayley scoffs. “I’m offended that you would even assume that. I’ve moved on to better things.”

“Oh okay. Then why would you just tell me that you and Austin 'hooked up'?" I wanted to add air quotes around hooked up for added dramatics, but Austin's bag of Monster and trail mix forbade it.

"To let you know?" He shrugs. To cause unnecessary drama...

I move the bag into my other hand and start to walk away. I wasn’t dealing with this, Austin needed his Monster and Shayley is a liar.

“Don’t you want to know who it is?” Shayley asks as I start to walk away.

Just as I suspected, he was trying to make me jealous. I turn around slowly. “Who, Shayley?”

Shayley just looks at me. “Who do you think it is?”

“I’m not playing a guessing game with you right now.” I turn back around and head towards the door. Again, what did Austin ever see in him? He’s fucking annoying.

-=-

“Alan!” Austin cheers from his desk.

“Are you okay?” I ask and close the door behind me.

He nods. “I’m almost done with my paper.”

“Good,” I set his bag on his desk. “I got your trail mix.”

“And my Monsters?”

I nod. “Need anything else?”

“A kiss for good luck?” He smiles and sets his highlighter down.

I smile. “I doubt you need it, but I guess I can do that.” I move closer to him and lean down, pressing my lips to his lightly. “Good luck.” I mumble against his lips and pull back.

“It’s what, about nine?” Austin asks as I lean against his desk.

I nod. “About.”

“Maybe I could take an Alan break?” He smiles.

I smile as well. “You need to finish your paper. Maybe if it’s not too late you can have an Alan reward?”

Austin pouts a bit. “So you’re just going to leave?”

“Well, you know as well as I do that if I stay in here, I’m going to distract you and then you’re going to be mad at me when you don’t finish your paper, so I’m just going to go back to my room and study the fascinating field of Anthropology and wait for you to rescue me.” Yeah, I wasn’t going to study. I was going to talk to Justin to figure out what to say to Austin when he got done with his paper.

Austin rubs my left hip a little. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“What page are you on?” I was trying to ignore how good Austin’s hands on me felt.

“Eleven. Two more and I’m free.”

“Well you better get started, then.” I move backwards from his grip and head to the door. “See you later?”

Austin nods. “Hopefully.”

-=-

“So Shayley said that he and Austin hooked up?” Justin sighs. “I am getting so sick of this, Alan. Just talk to Austin about it.”

“Well I am going to, it’s just that Austin’s doing his paper and I don’t want to distract him.”

Justin looks up from his book. “Do you think Shayley is lying?”

“Leaning towards it.”

“Well, how about you talk to him about it.”

“Are you okay? You’re being weird.” I ask.

“I’m fine, it’s just I think you should ignore Shayley, just why even give him the time of day?”

“I tried.”

“You didn’t try hard enough.”

-=-

I woke up to my bed moving slightly.

“What the fuck, Vince?” I sigh and bury my head into my pillow.

“It’s Austin.” I feel a hand on the small of my back. “Scoot over.”

“How did you get in here?” I sigh and move over towards the wall so Austin didn’t fall off the bed.

“I may or may not know how to jimmy the doors.” Austin was glowing under the light coming from outside our window. Vince doesn’t know how to pull the blinds down and I always forget.

“You broke into my room?” I ask, I was so tired.

Austin laughs. “You wouldn’t answer your phone to let me in. I did what I had to.” He rubs my back lightly. “I wanted to cuddle with you.”

I smile a little. “Isn’t that sweet?” I move a little and kiss him.

“You should be proud. I could’ve fallen and hurt myself. Is your bed going to be like this next year?”

“Hell no.” I sigh move to my side so Austin could move over a little more. “I will never do this again.”

“Good because this is terrible.” He smiles.

“Well I assumed we’d be in your room more anyway because you’ll have a bigger bed.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Um everyone knows the apartments have double beds in them.” I roll my eyes.

“Is that so?”

“I will push you off this bed.”

Austin puts on a fake shocked face. “That’s mean.”

I lean in and kiss him. “Better?”

“Yeah I guess.” He sighs. “Let’s go to bed, okay? It’s two in the morning.”

“Why did it take you so long?”

“Well, I had to proof read it, then I had Tino proof read it, then I saved it eight times onto my flash drive, and then I had to find my printer paper.” Austin sighs. “Then I attempted to go to the computer lab downstairs, but of course it was broken.” I smiled a bit because he was obviously frustrated and he looks cute when he’s frustrated. “So I had to go back up to my room and get my jacket, then walk all the way over to the commons and of course the printer was acting up so I had to call IT and they fixed it, luckily, but I got it done, that’s all that matters.”

“Well, I’m happy for you, let’s go to bed.” We could talk about Shayley later, he looked exhausted and it could honestly wait.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He gives me a quick kiss.


	37. thirty seven

Austin and I were currently sitting on the grass on one of the grassy patches besides commons. Surprisingly, it was nice out, considering it was the end of February.

“So, Shayley talked to me yesterday.”

Austin looks over at me, setting his phone down in the process. “What about?”

“He told me that you two hooked up when we were fighting.”

Austin laughs a little. “No, I wouldn’t sleep with him just because I was mad at you, come on.”

“Then why did he say that?”

“Because it’s Shayley?” Austin shrugs. “I mean he tried to kiss me but I put a stop to that.”

“He did? Why did didn’t you tell me?”

“I did? On the roof, I mentioned it.” He sighs.

I look at him. I don’t really remember him mentioning it, but whatever; I wasn’t going to argue with him.

Austin looks at me, then takes my hand. “This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to go to Shayley’s room and we’re all going to sit down and talk about whatever problems you two have.”

“Austin no that sounds like a terrible idea.” I sigh.

“It’s already happening.” Austin lets go of my hand and gets up. “come on, we’re going.”

“Austin I really don’t want to.”

“Alan, he’s my friend,”

“Also your psycho ex-boyfriend.”

Austin ignores me. “you’re my boyfriend. I want you to get along. Let’s go.”

-=-

Shayley didn’t a roommate and honestly I’m not surprised, I wouldn’t want to live with him.

I sat on the unused bed next to Austin, looking at Shayley who was slowly drinking a beer like it wasn’t two in the afternoon. I felt so weird; this is not where I wanted to be right now. I was probably sitting in a spot where Shayley whored himself to some guy. The only plus side to this is possibly finding out who Shayley’s going after now. My bets are on Bran, just because he thinks it’ll bother me. Guess what? It won’t.

“So,” Shayley sets his beer on his desk. “why is he here?”

Austin sighs. “Well, I want you two to stop acting like children and get along. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

I rolled my eyes. Shayley started it, had he not come over while I was talking to Tino and Austin to get laid, I’m fairly certain everyone would get along, but no.

“What do you want me to do, Austin? Bow down whenever he walks in the room. All hail the king of annoyingville.”

What? “Wow that’s mature.” I mumble

“I want you to stop telling him lies in order for us to break up, you know we didn’t have sex, Shayley, we didn’t do anything but talk, so why you felt the need to lie about it to him, I don’t know, but stop.” Austin looks at Shayley.

“It’s not my fault he’s so gullible.” Shayley grabs his beer off the table. “I mean really, have some trust in your boyfriend.”

“I do, Shayley.” I watch as he takes a drink. “I don’t see why you feel the need to make it your business, though.”

“Austin is my business, thank you.” Shayley looks at me.

“Why do you hate me so much?” I ask.

Shayley seems a little taken aback. “Ballsy.”

“Just answer me, Shayley.”

“Because you stole Austin from me, you came sashaying in here with your little body and red hair and innocence and snatched him right up.” Shayley honestly sounded upset, but that’s not how it went at all, at least from my point of view.

“Well first, I don’t sashay, second, you and Austin weren’t together when I got here.” I state. I was so annoyed.

“I was trying to get him to get back with me, and I thought it was working, but then he lied to me and told me that he didn’t like you when he actually did. So in a way, Alan, you did snatch him up.”

“That’s no reason to hate me!” I exclaim.

“Are you kidding, of course it’s a reason to hate you.”

“Honestly, Shayley, it’s not. If you’re going to hate anyone for that, it should be me.” Austin finally adds his two cents.

Shayley looks down at his bare feet. “I suppose that would be more logical.”

I decided to not make a comment.

“Can you two just please try?” Austin looks at me, then at Shayley. “I’m not asking you two to be best friends, just to be able to sit together at lunch without looking like you might tear each other’s eyes out.”

“I’ll try if Alan tries.” Shayley gives an obviously fake smile.

I had no choice, if I didn’t agree, Austin would be pissed. “Fine.”

-=-

“What do you want to do?” Austin asks as we walk down the stairs in Rodgers, Shayley had class in thirty minutes so we, thankfully, got to leave.

“Burn these pants because I don’t know whose cum has been on that bed that we sat on.”

Austin sighs. “You said you’d try.”

“And I am, he’s not here, therefore,”

“Therefore what?”

“Therefore I don’t have to be nice to him.” Obviously.

“Alan,”

“No, the agreement was to be nice to him; you didn’t say that I couldn’t talk behind his back.”

“Okay middle school girl I have suddenly started dating, it’s nice to meet you.”

-=-

“I just got a text from Shayley,” Austin tells me when I come back into his room.

“What does he want?”

“He wants to know if we want to head over to the cafeteria for dinner?”

No, not really. “I guess.”

“Are you just saying that?”

“Yes, but I’m trying.”

Austin walks over and hugs me. “Thank you for trying.”

-=-

Shayley was staring at his pasta and I was staring out the window. Austin had gone to get more ketchup, because the amount he had gotten before apparently wasn’t enough.

“So, um,” Shayley mumbles. “do you have a major?”

I look over at him. “Not really, no.” I pick up a French fry and nibble at it. “You must have one since you’re a senior or whatever.”

He shrugs. “I still have a semester left, and I’m double majoring in voice and composition.”

“So you’re in the music department?” I ask.

He nods. “Yeah,”

“That must be fun.”

“I guess it is if you like music.” Shayley moves the noodles around on his plate.

"So you never mentioned who you like or whatever." I sigh. I was going to get something out of this.

"I told you, you have to guess."

"Bran?"

Shayley laughs. "Never, just no, too geeky."

"I don't know, then."

"Jacob Palmer."

That named sounded familiar. "That sounds familiar, what does he look like?"

"He's a football player, freshman, cute."

"Wait, Justin's roommate?"

"I don't know?"

"What room is he in?"

"202? In Oak."

"That's Justin's roommate, are you kidding me? He's not even gay."

"Life lesson, pay attention; everyone's a little gay once they get some liquor in them."

I can't wait to tell Justin all about this.

-=-

“I told you dinner wouldn’t be so bad.” Austin smiles as we head over to the Redbox machine.

“It wasn’t unbearable but it wasn’t my favorite thing, either.”

“What movie do you want to get?” Austin asks

“ _Hotel Transylvania._ ”

“Another cartoon?” He sighs and types the name in to select it.

“If you don’t want to watch it, that’s fine.”

“No, it’s okay.” He turns and kisses my cheek. “Oh, did you get the plane tickets for spring break?”

“Yeah,” I smile as Austin gets his wallet out. “Um, slight problem, though.”

Austin stops and looks at me. “What?”

“Um, we’re leaving the seventh instead because they didn’t have any flights for the eighth.”

“So now we’re spending two nights with your parents?” He sighs and swipes his card quickly. “Alan.”

“Austin, I’m sorry.”

Austin sighs. “You know what, you’re being nice to Shayley for me; I can put up with an extra day full of parental awkwardness.”

“I’ll make my mom promise not to be awkward and annoying.” I grab his hand after he gets the movie out of the slot.

“You and I both know that’s not going to happen.” He smiles.

-=-=-=-=-=

“What’s the weather going to be like?” Austin was currently packing for our flight tonight. Why he waited until last minute? I’m not sure, but he was freaking out.

“Um, sunny? It’s California, Austin.” I sigh and move my legs so I was sitting Indian style on his bed.

“Too hot for jeans?” He asks and stares at his open suitcase.

I shake my head. “No, you’ll be okay.”

He nods. “Good, I don’t like wearing shorts.”

“Why?”

“My legs are weird.” He grabs a shirt out of his bag and sets it in his suitcase.

“I like them.”

Austin looks up at me. “You’re weird, too.”

“Whatever. Why don’t you hurry up and pack so we can get going?”

“I can’t believe we’re missing class tomorrow.” He sighs and continues to go through his drawer. “I mean we’re already getting a week break.”

“Austin, one day of class will not kill you, you already talked to your professors, they said it was fine and you can make up what you missed.” He’s so annoying about schoolwork like it’s important but one day will not kill him.

“I know, but you’re going to distract me so I can’t get any work done.”

“That’s right, blame the boyfriend.”

“The very beautiful boyfriend who seduces me all the time.” I couldn’t help but feel my heart flutter when the word ‘beautiful’ came out of Austin’s mouth. He had never referred to me in such a way, no one really has, well, except my mom, but obviously that wasn’t the same thing.

“You two are so gross.” Tino sighs from his bed. “I can’t wait to be away from you for two weeks.”

“I love you, too, Valentino.” Austin laughs.

“The feeling is not mutual.” Tino responds, continuing to flip through his magazine.

-=-

“Hello, Mr. Carlile.” I smile as we move our bags into his car.

“Alan, I’ve told you, it’s Robert.” He smiles and pats me on the back. “You excited to go home?”

I nod. “Yeah, I can’t wait to see my parents and my cat.”

“I bet that will be fun.” Robert smiles, then turns his attention to Austin. “You almost ready, Aus?”

Austin closes the trunk to his dad’s Buick. “Yeah, let’s go.”

-=-

Austin was currently talking to his dad while I stood awkwardly near the door, almost in the same spot where Austin and I kissed goodbye when I left for Christmas break. I looked over, Robert was telling Austin something, Austin was nodding. Then I saw them both smile and Robert hug Austin.

“Sorry about that.” Austin smiles when he comes closer. Robert had gotten back into his car.

“It’s okay.” I smile.

Austin kisses my temple then grabs his bag off the ground. “Let’s go get patted down by some unattractive TSA agents!”

-=-

“When’s the last time you were on a plane?” Austin and I were sitting on the ground in our terminal we had two hours until our flight was supposed to leave.

Austin thinks for a minute. “When I was thirteen?”

“That long?”

“You act like I’m fifty.” He smiles. “I’m getting hungry; you want to split a soft pretzel?”

We were having dinner with my parents as soon as we landed, but a pretzel wouldn’t ruin anything. “Sure,”

Austin gets up and wanders over to one of the food stations around our terminal. I wasn’t going to sit here bored and wait for him so I decided to text Justin.

What are you doing?

homework :| how about you?

waiting for Austin to get back with a pretzel :)

I hate you so much right now.

“I got us a slushie, too.” Austin smiles and hands me the drink.

He got us a slushie, too :P ilu bb

“Aren’t you romantic?” I laugh and take a drink as Austin sits down next to me.

“I try,” He laughs. “can I borrow your phone charger?”

I unplug my charger and hand him the end. “Since you got a slushie.”

-=-

I let Austin have the window seat since it’s been so long since he's been on a plane. I was also relieved that this flight was not packed, so no one had to sit on the other side of me.

“Are you excited?” I ask Austin, he was looking out the window and lightly chewing on a piece of gum.  
Austin looks at me. “Yeah, I’m kind of nervous though.”

“If I hold your hand will it help?” I ask.

Austin smiles and grabs my hand. “It might.”

-=-

Austin and I were listening to his iPod, he had one headphone and I had the other. Honestly, I wasn’t even paying attention; I was reading Sky Mall and was realizing that I needed everything in this catalog to live.

“Austin look at this cat tree!” I nudge Austin and he looks up from his text book. “It looks like an actual tree.”

“That’s um, interesting.” Austin gives me a small smile.

“You don’t feel sick, do you?”

Austin shakes his head. “I’m just trying to do homework.”

“It’s spring break, Austin.” I sigh.

“Would you rather me do my homework now or when I’m at your house?” He asks, arching one eyebrow slightly.

“Well if you put it that way.”

Austin smiles. “I’m going to get back to this.”

“Yeah, do that.” I smile and go back to my magazine.

-=-

“Your mom is picking us up?” Austin asks as we wait for the other passengers to get off the plane. I didn’t feel like fighting anyone.

“Yeah, I think my dad might be with her because we’re going to dinner, but I don’t know.”

Austin sighs.

“It’ll be fine, okay? We’re just going to Olive Garden.”

“It’s still your parents.”

I lean over and kiss him quickly. “Calm down.”

-=-

The closer we got to my mom’s car, the sweatier Austin’s hand got, honestly, it was kind of uncomfortable to hold.

“Is that your mom’s car?” Austin asks quietly.

“Yeah,” I watch as she gets out of the driver’s side door quickly. “And there she is.”

Austin lets go of my hand. “I can’t do this, Alan.”

“Yes you can.”

“Alan!” My mom calls.

“You have to.”

Austin sighs and follows me over to the car.

“My baby!” My mom pulls me into a hug and kisses my forehead. “I’m so happy to see you.”

“I happy to see you too.” I smile when she lets me go. “This is my boyfriend, Austin.”

Austin starts to wave but is cut off by my mom pulling him into her. “I can see why Alan likes you, you’re a good hugger.”

“And I’m not even trying.” Austin laughs nervously.

“It’s nice to meet you officially.” She smiles when she lets him go.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Ashby.” Austin smiles.

“Oh call me April.” She laughs. “Alright, let’s get your stuff in the car so we can go and eat.”

-=-

“Alan, we’re meeting your father there, he, of course, had to work a little late tonight.” My mom sighs as we head towards Olive Garden. “But we should be able to get a table, don’t you think? It’s almost 7:30 on a Thursday.”

“Yeah, mom.” I wasn’t really paying attention; I was too busy looking at Austin. He was looking out the window, taking everything in. When he’s concentrated he looks so peaceful, it’s hard not to look at him.

“How was your flight?”

“It was good.” I was still looking at Austin.

“What did you do?”

“Austin did his homework.” Austin looks over at the mention of his name and notices me looking at him, he gives me ‘you okay?’ look and I nod. “I looked at the Sky Mall catalog.”

“Ah, that sounds fun.” My mom smiles. I could tell she was trying so hard not to ask Austin a million questions.

-=-

“Hello welcome to Olive Garden, I’m Morgan I’ll be your server tonight.” Our tall, red-headed waitress smiles. “What can I get you to drink?” She looks at me, expectantly.

“Um, I’ll just have coke, please.” I awkwardly sit as she writes it down in her notebook.

“And you?” She looks at Austin.

“Same, please.” Austin rubs his finger on the edge of the table.

“And you Miss?” She smiles at my mom.

“Well, my husband will be here soon, so he’ll take Corona and I’ll have a glass of cabernet.” My mom smiles. “Oh, and we’ll need some appetizers, Alan, baby do you want cheese sticks?”

“Um I guess.”

Austin was trying not to laugh.

“Alright, we’ll take two of the choose threes.” My mom looks at the options. “Austin you don’t have a shellfish allergy, do you?”

“Um no, April.”

“Good, good. Alright, Morgan, we’ll take one of each except for the ravioli, my husband has this thing, hates ravioli, loves everything else, can you believe that? Who doesn’t like ravioli?”

“I don’t know, ma’am, but I’m going to go put these in for you.” She smiles.

“Such a nice girl,” My mom comments. “Austin, sweetie, get whatever you want. I mean it.”

“Thanks Mrs. Ashby, I mean, April.” Austin stutters.

-=-

“So you must be the boyfriend/RA?” My dad laughs as he sits down. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Austin nods. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Morgan comes back with our drinks, she sets all of our drinks down. “Do you need a minute?”

“Oh, yes.” My mom smiles.

“Alright, I’ll back with your appetizers soon.”

“Why do they have to put everything in damned Italian if they’re just going to put the translation next to it?” My dad sighs. “It makes no sense.”

“Well dad not everyone speaks Italian.” I look over my menu.

“But why put Italian on the menu, son?”

“It’s an Italian restaurant?”

My dad shakes his head. “The rest of the menu is in English though, you speak Italian, Austin?”

And here we go.

“Um, no.” Austin looks at my dad. “A little French, basic Japanese.”

“Since when do you speak Japanese?” I ask.

“I don’t, I just know what some words mean from class.”

“You’re taking a Japanese class?” My dad asks.

“Yeah, it’s a history class for my major.”

“History major?”

My mom put her menu down to put her full attention to the conversation.

Austin nods. “Double majoring in History and Graphic design.”

“That’s interesting.” My mom comments. “What are you planning on doing?”

“Working in a museum, art or history, it doesn’t matter I love them both.”

-=-

After we ordered and got our appetizers, I knew my dad would start the actual grilling now because there would be a lesser chance of interruption.

“I have no problems with tattoos, Austin, but you seem to have a lot for your age.” My dad comments a takes a drink of his beer.

Austin nervously laughs. “Yeah, it wasn’t really planned, I um, was in a band for a while and I was convinced that’s what I was going to do, so I wanted to look the part.” Austin looks at his tattoos. “But then I realized that wasn’t really logical and decided to go to college.”

My dad nods. “Well at least you don’t look stupid.” He laughs a bit. “I know some guys who look really dumb with tattoos, yours suit you.”

“Thank you, sir.” Austin looks down at his menu.

“Call me Anthony.”

“There are too many A names at this table.” I sigh and take a bite of my cheese stick.

My mom laughs. “I just noticed that. A table right over here!” She exclaims.

-=-

During dinner it was just small talk, Austin wasn’t getting asked a million questions, I wasn’t getting asked a million questions, it was nice.

My mom and dad were walking about twenty feet in front of us talking about something, so Austin and I got to walk together and talk for the first time in four hours.

“I told you it’d be okay.” I smile and grab his hand.

“Yeah, it wasn’t too bad.” I stop, making Austin stop too. “What?”

I lean up and kiss him, softly and quickly, but not quick enough.

“Boys! Do that again I need a picture for your scrapbook!” I hear my mom exclaim.

“Fuck.” I mumble and turn to see my mom walking towards us, her phone out.

“I guess we have to?” Austin sighs.

“Mom, stop being creepy.” I watch as she comes closer.

“But your scrapbook, honey, I already have a page for Austin so I need this photo.”

“April, leave them alone, they’re probably tired, come on.” My dad laughs and grabs my mom’s hand. “You can bother them tomorrow.”

I roll my eyes. “Thanks dad.”

“Welcome, son.” He pats me on the back with his free hand. “Now let’s get home.”


	38. thirty eight

“Your house is so big.” Austin states as we pull into my driveway.

“It’s really not.” I shrug.

“It’s like the size of my apartment building, Alan.” He sighs as he gets out of the car. My mom was walking towards the door; my dad was walking towards the car. “You boys need help?”

I get out of the car. “I don’t think so.”

“Good because I wasn’t going to help you.” He laughs and walks towards the door.

“What do you think so far?” I ask as the glass door to our house closes, signaling that both of my parents were inside.

“I’m still trying to take it in, honestly.” Austin smiles.

“I’m sorry my parents are insane.”

Austin shakes his head. “No, I mean your mom is kind of weird, but I like her, and your dad is pretty awesome.”

“And you were so nervous.” I tease as Austin hands me my bag.

Austin rolls his eyes. "Let's go inside."

-=-

“Mittens!” I set my suitcase down and pick up my baby, petting her soft fur. “You’ve gotten so big.”

Austin looks over at me. “So this is Mittens?” Austin pets her head softly.

“Yeah, isn’t she so cute?” I smile as Mittens starts squirming so I set her down.

“She’s almost as cute as you.” Austin smiles.

I really wanted to kiss him, but I knew as soon as I did, my mom would appear and embarrass me by attempting to take another picture, so instead I blushed hardcore and turned away.

“Baby! Where are you?” My mom comes wandering into the entryway.

“Like ten feet away from you.” I sigh as she comes in through the entryway.

“Oh, I found you.” She smiles. “Austin, dear, I’ve set the guest room up for you, Alan can show you where it is.”

“Why would he stay in the guest room?” I ask almost defensively.

“Just show him where it is.” She smiles and then turns and heads into the living room.

“Alan, she probably doesn’t want us to have sex.” Austin whispers.

“It’s going to happen anyway.” I grab his hand. “Come on, I’ll show you where you’re not sleeping.”

Austin grabs his bag with his free hand and follows me up the stairs.

-=-

“Here you go.” I lean against the brown dresser that held a small potted plant, an awkward picture of child me in hockey gear, a set of blue towels for Austin, and a couple of decorative books.

“I like it.” Austin smiles and sets his bag on the light blue comforter.

“I’m glad.” I roll my eyes.

“Why are you so mad?” He asks and takes his backpack off.

“Because I wanted to sleep with you.” I pout.

“Well your mom obviously doesn’t want us to.” He unzips his duffle bag and takes a small toiletry bag out.

“Does it look like I care? I’m almost nineteen.”

“It’s one night.” Austin smiles. “You’ll survive.”

“No I won’t.” I walk over to the bed and jump on it. “You want to go watch TV or something?” I ask as I lie down and look at him.

“Um, I guess, let me change really quick.”

“Okay.” I mess with the flap on his duffle bag.

“Where’s the bathroom?”

“You can’t change in front of me?” I ask.

“I have to pee, Alan.” He rolls his eyes.

“Oh, um, you can use mine.”

“Is it closer or do you just want me to wander into your bathroom at night half naked?”

“Well I didn’t think of that, but I like the way you think.”

“Alan, just tell me where the closest bathroom is.”

That’s when my mom just happened to be walking through the hallway, she was probably eavesdropping on our entire conversation. “You looking for the bathroom, dear?” My mom asks Austin.

“Yes, April.” Austin turns around. “Alan refuses to tell me.”

“Alan Anthony!” She gasps. “Why are you being so mean?” She was getting worked up over nothing, I would’ve eventually told him.

“I wasn’t mom.” I sigh.

“Anyway, Austin dear, it’s right across the hall.”

“Thanks April.” Austin grabs a pair of shorts from his bag and heads across the hall.

“You’re welcome, dear.” She smiles.

-=-

“I don’t know why you don’t like your legs.” I comment as Austin walks in from the bathroom, his legs bare in his basketball shorts.

“Is this lankiness turning you on?” Austin laughs.

I nod. “Yes.”

“Too bad, let’s go watch TV.”

-=-

Austin was lying in between my legs, his head on my chest, his eyes focused on the _Game of Thrones_ rerun on TV. It wasn’t a show either of us kept up with, but it was the only thing that was remotely interesting on. My left hand was smoothing Austin’s hair as I watched the one the blonde hair lights a circle of fire.

“What is she doing?” Austin asks.

“Maybe she and that white dude are going to eat marshmallows.”

Austin laughs a little. “For some reason I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

Austin and I watch as she walks into the fire as some lady yells. Obviously we came into the episode late.

“She’s going to die, what is she doing?”

“We’re watching the same show, Alan; I don’t know any more than you do.” Austin sighs and moves his head into my hand.

“I swear if this bitch is alive.” I sigh as they show some people sleeping on the ground, only to wake up when that white guy comes stomping through.

“You know she’s going to be, I see her all the time on commercials and stuff.”

“Oh, wow.” My mom comments as she walks into the living room. “You boys having fun?” She seems almost uncomfortable, maybe because of the position we were in, who knows with her.

“Yeah,”

My mom nods. “Well, there are snacks and sodas in the kitchen if you want anything.”

“I think we’re good mom.”

“Thanks April.”

“You’re welcome, Austin.” My mom states. “Alan.”

I look away from the TV. “Yeah?”

“Your father and I are going to bed.” She walks over to me and presses a kiss on my forehead. “Sleep well.”

“I’ll try.”

“Good,” She smiles. “You sleep well, too, Austin.” She kisses Austin’s forehead as well and then leaves.

“I’m sorry about that.” She is so embarrassing.

“I didn’t mind.” Austin says quietly.

-=-

“So you’re going to sleep?” I ask as Austin stretches in front of me, his shirt riding up just a little.

Austin yawns. “Yeah, it’s close to two back home.”

I sigh. “You’re so old.”

“I’m sorry.” Austin smiles as I get off the couch.

I hug him. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

Austin puts his arms around my neck. “Your mom obviously doesn’t want us to sleep in the same room, Alan.”

“She’s not going to know, Austin.”

“I really don’t want to make her mad.” Austin rests his forehead against mine. “I’d like your parents to like me.”

“I’d like to sleep with my boyfriend.”

“It’s just tonight, Alan.”

I sigh. “Fine, be that way.”

Austin closes the small gap and kisses me. “Let’s go to bed.” He kisses me again. “In our own rooms.”

-=-

It was getting closer to five and I couldn’t sleep. Mittens was lying at my feet, but I wanted Austin. I quickly got out of bed, careful not to wake Mittens. I grabbed my phone and made my way down the hall to the guest room. I looked under the door to see no lights. Austin was probably asleep.

With a sigh I turned the doorknob and looked inside. I couldn’t really see anything, so I clicked the home button on my phone so I could at least see the floor, the last thing I wanted to do was trip over Austin’s bags…again.

I closed the door quietly and made my way over to the bed, sliding in next to Austin.

“What the fuck?” He mumbles and turns over.

“Austin.” I whisper and set my phone on the table.

“What are you doing, Alan?” Austin sighs and turns on his back. Now that my eyes had adjusted I could kind of see him in the light from the alarm clock.

“I wanted to sleep with you.”

He sighs. “But your mom.”

“I don’t care.”

“Don’t try to seduce me.” He mumbles. “Just go to bed.”

“I’m going.” I move my head so it’s resting on his chest and bring my arm around to pull him closer to me.

“Good.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=

I woke up the next morning to the amazing smell of breakfast cooking and Austin spooning me, sharing a pillow. I rolled over, Austin’s arm still around me. I guess I woke him by my moving because he was looking at me with a hint of confusion on his face. “Good morning.” I smile. Austin leans in and kisses me and even though we both had gross morning breath, I didn’t really mind. “Hey,” He moves back and slides his hand to my lip. “what smells good?”

“I think my mom is making breakfast.”

Austin gets a dopey look on his face. “I like breakfast.”

“Do you?” I cup his exposed cheek since the other one was laying on the pillow and kiss him. Austin surprisingly kissed me back, his tongue slipping in my mouth as his hand slinked from my hip to my rib cage. He used his hand’s position to push me back lightly, so I was lying on my back, then he got on top of me. Again, I was surprised, especially after I had to sneak in here at five in the morning just to sleep in the same bed as him.

I could feel him through the thin fabric of our boxer briefs.

Then he pulls back. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” I ask as he rolls off me.

“Your parents are downstairs.”

Seriously? “It’s fine we can just be really quiet.”

“You’re never quiet, Alan.” Austin sighs. “I’m going to go get a shower.”

I regretted getting one last night before I attempted to fall asleep, maybe I could’ve joined him. Although I can’t really see Austin allowing that to happen since he’s freaked out about my parents.

“Oh,”

“I’m sorry.” He climbs out of bed and starts collecting his things for the shower.

“It’s okay?” It really wasn’t, but I could tell he was either embarrassed or annoyed or both, so I wouldn’t say anything, besides my parents were leaving tonight, then we could fuck wherever and most importantly, whenever.

“When your parents leave, okay?” He opens the door and quickly makes his way to the bathroom across the hall.

-=-

After I had gotten changed, I made my way downstairs.

“Good morning, baby.” My mom smiles as I sit at the kitchen table.

“Hi.”

“Where’s Austin?”

“He’s getting a shower.” I turn so I could see what she was doing.

She continues making whatever she was making. “You two went to bed awfully late last night.”

“I guess.”

“What were you doing?” She asks as she walks over to the fridge to get something out.

“Watching TV.” She’s so nosy.

She nods and walks over with an egg carton in hand. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah, that _Game of Thrones_ show isn’t too bad.”

“I don’t know what that is, sweetie.”

Austin walks in to the kitchen, looking kind of confused. “I got lost.” He walks over and sits next to me.

“Good morning, Austin.”

“Good morning, April.”

My mom turns from the skillet. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, Mrs. Ashby, thank you.”

“Did you sleep well, Alan?” My mom asks and looks at me.

“Yeah, I slept great.”

“Hm,” She turns back to the stove.

Austin looks at me and gives me a ‘your mom knows you snuck into my room last night and now she’s mad that you won’t own up to it’ look.

I just roll my eyes.

-=-

“So what do you boys have planned for the week?” My mom asks as we eat our breakfast.

I shrug. “I guess we’ll just figure it out as we go.” That's a lie, I had got Austin and I tickets to Disneyland that I was going to surprise him with sometime during the week.

My mom nods. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have fun wherever you go.” She takes a bite of her French toast.

“You could go to the beach?” My dad suggests.

“Planning on it.” I move my eggs around on the plate.

Austin eats his breakfast quietly.

“Alan, your father and I are going to run to Walgreen’s after we eat. Do you boys need anything?”

I look at Austin, who shakes his head.

“No we’re good.”

-=-

“You’re being really quiet.” I sit next to Austin on the couch. My mom was upstairs getting ready and my dad was cleaning the kitchen up for her. “Are you okay?”

Austin looks over at me and gives me a small smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

He kisses my cheek. “I’m sure.”

I knew something was off, he’s usually not quiet like this, maybe he was upset about missing class, or maybe he was still embarrassed or whatever emotion he was feeling earlier.

“Alan honey!” My mom calls. “Where are you?”

“Living room!” I call back.

“Ah!” She leans against the armchair and looks at Austin and me. “Your father and I are getting ready to go.”

“Okay.”

“We’re going to bring you back lunch, what do you want? Chinese? Thai food?”

I look at Austin. “What do you want?”

Austin shrugs. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You can just get us In-n-out, mom. No big deal.”

My mom sighs. “Alright baby, I’ll text you when we’re on our way there to get what you two want, it’ll be easier that way.” She walks over and kisses my forehead. “We’ll be back later; your dad is leaving the CR-V keys here if you two need to go somewhere.”

“Alright.”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

She kisses Austin’s forehead and then makes her way out of the living room.

“What do you want to do now that they’re gone?” I ask.

-=-

Austin and I were both naked, I was sitting on my dresser and Austin was standing in between my legs, kissing my neck, his hands running all over my body, from my toes to my neck; he was touching it.

“Austin,”

Austin detaches his lips from my neck. “Do we have enough time?” He looks into my eyes.  
I pull him closer to the dresser with my legs. “If we start now we should.” My mom hadn’t texted me yet, but I wasn’t about to tell Austin that because he would probably freak out just me just mentioning my mom. “But you might want to hurry.”

Austin quickly stretched me and threw a condom on before kissing me and moving me to a position that he thought would be the most pleasurable.

“Ready?”

I lean in and kiss him as an answer. Austin lines up and pushes in slowly; pressing kisses on my lips with each movement until he’s all the way in. His hands land on my hips, lighting massaging as he pulls out slowly, I rest my forehead on his shoulder, placing kisses where I could. Austin pushes back in causing me to moan a little against his skin. Austin pulls out then pushes back in over and over until he finally hits me where I need him to. “Austin,” I pull away from his shoulder and look at him. “harder.” Austin kisses me then rams himself in, grapping my hips. I could feel his short fingernails making marks on my skin.

Austin breathily moans my name as he thrusts in. That right there was enough to send me over the edge; Austin’s breathy voice was so attractive, so sexy.

“You close?” Austin kisses my neck then licks down to my collar bone and bites and sucks and licks. Honestly, I don’t think I’m able to talk, so instead I moan. Austin takes one hand off my hip and I immediately miss his fingernails cutting into my skin. He spits in his hand quickly, then goes back to the kissing and biting on my collar bone and begins to jack me off.

“Fuck, Austin.” I manage to find my voice briefly.

“Alan,” Austin murmurs against my skin. “I’m,” He speeds up the use of his hand as he cums.

Austin jacks me for a few more seconds until I cum moaning his name.

Austin rests his forehead against mine but didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “We need to clean up, come on.” He pulls back and looks at me, his eyelids heavy; he was probably ready for a nap.

“I don’t want to move.” I sigh and run my thumb over his rose tattoo on his neck.

“I’ll carry you into bathroom like a baby.” Austin smiles.

“You will?”

Austin nods and pulls me closer to him. “Wrap your legs around my waist and hold on.”

-=-

Austin set me on my bathroom counter. “You’re heavier than you look.”

I decided to ignore him. “Are we getting a shower?” I really didn’t want to stand up, the more I thought about it, I was ready for a nap.

Austin shrugs. “We can if you want. Or we could use a washcloth.”

“Washcloth.” I smile.

“Well I’m assuming you’re not going to get it, so where are they?”

“Under the cabinet.”

-=-

Austin and I were awoken from our nap to my phone obnoxiously buzzing on the table next to us.  
I grab it off the table and Austin rests his head on my shoulder.

“It’s my mom.”

“Is she calling?”

“No, it’s a text.”

“Well read it, Alan. It’s probably about our food and honestly, I’m more hungry than I am tired.”

Your father and I are about to leave the store, what do u and Aust want?

“What do you want?”

“Whatever you get I guess.”

-=-

“What did you boys do while we were gone?” My mom asks as she sets some bags on the table.

“Um,” I look at Austin, expecting him to answer.

“Watched a movie.” Austin finishes for me.

My mom turns around and gives us weird looks. “Mhm,”

“Are there more bags in the car because I feel like we should be helping.” I state, anything to get out of the house.

“Actually, no, but you two could go wash your hands before we eat.”

-=-

“Why didn’t we just use the bathroom downstairs?” Austin asks when we get to the guest bathroom.

“Because I need to talk to you.”

Austin turns the water on. “About what?”

“We need to get our story straight.”

“You’re acting like we murdered someone; we’ll just say that we watched Hotel Transylvania

“We made out during that.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Austin sighs. “I highly doubt she’ll ask what it’s about though.”

“We could just tell her we had sex.” I suggest.

I could see Austin’s eyes get really wide in the mirror. “That is a terrible idea.”

“She obviously knows, Austin.”

“She suspects.” Austin turns the water off and turns to look at me. “She’s never finding out that we’ve had sex.”

“My dad knows.”

“What?” Austin’s eyes get just a little bit bigger. “Why?”

“It was over Christmas break we were talking and I told him we ‘mess around’ I mean I didn’t tell him that we actually, you know, have sex.”

“I can’t go back down there.” Austin leans against the counter.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes I’m serious.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want your parents to hate me, Alan. I like you so much Alan,” Austin grabs my hand. “I don’t want to lose you, you know? And if your parents hate me then obviously, I’d lose you.”

“Austin,” I pull him closer to me. “I like you a lot, too.” Austin smiles and hugs me, wrapping his long, lanky arms around my waist, my arms going around his neck. “Besides, my parents don’t hate you, if they did my mom most certainly would not be kissing your forehead.” I kiss him softly. “You’re not going to lose me, Austin.”

-=-

“Alan, your dad and I are going to be leaving soon.” My mom informs us as we throw our trash away, the only thing we talked about lunch was my parent's cruise, the second either of them tried to change the subject to Austin and I, I spun it around and made it about them.

“Oh,” Honestly, I was pretty excited, once they left we had the house to ourselves.

“I’ve left a list of numbers near the fridge, your dad is leaving the keys,” She stops to think. “There’s menus in the drawer, what else am I missing?”

“I don’t know, dear.” My dad looks at me and gives me the ‘your mother is somewhat crazy’ look that he gives me every once and a while.

“What time is it Anthony?” She asks as she walks over to the fridge and picks up the list next to the fridge, going over each number. “Oh, the other thing, the Greens next door have a spare key, there’s also one under that adorable gnome you painted when you were younger.”

Austin laughs a little. “You painted that?”

That gnome was terrible, my dad bought it and a set of paints for me to paint and give to my mom as a Mother's Day present, regardless of its terrible color scheme and the 'Alan' written in my horrible six year old handwriting on the back of its hat, my mom loved it more than anything else. “Shut up I was six.”

“Isn’t it the cutest, Austin?” She smiles.

"It really is, I think I'll take a picture of it later to remember it." Austin smiles as I kick his foot under the table.

“April, it’s almost four.”

“Shoot! We’ve got to get going. Anthony is the car ready?”

“All packed and ready.”

She nods and walks over to me and grips my cheeks. “You be good, okay? Lock the doors, no strangers, remember to wash your hands before you eat, I know you forget sometimes.” She kisses the apples of my cheeks. “Don’t burn the house down, okay? And don’t crash the car.”

“I know, mom.” I sigh, not even attempting to get out of her grip because it would be useless to even try.

“I love you.” She kisses my forehead and releases her grip, playfully smacking my right one.

“I love you, too.” I smile as she goes to harass Austin now.

My dad walks over. “Do what your mother says.”

“Of course.”

“Be safe.” He hugs me and I hug him back.

“I will.”

“Alright.” He pats my shoulder when he lets go. “Austin, it was nice to finally meet you properly.”

“Yeah, you too Mr. Ashby.”

-=-

“This is weird.” My parents had just left and Austin and I were standing in the kitchen just looking at each other.

“What’s weird?”

“Being here by myself, well, with you.”

Austin nods. “Right.”

“What do you want to do?” I ask.

“Cuddle?” He smiles.

“Come on,” I grab his hand and drag him upstairs.

-=-

Austin really likes lying on me. His head on my chest, arms around me, my hand in his hair, lightly petting him like he was a cat. Speaking of cats, Mittens was at the foot of my bed next to Austin’s feet. I’m pretty sure this is my newest favorite thing.

“Are you awake?” I ask quietly.

“Yeah, barely.”

“You want to go to the beach later?”

Austin moves so he could see me. “Um, I’d rather go tomorrow so we could spend longer there.”

“We go more than once, Aus.”

He nods. “I know, I just want my first experience at a California beach to be like awesome you know? That sounds really stupid but,”

“No I get it.” I smile at him.

“We’ll go tomorrow and spend all day there. We’ll go to the beach, the surfing museum, um, the aquarium? We could maybe go to Long Beach too, it’s not too far.”

“That sounds like fun.” Austin smiles.

“We’ll go early, I think the beaches open at five or six and you want to get there before all of the tourists, especially since its Spring Break season.”

“It’s a date.” Austin kisses under my chin.


	39. thirty nine

“Wake up, Alan. I made you breakfast.” I look up to Austin holding a bowl in one hand and a cup of juice in the other. “Well, I guess I technically poured you a bowl of cereal.” Austin walks over and sets the bowl and glass on my bedside table, then sits down next to me.

“Thanks, Aus.” I give him a small smile and take the glass, it was orange juice, good thing I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet.

“You’re welcome.” He smiles as I set the glass down.

“What time is it?”

“Five.”

“Why so early?” I sigh.

“Well you said we need to get to the beach early.”

I nod. “Yeah, how about we go back to sleep for another three hours then go?”

“Alan.” Austin whines and lies down next to me. “You said we’d go early.”

-=-

After Austin begged and pleaded and gave me puppy dog eyes, I got up and ate my cereal. A relationship was about compromise and I guess I would have to compromise three hours of sleep so Austin could go to the beach, and while that sleep would make me happy, I’m sure seeing Austin happy would make me happier.

“What do we need to bring?” Austin asks as he dumps his backpack out. “Sunscreen, for you obviously, I don’t want you to turn red.” Austin smiles at me as I pull my swim trunks on.

“That’s hilarious.” I roll my eyes.

“Just looking out for your wellbeing.”

“I appreciate it, I guess.”

Austin looks at me. “You want to make yourself useful and go get your sunscreen so you don’t die?”

I walk over to him. “You’re kind of hot when you’re mad, especially when you’re just standing there in basketball shorts.”

“I know what you’re doing, also I’m not mad, I’m annoyed.”

“What am I doing?” I ask. I knew what I was doing.

“You’re trying to get me to have sex with you.”

“You act like it’s such a terrible thing.” I roll my eyes and grab onto his hips.

“The beach, though.” He sighs as I kiss his chest.

“Will still be there after we have sex.” I mumble against his chest.

“Alan—” Austin sighs,

“You’re no fun.” I sigh and pull away from him.

“Later?”

“Why is it always later?”

“Why is it always now?” Austin counters.

“Let’s just go.”

-=-

“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” Austin asks as we walk from the parking lot to the sandy part of the beach. The sun was just now coming up, so we could now see the lifeguard towers and the various umbrellas and the waves.

“Why would I be mad?” I was kind of annoyed about this morning.

“Because I wouldn’t have sex with you.”

“That’s not a reason to be mad.”

“You’re acting mad.”

“We need to go over to this surfboard rental place.” I point to a small shack. “I’m not acting mad, I’m just…annoyed.”

“Why?”

“Because we finally have a place with no interruptions and you continuously tell me no.”

“We had sex yesterday.” Austin points out. “And we have the whole week.”

“I just feel like we aren’t taking advantage of the gift we’ve been given.”

Austin grabs my arm, causing me to stop. I turn and look at him. “I plan on taking full advantage tonight.” He smirks a little.

“Why not this morning?” I guess I should be okay with at least getting some tonight, but I wasn’t about to lose this disagreement without at least putting up a decent fight.

“Because I know how you get, Alan.” Austin sighs. “You get so tired after sex and then you get cranky when you don’t get to go right to sleep.”

“That’s not true.” I state. I did get tired but I did not get cranky

Austin stares at me. “Can we not start this day of perfection out like this? Please?” Austin slides his hand down my arm, only stopping when he reaches my hand. “It’ll only be perfect if you’re with me and pissed off.”

“You win this time.” I couldn’t keep this up, I couldn’t stay upset with him, especially over something stupid.

“Every time.” He leans in a kisses me. “Now, surfboards.”

-=-

Austin was walking back over to where we set up our stuff, his hair pushed back from the water, the tight wetsuit hitting him in all the right places. This wasn’t fair, really. For him to look that good in fucking wetsuit and I couldn’t even get a boner because it was a public beach and the wetsuit I was wearing probably wouldn’t allow it anyway.

“You need to go out there again, Alan. The waves are amazing.” Austin smiles as he shoves his surfboard in the sand next to mine. We had been out here since about 6:30 and it was now getting close to 11, Austin was having the time of his life so I wasn’t going to be the party pooper.

“I will, I’m just tired.”

Austin sits down next to me. “Will you unzip the back of this?”

Austin had unzipped mine, so I had no choice but to unzip his.

“Thanks.” He smiles and pulls his arms out, then shoves it down a little so he could breathe. “Did you put sunscreen on?” He asks as I lay back on one of the towels we brought. “I don’t want your cute little tummy to get burnt.”

“You are so annoying.” I sigh. I kind of liked him being so concerned about me though. “Yes, I did.”

“Want me to do your back?” He asks and gets the SPF 50 out of his backpack.

“If you’re volunteering.” I smile and roll over.

“Give me a second.” I hear the top pop and the farting noise that came after, then the noise of Austin putting it on his skin and rubbing.

“Don’t take too—” I felt cold on my back. “long, ah.”

Austin laughs a little as he rubs the cold lotion into my skin. “Cold?”

“A little,” I rest my head on my arm and enjoyed the feeling of Austin’s hands massaging my skin.

-=-

“Will you stop rubbing your sandy ass foot all over me?” Austin asks after we get seated at a restaurant on the beach, a pizza place that had a patio thing on the beach so you didn’t even have to get dressed. Austin and I put our swim shorts on because we were done surfing for the day.

“Sorry, just trying to play footsie over here.” I sigh and look over the menu.

Austin looks down at his menu. “You have a problem.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be so fucking attractive, then I wouldn’t have to rub my feet on you.”

Austin looks at me over his menu. “Are you on drugs?”

“What can I get you two to drink?” Our waitress asks.

-=-

Austin pushed me against the car and put hands on either side of me. “You’ve been so patient all day.” He whispers, his breath hot on my face.

I nod slowly. Holy shit.

“Get in the car and take these off.” Austin looks down at my shorts.

I press the button to unlock the car and climb in, shoving my shorts off as I do. It was hot and suffocating in the car. The sun had been beating down on the car all day and now we were going to have sex in it. Austin climbs in after me and closes the door, throwing the backpack on the floor and shoving his shorts off. I was suddenly glad these windows were tinted. Austin resumes his position of hands on either side of me, except this time it was kind of cramped.

He leans down and kisses me hard on the lips, grinding his hips as he does, because apparently he felt the need to try and get me harder. I let my hands slide up and down his chest, feeling his smooth skin, his tiny tummy, the different peaks and valleys on his skin.

Austin moves from my lips to my chin to my cheek. “Do you need---” Austin asks against my skin.

“No, just go ahead and do it.”

Austin reaches down to his backpack and opens the small pocket up and pulls his supplies out. “Are you sure?” He sets the lube bottle down on my chest thanks to the small amount of space.

“Yes.”

Austin nods and rolls the condom on. “Absolutely sure?”

Austin grabs the bottle and spreads a fair amount on. “I swear, Austin, if you don’t get---” I’m cut off by Austin kissing me and pushing in quickly. Fuck, that was more painful than I thought it was going to be. “You never listen.” Austin mumbles against my lips. Had my eyes been open, I would’ve rolled them.

Austin pulls out a little, slowly at first to see if I was okay, which I was now that I had gotten over the shock, then he pulls out quicker, looking at me. I move my left hand to the back of his neck and pull him closer to me, not even waiting for him to allow me to put my tongue into his mouth, instead I just do, kissing him passionately as he starts thrusting harder and quicker.

How Austin found the lube bottle while not looking is beyond me, but I heard the top on the bottle open as I wrapped my legs around Austin to bring him closer. Austin squirts some lube near my dick, obviously it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t too bad. He tosses the bottle somewhere and then slides the lube up and starts jacking in time with his deep, hard, thrusts.

I only take my lips away for a minute, to get the moan out of my throat. “Austin,” Austin moves his lips to my neck, moaning against it before taking tiny bites.

“Fuck, Austin.” I could hear Austin laugh a little. “I’m,”

“I know,” He says it cockily as he places kisses on my collar bone. “me too.”

Austin, surprisingly, cums first, shouting my name against my neck. I cum not too long after, moaning Austin’s name the loudly, probably louder than usual.

Austin kneels over me, just looking at me; honestly, it made me kind of uncomfortable. He still had that look in his eye, that one of lust and fire. “What are we going to do about this?” Austin asks and looks at my tummy, where my cum was spread on my stomach. Usually we got a shower or used a washcloth, I guess we could use the beach towels, but I was thinking Austin had something else in mind.

“I’m not sure.” I choke out.

Austin smirks then leans down and starts lapping at the mess on my chest, alternating between short licks and longer ones until I was covered in his saliva instead of semen. Really not sure which is worse.

-=-

“You want to drive? I can’t move.” I sigh as I attempt to put my shorts back on.

Austin looks over at me and smiles. “Not really.”

I finally get my shorts up. “I’m so tired though.”

“Thank you for proving my early point.” He laughs.

“No, I’m just tired because I’ve been up since five this morning.”

“And my second point; cranky.” He takes the keys from me. “Will you at least move your lazy ass to the front seat?”

“You are killing me.” I sigh and open the door to get out.

_+_+_+_+

The next morning I woke up lying on top of Austin, his arms tightly around my waist, pretty much locking me into place. It felt so nice, our skin against each other’s because we fell asleep naked, the peaceful look Austin had on his face made me happy inside. I kiss under Austin’s chin to try and wake him up, which doesn’t work. I shift slightly and Austin moves his hands, one staying on the small of my back, and the other resting on the bed next to him. I move down a little, slowly.

“What?” Austin mumbles and looks at me.

“Huh?”

“What are you doing?”

I kiss right under his chest piece. “Nothing.” I move lower, kissing in a straight line as I go down, moving down to his belly button.

“Alan,” Austin sighs.

“Hm?” I kiss his hips.

“Don’t stop.”

I bring his tip into my mouth and slowly suck, causing Austin to whimper slightly. I’m really glad I’m getting good at this whole ‘giving head’ thing because Austin makes the best noises when I give him head. They’re so much better than we have sex, honestly. I go deeper, allowing him to hit the back of my throat as I feel his hand grab onto my hair, threading his long fingers in and tugging slightly. “Fuck,” I suck harder, my cheeks hollowing out.

And then, because the universe hates me, Austin’s phone goes off. It was the ringtone he had for his dad, so I knew Austin would need to answer it.

“Alan, stop.”

I release with a popping noise. “Your dad?”

He nods. “I have to answer it.”

“You actually don’t.”

“He can only call during certain times because of work.” He unhooks the charger and grabs the phone.

“I’ll just wait here.”

“I’m sorry, Alan.” Austin answers the phone. “Hey dad.”

As Austin goes on answering questions, I get off the bed and make my way over to his backpack, he no longer was going to get head, instead; we were going to have sex. Austin looks over at me as he tells his dad about yesterday and how we went to the beach. Then Austin snaps his fingers to get my attention. “I’m not a servant, Austin.” I mumble and look at him. He rolls his eyes mouths ‘what are you doing?’ as his dad talks.

“Nothing.” I climb back into bed; I get my previous position, setting the condom and lube behind me where Austin couldn’t see it.

“Yeah, dad, I mean, it’s only been a couple of days.” Austin runs his hand through his hair and looks up my ceiling. I wasn’t sure what came over me, but I licked the underside of his dick. I kept my eyes on him the best I could. “Oh!” Austin looks down at me, eyes wide. I smirk a little and lick again. “Dad, I’m going to have to call you back, I love you.” Austin hangs up the phone and sets it on the table. “What are you doing? First the movie theatre, now this?”

I smile at him. “I told you that you didn’t have to answer the phone.”

-=-

“What do you want to do?” Austin asks as he traces shapes on my stomach with his pointer finger. “And don’t say sleep. We’re breaking this habit.”

I sigh. “I don’t know.” I didn’t want to take Austin to Disney today, I was hoping for Wednesday. “Want to go back to the beach and laugh at people?”

Austin laughs a little. “That sounds really mean, but I’m down for a lazy day.”

-=-

Austin and I were sitting on a towel near some volleyball courts. I never really got volleyball. Actually, the only sport I got was hockey and I stopped playing that in middle school.

“Are you looking at the cute boys?” I ask Austin and pull out my phone when I got a text from Justin.

Guess who just got a blowjob? This boy.

I laugh a little. guess who gave one this morning? This boy.

Austin looks over at me. “Now I am.”

I roll my eyes. “Cute.”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“In elementary school?”

Austin sighs. “I try to do cute couple-y things with you and this what I get.”

I lean against his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I think I’m getting heat stroke.”

“Did you put sunscreen on?” Austin asks, concerned.

I nod against his shoulder. “It’s just really hot. I’m used to freezing my ass off.”

“Let’s go get some ice cream then?”

-=-

“Natalie works here, or at least she used to.” I mention as Austin and I come up to a small ice cream shack.

“Maybe she still does?” Austin looks at me. “Want to see?”

I shrug. “Why not?”

Austin leads me into the small store, where we saw Natalie behind the counter. Her chocolate hair in a ponytail and a blue and green tie dyed shirt that read Tim’s Ice Cream Shack on it. “Alan?” She asks with a smile. “Is that you?”

I nod. “Hey.”

“I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Here I am.” I laugh. “Oh, this is my boyfriend, Austin.”

“The RA?” She asks looking him. “He’s even cuter in person.” She smiles.

“Uh, hi. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too.” She laughs. “You guys want some ice cream?”

-=-

Natalie took her break so she could eat some ice cream with us.

“So, there’s a party tonight.” She starts and moves her spoon around in the clear plastic cup. “You two should come.”

“Why is there always a party every time I come home?”

“It’s spring break, Alan. Last time was a coincidence.” She shrugs. “But anyway, it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know; every time I go to a party something bad happens.” The roof top: I threw up. The college party I went to with Natalie: I called Austin and he was with Shayley. Loniel's party: I kissed Bran. So obviously something terrible was going to happen.

“Please Alan? This isn’t a lame Ohio party, no offense, Austin, please?”

I look at Austin. “What do you think?”

“I don’t care, they’re your friends. I’m just here.”

I sigh. Thanks Austin. “I guess we could stop by for a little while.”


	40. forty

atalie had texted me the address of the house this party would be held in. It, of course, was at the house of a friend of my ex-boyfriend.

“I’m parking down the street, I’m not getting my dad’s car vandalized.” I sigh and pull several houses down and park across from a house where they would be able to get out of their driveway, even though we wouldn’t be staying long.

“Not arguing.” Austin looks over at me. “It’ll be fine, I know you’re worried. I won’t leave your side.”

“I just don’t understand why she thought this would be a good idea. Noah is obviously going to be here.” I sigh and lean my head on the steering wheel. I didn’t want to come, but Austin insisted because we told Natalie we had already promised her we would.

“It’ll be okay, Alan. It’ll probably be just as awkward for him as it will be for you.” Austin reaches out and rubs my back. “If you two even run into each other.”

-=-

“Alan!” Natalie cheers and hugs me. She obviously already had some alcohol in her.

“Hi, Nat.”

“Let’s get you two some drinks.” She smiles. “And then we can dance, and you two can find me a cute boy to fuck.”

“Oh wow.” I look back at Austin who laughed a little.

-=-

“What about him?” I point to a guy with dark hair and some tattoos. He was kind of tall.

She shakes her head. “No, not my type. I like them hot but stupid. He looks like he got a decent ACT score.”

“You’re really setting high goals for yourself.” Austin comments.

Natalie looks over at him. “I’m looking for a trophy husband.”

“What is that?”

Natalie laughs and puts her hand on Austin a little too flirtily, however, it was Natalie and she was drunk. “Like a trophy wife but reversed where I make all the money and my husband just works out all the time and goes shopping with my money and then fucks me senseless.”

“So you’re looking for a gay guy that will have sex with you?” Austin looks around.

“Obviously not.”

“Pretty sure you just described a stereotypical gay man, minus the sex part.” I add.

Natalie sighs. “Just find me a guy.”

“I’m going to get a drink, you want anything?” Austin asks.

I shake my head. "You know what I drink."

“Beer!” Natalie smiles.

“You’re cut off.” Austin sighs and makes his way towards the kitchen.

-=-

Eventually, we did find a straight man that met Natalie’s needs. So Austin and I shipped her off to some guy with bluish black hair.

“Now what do we do?” I ask Austin and take a drink of my coke.

Austin shrugs. “We could go have sober sex in someone’s bathroom.”

“You’re already drinking so thanks for ruining that.” I laugh.

“Half sober sex, then?”

I shake my head. “It’s weird in someone’s house.”

Austin scoffs. “But it’s not weird to give me a blowjob in a movie theatre or while I’m on the phone with my dad of all people.”

I shrug. “That didn’t involve my dick coming out.”

“You were naked this morning.”

“In my own house.”

-=-

Austin was nursing a beer and I was standing next to him, bored out of my mind. Occasionally Austin would ask who someone was, most of the time I knew, and if I didn’t, I’d just make up a name. It was entertaining.

Then I saw him, Noah.

Austin looked over at me. “That’s him, isn’t it?”

Austin didn’t know everything that happened between Noah and I. He didn’t intentionally hurt me. Noah was actually a decent boyfriend until he grew tired of me and broke up with me after our first (and only) fight at his senior prom.

I nod slightly. I didn’t want to talk, because if I talked, he might recognize me. I watched as a guy about his height walked over and hugged him tightly, then they shared a quick kiss, then released each other and interlocked their fingers and headed off somewhere.

I couldn’t help but feel my heart sink a little.

“Can we leave?” I ask Austin.

Austin looks at me. “I mean, if you want.”

-=-

I’m not really sure how I ended up crying into Austin’s chest over something stupid like my ex-boyfriend moving on when we broke up two years ago. I didn’t even have feelings for him anymore.

Austin was rubbing my back slowly, his hand making small circles.

“I’m sorry.” I whimper into his shirt.

“Shh, Alan, it’s okay.” He was so patient, so kind, perfect almost, the way he was dealing with this random and uncalled for outbreak. “Talk to me, what’s going on?”

“It’s just,” I sigh and wipe some tears away. “he was my first and I didn’t want to ever see him again after he broke up with me and fucking Natalie had to invite me to that stupid party.”

“Look at me.” Austin whispers. I sit up so I was straddling him, but not in a sexual way, if you can straddle someone without it being sexual. “It’s okay.” He cups my cheeks.

“It’s not okay, he’s not my boyfriend and I’m crying over him.” I sniff.

Austin sighs. “You’re allowed to be upset, Alan. Just because you’ve moved on doesn’t mean you can’t be reminded of happier times with someone, you know? He was your first boyfriend, he gave you your first kiss, he took your virginity, those are happy, sometimes awkward, memorable things, there are a ton of feelings with them. It would be foolish to think you could just push them aside just because you’re ‘over’ him, it’s been like a year a half since you’ve seen him. I’m not upset that you’re crying over him. I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to be here when you’re upset, even if it is over your ex-boyfriend.” Austin kisses my forehead. “Besides, I could totally beat him up if you tried to go back to him.”

I smiled a little. I would be absolutely stupid to try and find a better boyfriend than Austin.

-=-=-=-

I was taking Austin to Disneyland today and I wanted everything to be perfect and hopefully the universe and all of the deities in the world would be on my side because I just can’t fuck this up, especially after that near breakdown I had last night.

I had made Austin breakfast and was going to surprise him because sometimes I like being cliché and stupid.

As I nudged the cracked door with my hip, I’m met with a wide awake Austin on his phone.

“What are you doing?” He smiles and sets his phone down.

“Well I was hoping to wake you up with gentle kisses and then let you eat breakfast, but since you’re already awake...” I walk over and set the tray next to him. I was really hoping that he wouldn’t notice the huge ‘I <3 YOU MOM!’ written in pink paint on the tray. The only reason why we have this is so my dad and I can bring breakfast to my mom on mother’s day and her birthday.

“What did I do to deserve this?” Austin asks looking at tray.

I shrug and sit on the foot of the bed.

“Are you wearing a Disney shirt from 2006?” He asks with a laugh.

I nod. “We went for my birthday.”

Austin looks at me weird and then moves the tray so he could eat. “You made me waffles?”

“Don’t get too excited, they’re just the toaster kind.” I smile at him, waiting for him to comment on how they were placed to mimic a Mickey Mouse head.

“Why are they shaped like this?” He looks up at me and picks up a piece of bacon (that also was made in the microwave because I wasn’t about to start a grease fire or something.)

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

Austin rolls his eyes. “You’re obviously trying to tell me something.”

I sigh. “Look under your plate.”

Austin lifts up the plate to find a white envelope. “I’m confused.”

And you’re the smart one in this relationship. “Open it.”

He slides the envelope out and sets his plate down. “This is a cute tray.”

“Shut up.”

Austin laughs and opens the flap to the envelope and looks inside. “What…” He pulls out the two tickets and looks at them for a while. “Does this mean what I’m hoping it means?”

I nod. “We’re going to Disneyland!”

Austin’s smile gets wider. “I want to kiss you.”

I move to my side of the bed and crawl up to him. I quickly press my lips to his. “Thank you, Alan.” He kisses me again.

I smile a little when he pulls away. “Eat your breakfast.”

-=-

Austin was standing by the door waiting for me put my shoes on. “Alan!” He whines and jiggles the doorknob.

“Austin, I swear.” I sigh and quickly tie my shoe laces. “Do we have everything?”

Austin turns so I could see his backpack. “Sunscreen, our wallets, hand sanitizer,” Austin rolls his eyes.

“You roll your eyes now but wait until you touch something gross.”

“I’ll probably just wipe it on you anyway.”

I get off the couch. “You have the tickets, right?”

Austin holds up the envelope. “Right here!”

-=-

“Where should we go first?” Austin asks excitedly looking at his little map. He was so adorable; I’ve never seen him this excited.

“Well, we’re in the Main Street thing right now, so Adventureland is closest.” I knew we were going to be going to every land area while we here, I was just trying to make it easier by not having to cross the park eight hundred times.

Austin smiles over his map. “Let’s go.” He carefully folds the map and tucks it in the pocket on the side of his backpack, then holds his hand out to me.

-=-

Austin and I had just gotten off the Jungle Cruise.

“That was so much fun!” Austin kind of flails a little and grabs his map. “What’s next?”

I felt like I was dealing with a three year old. “Whatever you want to do.”

“Frontierland?” He asks.

“That sounds good.” Thankfully he didn’t want to go see that singing bird thing. That was my mom’s favorite and she dragged me there every single time and every time I wanted to cry it was so annoying.

Austin grabs my hand and drags me towards the path that led into Frontierland.

“This is going to be the best day.” He looks back at me and smiles.

-=-

Austin and I were currently walking back to the New Orleans square. We were making good time, we had been here for three hours and already been through two lands, but most importantly Austin looked so happy, the smile hadn’t come off his face yet.

“Can we go on the Haunted Mansion ride?” Austin asks as we get closer to it.

“Um, I guess.”

“If you’re scared we don’t have to. I’m not saying that like making fun of you, I’m serious.”

I shrug. “If I have nightmares, you’ll have to deal with me.”

Austin smiles. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

-=-

Austin and I were sitting in one of those weird chair things that take you through the ride.

“Scared yet?” He whispers.

I lean on his arm and hide my eyes. “Kind of.”

“Nothing scary has even happened.”

“Um that thing in the coffin was kind of weird.”

-=-

It turns out that it really wasn’t that scary, but I still held onto Austin for dear life, just because I could.

“You getting hungry?” Austin asks as he grabs my hand with his free hand, his other grasping that stupid map. Good thing he looks adorable when he’s concentrated.

“I’m not starving.” I shrug. "But a snack wouldn't hurt."

“Same.” He looks back at me. “Where should we go?”

“We could head over to Main Street and split a Mac and Cheese kids’ meal.”

Austin smiles. “That sounds good.”

-=-

“There’s so many interesting people and things.” Austin comments as he takes a bite of an apple slice that came with our kids’ meal. I bet he’s glad we brought hand sanitizer now.

I laugh a little. “You’re so adorable when you’re excited.”

“I’m not adorable all time?” He looks over at me with a fake frown on his face.

“Like 99% of the time, maybe.”

Austin smiles. “I’ll take it.”

“Good. Want some?” I hold out the mac and cheese to him.

-=-

“Where should we go next?”

“Well Tomorrowland and Fantasyland are the same distance so whichever one you want.”

“Tomorrowland then? Since you said it first.” Austin smiles.

“That’s fine with me.”

Austin grabs my hand and we head in the direction of Tomorrowland.

-=-

We had just gotten off the Star Tours ride.

“That was so awesome, Alan!”

I was never really into Star Wars but I knew Austin loved it. “I’m glad you’re having so much fun.”

He smiles and kisses me cheek. “You’re the best, you know that?”

I blush a little and look away. “Want to go see the Princesses?”

-=-

“We should get a picture with Cinderella and send it to your mom.” Austin smiles when he spots Cinderella talking to some children.

“Why would do that?” I look at him quizzically.

“So she could put it in your scrap book.” He laughs.

“Why would you encourage her behavior? You are an enabler.”

Austin grabs my hand. “It’s one picture; it’ll make up for that kissing picture she didn’t get to take.”

I sigh. “One picture.”

Austin leans and kisses me. “I also want copies of this.”

“You’re not going to put it in an embarrassing scrapbook so I don’t care.”

-=-

“You seem tired.” Austin was leaning on my shoulder. We had spent two hours alone in Fantastyland running all over the place trying to find Princesses so Austin and I could get pictures to send to my mom. Even though he promised to take only one picture. But I wasn’t going to say anything. Just as long as my mom only sees the one we took with Snow White.

“I am.” He laughs. “I don’t know how you have so much energy.”

“I’m not old like you.” I tease.

Austin laughs a little. “I’m only two years older than you.”

“You want to get going?” I ask.

“I guess we should, we’ve been here almost ten hours.” Austin mumbles.

“We can always come back.” I didn’t even know when that would be.

-=-

Even though Austin and I were both sweaty and gross, we were cuddling on the living room couch. And by cuddling, I mean that Austin was lying on top of me half asleep.

“Thank you again.” Austin gives me a tired smile.

I run my fingers through his hair. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you had fun.”

Austin leans down and kisses me. “Of course I had fun, I was with you.”


	41. forty one

The past two days had gone by in a blur, but now it was time to go back to shitty Ohio for the rest of the school year.

“I don’t want to leave.” Austin sighs as he zips up his duffle bag.

“I know, going back to Ohio from this is going to be terrible.”

“We should just not go back.”

I look up at him. “Who are you because you’re not Austin.”

“It’s me, just a sad me that doesn’t want to leave ever.”

-=-

“Your dad is picking us up, right?” I ask as we sit on the floor in our terminal.

Austin nods. “At nine.”

I sigh and lean against the wall. “I don’t want to go back to campus.”

“Dad said you could stay over if you wanted.” Austin smiles.

“I don’t really have a way to get back to campus so I guess I have to.”

Austin laughs. “That’s true.”

I look down when I feel my phone go off.

_Hey! Did you have an awesome time at the partyyyyyyyy??? It was from Natalie._

I sigh. _It was terrible, I saw Noah and his new boyfriend._

Austin looks over at me. “Justin?”

“Natalie.” I scoff.

“Are you mad at her?”

I nod. “Yeah, obviously.”

_…oh, I totally forgot he would be there, I’m sorry Alan. But ur over Noah right?? i mean yyou had Ashton there_

_You mean Austin?_

_ha yeahhh, he’s kind of weird. Like super hot but weird_

I roll my eyes. “Natalie thinks you’re weird.”

_how is he weird?_

“Says the alcoholic.” Austin mumbles and continues playing fruit ninja on his phone.

I stifled a laugh as Natalie message came through. _I mean he didn’t really say much, other than insult me, and he looks like he’s in a gang. He also probably sees a therapist._

_A gang? ___

__“She’s thinks you’re in a gang.”_ _

__Austin laughs. “Yeah, not me.”_ _

___the tattoos :|_ _ _

___so because someone has tattoos they’re in a gang? Also I don’t really get the therapist thing?_ _ _

__“I figured.”_ _

___he looks like he has anger issues. Just my opinion though, one that you’ll probably dismiss so w/e_ _ _

__Austin sometimes acted like he had anger issues, but he obviously had his problem under control. The only time he's ever acted on his anger was with Jerry._ _

___whatever, Natalie._ _ _

__I was so annoyed. She never used to act this way, ever. She used to be so nice and kind, never a bad thing to say about anyone. And now look at her._ _

__-=-_ _

__“Doing homework?” I ask Austin. I had fallen asleep._ _

__Austin shakes his head. “I’m deciding what classes I want to take next year.”_ _

__“Oh, what are you thinking?”_ _

__“Well since I’m taking my practicum over summer break,” Don’t remind me. “so I’m thinking about the Exploring Public History class, you know, it’ll be pretty easy, and since I’ve gotten most of my art classes out of the way, I’m thinking maybe taking the French Revolution class that’s offered this year. I wanted to take it my freshman year, but that didn’t work out, and for my other classes I’m going to see what my advisor thinks.”_ _

__“That sounds so terribly boring.”_ _

__Austin sighs. “What about you? Have you thought about what you want to take next year?”_ _

__“Not really.”_ _

__“Did you make an appointment with your advisor?”_ _

__I shake my head. “Were we supposed to?”_ _

__Austin sighs again, this time more dramatically. “Yes, Alan, they sent stuff out in both campus mail and email.”_ _

__“I haven’t checked either in a while.”_ _

__Austin gives me that ‘are you serious?’ look. “Really?”_ _

__I nod. “I forgot my email address and the mailboxes are too hard to get open.”_ _

__“Your email is literally AshbyA@central.mail, Alan.”_ _

__“Really?”_ _

__“Yes, it’s the same as your computer lab login ID.”_ _

__“Haven’t been to the computer lab, ever, Vince has a printer so.”_ _

__Austin shakes his head. “And the mail box opens with your student ID.”_ _

__“It does?”_ _

__“Yeah, you can pick the lock with it. I’ll show you when we get back.”_ _

__“Is that how you got into my room that one time?”_ _

__“Maybe.” He smiles._ _

__-=-_ _

__“Hey dad.” Austin smiles as we walk up to his dad’s car._ _

__“Son, Alan.” He smiles. “How was your trip?”_ _

__“It was amazing, dad.” Austin smiles Robert pops the trunk. “Alan took me to Disneyland, and we went to the beach, it was just awesome.”_ _

__“That sounds awesome.” He smiles. “I’m glad you two had such a good time.” Robert looks at Austin expectantly and he slightly shakes his head. I didn’t know what they were doing, so I figured I would just pretend like I didn’t see it. “How was meeting Alan’s parents?”_ _

__Austin laughs. “A lot better than I expected.”_ _

__-=-_ _

__Austin made me log in to my school email account, just so I could see that I had about fifty messages from my advisor asking me when I could come in to make a schedule for next year._ _

__“Email her.” Austin sighs and shoves his basketball shorts off._ _

__I tried not to look at Austin stripping in front of me. “What do I even say?”_ _

__“Apologize and tell her that you forgot to check your email for four months and that you can come in whenever she’s available.”_ _

__Austin walks over to the bed as I start typing the email. “Nope, step away from the bed.”_ _

__“What? Why?”_ _

__“Because if you come on this bed, this email is not going to get written. Stay over there.”_ _

__“I’m going to go talk to my dad, then.” Austin grabs his shorts off the ground. I wonder if this little conversation had anything to do with the exchange they had earlier?_ _

__“Fine.”_ _

__“Make sure that email is good, not just a couple of sentences.”_ _

__“Yes, father.”_ _

__-=-_ _

__Thirty minutes and one email later, Austin comes back in the room._ _

__“Can I get into my bed now?” He asks as he takes his shorts off again._ _

__I nod. “I got done with that email fifteen minutes ago.”_ _

__“Good.” Austin closes the door and then walks over to the bed and climbs in._ _

__“I guess.”_ _

__“Do you have any idea what you want to major in? Because she’s going to ask you.”_ _

__“Can I major in cuddling?” I ask._ _

__Austin smiles. “Well, no, but you can cuddle with me and we can talk about what you’re good at.”_ _

__-=-=-=-=_ _

__“Alan?” My advisor appears in her door._ _

__Today was the day of my appointment with my advisor and I still had no idea what I wanted to major in. The thought was scary, if I picked something that didn’t work, I would be screwed, I’d have to spend another year in school. And since I had no idea what I was even good at, that possibility was very real._ _

__I get up and follow her into her office. Every available space is filled with cows. Drawings of cows, cow stuffed animals, pillows with cows on them, everything thing had a cow on it._ _

__“You can sit right there.” She smiles and sits behind her computer. I sit on the chair that didn’t have a cow in it and look at her. I wasn’t really sure what to do, she wasn’t my normal advisor, apparently the old one got fired or quit. Either way I’m glad, she was a frigid bitch, and while Ms. Case was odd, she seemed warm and friendly. “I thought I was going to have to come get you.” She laughs._ _

__I shake my head._ _

__“Ah, well.” She rolls in her chair over to a file cabinet marked with an A. “Alan, Alan, Alan, found you!” She exclaims and pulls a folder out. “Alright, Alan.” She rolls back to her desk._ _

__She goes through the folder and types something into her computer. “Well, it looks like you’ve gotten most of your core classes out of the way, except your history, so we’ll need to do that.” She gets out a notepad with a couple of cartoon cows at the top and begins writing in black pen. Alan---history class_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__She looks up. “Have you thought about a major? I noticed that you don’t have one declared.”_ _

__I shake my head. “I don’t have any ideas.”_ _

__She taps her pen on her chin. “Well, what are you interested?”_ _

__I sigh. “I like animals.”_ _

__She nods and holds her pointer finger up to signal ‘one second’ she goes to her computer and types something quickly. “Have you thought maybe about zoology? You’re doing really well in biology, and you did well in ecology/environmental science. Math was iffy, but you passed.”_ _

__“Zoology?”_ _

__She nods. “Yeah, you know, like working in a zoo, you work with animals.”_ _

__“Like a vet?”_ _

__“Well, sort of. I mean, your grades in calculus were not exactly the level that they’re looking for, there’s a lot of math and science and all of those ridiculously hard subjects.” She sighs. “But, I’m thinking that maybe the conservation track would be amazing for you.”_ _

__“Really?” I never really thought about zoology or even majoring in a science at all. It always sounds hard and difficult._ _

__She nods. “Absolutely, we don’t kid in the Student Help Center.”_ _

__“Oh,”_ _

__“Now,” She moves some papers on her desk. “You have some stuff out of the way, so that’s good news. You’re going to be taking your first English, since your last advisor didn’t make you take it this year.” She sighs and writes it down. “Intro to Philosophy, you’ll need that, Genetics, Organic Chemistry I.”_ _

__“Is this for the whole year?”_ _

__She shakes her head. “Oh no, this is for your fall semester, you’ll come in right before winter break to do your spring semester. It’s a new system, personally, I think it’s a terrible idea, but I don’t make the rules.”_ _

__“Oh, okay.” That was a really stupid system._ _

__“So you finally get to pick a class.” She smiles._ _

__“Oh boy.”_ _

__She laughs a little. “US History to 1877 or Technology and Civilization, which is also a history class.”_ _

__I sigh. “I guess the US one.” I did okay in US History in high school, so I’m not really sure why I needed to take it again._ _

__“Alright, so it looks like your schedule for next year is going to be Genetics and US History on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and English, Chemistry, and Philosophy on Tuesdays and Thursdays! Congratulations!”_ _

__-=-_ _

__“You got your schedule for next year?” Austin smiles across from me at dinner._ _

__I nod and hand him the official copy that Ms. Case had given me once she finalized the placements. “She thinks I should go into zoology.”_ _

__Austin looks up from the paper. “Really?”_ _

__I sit down across from him. “Yeah.”_ _

__“Is that what you want to do?”_ _

__I shrug. “I’m not sure, I mean I might as well try it because I have no idea what I want to do.”_ _

__Austin nods. “I mean, you’re obviously good at science.”_ _

__“Not math.”_ _

__“Well, you have Justin and there are tutors, hopefully they won’t be sexually attracted to you.”_ _

__I smile a little. “I’m sure they won’t.” Things between Bran and I had become easier, he had apparently moved on, which made things less awkward between us._ _

__“And I can help you with History, if you need it.”_ _

__“Probably will.” I sigh. “I don’t see why I need to take a history class anyway, I already took US history and it has nothing to do with animals.”_ _

__“They want to make sure they know about your country, Alan.”_ _

__“Again, learned in high school.”_ _

__-=-_ _

__“Have you talked to Natalie?” Austin asks as he spins around in his chair._ _

__“Not since the airport.” I sigh and pull one of his pillows into my lap._ _

__“That was two weeks ago.” Austin points out._ _

__“Your point?”_ _

__“I just think that maybe you should talk to her? I mean she’s your closest friend in California and the end of the year is only a month away.”_ _

__“She’s a bitch.”_ _

__Austin sighs. “Just because she said some things about me is no reason to ruin a friendship.”_ _

__“It’s not just about you, she’s totally changed.”_ _

__“How?”_ _

__“Well she never used to drink that much, hardly ever, actually. She never used to want to have sex that much, you know? Obviously college is not a good fit for her emotionally, I mean she used to be so quiet and reserved and now she's not.”_ _

__“Okay well despite that, she’s still your friend.”_ _

__“Was my friend.” It may be a little dramatic, but she really pissed me off by the way she acted at the party, pretending like she didn’t know that Noah was going to be there, the things she said about Austin, her current behaviors. I have had enough._ _

__“Alan, school ends in a month, you refuse to talk to your only friend in California. Do you see the problem? I’m not going to be able to come see you, you won’t be able to come see me, I have no idea what’s going on with Justin but I can’t really see him being able to come see you all the time.”_ _

__“Whoa, back up. I can’t come see you?”_ _

__“Alan, it’s an internship. I’m going to be working all day everyday.”_ _

__I bit my lip and looked down. “So I don’t get to see you for three months? At all?”_ _

__Austin sighs. “We both have iPhones, we can iChat.”  
"That’s not the same.” I mumble._ _

__Austin gets up and walks over to his bed and sits next to me. “It’ll be okay.” He kisses my cheek. “Will it make you feel better if we go out tomorrow?”_ _

__“That’s not going to help me in July when I’m lonely as hell.”_ _

__“I’ll be lonely, too.” Austin leans on my shoulder. “We’ll be lonely together 2,700 miles away from each other.”_ _

__“That really doesn’t help.”_ _

__“I know, we’ll be okay though.” He presses a kiss to my shoulder and pulls away. “Anyway, about tomorrow? Can I take you somewhere?”_ _

__“If you want.”_ _

__“I want.” He laughs._ _

__“Where are we going?”_ _

__“It’s a surprise.” He smiles then gets up and walks back over to his chair._ _


	42. forty two

“Three months?” Justin asks from his bed.

I nod. “Yeah, this is going to be the worst summer ever.”

Justin rolls his eyes. “I can come visit you, you can come visit me. I mean I’m not Austin, but I will have to suffice.”

“What about Andy?” I ask.

“I can’t spend all summer with him. I mean I like him a lot, but three solid months? No. It was hard being with him every day during spring break.”

“Are you going to break up with him?” I ask with a hint of concern.

“Did you miss the part where I said I like him a lot?” Justin rolls his eyes. “Oh, I have some Shayley drama to tell you.”

I nearly run over to his bed. “What?” I sit next to him.

“Well, Jacob was on the phone with him last night, and he was giggling. It was so awkward.”

“Really?”

Justin nods. “He was like ‘you’re so funny’ and then giggled, I mean why would Shayley make you giggle? He’s so no.”

“How do you know it was Shayley?”

“Because he answered the phone ‘Hey Shayley’ I mean how many Shayleys do you know?” Justin sighs. “All this time, I had no idea he was gay.”

“Maybe he’s bi-curious? I mean Shayley would be the perfect person to experiment on because he doesn’t like relationships and he opens his legs to anyone.”

“Your cattiness makes me happy.” Justin laughs. “But I thought you two were friends now?”

I shake my head. “Pretend friends, just to make Austin happy. He’s still a shitty person.”

Justin laughs. “Well maybe now that Shay has his sights on my roommate, which is awkward, he’ll leave Austin alone.”

“He better, I really don’t have time to be watching him, you know? I have to take Organic Chemistry next year and that’s going to put a damper on the amount of time I can spend on making sure that Shayley isn’t flirting with my boyfriend.”

“You’re taking Organic Chemistry, too? Do you have Phillips?” Justin asks excitedly.

“I’m pretty sure.”

“We’re in the same class!”

“No way.” I smile.

“Yes way!”

“This is perfect because you can help me.”

-=-

Justin and I decided to go back to my room, partly because Jake showed up looking annoyed and partly because we knew Vince would be gone at his Dungeons & Dragons meeting thing until at least seven.

“So Monday is that housing thing.” Justin sighs.

“Really?” I had forgotten.

He nods. “We’re still going for TRAC right?”

“If you want.”

“I want. Because Phil is staying here, so that’s good.”

“I don’t understand what your problem with him is. I mean Phil is nice and a good RA, so why are you always dreading being around him?” I ask with a laugh from my desk.

Justin shrugs from his place at Vince’s desk. “He’s just annoying like he cares too much and it’s aggravating. Like if you slam your door, here comes Phil. Talk a little too loudly in the hallway, here comes Phil to tell you to keep it down.”

“He’s just doing his job.”

“Austin doesn’t act that way.” Justin counters.

“That’s because Austin is too busy with me to worry about stupid stuff like that.”

Justin sighs as my door opens. “Hi friends.” Austin smiles and walks in, closing the door behind him. “What are we talking about?”

“That housing thing on Monday.” I smile as he walks over and kisses me quickly.

He leans against my desk. “Still going to TRAC?”

“Hopefully.”

Austin smiles. “I think you’ll like it there.”

“Did you live there?”

Austin shakes his head. “No, but Anouk lived over there, she liked it.”

Justin gets up. “Well this was fun while it lasted, I’m going to call Andy, have fun tonight you two.”

“Does he know where we’re going?” I ask as Justin closes the door behind him.

“No, only I do.” Austin smiles then looks at the microwave clock. “We still have a couple of hours to kill.”

“Want to go eat dinner?”

“No!” Austin exclaims. “I mean, no, I’m not really hungry.”

“We’re obviously going to eat something, Austin. I’ve guessed it, I don’t know where we’re going or what we’re eating, but I guessed it.”

Austin sighs. “You’re right.”

-=-

“You’re not going to blindfold me are you?”

Austin shakes his head. “No, but only because it is quite a long drive.”

I opened the door to his car. “Can’t you just tell me where we’re going?”

Austin smiles. “No, get in the car.”

“What if I don’t? I want to know where we’re going.”

“That’s fine, you can just stay here and I’ll go. It’s a surprise.” Austin shrugs and opens his car door.

I sigh. “Fine.”

-=-

Austin pulls up to structure surrounded by a sketchy green gate. There were a few cars in front of us and I noticed that one pull up behind us.

“I don’t feel safe.” I commented.

“You’re fine, Alan.” Austin sighs and pulls up when the car in front of us moves.

“Where are we?”

Austin points to my right. I look where his finger was to see Starlite Drive-In written in white on a midnight blue sign.

“I didn’t even know these existed anymore.” I smile.

“It’s the last one around here.” Austin pulls up and pays for our tickets. "That's why we drove up to where my dad lives."

“What are we seeing?”

“Oz: The Great and Powerful.. I know you think James Franco is cute.” Austin smiles.

“You think he’s cute too.”

“I do, but no one is as cute as you.” Austin drives in and pulls to where the compact cars go.

-=-

“I’m going to go get us some food because you’re starting to nibble on your lip so you’re obviously hungry.”

“You’re leaving me here?” I sigh.

“I’ll be gone for like ten minutes. Lock the doors and sit here. No one is going to get you, Alan.”

“You don’t know that.”

Austin leans over the center console and kisses my cheek. “I’ll be back. Pepperoni or cheese?”

“Cheese so I can kiss you without you having a reaction.” I smile. His pepperoni allergy was slowing ruining my life.

“Perfect.”

-=-

Austin comes back right around ten minutes later with a small box. I could see the top of a popcorn bag peeking out of the top as well as two black straws next to it. I unlock the door and lean across the console to open the door for Austin.

“Look at you making my life easier.” Austin smiles. That was pretty much the first thing he ever said to me, other than asking my name. I couldn’t help but get tiny flutters in my stomach. I’m not really sure why they appeared at those words, maybe it was it because of the words themselves or maybe it was some other reason. I'm not sure, all I know is that I have flutters.

“Just trying to help.” I give him a small smile and watch as he sets the box on the center console.

“I got you Mountain Dew.” Austin smiles and hands me a large, blue cup with Pepsi written on the side.

Austin puts his own cup in the cup holder next to mine. “And cheese pizza, and popcorn, of course.” He smiles. “You want to eat now or wait?”

“Now, obviously.”

-=-

“Open your mouth I want to see if I get this piece of popcorn in it.”

Austin laughs and opens his mouth so I can throw the piece of popcorn. I’m way off, but Austin moves his head a little to try and catch it. He doesn’t.

“Boo!” I laugh.

“I’ve never been good at that.” Austin smiles. “Let’s try you?”

-=-

“What did you think?” Austin asks as we wait for everyone to leave, Austin had told me that he didn’t want to ruin this night with road rage.

“I liked it; I mean obviously two hours of James Franco helped that quite a bit.” I smile. “Did you like it?”

Austin nods. “Yeah, it was good.” Austin places our box of trash in the back seat and then starts to pull out of parking lot area.

“Are we going back to school now?” I ask.

Austin shakes his head. “One more stop.”

-=-

Austin pulled up on a sketchy mountain looking area and parked towards the edge of the mountain. I wasn’t even sure if it was mountain. It might have been a very large hill.

“Are you going to murder me?” I ask and look over at him after he parks his car.

Austin looks over at me. “You’ve figured it out.”

“Wh-what?”

“I was kidding, Alan.” Austin laughs. “Did you really think I was going to kill you?”

“No!” I exclaim.

“Good, now let’s go.” Austin opens his door and walks around to the hood of the car. I sigh and get out and walk over to him.

-=-

We had been sitting on the hood of Austin’s car for about fifteen minutes, looking at the lights that surrounded Austin’s neighborhood.

“Um,” Austin clears his throat.

I look over and give him a small smile. “You okay?”

He nods. “I actually need to talk to you.”

“Oh?”

Austin turns and looks at me. “So um, we haven’t been like dating for like a super long time, but um, the, the two months that we have been dating have been amazing and even before then, hanging out with you and getting to know you. Your quirks and all of the cute things you do, like how you drool when you sleep and the way you’re so dramatic all the time, even when there’s no need for it and the way you fit perfectly against me when we cuddle.” Austin stops and smiles. “And how you don’t have a filter and how you roll your eyes, and how you nibble your lip when you're hungry and your smile, I really like your smile.” Austin grabs my hand. “I know none of that probably makes sense to you, but it makes sense to me.”

I looked at him; I probably looked confused, honestly. I didn’t know where this was going.

“I love you.”

I could feel myself blink slowly. The words came out of Austin’s mouth so perfectly, his voice making them sound seventy million times better than they would’ve sounded from anyone else. I’m not sure if there’s a definition for love, and I knew that I had never been in love, but Austin made me feel different. Different from the way I felt with Noah, different from the way I felt with Jerry. I cared about Austin more than I cared about anyone else in the whole world. When he was happy, I was happy. When he’s sad, I’m sad. I loved the way he held me at night, the way he held my hand all the time, the way he made me feel like I could do anything, how he always believes in me and encourages me to do better. So I guess I did love him. I just never thought about it, I hadn’t really planned on saying it yet, or thought about saying it yet or even saying it. It had only been two months since Austin asked me to be his boyfriend.

Austin was still looking at me, I think he was starting to worry because I had been staring at him for five minutes, probably with a weird look on my face.

I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips. “I love you, too.”

-=-=-=-=-=

I woke up in Austin’s bed at his dad’s house, only in a pair of shorts that I was guessing to be Austin’s. I could feel some finger tips tracing small patterns on my skin, breath on my neck, and a body pressed up against my back. Obviously it was Austin, I could tell by the long torso and by how long his legs were.

“You awake?” Austin asks quietly, still drawing on my skin.

“I am but I want to sleep more.” I mumble.

Austin kisses the back of my neck. “Mmm, we have to get back to campus.”

I turn so I’m facing Austin. “Why?”

Austin leans down and kisses me softly, gently moving his lips against my own, his hand on my hip. It was in a way, gross, because we both had morning breath and we both probably had eye crusties but it was okay. I couldn’t be mad or disgusted waking up next to Austin. He pulls back. “I have to work tonight and you have homework.”

I sigh. “What time is it?”

“About eleven.”

“Why did we come here?”

Austin laughs. “You fell asleep in the car so I just decided to bring you here.”

I smile. “Sorry.”

Austin smiles a little, too. “It’s okay. You look cute when you sleep.”

“I bet you do, too, but I don’t watch you sleep, so.” I laugh.

-=-

“Where’s your dad?” I ask as Austin sets a plate stacked with three pancakes and a couple pieces of bacon on the side in front of me.

“He had a bowling tournament last night, probably got drunk, so my guess is that he’s at Chip’s house.” Austin sets a plate down where he was going to sit.

“Your dad actually knows someone named Chip?” I ask and grab my fork and knife.

Austin laughs. “Yeah, he’s practically my uncle. I’ve known him since I was a baby.”

I smile and take a bit of the pancakes. “I bet you were a cute baby.”

Austin nods. “I mean not to brag or anything but I was super adorable. I had a mullet for a while and was just in general cute.”

“I don’t doubt it. You’re still cute.”

Austin smiles. “Did you have bright orange hair when you were a baby?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes.”

Austin laughs a little. “I bet that was adorable.”

-=-

“Did you get your schedule?” I ask Austin as I climb onto his bed. He was currently peeling his black Slipknot shirt off.

Austin nods. “It’s on the desk in the folder with the bulldog on it.”

“I’m not getting up.”

Austin sighs and walks over to the desk and grabs the folder, then tosses it on the bed. “There princess.”

“Thanks.” I mumble. “Did you get this folder from the school?”

Austin nods as he gets a pair of underwear out of his drawer. “Yeah, my advisor gave it to me.”

“I didn’t get one.” I pout and pull out his schedule.

“Maybe because I got graduation stuff too?” Austin shrugs. “I don’t know; it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Still.” I look over his schedule, two history classes, one art class, and a cooking class. “Why are you taking a cooking class?”

Austin laughs. “I needed another class, it sounded easy.”

“You’ll make me food, right?” I ask hopefully.

Austin nods as he shoves his jeans and boxers down at the same time. “Of course, I already do.” He picks his discarded clothes away and slides his new underwear on. Fuck.

“You should take those off.” I close his folder and set it aside.

Austin smirks. “I wish I could, but I have to get going.” Austin turns and grabs a pair of clean black jeans with the same amount of holes in them and slides them on carefully. “And then I have homework.”

I sigh and get off his bed and walk over to him. “I have homework, too, but isn’t that why Sundays exist?”

Austin grabs my hips and pulls me closer to him. “Maybe just a little,” He kisses the tip of my nose. “but I have to work tomorrow, too.”

“Monday?”

“Housing thing, remember? I have to be there all day, except lunch and dinner.”

“This isn’t fair.”

“Tuesday, I’m all yours.” Austin leans down and kisses me. “I have to go or I’m going to be late.” He kisses me again, even quicker, just a peck. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Austin smiles and then lets his hands slip from my hips. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your room.”

“Such a gentleman.”

-=-

I woke up on Monday with my homework done along with three optional extra credit assignments done. One in biology, two in Anthropology.

When I got back from my shower I looked at my phone to see two new messages, both from Austin.

Don’t forget---upcoming sophomores go at 7, but you can come see me before then.

I’m sorry but phil just informed me that we have to eat lunch earlier, so I can’t eat lunch with you. I’m sorry. ): 

I sighed and applied my deodorant, then slipped a shirt over my head. I didn’t really care which one.

it’s okay, it’s phil’s fault. Tell him im mad at him 

-=-

Class went by quickly, partly because we got early because of the Housing ordeal. Apparently it’s a pretty big deal and the college treats it like it’s a holiday or some shit. I was just glad to get out of class.

Justin twirls his spaghetti around his fork. “He told you that he loves you?” Justin’s eyes get wide.

I nod. “Yeah, on a mountain-like thing up where his dad lives.” I smile, remembering Friday night.

Justin squeals. “That’s so cute. When is the wedding?”

I roll my eyes. “No plans yet, but I’ll let you know.”

“Did you tell your mom yet?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because she would start crying and honestly, I really don’t have the time or the patience for that.”

Justin laughs. “I don’t blame you.”

-=-

“Wait to head over to the gym early so I can see Austin?” I ask Justin. “They said we should go over there early anyway to register.”

Justin sighs. “I guess.”

Justin and I had spent the time between lunch and now going over what we had and who was going to bring what if we had doubles.

“Come on, get up.”

-=-

“Name?” Austin looks up at me and smiles.

I roll my eyes. “You obviously know my name.”

Austin writes Alan Ashby in the correct area on the form. “You’re no fun.” He laughs. “Student number?”

I sigh. “05896.”

Austin smiles. “And you know who you want to room with? Justin right?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

Austin writes down Justin Trotta on the paper. “And do you have any food allergies?”

“What?”

“I was kidding.”

“You aren’t very funny.” I look at him as he initials at the bottom.

“That was uncalled for; I could just give you a terrible number to make you angry.” Austin slides the paper over to me and hands me the pen. “Sign.”

I quickly scribble my name and slide the paper back over to Austin. “That’s really sloppy, you should work on your penmanship.” Austin takes a card and writes my number on it.

“You should really work on not being mean to your boyfriend.”

Austin sticks his tongue out at me. “Hold on to this card.” He then grabs a packet of papers. “Fill this out and bring it back to me when you’re done, I have to check you off.”

“What is it?”

“It’s your meal plan and housing agreement form as well as a survey or something and there’s information about closing in there, you can just detach that part though.”

“I’ll come see you in like two minutes.”

Austin stands up and leans across the table. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I know, you and stupid work and homework and this stupid thing.”

Austin leans in and presses a quick, chaste kiss on my lips. “I have to get to other people, but we can hang out after, okay?”

“I thought you couldn’t until Tuesday.”

“For a few minutes after this I can.”

“Okay,”

Austin smiles. “Now go.”

-=-

“We’re officially roommates!” Justin hugs me tightly. “Sophomore year is going to be the best!”

“I hope so!” I wiggle out of his grip, I wasn’t planning on suffocating right now.

“I’m kind of annoyed we’re on the third floor, but at least the RA’s room is on the first floor.”

“Who is our RA?”

Justin shrugs. “Some guy named Alex, I think.”

“Hm, sounds boring.”

“Well not every RA is going to look like Austin.” Justin laughs. “You kind of got lucky there.”

“I guess I kind of did.” I smile.

-=-

Austin grabbed my hand and leads through a door and into a room that only held a staircase. “Where are we going?” I ask in a whisper. “And don’t say it’s a surprise.”

Austin laughs, but doesn’t say anything. Instead he leads me down the stairs, until we reach a lower floor that I didn’t even know existed.

“What is this?”

“The old pool is down here.”

“I bet this place is haunted.” I mumble as he opens another door.

The pool lacked water and instead held old furniture, most of it looked ancient. There were bookcases, chairs, couches, tables, lamps. It was definitely eerie.

“What if there’s an ax murderer down here?” I ask as Austin stops walking.

“There isn’t.”

“How do you know? It could happen I mean th---”

Austin cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine and pushing me against the dirty cement wall with his hands on my hips. He wiggles his tongue against my lips and I open to let him in, our tongues move together as Austin presses his hips against mine, causing a small noise to escape from my mouth. I could feel Austin smile and honestly, that just made things worse. He moves his fingers under my shirt and pushes it up above my belly button; he lets his hands roam all over the exposed skin before moving his left hand down to my pants and popping the button. Austin kisses me harder as he unzips my jeans. Then he pulls away and looks at me, a smirk on his lips.

Austin then drops his knees slowly and tugs my jeans and boxer briefs off at the same time. It’s only a few seconds before his hands are pushing me against the wall further. “Aust---” Then all I feel is hot, wet, ecstasy. Austin was sucking and moving his lips, my hand was in his hair, gripping it hard.

“Austin,” I pant.

Austin sucks harder, moving one hand to hold my base to hold me in place.

“I’m close.”

Austin hollows his cheeks as I cum.

-=-

After I had returned the favor to Austin, we stood awkwardly in the basement/pool area with our pants down just cuddled together.

Austin pulls away suddenly.

“What?” I ask sleepily.

“I hear someone.” He moves back and pulls up his pants, I do the same quickly. “Stay there.” He lowers his voice and points.

Austin walks towards the door and looks out the small window. “We’re okay, it’s just Phil.” He sighs and holds his hand out for me to take. I walk up and take it and he leads me out of the door.

“What Phil?” Austin asks with a bit of an attitude.

“Well, you’re supposed to be helping upstairs, so I decided to come and find you.” Phil looks over at me.

“You found me.” Austin sighs.


	43. forty three (final)

Trying to pack shit you’ve accumulated since September is hard, especially when you have nowhere to put it.

“Why did you bring so many pencils?” Justin sighs and drops yet another unopened package of twelve mechanical pencils into the box.

“I bought some, my mom bought some; they ended up here. I’m not really sure.” I sighed. I had a little less than two weeks to pack all this shit up and get it ready to go before my parents showed up to whisk me back to California, where I would be 2,700 miles away from Austin.

Justin grabs some notebooks and sets them in the box, moving things around a little before applying a piece of packing tape on the top of the box and writing Alan’s endless supply of pencils and paper on the side in purple sharpie; his idea, not mine. “Please do not buy anymore pencils.”

“I can assure you that I won’t, my mom, however, is another story.”

“I will tell April Ashby not to.” Justin says as he slides the box in the corner with the collection of other boxes I had. “Because let’s be honest, you don’t need any more pencils, I think forty-eight will suffice.”

“I’m not arguing.” I laugh.

“What else do I need to help you with?”

I look around; mostly everything that I didn’t use had been packed away. “Nothing at the moment.”

“Good.” Justin nods. “I’m going to go call Andy for a while, then we go get dinner if Austin’s busy or whatever.”

“Or Austin could just come with us, unless you don’t want him to.”

“I don’t care.” Justin laughs.

-=-

“When are you going to start packing?” I ask as Austin sets his backpack on his desk.

“I have to stay an extra week since I’m an RA and make sure that everyone left, you know? So might as well do it after Tino leaves so I have more space.”

I bite my lip. “Oh,”

Austin sits on his bed. “Yeah, did you start packing?”

“My class was canceled today so I spent all day packing and then when Justin got out of class he helped me a little bit.”

“That’s good.” Austin smiles and reaches his hands out to me. I take them and he pulls me closer. “Can we talk?”

I nod and sit next to him, my hands still grasped by Austin’s. “What about?”

“The summer.”

I sigh and move a little but to get more comfortable. “What about it?”

Austin runs his thumb over mine. “Well we aren’t going to be able to see each other.” I give him a little nod to tell him he could go on and I understood him. “I just want to know how you’re doing with that.” Austin sighs. “I’m sorry if this is dumb, Phil suggested it.” He gives me a small smile.

“Obviously I’m going to miss you.” I start, looking in his eyes. “But there’s nothing we can do about it. You have your internship which is important and you’ve worked so hard for it, and I can’t come visit you because you won’t let me.” I sigh.

Austin smiles a little. “It’s not that I won’t let you, I just think that if you did, you would be terribly bored because I would be working all the time, I got my schedule yesterday, I’m working a forty hour week plus training. Plus, I know you don’t like walking or doing anything requires effort and I won’t have my car so,” Austin smiles.

I roll my eyes. “Very cute.”

“Just like you.” Austin leans in and kisses me. "But you're okay other than that? Like you do realize that I want to be with you right? Like I don't want to break up or go on a break or whatever. I mean, a long distance relationship is going to be hard, but I think we can do it."

I nod. "I don't want to break up either. You can call me when you're done with work and I can sext you and it'll be okay." I give him a small smile.

"I don't know if sexting is the best idea, but I like calling thing."

I roll my eyes. "Don't even lie, you would love getting sexts while you're working."

Austin shakes his head. "I'm not saying anything because that will give you ideas." Austin laughs. “Let’s cuddle?”

I smile and nod. He was getting sexts. I don't care what he says.

-=-

I must’ve fallen asleep in Austin’s embrace, it was kind of hard not to when you feel so comfortable with someone and they smell like heaven and keep you warm, it’s inevitable, you’re going to fall asleep on them.

“What are you reading?” I ask quietly.

“Text book. I’m going over the first couple of chapters for the final.”

“Oh that sounds like fun.”

He nods. “Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yeah, it was okay.”

“I can tell because there’s drool on my arm.”

“Shut up, that is not drool, you obviously poured water on your arm to make a point.”

Austin looks down at me. “How would I manage that? I don’t have any water over here and getting up would wake you up.”

“Maybe you spit on your own arm because I do not drool.”

“Whatever you say, pumpkin.” Austin goes back to ready his book and I’m not really sure if I should be flattered or annoyed by him calling me pumpkin.

-=-

“What are you doing over break?” Austin asks Justin before he dips his French fry in the ketchup on his plate.

Justin sighs. “Well, Andy will be back home so I’ll probably spend some time with him, and then I’m going to visit Alan for two weeks in July.”

“That sounds fun and I’m obviously jealous of you getting to spend two weeks with Alan.” Austin smiles.

“Well maybe if you didn’t have that lame internship.” Justin counters.

“Well, I’d like to get a job after college.” Austin takes a bite of his French fry. “So, no matter how lame, I have to do it.”

-=-

Austin had just pushed in, pressing tiny kisses against my lips and all over my face. This was the first time we had had actual sex since he told me he loved me. That awkward blowjob in the commons basement didn’t count.

The fingers on his right hand were intertwined with the fingers on my left, and every time he would thrust, his hand would move against my own. It was a new type of contact; no one had ever held my hand during sex before.

Austin drags his tongue from my neck to my lips and licks them a little. “I love you.” He whispers against them, slowing his thrusts down considerably, before stopping all together. He then flips us the best he could on the small twin mattress. I really can’t wait until he has that big bed next year. “What?” I ask quietly. I didn’t have time for guessing games right now. “You’re on top.” He smirks. "Get moving."

-=-

Waking up next to Austin is one of my favorite things in the whole world, especially when we wake up before my alarm clock goes off so Austin doesn’t get annoyed. We have time to just talk and cuddle and be stupid. I was dreading summer. Three months without kisses. Three months without hugs. Three months without hand holding. Three months without Austin.

“What are you thinking about?” Austin asks as he presses a kiss to my cheek.

“You.”

“Good things?”

“Not really.” I turn so I could see his beautiful face and messy hair.

“Uh oh.” Austin sighs. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just really going to miss you.”

Austin brings his hand up to my cheek and rubs his thumb softly along my cheek. “I’m going to miss you, too.”

-=-=-=

This is the last morning I would be waking up next to Austin for three whole months. Austin didn’t try to keep me away from him for the two weeks; instead he insisted on me spending the night and encouraged me to study in his room while he studied for his own finals. He helped me with my homework when I didn’t understand it and helped me color different cells and organs for biology.

“What time is your final again?” Austin asks.

I looked over at the clock. It was eight in the morning. “In an hour.”

Austin sighs. “And then what?”

“I wait for you to get out of your final, then we go to lunch with my parents.” I kiss his cheek. “Then we load up the car and I have to leave.” I mumble the last part, not wanting to even hear it.

“You better get ready, then we’ll go over your flashcards.” Austin mumbles.

-=-

“What is a stem cell?” Austin asks me as I run a brush through my hair.

“An unspecialized that can self-renew by mitosis.”

I look over at Austin who was smiling. “You’re going to slay this exam, Alan.”

“I hope so.” I give him a small smile back. I couldn’t be happy, not today.

-=-

“Good luck.” Austin smiles when we reach the door to the science building.

“Thanks, Ausy.”

“My little science major.” He smiles.

“My tall history and art major.” That didn’t sound as cute, but it would have to do.

Austin smiles. “You need to get in there and I need to get going.” He leans down and kisses me. “I love you, you’re going to do amazing.”

“I love you, too.” I lean up and kiss him quickly. I couldn’t kiss him enough today. “You’re going to do really well, too. I can feel it.” I smile.

“First I have to get there. My classroom is 305, okay?”

I nod. “I’ll be there as soon as I’m finished.”

-=-

I was sitting in the Humanities building waiting for Austin to get out of class. I felt my phone buzz and maneuvered it out of my pocket.

What time should your dad and I come to get you and Aus?

I sighed.

He’s still taking his exam, I’ll let you know when he’s done.

A door opened across the hall, but it wasn’t Austin. I leaned my head against the wall and waited. I wanted him to do good on his exam, but at the same time I wanted him to hurry and finish it so I could be with him.

-=-

“Hey.” Austin smiles when he comes out of the classroom.

I get up and hug him tightly. “How was it?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to jinx it.” Austin laughs. “You?”

“It was alright.”

"I'm sure you did amazing." Austin grabs my hand and leads me out of the building.

-=-

“So when do you leave for your internship, Austin?” My dad asks after we get seated at the pizza place, the one Austin took me to on that double date with Pen and Tino.

“A week and a half.” Austin sips some coke out of the straw and looks at my dad.

“Are you excited, dear?” My mom asks.

Austin nods. “Yeah, it’ll be different, but it’s an amazing opportunity.” Austin looks down. “I only wish it were closer to Alan, you know?”

I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks warm.

My mom smiles. “That’s precious; look at my baby over there blushing.” My mom coos.

“Mom.” I sigh.

“Did I embarrass my baby?”

“When don’t you?” I grab my coke and take a drink.

-=-

“Oh wow, baby, you already packed all your stuff?” My mom asks, shocked.

“I told you I did.” I looked at the room; Vince still had his boxes on his bed and on his desk. He truthfully didn’t have that much stuff anyway.

“Well I was expecting some stuff to be out. Did you pack your bed stuff this morning?”

I shake my head. “Like a couple days ago. I’ve been staying in Austin’s room.”

Austin gives me the ‘I can’t believe you just said that’ look and then looks at his feet.

“Oh,” My mom walks over and starts inspecting the boxes. “well, I guess we better get this going.”

-=-

“Your mom and I will take these last few boxes down.” My dad smiles. “Give you and Austin a couple minutes alone.” My dad waits as my mom hugs Austin, wishing him well this summer and telling him she can’t wait to see him next year. Austin smiles and thanks her, then shakes my dad’s hand before my dad nudges my mom towards the door.

Austin sighs and grabs my hand. “I’ve been dreading this for the past week.”

I nod. “Me too.”

“Like, I don’t know what to even say, I’ve never had to do this.” Austin runs his free hand through his short hair. I loved that hair, I think that’s the only reason why he kept it, because I knew that he wasn’t exactly a fan of it, which I never understood, but that’s another story.

“Same.” I laugh.

Austin smiles. “We’re each other’s firsts then.”

I look up at him, trying to etch his face in my mind. Even though I had pictures upon pictures on my phone of him and we would of course Skype every night, it’s not the same. I couldn’t see his light freckles through a computer, I couldn’t see the way the light hit his nose ring, or his darkness of his eyes. “Yeah, I guess.” In a lot of ways, Austin was my first. The first guy that was my friend before we started dating, the first guy to hide his feelings for me, the first guy that I actually liked that I had sex with outside of a relationship. And he’s my first love. The first person to actually like me enough to fall in love with me. He looked past my flaws, like my drooling, which I know I do, I just like to mess with Austin, and my annoyingness. And if we’re being honest, he’s the first guy I’ve liked enough to look past their flaws, like the atrocious smelling farts that he lets when we’re sleeping, his disgusting love of ketchup, and how he likes to take me scary places and makes me watch scary movies. But somehow, we worked.

Austin leans in and kisses me gently, our lips just resting on each other’s, there was no ‘I need to take your clothes off right now’ feeling behind it; it was just a kiss full of love and a hint of sadness. He pulls back and awkwardly rests his forehead against mine and brings the free hand to rest on my neck, caressing right under my jaw line.

“I love you so much, Alan.” I could hear the sadness and hurt in his voice, but there was nothing I could do because I felt the same way.

I felt the tears start to prick at my eyes. “I love you, too, Austin.”

Austin pulls back and lets go of my hand, moving it to match his other hand. “Don’t cry, pumpkin.” I wanted so badly to roll my eyes at that stupid nickname, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even smile at its stupidness. “If you cry, I’ll cry.”

“I guess you’re crying then.” I mumble as I feel a couple tears roll down my face.

-=-

After Austin let me cry all over his shirt for a minute or two, then he pulled away from me and led me to his room.

“What are we doing?” I ask as I wipe the tears that Austin didn’t get off when he wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.

Austin opens his drawer and pulls one of his t shirts off. “It’s my favorite shirt; I want you to keep it over the summer.”

I smile and hold it up. It was black Slipknot shirt with a picture of the band on it. I didn’t know it was his favorite, he did wear it a lot, though. “Really?”

Austin smiles. “Yeah, I mean I know it’s dumb but it’ll kind of be like I’m there?”

I lean up and kiss him. “Come on, I’ll get you one of mine.” This is one of the many reasons why I love Austin. His thoughtfulness and how he mixes it in with his creativity. I would have never thought of that. The only real thing that I could cuddle with was Sittins, the cat that he won me at the family fun center, but now I have something of his to cuddle with when I'm feeling lonely or sad.

I grab Austin’s hand and reluctantly lead him to the elevators.

-=-

I extend my Slayer shirt to Austin. “Be careful with it, it’s starting to rip.”

Austin smiles. “Of course I will.”

I sigh. “I guess I have to leave.” I close the hatch on the Cr-V and look at Austin.

Austin nods. “Yeah, you have a long drive.”

I bite my lip. “I’ll Skype you when I get to the hotel?”

Austin smiles a little. “Yeah, I’ll be waiting.” Austin pulls me into him, wrapping his long arms around me. “Text me while you’re in the car, too. All the weird things you see on the way, all the embarrassing things your parents say. All of it.”

I nod into his chest. “I will.”

He pulls back, tears in his eyes and honestly it made leaving him twenty times worse. He leans and kisses me with the same kind of kiss from my room, full of love and full of sadness.

“I love you.” I tell him when ends the kiss.

“I love you more.” Austin smiles then backs up a few steps and opens the backdoor. “Come on.”

I sigh walk towards the car door. “Bye.” I kiss him quickly and then climb in.

“Bye, have a safe trip.”

“Have fun in Assington, D.C.”

“Alan Anthony Ashby, watch your mouth.” My mother exclaims.

Austin smiles as he closes the car door, but I could tell it was fake.

-=-

After driving nearly four hours, we ended up where we would be staying for the night: Terre Haute, Indiana.

I grabbed my backpack and the duffle bag I had packed for the ride home and waited for my mom to walk over to my dad and I after she booked the rooms.

“Our rooms are connected by a door.” My mom states and hands me a room key. “214.” She smiles.

“Thanks mom.”

-=-

“Where are you?” Austin asks as he spins around in his desk chair.

“Terre Haute? I didn’t know this place existed until twenty minutes ago.”

Austin laughs. “You have your own room?”

I nod. “Yeah,”

“How far are you driving tomorrow?”

“To Oklahoma.”

Austin scrunches his face. “That sounds terrible.”

“It will be.” I sigh. “Anyway, what did you do after I left?”

“I helped Tino load up his car, then I started packing a little.”

“Sounds like fun.”

Austin laughs a little. “I guess. I have to give a tour tomorrow.”

“A tour?”

He nods. “Yeah, incoming freshman.”

“Why did they wait until everyone left?”

Austin shrugs. “I don’t know.”

-=-

“Austin.” I whisper.

He looks up. “What?”

“You fell asleep.” I smile.

We had been talking for the past three hours, so it was now one in the morning.

“Oh, sorry.” He gives me a sleep smile.

“You want to go to bed?” I ask.

“I want to, but I want to be with you.”

“Put your computer on your table and we’ll fall asleep with Skype open.” I suggest.

“That doesn’t sound safe, but I’m tired so I’ll go with it.” Austin smiles and gets out of his chair, taking his computer with him to his bed.

I watch as Austin sets his computer on his table and then walking back to get the charger. I wanted to be there so badly, to cuddle up to him and play with his hair until he fell asleep, feel his arms around me. But no, I was in fucking Indiana.

Austin climbs into his bed, shirtless and looks at me. “You good?”

I nod. “Kind of.”

Austin smiles. “If nothing catches on fire we can do this every night.”

“That sounds nice.” I smile.

“Night, Alan. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Austin. Good night.” I adjust my pillow and cuddled Austin's shirt closer to me, wishing he was in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be uploading the sequel soon. If you want to read it before then, it's over on my mibba page of the same name. :)


End file.
